You know what really gripes my ass? People yelling all the time. Teenagers do it, probably because they don’t know what else to do, but so do many adults. They apparently think that hollering stuff is funny, and makes them seem wacky and wild.
But they’re wrong. It makes them look like idiots. It puts them in the same category as those big mamas at Wal-Mart screaming at their fat and nondescript children (usually named Dusty or Cole) from one end of the Faygo aisle to the other:
“Dusty, put down that jerky sack!! I told you we weren’t buying no jerky today! Did you hear me?! Dusty!! I SAID PUT DOWN THE GODDAMN JERKY!”
Without going into too much detail, I encounter yellers all the time. They scream each other’s names as a greeting, apparently believing this is witty. And every once in a while they’ll let loose a top o’ the lungs hog call, prompted by nothing whatsoever.
My simple request: shut the fuck up. Yelling is not funny. Something is either humorous, or it isn’t. Volume doesn’t change the equation. You think that screaming makes up for the fact that you can never think of anything clever to say, but you are wrong.
So do us all a favor and shut your dumbass hot wing hole. And while you’re at it: jam it deep and on a slant. Holy hell.
Last night Toney and I had an argument, and I went to bed at 9:30 (funk this!), and was wide awake again at 1:30 in the morning. I got up, made myself a peanut butter and jelly sanglich (I was also starving), and read for two hours. I went back to bed at 3:30, and slept until 10:30.
Nobody likes a sad sack complainer (except Morrissey fans), but we’re in a valley right now. Life is sucking the proverbial big one, and we’re starting to take it out on each other. No good. We could use a little good news, we really could. Where go the good news? The seeds have been sown (I’ve been sowin’ like a son of a bitch), but so far… no green chutes.
Maybe you guys can wish some good juju our way? I’d really appreciate any positive juju efforts on our behalf. Pass the dutchie.
In any case… Be sure to check out today’s Further Evidence link, or just watch the video right here. What was going through the guy’s head? It’s both hilarious and hard to watch.
But once you get past the dude’s rather interesting execution, don’t you just hate it when politicians bust out the heartwarming anecdote? It’s probably my most-hated political cliche. Followed closely by the speech-fist, with the thumb sticking out. Know what I mean? Here’s a pic.
They always claim that some down on their luck person approached them in a diner or some other “regular person” locale, begging for relief from the ideas of their opponent. And I can’t help but believe these little tales are complete and utter fabrications. At the very least, they’re greatly exaggerated, and “adjusted.”
What really happened in that diner, I think to myself, is this asshole probably showed up with his entourage, everyone acted really condescending and rude to the staff, and they stiffed the waitress on her tip. Or is that too cynical?
Without devolving into paint-by-numbers political talking points (please God…) what other politician cliches get under your skin? These things transcend party and ideology, so let’s try to keep it neutral, OK? It’s the height of election season, so what’s bugging you? Generally speaking…
Use the comments link below.
And finally, I’d like know what movies you watch over and over again. But, to make the exercise a little more interesting, let’s disqualify Christmas flicks. Everyone seems to have a list of holiday movies they like to watch every year, so let’s make today’s list non-holiday only.
I don’t watch too many movies repeatedly, but make an exception for Animal House, and The Hollywood Knights. They’re similar films, and make me happy every time. In fact, I’m feeling the urge to bust out Animal House, right now. I might watch it tonight, and also kick off Bourbon Season a few days early.
So, if you have anything on this subject, please share. And I’m going to call it a week, my friends.
I’ll see you again on Monday.