Now that the Taco Bell drive-through stays open late, I sometimes stop and order two tacos on my way home from work, drive to my house, and snorkel them down while parked in the driveway. I don’t do this often, because it’s a bad habit to start. But once a week shouldn’t hurt much, right?
The thing is… I think they’re screwing with me. The first time I undertook this middle o’ the night Mexican adventure, here’s how it went:
Them: Help you?
Me: Yes, I’ll have two crunchy tacos. And that’s all.
Them: Two hard tacos?
Me: Yes, and that’ll do it.
Them: Anything to drink?
And the second time I remembered how they’d corrected me during the previous visit, and adjusted my taco identifier accordingly:
Them: Take your order?
Me: Yes, I’ll have two hard tacos. And that’s all.
Them: Two crunchy tacos?
Me: Um, yeah.
Them: Want something to drink?
And that’s the way it goes. I order crunchy or hard tacos, and they always switch it to the opposite of what I said. Followed by a blatant disregard for my declarative “and that’s all.”
What the hell, man?
Yeah, it’s kind of irritating. But I’m here to tell you… those things taste fantastic at 2:15 a.m. Roughly a million times better than at noon. Why is that? Taco Bell very late at night is almost impossible to beat, but it’s only OK for lunch. Somebody needs to fund a university study.
It occurred to me while I was coming downstairs this morning that stairs are really nothing but a long fall, broken up into a series of shorter, more-manageable falls. It’s much preferred to fall six inches twenty times, than to go ten feet all at once. Right? Genius!
My friend Tim, in Dunbar, sent me an email a few days ago, congratulating me on Crossroads Road. Here it is, in its entirety:
Man, this is a big deal. You’re a published author!
And to think I knew you back when you had jiffy pop hair, drank beer, and made fun of people…..oh, wait a minute….
I’m sorry, I’m getting a little emotional here…
And speaking of the book, check this out. WTF?
Also, I was approved by Apple yesterday, to be a vendor in iTunes/iBooks. I’ve started the process of setting up Crossroads Road, but it’s ridiculously convoluted. It might take me a while. Those guys don’t make it easy… I had Amazon and Barnes & Noble up and running within ten minutes each, but you need to be an engineer and an attorney to deal with Apple. Please bear with me.
Once again, here are the places Crossroads Roads can currently be purchased:
Kindle Store at amazon.com
NOOKBooks at BN.com
Kindle Store at amazon.co.uk
And I’m working on others. Stay tuned.
You know what bugs me? Ex-jocks hosting shows on TV. I don’t mind one old player being there to add color and folksiness, but it irritates me when they anchor the program. Because they usually have about as much pizzazz and charisma as a head of Bibb lettuce.
I was watching a baseball recap on ESPN a few days ago, and I’m pretty sure all three of the hosts used to play baseball, and all of them were horrible.
One guy, way down on the end, looked like he’d been wedged into a suit by a team of handlers, and could barely move. It looked like a normal-sized person was standing inside a giant papier-mâché body, with his blockhead sticking out of the top. And every time he said something I wished my TV had come equipped with a demumblifier.
The dude in the middle acted like he didn’t want to be there, was sporting ludicrous facial hair, and rarely spoke. He added nothing, and just turned to his left or his right, to agree with whatever unenthusiastic dullness his co-hosts nervously produced.
It’s true that I couldn’t do any better, but I’m not hosting TV shows. There’s the difference. Why not bring in a couple of professional sports announcers, with knowledge and insight, and one competent ex-jock to run those programs? It felt like I was watching some kind of student production, interrupted by game highlights.
Yeah, I know Tony Kubek and Joe Garagiola were ex-players. But they had actual talent. So, now that I think about it… I guess I don’t really have a problem with retired jocks being sports announcers, I just wish they’d find some good ones every once in a while. Am I wrong?
On Saturday night Toney and I attended some fancy-pants soiree at a local country club, and Toney got up and did the opening remarks, and spoke for about ten minutes. Hundreds of people were there, and even though I had nothing in it, I was awash with flop sweat.
I have a phobia, you see, when it comes to public speaking. In fact, when I started my current job I even had trouble holding meetings with my small crew there. I could do it, but it was harder than it should have been. I’ve gotten over that, and run a mean meeting now, but during the first six months it was a bit of a struggle. It’s all the eyes being on me at once. I don’t care for that.
And that’s one of my irrational fears. Do you have any fully-realized phobias? I also have a big issue with heights. Even seeing someone on TV walking along the edge of a cliff, or whatever, gives me a weird, unpleasant feeling in the heart of my groin region.
So, there you go. Please tell us about your phobias, and comment on any of the other stuff I mentioned here, if you’re so inclined. And I’ll be back tomorrow.
Have a great day, my friends.
Really? That never happens.
I am not scared of clowns, but I hate them and want to fight them…even as a little kid I would think, “I’d love to punch that fucker in his bit red stupid nose.” Fucking clowns.
Clowns scare the bejesuss out of me. Ecer see that USPS commercial where they have to get the evil clown out of the house? That would be me, trembling behind a post.
*big*
Holy Shit. My first first!
Or fourth, as the case may be.
Or,since the first three were all metten, am I second? Too much to ponder.
The older I get, the more I get freaked out by snakes. Lately it seems The Discovery Channel has 50% of its programming devoted to the legless creatures.
FIRST
Nope, sorry. See above.
wow – that came and went fast,
My ex used to say that. 🙁
LOL Mine did also. I kept saying why it was good for me???
Absolutely not.
I think all the fast food places do that – try to get you to go for the package deal.
Agreed. There is scripting involved.
Always have to go for the upsell.
They are probably graded on it.
I recently learned that EXTRA pickle in the North
(try not to puke, Jeff)
Reads as HEAVY pickle in the South.
I have yet to be corrected, but yeah
irritating when you make an ATTEMPT to conform
and it slaps you in the face .
Jeff… you amaze me.
You suck on radio
and now I just learned that
you struggle to hold a meeting
yet you have a huge number of digital minions
that you easily/flawlessly engage with
Totally smells like a psychosis (don’t panic!!)
Bees. Holy jumping Jesus on a pogo stick I dread this time of year. Even a fly making that bzzzzz sound will send my arms flailing like Pete Townsend.
What is the purpose of a wasp anyway besides making me hyperventilate? Bees pollinate things but wasps? Scary mo fos.
I hate hornets and wasps with a passion. The fact that I grew up in an asbestos sided, rotting wood frame house doesn’t help; it was infested with the bastards, and that buzzing sound does the same thing to me. I used to burn their nests with gasoline for kicks. Bastards, I tell ya!
A guy down the street kept honeybees. I just found out he passed away. I wonder where the frickin’ bees went?
We’re in ur mailbox, reading ur mails.
Good Afternoon Surf Reporters….
Heights for sure. I get the same dick tingling feeling just looking at a picture of someone high up on a ledge or overhang.
And lately, I’ve developed an aversion to crowds as well. If I’m at a sporting even or concert, no big deal. But a crowded store, restaurant, bar, grocery store, etc.? I’m always at the point of busting out of my skin. Just can’t stand being around all those people.
And phobias? Not heights, I’ve ridden the big twirling thing off the edge of the Stratosphere. I walked to within a half inch of the edge of the Grand Canyon and stood on loose gravel to look straight down. My wife literally crawled 20 feet to peer over the edge, then crawled back 20 feet before she stood up. Yet when we went paragliding for the first time she made a 45 second flight off a 200 foot training hill and immediately told me ” we’ve got to get into this” She loves flying a paraglider even with a fear of heights. Go figure. And as a former part time repair plumber, I,ve been in enough really low crawlspaces to guess I,m not very claustrophobic. I ride a motorcycle about 450 miles a week in the summer, so dyin’ ain’t the issue. But even at my age pretty women can scare me stupid. (Some of them anyway. I know some truly beautiful women that put me completely at ease, And young girls in their early twenties or so seem to get along with me since they probably figure I,m old enough to be harmless) I’m lucky my wife chased me around.
The Taco Bell people are asking you about drinks because they have to. Most places like that use “mystery shoppers” who stop by and place small orders, but check to make sure you follow the corporate play book.
In high school I worked at a gas station. We could always spot the mystery shopper because they were the douches that pulled in during rush hour and only wanted $5. We’d end up giving the $5 car the full treatment: Oil check, tires, windshield, etc. while the regular customer who was getting the fill-up was basically ignored. Still, they gave out decent prizes to people who scored high, so we always played along.
I hate heights, probably a result of falling off a 50′ scaffold when I was young and stupid (I was jumping from section to section, in the rain, without being tied-off).
Jeff,
Have you considered plugging the book at FARK? I seem to recall your old site listed FARK as a “Friend of the WVSR”, so I assume that you hang out there occasionally, or at least used to . I’d plug it for you at 4chan, but that might not be the kind of attention you want.
I taught aerobics, spinning and kickboxing for over 20 years…which, at one time, meant getting up in front of upwards to 60 people in one class. It was fun as hell before I got totally burned out.
Spiders. Scared to DEATH. Even the word gives me palpitations. The house we live in is bordered by woods on the back and side. So you can imagine the size of these fucking things we get IN THE HOUSE.
Two summers ago, I was stepping into the shower when I noticed “something” moving on top of the shower curtain rod. Holy fucksticks….a spider bigger than a goddamn golfball and that was just the body. I think my dog tried to hump it. I ran into the livingroom screaming and crying. Your basic panic attack. I send in my boyfriend in to kill it. He’s yelling out “What should I do with it??” It was THAT big. Now, before I step into the shower, I peek through the shower curtain and give it the once over. Phuck dat!!!
Oh…and not that’s it’s really a “phobia” but loud noises are beginning to irritate me. Not loud music like concerts or fireworks kind of loud…I’m not THAT old.
Your fear of spiders is the same as my fear of bees (screaming and crying and racing into another room). yet, spiders don’t scare me at all. OK, those big hairy fucklebugs aren’t pretty to look at but it doesn’t cause that same throat clutching panic I get with bees.
madz: Fear of bee’s? Keep away from the Bunker Cam today. Lol!!
So of course I looked! Reminds me of Johnny Depp!
Heh, “fucklebugs”, I like that!
OMG, I have a total fear of spiders, especially in showers thanks to that godawfulmovie Arachnaphobia. That scene where the chick is in the shower & that damned spider is slowly crawling all over?! Oh dear god I think I need to leave work early now, I’m so farklempt. I HATE SPIDERS.
I NEVER saw “Arachnaphobia”. I can’t even see pictures of spiders and it sends me into a cold sweat. Can’t do it. Can’t do it. Can’t do it.
Side Note: Is it too late to fax in a drawing of the boss?
I don’t know if it’s too late or not but I’d sure like to see your rendition of the Big boss and Mini boss!
Ex-players are hit-or-miss as sports commentators… mostly miss though. Nobody will ever beat Emmitt Smith for worst sports commentator ever. Any time he opened his mouth, you knew it would be a gem.
Speaking in front of an audience also stresses me out. It takes me about 10 minutes to finally settle into a groove and feel comfortable.
I think it’s specifically when I’m speaking in front of strangers though… I could give a speech in front of 50 friends, and I’d have no problem at all. But if I’m making a phone call to someone for the first time, all sorts of stress. Fortunately, my job doesn’t involve any sort of cold calling.
Not exactly Taco Bell, but didn’t a run to the diner at 3:00 AM always taste great after a night of boozing? A bacon and cheese omelet, toast and hashbrowns seemed to absorb the alky-hol so you could make it home and ward off the bed spins.
There was a place in Naperville called El Famous that had these amazing burritos. They were the size of a football. Nothing at 1AM tasted better than El Famous burritos. Magic.
I am afraid of Hall and Oates
This may seem weird, but I can’t stand going through a car wash. Maybe its the fact that I don’t have control of the car while inside, or all that apparatus flapping around and slapping at my vehicle, or maybe its just the surly ex-cons and toothless meth addicts that seem to work at every car wash I’ve ever been to, but just the thought of taking my car through one of those places makes me cringe.
And I’ll second Tyrosine’s comments on why they always upsell at Taco Bell. Its been the same at every fast food, and most retail, jobs I’ve held in my varied “career.” In fact, I was once reprimanded by my bosses for failing to adequately promote a so-called discount card when I was working at a chain bookstore. Buncha pricks.
I can’t do heights. Or amusement rides. who wants to go careening to your death on a machine from Tokyo?? and pay for it?? ugh.
watching the scene from Sherlock Holmes when they are at the top of the crane gets me. I can’t even look. Even Avatar, with that floating mountain crap. Shit isn’t even real, but I have to clench. ugh.
bugs…my job is bugs. Seriously. I work for a federally funded program(millions spent) on trapping a certain bug. gotta love the USA!!!
Oh crap! Where did I leave my pants?
I’m afraid of blondes. And lawyers. Don’t even get me started on blonde lawyers…..
We use the jokes to lull you into a false sense of security, and then… !!!
I developed a fear of flying. I never used to mind flying at all, but now I have full blown panic attacks and have to get loaded up on Xanax before I go. The first time it happened I was taking a little 2 hour flight to Dallas. About 30 minutes before the flight I started going insane. So I walked over to a cafe in the airport and shotgunned about 6 double screwdrivers. That did the trick. But I was almost not allowed to get on the plane because of my “swerving”.
I’ve also developed a phobia of the dark. Even if I’m in the safety of my home I rush across the room in the dark to turn on the lights. Same thing when I come in late at night. I can’t stand being at my front door for more than a few seconds, because I’m sure that someone will run up and stab me in the back of the neck. This only happens when I’m up walking around. When I’m in bed I require absolute darkness.
Clowns have already been mentioned, which are the evil minions of Satan himself. Can’t stand them. Yes, I’m terrified of the clown-under-the-bed scene in “Poltergeist”!
I also have a phobia of crowds, which again has already been mentioned. That fear for me is limited only to crowds that are not orderly. Stadiums and large auditoriums don’t tend to bother me. It’s when large herds of people are milling around, bumping into me that set my teeth on edge. For instance, a Black Friday Sale makes me want to roll up into the fetal position screaming. I HATE it!
Dentists are also on the short list of phobias. I don’t like the metal tools they use on my teeth.
Oh, and I also used to have a fear of driving in the snow…until I got my Blizzaks! (jtb–I hope the Blizzak moritorium has ended!)
Hypothesis: why takos are better at night:
– your body probably doeesn’t like the nutritional value of a burrito, but on the other side, it tastes very good… so at noon, you body wants nutrition that will get you through to the next meal, so your body is probably telling you at the sub-conscious level: “do you really expect me to keep you going with THIS?”, therefore reducing the body enjoyment.
after midnight, your body probably just need something to fill the void. so the great taste factor doesn’t get dilluted down because of with the missing nutrients part.
disclaimer: I’m not a scientist (no shit 🙂 )
ok, I need a spell checker installed somewhere between my brain and my fingers.
I’m terrified of Paul Stanley.
I sometimes make an involuntary sound when the movies pull that heights shit. Bastards…
I have two phobias that border on psychotic. I’ll mention neither. There are people who may be reading this while knowing who I am. And would use such information against me. Which would cause 27 seconds of barely controlled fury and also a minute or two of 3 year old girl-style sissy tears. I’m man enough to admit that.
Damn, this whole thing started out nicely enough… now I feel like a wuss… and I’m scared of sounding like a wuss…
I’m afraid of cheese fuckers.
You needn’t fear cheese fuckers (unless you are cheese). They mind their own business, in general, and raping an inanimate object is a lot better than raping an actual woman.
If not for processed cheese loaf, the rape rates would be through the roof!
And this goes out to all my fellow acrophobics:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1016472/Is-ultimate-dangerous-infinity-pool-world-The-natural-water-hole-perched-edge-Victoria-Falls.html
Gretchen: I have never “met” anyone who finds the craziest shit on the web like you do!
Why thank you! And thanks be to Clarion University for my awesome library science degree, which is used solely for internet trolling (as in fishing, not being an ass on comment boards…..although some people here might beg to differ).
That appears to be a blatant case of child abuse. Just sayin’.
I know. I can’t believe anyone would do that, much less parents with their children!
Funk dat!
I’m an acrophobic (“Hi, Dude”), but before looking at those pictures I thought my reaction was limited to in-person encounters with precipices. I just got the same damned feeling I get when I or someone else approaches an edge.
Sweet sainted mother of Philippe Petit….
“I’m not afraid of heights. I’m afraid of widths.”
-Steven Wright
“demumblifier.”
Damn, That’s what I need for other people. If I had that, I wouldn’t need hearing aids!
I’m not afraid of much…..but spiders would have to be up there.
I have a ridiculous phobia with sharks. I don’t like getting in the pool because I am convinced one will come out of the drain thing for me. (Remember, I said ridiculous.)
Here’s the worst part though. I cannot watch any movie/film/commercial/pictures, etc. of underwater shots. None at all. Especially the dark scenes because I know a shark will lurch out in a split second wanting to eat me. Yup, I know they will.
In Titanic during the shot of the necklace dropping in the ocean I about shat myself in fear. I have to squeeze my eyes closed and only open them when the shot is finished. My boyfriend knows of this weird fear and although he used to make fun of me a lot he knows I’m not kidding so he is honest & tells me ‘It’s gone’ & it really is. He knows I might have a heart attack if it isn’t.
Told ya I was weird.
Here are my other ridiculous phobias that are all extreme & leave me squirming with my eyes closed until the scenes are over, or screaming like an 11 year old at a Bieber concert:
-Spiders
-Snakes
-Space pictures/shots (the infiniti of black kills me!)
-Ben Affleck’s acting
When the roller coaster comes to the first drop, and you see nothing but sky before going over the edge. I can’t even watch that on TV without my sphincter developing a mind of its own.
Being tall, I always feel like I’m going to fall right out, no matter how elaborate the safety harness.
I have a MAJOR phobia of snakes (worms bother me too), and am not that good with heights.
Public speaking… no problem if it’s people I know, yes problem if it’s strangers. I was best man for my brother’s wedding, and completely screwed up the toast because most of the guests were “her” family and friends, whom I didn’t know.
Heights are no problem. Last roller coaster I went on, my biggest fear was losing my glasses from the inverted Gs. I used to fly tiny airplanes, back when I thought I’d be able to afford it. “Tiny” meaning Piper Cherokees and the like, not models.
I despise wasps, despite the fact that I am a WASP. Does that count as irony?
.
I am afraid of doing something really embarrassing in public. I try so hard to be smooth and inside I’m a seething mess. I used to own a boa constrictor named Bal. Bal Boa. Get it?. He was about 7 foot long or so. Pretty cool snake.
Buzzards give me the gibblies. Especially when they run.
I used to do that Taco Bell sort of thing, but in reverse…and with hamburgers. I would order a cheeseburger with no cheese and go round and round with the order taker about giving me a cheeseburger, wrapped in cheeseburger paper, and charge me for a cheeseburger; but without cheese. Then bitch that they tried to trick me and charge me for a cheeseburger when they gave me a hamburger.
About the stairs, they are a different version of the simple machine inclined plane. The same amount of work (falling 20 feet) is done, with less energy expended (slamming into the ground after accelerating 9.8 meters per second squared).
Fuck Apple.
I fear people touching me. Any time someone comes within 15 feet of me I start to play out various scenarios from the incidental dodge to the ghetto-footloose-gaspump style beat down I may bestow upon the poor fool who touches me. There isn’t any corresponding intensity either. It could be an accidental bump that forces me to drive a fire-extinguisher nozzle up their nose and give them serious brain-freeze. Or a person grasping my hand and getting it shoved into their throat. Or a pat on the back causing me to turn and shuffle away in discomfort.
I also fear getting “god bless you” after a sneeze, or any variation thereof. I don’t care about soiling my sleeve so much, but how the hell am I supposed to respond to that post-sneeze banter bullshit.
I usually just say thank you.
This week I fear having to teach again. It’s a bit irrational because I’ve been teaching for 7 years. But the last 2 of that 7 have actually been administration, so no actual teaching.
I’ve been teaching for 15 years, and I am nervous going back even after a long weekend. So i wouldn’t call that irrational. Good luck!
My phobias have all been mentioned and are fairly pedestrian. However, recently I saw someone die on public transportation, so that may manifest itself in some unexpected way like an irrational fear of shrimp gumbo or something. It won’t become a fear of public transportation because I will never fear that more than I fear the high cost of the parking garage in the building where I work.
Unusual phobias of people I have known: condiments, shaped pasta and midgets.
Not really a “phobia”, maybe, but an annoyance of sorts. Styrofoam. I hate Styrofoam. When I was a kid, my parents bought me a small drill and gave me styrofoam to drill into with the slightlylargerthananeedlesized bit. I created many teeth out of it and pretended to be a dentist. No problems and the drill was probably my favorite toy as a kid. Something happened along the way, where, once I reached my 20s, the noise, texture and just general touching of Styrofoam sends me up a wall. If someone was to come to a fight with me and had Styrofoam as a weapon, squeezed it and crunched it, I would immediately become an amoeba. No explanation for it. It just evolved into my personal kryptonite.
Some ex-jock sportscasters have surprised me into being alamingly good. Troy Aikman, for example. Very good. In his playing days, and I am sure this is due to all of the concussions, a typical interview would be like this:
Interviewer: Troy, what did you think of your team’s performance today?
Troy: Uuhhhhh, well, uhhhhhh, we had, uhh, a chance to go ahead, uuuhhhhhhh, after uhhhhh halftime, but didn’t uhhhhhh execute the way we uhhhh should have, but, overall, uhhhhhhhhh, I think we, uhhhhhhhhhh……..
You get the idea
When it was announced he would be in the booth once he retired, I thought this was going to be an abortion.
However, Troy has proven me wrong.
I haven’t eaten at Taco Bell in two months, as my workplace has had a biggest loser contest going and I have lost 46 pounds in two months. The entry fee was 20 dollahs and the pot for the winner (loser) is 380 dollahs. I will win this, with only three more weeks to go. 380 dollahs will buy a lot of tacos when I am done (and pizza for that matter, which I miss beyond belief).
I did eat 30 tacos in an hour at nighttime one time, which I don’t think I would have enjoyed as much in the daytime, so I believe that theory that they are better at night.
I’m done now.
I could do with a lot less “I’ll tell yuh whut” from Troy, though. If you pay close attention, you can see the occasional brain fart in both Troy and Steve Young when they’re speaking. Their faces go slack, they look a little panicked, then they recover. That’s the concussions talking (or not talking). As for other ex jock announcers, there’s a few that cause me cringe like fingernails on a chalkboard, but only Joe Theisman makes me downright homicidal.
As for the baseball show Jeff described, I’m thinking he caught some of “Baseball Tonight”. John Kruk does indeed look like he’d need a team of handlers to get into a suit. Though it might please Jeff to know that Kruk’s early morning Taco Bell forays are apparently the stuff of legend.
Kruk is also a native WVian, from the eastern panhandle.
Favorite Kruk highlight- At bat against Randy Johnson in 1993 All-Star game. It can be found on YouTube.
Kruk also lost a jewel because of teammate Mitch Williams (Wild Thing)s pickoff throw that hit him square in the nuts. Weird to see them together on Baseball Tonight sometimes. Y”know Kruk’s gotta have some deep seeded resentment.
I know Mitch Williams has been largely forgiven and embraced by Phillies fans in his current profession. But I still feel my blood pressure raise a bit when I hear his name and immediately think of Game 6 of the 1993 World Series. A prime example of why it’s only cute in movies to have a pitcher nicknamed “Wild Thing”.
That Kruk/Johnson clip (aka, Mullet vd. Mullet) always ends up on an ESPN highlight real every baseball season. Classic. 🙂
‘Scuse me. It’s “vs” not “vd”. Sounds like I was talking about venereal disease transferred via bad mulletage.
Makes me appreciate Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth all the more.
I’m partial to Jaws, but that’s probably my Philly bias. I like it when he and Gruden get into it, especially when Gruden had a serious hard on for the Wild Cat offense.
Hey, do you suppose all this sports talk will force Jeff to post something new today?
Maybe, Jeff doesn’t like football.
Angry – congratulations on your weight loss. That $380 will come inhandy for new clothes.
And a big ass pizza!
Thanks. Not the first time I have dropped massive amounts of weight, only to put it back on later due to overeating, but because of my Deneroisk ability to gain and lose weight (see “Raging Bull”, I knew I would win this thing from the onset, even signing up by writing “eventual winner” beside my name.
No new clothes needed. Saved all my old ones from when I was in my 230’s.
“Deniroisk” Sorry Bob! You’re the best.
Why would anybody want an ass pizza?
.
I can’t STAND Terry Bradshaw. He’s so fucking full of himself. Calling himself “the greatest quarterback ever” and shit like that. Drink bleach, Terry.
What is with all the Coulrophobia?
Clowns now appear,
They carrying knives and cups of gasoline,
“Tonight is our death.” then begin to slash each other…
Clowns now appear,
They carrying knives and cups of gasoline,
“Tonight is our death.” the skies open up: the flames pour in…
the world watched in awe.
MESMERIZED.
You better not be talking about Aaron Boone!
And I may be talking out of turn but do we have any reviews?