OK, this is the end of the line, my friends. After today I’m going underground for a week. I have something that needs to be accomplished (purposely vague), and will be turning over my life to it. Pretty dramatic, huh?
No, it’s not the Lord…
Yeah, I won’t be here, but the website lives on. I’m planning to have five mini-updates loaded into WordPress, and set to post automatically every morning next week. Unless I succumb to half-assery again, you guys will have a new Question of the Day at 9 a.m. Eastern, on Monday through Friday. So, the website won’t be dormant. It’ll just be under the control of… Virtual Jeff.
As I type this I’m completely exhausted. I’ll probably feel the urge to climb atop the dormancy platform before 9:30. But that’s a risky proposition. When I go to bed that early, I often wake up four hours later. Then I’m sitting in the living room reading until 5 a.m., and the whole next day is jacked-up. Early to bed sounds good in theory, but not so much in practice. I think Ben was sometimes talking straight out of his ample ass.
Indeed, last time I did this, the first day was completely ruined. I think I tried to avoid the four-hour bolt-upright awakening by drinking two or three beers during the evening. But it was a fitful sleep, and I woke up tired. I don’t know if the beer had anything to do with it, but I’m hesitant to revisit that scenario. I’ll probably just stay up until 11, and watch a documentary on Netflix. Or read some more about those happy-go-lucky lads at Columbine.
I put too much pressure on myself… Sleeping is not a problem for me, until I start thinking about it. So, I try to put it out of my head, and that only makes me think about it more. If tomorrow didn’t matter, I’d sleep like a striped bastard.
Our lawnmower won’t start, and is in the shop. It was serviced in early spring – new spark plug, filter, oil, etc. And it worked perfectly the first four or five times we used it. Then: deader than Kelsey’s nuts, again. Shit, man… I have more lawnmower troubles in a single summer, than most people do in a lifetime. All I do is use it, like a normal person. It’s not abused, or left out in the rain, or anything. It’s frustrating, as well as infuriating.
Right now our grass is so tall it’s waving in the breeze. I was hoping the mower would be ready today, so I could knock it out while I’m in a daze and wouldn’t feel it. But, no such luck. Grrr…
Man, I miss the California era when a team of recent immigrants would converge on our property, turn it into a thing of beauty within seven minutes, and leave me a bill for $10. That was the greatest luxury known to man. Here in Pennsylvania they want $50 per cut. Ha!
The good news? I have both of the Secrets helping me now. So, it’s not so bad if we spread it out amongst the three of us. If the stupid mower would start, that is. Hey, wonder if the boys are sabotaging it? That thought hadn’t occurred to me…
A few days ago I received a letter informing me my life insurance is going up by $63 per month, because I’m an old, old man. Well, that’s not the way they put it, but it’s true, nonetheless. I remember when we bought that policy, and the guy telling us the price stays the same for the first ten years (I think). The same price until 2012… Man, that seemed like a distant science fiction landscape that we didn’t need to worry about.
Hey, whatever. We’ll just pay it. What choice do we have? The part that bothers me is that I’ve left the old risk pool, and entered a riskier one. I was a safer bet last month, than I am today. About $63 worth… I don’t care for it.
On a more positive note, I haven’t heard anything from my doctor about the blood and pee I let them have last week. No news is good news, right? I assume they’d call if I had Sickle Cell, or something? I have a follow-up appointment in about two weeks. I’ll be sweating bullets in the waiting room on that one, and probably suffering from a four-hour wake-up, as well.
Wanna hear something that’s really weird? Check it out. I received a Google Alert about it. It sounds like one of those talking ATMs, simply reciting the description of my book at Amazon. It’s very strange, and kinda spooky. Almost like that Yankee, Hotel, Foxtrot crap, which gave me nightmares for a week.
Speaking of the book, it’s sold about 500 Kindle copies since it was free a couple of weeks ago. I have it priced at 99 cents, to try to keep the momentum going, and it’s doing well. It was down to a copy per day, and now it’s been reanimated. Very cool.
And that pretty much closes out the ol’ notebook. I’ve got nothing else to contribute… If you’re interested in taking up my slack, please do so in the comments section below.
Have a great day, my friends.
Virtual Jeff will be here on Monday.