I didn’t make the beer drinkers’ bean pot this past weekend, because the weather was way too hot and humid. I got up on Saturday morning, walked outside to allow Andy to sling some urine, took a reading and said, “Yeah, this is not bean weather.” And that was that. Hopefully I’ll still give a crap by next weekend, but I wouldn’t place any bets on it.
I’d also planned to remove all the Soviet humbox air conditioners on Saturday, but it felt like we might regret it later in the evening. Indeed, both boys cooled their rooms off that night, before going to bed. It was a gross and sticky day, right in the middle of our glorious fall. What the hell, man? I’m thinking about filing a lawsuit.
On Saturday afternoon I went to lunch with the younger boy, because it feels like there’s not enough just-him-and-me time. We went to Five Guys, and I ordered a cheeseburger with lettuce, tomato, onions, green peppers, ketchup, and mustard. It’s a perfect combination. I love the green peppers, although they cut the pieces a little too thick. It adds a full extra-inch of lift to that bitch, and I almost have to unlatch my jaw, like a snake.
We talked a little bit, but he’s quiet. I’m quiet, too, so it’s probably not all that surprising. But I feel a need to connect with him, like there might be something lacking in our relationship. I’m sure it’s just his personality, but it takes a little extra effort with the younger one. His brother talks all the time, and it’s strange how two kids raised exactly alike, in the same house, can have such different personalities. But he’s fine, just laid-back. We had a few laughs at other peoples’ expense, and I felt much better about things.
On Friday I went to work for about five hours, to get some things caught-up. Afterward, I stopped at an unusual beer store/delicatessen/bar in Wilkes-Barre, to check out a Stone Brewing Company tasting event. They were serving up samples of something called Imperial Black IPA, and it was fantastic. It was jet black, but loaded with hops – like, you know, an IPA. It was odd, but delicious.
In the rear of the store you could buy draft pints of this kick-ass elixir, served in Stone Brewing bar glasses, which you could take home. Each pint was six bucks, and I purchased one without delay. I mingled a little bit, and talked to some folks I met during my WILK radio appearance. Then I took a seat at one of the tables, and nursed my beer.
And about one-third of the way into it, I could tell it packed a wallop. I asked the Stone Brewing dude about the alcohol content, and he said it’s just shy of 11%. Holy shitballs. The thing was really, really good, but by the time I got to the bottom of the glass I had cartoon blue jays flying around my head.
I’d planned to have two pints, before hitting the devil’s parkway (I-81), but could tell I’d better stop at one. I was operating on an empty stomach (a mistake a professional should never make), and a single pint was kicking my ass all over that weird store/beer garden/sandwich shop. I told a couple of people goodbye, and headed for the door.
As I was leaving, Joe T. and his wife arrived and I started having second thoughts. Maybe I could have another one, after all? Heck, it’s just two beers. Sure, they were bunker busters, but it’s still just two. Right? But a guy from my job showed up next, someone from upper management, and I stood and talked with him for a couple of minutes. And those birds were circling at an accelerated clip. Man, I needed to get the hell outta there…
You see… Ten years ago I would have stayed, gotten drunk, and said some things that seemed hilarious at the time. And the next morning I would have realized with horror that if I said what I thought I’d said, it was some really weird and dark shit. Then I’d convince myself I’d surely be fired on Monday, and escorted to my car by riffled security guards.
When I got home I had a giant plate of spaghetti, enjoyed two Dogfish Head 60 Minute Ales, and settled in for three episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm off the DVR. We’ve almost watched the whole season in two weekends. It’s solid, as usual. We only have one episode to go: with Michael J. Fox. Heh. I have a feeling I’m going to like it.
Over the weekend we also watched the first episode of a new show called Person of Interest. It wasn’t horrible, but I was hoping to love it. I’m willing to give it two more weeks, which is fair, right? I think so. Two more weeks to hook me. I wanna be hooked.
Are you watching any new shows this year? Tell me about the good ones, while there’s still time to catch-up. We don’t watch much, but I’d be willing to find the time for something worthwhile. Help me out, won’t you?
Wednesday is my last night of work, before my big writing vacation. Starting at 1:30 a.m. on Thursday, I’m free until 3 p.m. on October 9. How cool is that? I’m excited.
I will be starting the next book, which I believe will come together much quicker than the first one. It’s going to be non-fiction, which is something I’m a little more comfortable with. I’ve been working on a loose outline all summer, and I’m ready to go. It’s going to be a lot of fun, and I hope to come out on the other end with a funny and relatable tale of hillbilly debauchery. Please stay tuned.
Before I call it a day… I was recently interviewed by the Kindle Author blog, about Crossroads Road, and you can check it out here. I did it a couple of months ago, but it was just recently posted. I hope you enjoy it.
And that’s going to do it, boys and girls. In addition to the new TV show question, tell us about your weekend. It’s a Monday tradition, so use the comments link below. Also, have you ever made a drunken “witty” remark to a work big-shot, which you later regretted? If so, we’ll need to know about it.
I’ll be back tomorrow.
Have a great day!
Now playing in the bunker
Crossroads Road just 99 cents for Kindle!
Bob K says
It’s only the second season but I am totally hooked on Boardwalk Empire on HBO. The new season began last night and I was glued!
I got a pumpkin yesterday. I felt so autumnal. Overdid it on a treadmill work-out on Saturday and now I’m gimping around like I should be wearing one of those big assed wedged shoes on my right foot.
We LOVE BoardWalk Empire but missed it last night because of the Steeler Game. We’ll have to catch up on OnDemand.
greg t says
We have watched a few new shows. One about a DR that sees his dead wife. That is about the only one that I have said.”hmm Might make it”..
No new shows for me to recommend. Most of my TV time is watching Turner Classic Movies. They showed the movie “Zero Hour” starring Dana Andrews last week. I had never seen it before, but it was nearly the entire movie “Airplane!” but done seriously. Great stuff.
And here in Nome, Alaska, it is bean type weather. The tundra has turned from green, to a beautiful gold, red, and now turning toward brown. The geese and the sandhill cranes are working their way south, temperatures are dipping into the mid 30s at night, and soon we’ll have snow!!!!!
Oh, btw, did anyone watch the new show, “PanAm” last night? I’m sure it’s probably just going to turn into a Sunday night soap opera, but the previews did make it look like it had possibilities.
Jerry in WV says
Watched Revenge last week. Not too bad. I will give it a couple more weeks to see how it goes. My weekend was spent mowing grass and watching both Marshall and WVU get their butts kicked. I am still pissed off.
I had three rapid fire Sierra Nevada Torpedoes on Saturday evening and had to rest on the sofa for a good three hours afterwards. Awoke or regained, whichever, with a slight case of it hurts my head when I move it this way.
I don’t need to watch TV. In fact, they should park some cameras around my house and make a reality TV show right here.
Here’s the latest:
My daughter’s friend, Kathy, gave up a piece of ass to some boy that my daughter likes, so they got into a texting cat fight. Kathy decides that her friendship with my daughter is more important than the boy, so she starts leaving huge bouquets of flowers on our front porch twice per day with I AM SORRY notes attached. One of the bunches of flowers still had the price tag attached $59.95. I think she left 5 or 6 bunches of flowers since this shit started.
The girls make up and plan to go to a football game on Friday night. Kathy drives off the road and takes out some sort of speed limit sign, punctures a hole in the oil pan, and continues to drive the car until the engine blows up. Of course, she is now grounded for a year or two.
My kid’s other friend gets dumped by her boyfriend and threatened suicide. Evidently, she drank a fifth of vodka and ate something like seven Vicodin she saved up when she got her wisdom teeth pulled. She went to the hospital Saturday night to have her stomach pumped.
My employer just informed me that we have a mandatory meeting at the corporate office in Pittsburgh on October 5 dealing with Diversity Training. Evidently, some people like to send emails around making fun of blacks and Hispanics and some blacks and Hispanics were receiving the emails. Thankfully, I am not in on the email chain.
The saga continues.
hardoxdan, can I live my life vicariously through you? My so called life has really become lame!
Wow! The kids love their drama, don’t they? I had a 19yr old girlfriend a couple of years back. It was constantly fights, cops, over-doses, car accidents, etc. in her crowd. I stopped believing the stories after a while.
four kids here..24-30..you are so right on my friend!
Watched “Prime Suspect” last week. The woman playing the lead is not as good as Helen Mirren was in the show of the same name on BBC. And she would be a lot hotter if she wouldn’t wear that stupid-assed fedora. Gets a 6 on a scale of 1-10.
I liked “Up All Night”. Christina Applegate is still hot, even after the surgeries, and a funny actress. The two shows she had after “Married With Children” were watched in my household as well.
“Terra Nova” is on tonight, and I will watch it, although it looks like it might be a giant turd.
Over the weekend, I worked 28 hours.
Told a former boss his wife had nice DSLs. Didn’t last long after that.
I’m a little slow on the up and up – what are DSLs?
(All i can think of is: Dancing with the Stars Legs).
And 28 hours? Holy shit!
The L is for lips
T. Farty McAppleass says
DSLips. Still, I can’t figure it out.
Dirt Sucking Lips!
Yeah, I could see how that wouldn’t go over to well with the boss. Just call her a Hoover next time. or a Ho’ver. That’ll clinch a nice big bonus.
That’s the first thing I noticed – that stupid ass hat. There is no way that show can live up to the original British version.
I don’t think I have really watched any new shows. I will probably just stick with The Office/Parks and Recreation/Community.
I may check out that show Alcatraz if and when it ever comes on.
When’s the last time somebodies been to an Eckerd’s?
Are those places still around?
Ours closed – they are now Rite Aids.
Nah, they got bought out by RiteAid, as near as I can tell. The Eckerd’s in my wife hometown in Western NY beame a RiteAid years ago.
How about Rexall Drug Stores? Not a name you’ve seen in the U.S. for decades, but they still have them in Canada. Ahhhhh, Canada, where you can buy a big bottle of Tylenol with codeine for less than you’d pay for the same size bottle WITHOUT codeine here in the U.S.
Of course, Canadians make that awful poutine stuff, and put gravy on french fries. I guess every country has its tradeoffs, lol!
T. Farty McAppleass says
Anybody remember TG&Y stores?
WB in OH says
Yeah, when I was a kid TG&Y was the place to go. This was when I iived in Easley, SC. That’s the only one I ever saw — I assumed it was a local thing.
I remember TG&Y, and when Walmart came to town they died a quiet death.
I think in Danbury, CT there is still a Rexall. No lunch counter though. I reember going for a chocolate egg cream in our old Rexall.
And no, never heard of TG&Y.
madz1962…not trying to date you, but you must be as old as me, lol!
I’m 592 months old.
I’m almost 7 years old…in dog years 😉
Jersey Scott says
Showtime is offering a free On Demand peek at the first ep. of “Homecoming”, a drama where Claire Danes plays an intel analyst for the CIA who is suspicious of an American POW freed from Iraq. It sounded interesting and in the same way that pushers get you hooked, “the first one’s free” — it was so good we’re thinking of whether or not we can justify adding Showtime to our cable pack. They’ve got this new show, plus “Dexter” and a comedy interview show that looks interesting. If Comcast runs a promo where I can get it 10 bucks a month the first year or so we may have a new channel.
We took off early on Friday and headed for the coast. It’s being repainted (I hate the goddamn kitchy “beach colors” that my wife picked) and I’m getting it set up for Fall. Nobody likes to go to the beach during Fall except for me, and that’s fine. I end up sitting in the quiet, getting drunk, and watching movies.
I’m sick as fuck this morning. I think I might have had some bad fish or something while down there.
Love going away during the fall. We’re leaving for Hilton Head in a few weeks.
Jail sucks, but it would make good fodder for a book. One beer is enough to get you into the system and cost you a boat-load of money.
Henderson, that’s why you always go out drinking with friends…so you can let the next person slightly drunker than you are be the “designated driver.”
In my years of tending bar, I thought I had seen it all. This older drunk lady complaining that I was serving her weak drinks. We went through the complaint routine on her gin and tonic about three times, each time I made it stronger. On my fourth attempt, I just gave her a 6 ounce glass of straight gin…and she bitched at me because I “wasn’t puttin’ any booze” in her drink.
Best of the best, however, was one night this customer was so drunk (he came in that way), that when I told him I wouldn’t serve him, he got up off the barstool, did a few spins, then sat down. He asked me to help him find his keys and get him out to his car. He told me, “Hey, I can’t walk, but I sure as hell can drive my car.” Needless to say, I had my bar back cover for me while I drove the guy home. Fun times in P’burg, WV!
Hey, that might have been me. Did you drive to Wellsburg?
Back in the Days, clintcurtis!! Can you believe how open it was in P’burg back then!! Everyone drove around drunker than shit all the time, and nobody ever got arrested, and the cops knew what was going on!! Yep, it was “Too drunk to walk, so I’ll have to drive.” It was amazing we all didn’t get picked up. Lemme tell ya, it’s sure not that way, now. I don’t even do the bars anymore. Way too scary. Most of the arrests in the paper are for DUI’s.
Alright, the best of the best was some lady driving home from the bar up the street from my small one in Vienna. She sideswiped one of my customer’s cars that was parked on the street, and kept driving. Myself and the owner of the car gave chase, and caught up with her down at that intersection going into the Grand Central Mall…where she had run a red light and managed to take out three other cars!
You’re right Greg, it’s amazing that a good majority of us aren’t either doing time, or riding bicycles because we’ve had our licenses suspended!
Alice in WV says
my kindle stopped powering up, and their tech support just said they’d send me a replacement. I’ll pass judgement on them in two days. 🙂
A good thing about Amazon is, somehow, a customer found me their page even though I don’t sell through them.
I’m bummed about All My Children being gone. It was a staple in my life – one of the bonds between me and my Grandmother. Anyone that sees my tweets was probably sick of me tweeting about it and has since un-followed me. still licking my wounds but I’ll recover.
You probably know about this band already, but I am really digging them. I’m 37 and don’t get excited about new bands like I used to, but this is an exception. Do a google search for Sleeper Agent. They are great. Unbelievably, I discovered them right after they played in a small club near my house in St. Louis and I missed the show. So it goes.
Swami Bologna says
I watched the video on the front page of their website (http://sleeperagentmusic.com/) — pretty darn good. According to Amazon, their first album will be released tomorrow. I think I just might buy it. Thanks for the tip, Dan.
WB in OH says
Music is not bad, but they all need haircuts.
Hold on I’ll be right back there are some damn kids on my lawn.
Willard “Bill” Hershberger cut his own goddamn throat. His dad, Claude, shot his fucking brain out with a shotgun.
And Willie Mays made a terrific catch in deep center. Welcome to the site, Jason.
By the way, Mays played with the Chattanooga Choo-Choos and the Birmingham Black Barons before being signed to the New York Giants. This was just after Jackie, and the bigs hoped they could turn back the clock.
The Boston Braves passed on Mays. They could have had him for just about nothing. Had they signed him, they would have had Aaron and Mays in their outfield for twenty years.
Damn. I sure as heck am not going to google “bowl of corn” motherfuckers and find out what happened to it!
Thanks for the golden rain cartoon. I don’t remember seeing that before. It’s damn near dead solid perfect.
…and an exceptionally good update. Thanks…jtb
My boyfriend just told me this little ditty over the weekend..perfect for the subject at hand:
Some dude that worked in a subdivision of my boyfriends company was dating his boss’s daughter. He was a supervisor himself. He was on the phone arguing with one of his guys when he said, “If I wanted to argue with a cock sucker, I’d call my girlfriend.” Not realizing his boss was standing right behind him.
Sorry, Jeff. No new shows. Same ol’ shit here. The only things we really “schedule” to watch is Sons of Anarachy and Boardwalk Empire.
Saw the worlds’ smallest woman at the OK state fair. I love midgets but this was just sad.
I paid a buck to exploit both a little person and a black person.
Oh, and does wal-mart close when the state fair is in town?
I’ve seen that one. Also, the fattest man. He was sitting in a tent watching tv and people paid a buck to walk in and laugh in his face, openly.
The best scripted show on TV right now is Justified, without a doubt. The first two seasons are out on DVD, and we are eagerly awaiting season 3. It is the only thing on TV that trumps the toddler’s requests for Pixar movies.
Publix has a Build Your Own 6 Pack shelf, and I had a lot of fun picking out a few the other day. I’m do not like beer (thanks to Jeff I heard about Yuenglings when I was trying everything possible to increase my breast milk supply, so I had something I could stand. No, I’m not making it up as an excuse to drink while breasfeeding, the lactation consultant suggested it) but I love bringing home something new and unusual that my husband likes. And I found some hard cider on the rack that was amazing.
“I love bringing home something new and unusual that my husband likes.”
I don’t know where you were for the majority of my marriages, but I admire your position. I find now that I have the time, I lack the inclination, but your point of view is nonetheless bracing.
I’m ONLY referring to alcohol! 😉
I hate when I am typing something into google’s search box, and the recommendations are so distracting that I forget what I wanted to look up.
I started typing something about “why does it seem…” (… because I can’t remember what I wanted).
By the time I got to “why does it” the recommendations were so absolutely unrelated to what I wanted I completely forgot what I wanted while I was typing.
It seems like there are a lot of people that have burning issues during the excretion of the bodies products.
Search thing happens to me all the time. I call it Googleheimers.
I just discovered Firefly on Netflix.
It’s isnt new, but it is awesome and if you haven’t seen it then you should check it out.
kill your television.
Hey, now. We have hardoxdan, Dan, and dandan all posting today. Somebody must change their handle or we are going to get all fucked up in here.
By the way, Willie hit the cutoff man on the button.
I feel like a total jerk but I’m not much of a “reader”…so forgive me, I’m just now reading the book and had to share…
“have you ever heard of a man keeping his sexy undies in the fridge”
bahahhaaaaaa. That is all
Big Bear in OH says
I thought Terra Nova was pretty frickin good tonight, but then again, I only watched about half of it before I went outside to help unload a Eisenhower-era welder that my brother bought. We needed a goddamn block and tackle to get the thing out of the truck. If you’re looking for good TV, here are my (biased) suggestions– Justified, Community, How I Met Your Mother, The Big Bang Theory, Bones, and Sons of Anarchy. Terra Nova, if it makes it, seems like it’ll be pretty good, but otherwise, I don’t really see anything else coming on that seems like it’ll be any good.
Big Bang Theory and Psych are the best shows on TV. Funny and smart. A fabulous combo!
BBT is good, I’ve loved Psych for years.
I like How I met your mother, I find it a saner compliment to IT’s Always Sunny in PHiladelphia.
I just saw this new show called the Simpson’s. It’s animated but I think it might be around for a while.
Phil Jett says
I second Boardwalk Empire, the wife is even in to it, though she said there is way too much gratuitous titty.
I don’t know how that is possible.
Also a fan of Justified, Community and I definately plan on watching Homeland on Showtime. I really like Damien Lewis in Band of Brothers and Claire Danes is easy to look at. It’s also made by the guys who produced 24.
Some Guy on the Innernets says
So Jeff, I see you mentioned Charles Portis in your Kindle interview. Man, I love his stuff! Masters of Atlantis just kills me, it’s so damn funny, and the more I learn about outfits like the Masons and the innumerable offshoots, the more I see just what a savage satire it is on more levels than I am aware of. He has had some short stories published in the Atlantic too. I’m saving Norwood, like that last box of Savannahs in the freezer, because I don’t want to read it all up too soon. Anyone who likes dry humor and exquisitely developed characters needs to get to know Portis.