I hope you guys had a great New Years. I was in bed by 11 on Saturday night, and didn’t even wait to see them lower Dick Clark from an office building, or whatever they do. I was going to stay up, but this message appeared in my Twitter feed: Justin Bieber sings ‘Let It Be’ on ‘New Year’s Rockin’ Eve’: Watch it here!
So, that was out. I fired up my Kindle instead, and climbed ‘neath the electric blanket. At midnight (I presume) shit started blowing-up outside, but it only lasted for ten minutes or so. And it was so low-key, Andy didn’t even jump on the bed to seek protection. Not exactly “a night to remember.”
I’ve never gone out on New Years Eve, not once in my life. I haven’t experienced a scene like the one at the beginning of The Poseidon Adventure, before everything goes ass-over-tits. It looks kinda fun, but I’d likely have a big problem with all those people pressing against me, and blowing novelty whistles, and sporting dipshit headwear.
Sure, everybody looks happy on TV and in movies at those events, but something tells me it wouldn’t be that way in real life. I have a feeling I’d a) have some sort of claustrophobic freakout, b) get caught up in the vortex of someone’s ass musk, and desperately shove my way toward the exit, or c) start yelling, “Get off me, motherfucker! And if you blow that pennywhistle in my ear one more time, we’re going to have a goddamn problem.”
So, it’s probably best that I just stay home, and read.
Earlier, that same night, Toney and I did watch a movie, however. This doesn’t happen very often, because we don’t generally agree on what to watch. But we saw Horrible Bosses, and both of us were pleasantly surprised. We didn’t have high hopes for it, probably for different reasons, but ended up loving it. It was funny as hell.
And yesterday the younger Secret and I logged several hours of watching the Twilight Zone marathon. Before I left for work they showed the one where “Will Robinson” wishes people into the cornfield, and I was satisfied. It’s one of my favorite episodes, partly because that creepy kid reminds me of Nancy’s oldest translucent. People walk on eggshells around him, too, for fear of what terrifying thing might happen. Heh.
But I returned to work last night, for the first time since Tuesday. It was excruciating, and today won’t be much better. Oh well. At least I had a little downtime, before the ridiculousness kicks up again.
On Saturday I wrote a guest post for Mark Maynard’s website. He and his wife Linette recently welcomed a newborn son into their family, and Mark asked some of his friends to help out with blog content for a few weeks. And you can read my contribution here.
Congrats, guys! I don’t envy you starting over with diapers, and all that stuff, but that’s beside the point. I’m very happy for all four of you!
Over my extended weekend I also met Steve for lunch, and we exchanged Christmas gifts. This is something that started when we were nine, or somesuch, and has somehow survived the many, many years that have come and gone since.
We met at a Cracker Barrel in Wilkes-Barre, and I rifled down a chicken ‘n’ dumplins dinner, with three side items, two biscuits, and a schooner of sweet tea. I considered dessert, but decided against it. I think I ate a little too fast, and it felt like my windpipe was partially blocked.
And Steve gave me a Johnny Bench-signed baseball bat, which is about as cool as it gets. I will be buying a display case for it, and hanging it in the bunker soon. Awesome.
I won’t tell you what I gave him, because it’s not as kick-ass as the bat. And I don’t need you guys to confirm it, thank you very much.
And I need to go now. How was your New Years Eve, etc.? Please tell us about it in the comments. Did you go the pennywhistle route, or just hang around ‘neath blankets, like me?
I’ll see you again tomorrow.
Have a great day!
Now playing in the bunker
Treat yourself at Amazon: US and Canada
First!
Happy New Year. Congratulations on the Crossroads Road
Low-key with the fambly. I haven’t gotten ‘rowdy’ since 2002 and that was a disaster so no more of that shit.
We drank 3 each DFH Indian Brown Ales and went to bed around 11:30. We both woke up about 3:00 or so and couldn’t go back to sleep until nearly daylight–old folks insomnia kicking in–plus headachey with incredible gas (TMI?) Suspicion falls on the beer. Anyone else reached incredible flatulence level with the Indian Brown? But oh, so, so tasty. Thinking not worth it, though.
Also might be contributed to the small zoo we’ve ingested over the past 5 days. Little lamb, buffalo, half-pound pork chops, steak and so forth and so on–I been cooking like a bitch.
Drank 3 Stegmaier Winter Warmers, made homemade pizzas, and watched Kung Fu Panda 2 with the boys.
BTW, the Johnny Bench bat is a gift I think most of us couldn’t top.
3 vodka cocktails, about a sixer of Session Lager and a bottle of wine with a delivery pizza and to bed @ 10:30.
We went to a couples home who for years had a very happening, fun-filled, alcohol laden party . This year his wife put the edict out none of her husband’s regular bar friends were invited, so it was me and my SO. We were the only couple that showed up!
Their 3 year old monopolized the whole evening, (playing dress up, reading stories, change baby doll clothes, etc.) I downed one bottle Pinot Noir there, three glasses previously at dinner. We left at 10PM due to tired of entertaining the tyke. I’m staying home next year!
my husband and i sat on the couch and watched dick clark who looked crazy orange like they loaded him up with spray tan, it was weird…watched the ball dropped, kissed and than went to sleep.
We stayed home with the kids. I’ve never been out on New Years and don’t plan to either.
We ordered a couple of cheap pizzas for the kids and drank soda. We told the older kids to go to bed at 12:30 but woke up at 6 to discover they were still up! Husband yelled at them to go to sleep and we all fell asleep until 9 or so. I thought about getting them up then just to mess with them but didn’t feel like dealing with attitudes all day.
The older two have been staying up late and sleeping to early afternoon the whole break. School starts back up on Wednesday. Going to be fun!
Loin fruit were both out at friends; wife was upstairs in bed; I turned to local channel when countdown hit 6 seconds – I turned off the tv and suffered with insomnia for the next four hours.
It seems all I have are memories now…
http://thewvsr.com/index.php/grab-your-humiliation-hats-its-almost-party-time/#comment-29657
Flaming lips and yoko ono. I almost got arrested for taking a picture of a guy in a banana suit at a urinal. It was from way of too the side and not dick was seen but a security guard made me delete it and asked if i wanted to be a registered sex offender.
Where the heck have they got security guards for urinals?
Sounds like the kind of thing you might see in the Ronald Reagan Building.
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I was in bed by 10:30 pm. The cable box went out, so I took that as a sign to go to bed.
The other day when I had stomach flu, I think I found an example of the squeaky voice.
I was watching that stupid show Sons of Guns, and noticed the daughter talked that way.
It was very annoying.
I was watching the Moscow fireworks show, live… On t.v. during normal hours. I promptly feel asleep shortly before the local festivies kicked off.
I went out to a bar for New Years Eve. I’m pretty sure that was the first time in my life I’ve done that; in the past I’ve always gone to a friend’s house or hung out at home.
This bar is kind of an exception to my my experience of bars – the bartenders and most of the regulars know me, and I have a friend who lives within staggering distance, who kindly let me sleep on the couch.
I had maybe eight Green Flash Imperial IPAs (on tap!), plus the on-the-house three fingers of champagne in a plastic cup. Also, at some point a bunch of us wobbled next door to the Forest Inn (neighborhood dive bar) for shots.
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We hung around the house and had some champagne before turning in early. That’s pretty much what we do around here now on Amateur Night.
I’ve been to quite a few New Year’s parties over the years and even co-hosted a couple. The first one taught me a valuable lesson: Don’t host New Year’s parties. My then-housemate insisted on the second one, so I said fine as long as he cleaned up the mess. He did that while I was at work nursing a nasty hangover. Spent a lot of time in the rest room at work. Yikes. It was a hell of a party, though, the semi-official work party and I worked with a lot of interesting folks back then. I miss my mid twenties and being immortal and all. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I really did get killed one of those times when by rights I should have, and just haven’t figured it out yet. Some ghost stories go like that. I dunno but it sure was fun being young and dumb.
Watched the Further Evidence link. That video gave me so many ideas. The last bit looked like the guy pulled the baggie out of his dog’s ass.
Gotta get me a poo trap. Size XXXXXXXXXXXXXL…
had to work on New Years again. My wife had to work on the first, so we did nothing special. If we were off we’d have been in bed at 10 anyway. Back in my younger drunk and disorderly days I’d have been at a biker party somewhere till I couldn’t remember riding home. Once (’80-’81 if memory serves) I did a couple hits of acid at Disneyland on New Years Eve. Last time I ever took any. Not one of my better ideas. Somehow I always seemed to make it, but I can relate to Some Guy and the wondering if if maybe I didn’t quite make it once. The guy in Jacob’s Ladder did work for the Post Office before he figured out he was dead.
Fell asleep on the sofa until my daughter’s stirring around in the kitchen woke me up around 11:55 pm. We watched the muppet Dick Clark feebly try to count down to 0, toasted in the New Year, openned some party favors from my sister, then went back to sleep. Yes, I am that much of a party animal.
The only time I’ve ever been out for New Years was when I had gone to happy hour after work, and just stayed until after midnight. I seem to recall looking at the clock around ten and thinking, “Two more hours? Is it really worth it?” It wasn’t.
Wait, a schooner of sweet tea? That’s either rather meager or relatively normal depending on what part of Australia you’re in, but to me it’s a type of sailboat of indeterminate tonnage. Are we talking Block Island Boat here?
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Wife and kids walked 300 feet to the edge of the hill we live on in Nome and watched fireworks. I just went to bed to try to sleep after falling a few das earlier and breaking both my pinkie fingers. Ouch!
We stayed in the house and had friends over for a drinking session. A friend’s girlfriend threw up all over the bathroom and had to be taken home, but the rest of us stayed up into the wee hours listening to music and downing cold beer and an ungodly assortment of liquor. Nothing too earth-shattering.
What’s all this 2012 boolshit? I’m still waiting to party like it’s 1999!
Fell asleep on the couch, woke up at 11:53 and raced to our bedroom where Beloved was fast asleep. Lenaed over but he was honk-shooing away and couldn’t be roused. So I watched Dick Clark with my coneheaded cat. Got into bed and heard Church bells and I thought “How lovely! I never heard them before” (because we’re usually in the living room on New Years rather than already asleep). So they chimed. And chimed. and chimed…. some fucklebug probably programmed 12 minutes rather than 2012. Towrads the end it was just a droning as if the batteries were wearing down.
In my younger days I dated a guy who insisted on going out big time – one of those places that drags out watery eggs at 3:00 in the morning. It was always a tribe of us and inevitably, someone would get pissed off at their date and 1/2 the night would be spent in th ladies room while comforting some chick who kept sobbing into her whiskey sours. It always SUCKED.
Alright, back from the tar pits.
So, over the past two weeks I was a silently chuckling witness to:
1 awkward adoption
2 illicit affairs, with a brother against brother battle royal that included a candelabra.
4 divorces
and a severed toe.
That’s some hell of a way to close out an arbitrary measurement of time.
Can anyone trump this?
We did the DJ Cruise on the Majestic…part of the Gateway Clipper Fleet. It sailed from 9:30 – 12:30 up and down the 3 rivers. I am not a New Year’s fan, so it was perfect. Nothing crazy. Nice buffet then DJ wedding music (ugh), champagne toast with stupid party hats and noise makers. But given the choice of someone’s house, a bar or the cruise…I choose the cruise.
My BF is at that tweener age where he doesn’t yet realize he is too old to party like he did. So staying home wasn’t an option.
We were home by 1AM. Actually before that because we watched the end of SNL.
I hate house parties. The last one we went to was last year. Only 4 couples; one of which were fighting so it was a little uncomfortable.
We went to our local bar for the Steeler/Browns game Sunday. Since we both had off Monday, which almost never happens, we got completely FUBAR’d. That’s it for me for a while. I blow my load once or twice a month and won’t want another drink for weeks.
We watched Spies Like Us with the girls (it was their first time and my 100,001st time) and paused it to watch the last few seconds of the countdown. Seeing Dick Clark made me kinda depressed, but I got over it. Happy 2012, Surf Reporters!
We’ve had a tradition for years now where we have a “fondue party” at our house every New Year’s Eve. You guys know about fondue, right? We have cheese pots and a chocolate pot but mostly pots filled with oil that people can cook beef, chicken, sausages, whatever in. We had a pretty good crowd. It seems to grow every year. I’d never met about 20% of the people there.
I tell ya, if it wasn’t such a hassle, eating everything fondue style would be one hell of a diet. I think it’s because you eat so slow. About 1/2 a cup of fried chicken meat and you’re STUFFED.
My wife and I decided to stop exchanging gifts with each other years ago. First, if we want something we just go get it. Second, and more importantly, I’m a shitty gift giver. She always cheats and gets me something anyway and I come away feeling like a blubbering vagina. She got me a telescope one year. Not a real fancy one or anything. This year she went all out and got a NASA grade telescope. So I’ve been looking a Jupiter and Venus the last couple of nights. Neat. But I still feel like an ass. She got nothing from me, as usual.