Last night I was thinking about Nancy’s population scheme, which she used to preach to anyone who would listen. Until, of course, she violated her own rules… Then, amazingly enough, we never heard her proclamations anymore. It’s funny how that works, isn’t it?
She used to say that a couple shouldn’t have more than two kids, that they should only replace themselves on Earth, or, preferably, reduce the population by one or two. This was one of her favorite talking points for years. Until, of course, she had three kids with a man who already had two with another woman.
So, you see, the three of them ADDED two people to the global population. Three biological parents… five children. They’re a plus-2. The 1994 Nancy would take a dim view of the 2011 Nancy, there’s little doubt about it. Oh, that woman of high tolerance took a lot of dim views back then (and now – just different ones).
If you’re interested in telling us how you’ve affected the world’s population, please do so in the comments. I’m breaking even: two parents, two kids. What about you? Are you a plus-1, a minus-2, or what? You know, if you feel like answering… Obviously, it’s just for fun. I doubt many of us give a single dingle, one way or the other.
A few weeks ago I activated my 20 gig Amazon Cloud drive (free with the purchase of a full-length mp3 album), and began uploading music to it. I started with whatever’s currently saved on my laptop, and it said it would require 63 hours of upload time. I’ve gotten it down to 54 hours, and at this rate I should have my music on the cloud by summer of 2046.
But it‘s really cool, and will undoubtedly become even cooler over time. I’ll be able to use an app to listen to my entire music collection through my phone, and all of it will be stored for free, offsite. Music files don’t count toward the 20 gigs, only photos and data and non-music files eat up space. So, I uploaded for nine straight hours and still have my original 20 gigs available.
Do you use Amazon Cloud for anything? I read an article in Wired a few months ago that said cloud drives are where 99% of data will be stored in the near future. “Computers” will be little more than cheap retrieval devices, with no hard drives. If one stops working, you just replace it — like a kitchen radio.
Weird, huh? But I can see it happening. And at that point companies like Amazon and Google will find themselves in charge of most of the world’s information. It’s going to be great!
I know a guy named Gary, who was a coworker at my former job. I used to see him almost every time I visited a restaurant called Don Pablo’s. I’d say he was there 75% of the time. I never saw him anywhere else, only at Don Pablo’s.
It was really weird, and I jokingly asked him if he ate dinner there every night of his life. And he said, “I was going to ask you the same thing!” Apparently we were just on a very similar Don Pablo’s cycle. We went there about once a month, and he said he did, as well. It was strange.
About a year ago, maybe more, Don Pablo’s closed its doors, and I never saw Gary again. I guess if I need to contact him for some reason, I could go to the Don Pablo’s website and find their nearest restaurant. Right? Then I could drive there, find Gary, and have a conversation.
At least that would be one way of doing it.
A few days ago, at a Facebook page about my hometown of Dunbar, a woman brought up a robbery that happened at a grocery store there called Fas-Chek. She said it happened in January of 1985, and she was a cashier that night.
I was there too, working as a stocker. No way I’d be able to come up with a date, but I’m sure she’s correct. And it was one of the scariest things I’ve ever experienced.
It happened in the evening, after dark, and four or five guys came through the front door wearing ski masks, and carrying shotguns. They made the cashiers and the so-called manager lie face-down on the floor. Then they emptied the safe of something like $40,000.
There was a ton of money on-hand, because the store cashed payroll checks every Friday. The robbery happened late on a Thursday, making it seem like they knew what they were doing.
I was in the backroom, with a couple of other guys, and we didn’t really know what to do. One of the masked intruders was walking around the store, peeking in the meat-cutting room, the produce prep area, etc. Looking for people calling the cops, I guess. And he was making his way toward the backroom.
It was terrifying. We had no way of knowing what he’d do when he walked through the door and found us standing there. Shotguns and ski masks and lots of yelling can put a person on edge…
But he never made it to the backroom. I think the safe was emptied, and the other guys yelled for him to hurry it up. So, he went right past, without seeing us.
Once they were gone, a guy named Ron opened the receiving doors, and the thieves were running across the parking lot. They heard the door open, and one turned and shot his gun in our general direction. There were pellets embedded in the front of the store when it was all over.
It was insane, and those guys were never caught. I always suspected it was a former (or possibly current) employee, and some “friends.” They seemed to know a little too much, and arrived at the perfect time for maximum dollars.
And for a Question, I’d like to know if you’ve ever been in a situation where someone pointed a gun at you. Maybe during a robbery or an argument, or some other craziness? Please tell us about it in the comments. I also had it happen while working at a convenience store, but I’ve told that story many times… It’s your turn now.
I’ll see you guys next time!
Have a great day.
Now playing in the bunker
Crossroads Road for your Kindle: just $2.99!
We’re breakeven with the boy and girl.
The only time I’ve knowingly been in cross hairs was when I took a wrong turn and ended up approaching the gate at the naval base in San Diego. I thought it would have been better to keep driving towards the gate rather than stop…hesitate …try to bang a U-EE. As I was talking to the guard I glanced around and found myself staring down a machine gun behind a sandbag wall. It was a tad unnerving.
I do find myself lit up with targeting lasers every so often…that’s also a tad unnerving…
Speaking of when the ignorant overbreed, anyone ever see “Idiocracy” by Mike Judge?
Love that movie!
0 here. Two of me, two of them. Or however that goes.
Had a gun pointed at me by two people: The owner of a gun shop in the middle of East Toolierushers, under the guise of showing the old man a rifle, turned and pointed it at my face! Oh funny! Ha ha! I pushed the barrel away and told him ‘ALL guns are loaded, idiot.’ No sale!
Second gun pointed at me was held by -and I shit thee not, y’all-a girl with a six inch tall mohawk wearing a black bustier and a pink tutu. She was some random friend of a friend who wanted to show us what she’d just bought. Next thing I know I have the barrel of a .45 touching the end of my nose and she’s striking an Emma Peel pose while announcing ‘well check THIS out!’ and yes, I was in a real good position to check it out. Which I did. This is what I get for hanging around bikers. Note on latter: if you ever happen to be in the Seattle area and are in the mood to get a tattoo, avoid a 300lb behemoth named Natalie…she isn’t very bright, or stable, and she’s ARMED.
I was just thinking about getting a tattoo of a gal with a 6 inch mohawk wearing a black bustier and a pink tutu, but it just seemed too ordinary. Maybe I’ll go with something more exotic – like a rose! YEAH!
How about a cherry with wings? *snork*
Yeah…stay away from bikers. They ain’t no good.
madz: I have a sticker on my helmet that reads: “I may not have a cherry but stil have the box it came in” . Perhaps you could get that tattooed on the side of your neck (!?!)
Bikerchick: I AM a biker! Thats part of the reason why I have random friends of friends with mohawks and tutus who also happen to be unstable pistol-packing 300lb tattoo artists. The other part may have something to do with my astrological sign, or the French, or nuclear testing. Or my being a freak magnet.
I tried to talk my ex-husband into getting the cherry with wings tattoo. He was game, although completely puzzled. Kept asking me what it meant.
I’m in love with a tattooed chick named Natalie. Not really, but she is awesome.
I’m not pro or anti gun but you never get a 3 yr old shooting himself with a crossbow.
I’ve had cops point guns at me even though I called them.
I’m in love with a tatooed chick named Lydia…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4zRe_wvJw8
Lydia?
http://youtu.be/TJaYG_U7qpY
I want to be the second verse of let’s get it on…
More fun with Casey Anthony – NSFW:
http://cwahart.com/images/bj.jpg
I’m breaking even
Never had a gun pointed at me but I did get hit by a ricocheting shotgun pellet when hunting in some heavy brush with my father. Probably doesn’t count eh?
2 guys with backpacks and what appeared to be geiger counters just came hiking out of the woods and were cutting across my lawn. TF? Thank God my husband was out there- I see him talking to these two “explorers.”
What balls people have. Sound like the you’re thoroughfare of the NY suburbs. Start charging admission. Make a buck on these jerkoff’s.
Shit! Dyslexic I sure am today
“Be vewy vewy quiet. We’re hunting geigers”
Turns out they were 2 hikers who got seriously lost. And it wasn’t a geiger counter – they had walking sticks and a compass. I guess they couldn’t read the compass. Beloved said they were really nice guys who didn’t want a lift back to their car – (a good 10 miles away) but just a point in the right direction. All righty then!
Dammit, I was hoping they were a couple of Ghostbusters!
Now THAT would have been cool! This area is ripe with paranormal activity. I find it fascinating.
Do the eye gouge.
I just bought the cramps, drive by truckers, and Bruce hornsby on vinyl. And a cd which I’m forgetting.
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/43945396/ns/today-entertainment/
You know, for someone who professes to never eat meat, Morrissey sure puts his foot in his mouth a lot.
Wow. Next will be wal mart is worse than a young jewish boy marrying the Holocaust’s sister
Box scores…
Limes 12/$1.00…Peaches $.48lb.
Chicken Thighs $.89lb…Rib Eyes $5.68lb.
Double punch points on your shoppers card with four completed underarm farts.
Those sound like 1993 prices. Then again, although prices are higher nowadays, so is the armpit fart credit. So maybe it’s about a wash.
.
I am +1 (3 girls with the one wife).
No crazy gun play or armed robberies in my history but I did get stopped by police (spot light from a police helicopter and a few marked cars) while jogging one night in Phoenix AZ. Apparently someone knocked off a 7-11 and since I was running I was a suspect. I had no ID with me so I had to stand in front of the cop car while the shaken clerk decided my fate. I was told I could go home.
anybody here use Skype?
Never a gun, but I did have a knife pulled on me. Scary stuff!
I had picked up a woman in a bar, took her home, and we went up to her bedroom. All of a sudden, a guy jumps out of her closet brandishing a knife. He said he was her husbband, she said it was her ex-husband. Hey, he was the one with a knife, so who was I to argue?
Anyway, she runs past me out of the room, and returns with a big ol’ chef’s knife. She started swinging it like she was one of the cast of West Side Story.
Hubby and her were going at it like the Sharks and the Jets, when all of a sudden, he thrusted, while she had her empty palm outstretched. The tip of his knife went through her hand, and all of a sudden she went down gasping for air.
Hubby, who minutes earlier was going to kill me, asked me to grab her purse and get her asthma medication. He administered aid, and I got the heck out of there!
Was her name Natalie?
We’re all fucked when the world runs out of enough puke to sustain life. I hear there’s people in South America hoarding puke, but you can’t do that because it’ll go rancid.
That’s right boys, the puke troughs are running low and people are going to get desperate. Some say they’ll go to eateries and cut people’s stomachs open and suck up the life giving puke right there at the table. But that can only take you so far.
This is a scary time to be alive.
Hey…Marla Cadavers should pick up on this trend and avoid going tits up Puke Pot Pie and Cow’s Cud Casserole might be the thing. . Then again…a good plate of “Tits UP” might serve their interests even better.
My first taste of the puke lifestyle came when I was about 8 years old. My grandpappy stopped by and I was at home alone with my hot ass 19 year old babysitter. He said, “come on kids, let’s strip to our drawers and go to the pond and swim.” The whole walk over he kept giggling and saying, “Go ahead now, you two, and old man can’t keep up.” Then he ran up from behind us and hit her on the back with a large tree limb. She started vomiting right away and I could see that my grandpappy had a hardon. So did I.
He got down on all fours and started gobbling up puke and he said, “Come on sunny, have your fill before she comes to!” So I also started eating the puke. I never felt so alive!
We were were done we wiped the puke from our chin and walked back to the house. He said, “Don’t tell your mother about this.” And I didn’t. I have no idea what became of Beverly, my babysitter. We left her laying by the pond and I never saw her again.