Thanks to everyone who participated in our Blues Singers in the Kitchen! project yesterday. It’s important work we do here… and I appreciate your superior efforts.
The Surf Report is blocked at my job (99% of the internet is clamped-down), but I receive an email every time there’s a new comment. And I was reading the names of your “singers” last night, and giggling like a fat mama’s boy who’s just been handed a tray of Cinnabon.
Stay tuned for the next room. This is going well, I think.
Speaking of work, it’s been kicking my ass from here to there. We’re extremely busy, as well as short-handed. And that’s a perfect storm that leads to me waking up with lower back pain every morning. Today I felt like that agony of defeat skier, the day after. Sweet sainted mother of Funky Winkerbean!
But today is my Friday, and if I can make it through the night without encountering some life-changing tragedy, I’ll be free until Sunday afternoon.
Tomorrow I have a full docket. The T-Shirt Lady sent me an email this morning letting me know the M.I.A. shirts are ready for pick-up. So, I’ll be driving to her workshop (elves work there), and picking up the last ten shirts.
Then I’m gonna buy a giant tankard of McDonald’s sweet tea, park in the shade somewhere, and put shirts into envelopes. I will then proceed to the post office and mail every shirt still owed, along with a couple of new Evil Twin orders. Once again, I’m sorry for the delay. It was, as they say, beyond my control.
After the shirt task is completed, I will be heading to Scranton to have our propane tank filled. I forgot to turn off our grill a few weeks ago, and ran every bit of gas out of the thing. Heh. It’s a wonder something didn’t go awry, and the rear of our house wasn’t incinerated.
Stupid grills… Shouldn’t they have an automatic shut-off, in case they’re being used by a guy who’s been drinking Yuengling Lager all evening? Wotta rip-off. I think I’m going to hire a lawyer and file a boxer brief in superior court, or whatever.
Friday will be devoted to the “book,” and Saturday I hope to spend some time with the family. I think I still remember what they look like… I have a very good memory.
Today the mailman (Mr. Mehlman) brought me a DVD containing 768 episodes of Fibber McGee and Molly. 768! And the thing cost me $4.74, including shipping and handling. Pretty cool, huh?
Slowly but surely I’m building a massive old time radio archive. Most of it’s available for free on the internet, I know, but I prefer to buy giant collections from reputable dealers. They usually have every episode still in existence, and offer the best sound quality. I also like having it all in one convenient place, and it’s always shockingly cheap.
Next on my want list: Fred Allen. Pass the beer nuts.
And speaking of stuff I really like. Have you ever used a Pilot “Dr. Grip” pen? Someone gave me two for Christmas (if you can dig it), and I resisted using them for a long time. You know, because they’re ridiculously… pudgy. But now I’m a complete convert.
Am I the only one who really loves office supplies? I’ve always been strangely fond of notebooks and pens and stuff like that. When I go to Target I always make a point of looking at the DVDs, the CDs, the books, and office supplies. Right now it’s really cool, because they have all their back to school stuff out.
Is that unusual? Somehow I suspect it is. Oh well.
Finally, according to Zagat the best fast food burger is served by… Five Guys. As you can probably guess, I’m not going to argue with their findings. I’m a long-time fan of Five Guys.
Here’s the link to the full survey. Do you have any thoughts on the results? I think In-N-Out has terrible fries, and don’t believe they should even appear on the fries list. And I’m happy to see Wendy’s receiving some respect. I don’t care if their restaurants are everywhere, their burgers are fantastic.
In place of an actual Question, please let us know what you think of the survey. Also, where did you have the best burger of your life? Make this a restaurant, please, not a cookout at your Uncle Carl’s house in 1987. The rest of us can’t really relate to Carl and all his mental problems.
And, of course, your comments on anything else are welcome, as always.
I’ll see you guys again on Sunday.
Have a great weekend!
hoomosexuals
homosexers
Not Oprah, you’ll change your mind in time. I say hoose for house and mouse for moose. I’m crazy like that. I just don’t care. I’m reckless. That’s what you’ll love about me. We have a lot in common, not caring about Canadian politics and all. Plus you aren’t a redhead. And that’ll help.
Have you ever tried those “date rape” drugs? They aren’t worth a damn. I took three last night and I couldn’t even stand up, much less do any raping. Anywhat, let’s get together sometime. We can heal this whole Canada / USA bullshit in a single night. Whaddaya think, red?
N-O I have a female cousin who’s a millwright in the mines… she moves between BC and NWT every couple of years. She’s a lesbian.
T-Storm – you’re fucking clever and quick brother. I’m giggling like a 12 year old that can see his college age female neighbor suntanning in her thong by the pool and she can’t see him because of the two way mirror on his bedroom window and he just found out mom won’t be home for an hour or so so he can take his time and do it right.. just saying… it was funny
For Fuck Sake.
I gotta try that barf-bread whatsherfuck was raving about. I’m starving.
T.Farty, I am not into their crazy talk, maybe we can have an intelligent conversation.
You guys are hilarious 😀
Not O…intelligent? Would you settle for more than a wildebeest but less than a fifth grader level?
HF, your explanation of the Canadien system of government was brilliant! In the same spirit, I think our next president in the USA ought to be Mr. Duncan Donitz.
I fondly remember Letraset – that was the good stuff. Also Chartpak and the ugly-but-functional Datak. More brand names: K+E, Pelikan, X-Acto, C-Thru Graphics, Pickett.
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A good part of the explanation comes from our Ambassador to the United States. Mr Rick Mercer.
I looked up letraset after the post (d’uh) and they seem to be doing better than ever with even more product lines. Amazing given today’s technology but I guess a place for everything.
I’d like to jump in with a Canadian defence…but like our actual defence I am a few tanks short…don’t get me started on helicopters cause we ain’t leaving the ground.
Plus, I happen to be a real life Public Servant that lives in Ottawa and there isn’t much of a defence for that either.
I am truly puzzled by the about/aboot situation though. I have never heard a Canuck pronounce the word “aboot” except when Alanis Morissette guest starred on the DeGrassi episode with Jay and Silent Bob.
p.s. Brit and Steph, please cc me on the pics you send to Jason, thanks in advance. (Example of Canadian politeness.)
Jason – you should really be nicer to our neighbours to the north, there is an awesome strip bar in Windsor named after you.
WB….um….you’ll need to change “is” to “was”….but the best part? read bullet two on the link… 😉
http://detroit.about.com/od/artsentertainment/a/windsor_strip.htm?once=true&
Holy hell hot fuzz, what in the wide world of sports is going on up there? Danny’s took over Jason’s? Fucking Obama and the weak American dollar. Please tell me the Million Dollar Saloon didn’t sell the shower to the Chinese!
I take that back, it’s Tim Horton’s fault. Worst PM ever!
I wrote a song while in the shower:
The sickest thing I ever saw
Was a lady inside a shopping mall
Her head was on fire
But no one said a word
Buy the time she figured out
What was going on
Most of her face was gone
The Asian guy with the sample plate
Had left his post to masturbate
CHORUS
Please tell me if my head’s ablaze
It could happen to all of us one of these days
Don’t let me walk around while my face melts off
For God’s sake, baby, won’t you tell me if my head’s on fire
REPEAT CHORUS 39 TIMES
There’s an awesome strip bar in Windsor called Jason?!?
We usually go fishing every spring in West Lake, Ontario. Every stikin’ person there says ‘aboot’ and drives me nuts. So I have to go to the awesome strip bar in Belleville (called The Boo) to get myself right with the world again.
What the hell is going on in here?
We’re all too busy fucking ourselves. Jason got so drunk he actually fucked someone else. Brit and Steph fucked each other as requested/ordered, Not Oprah is fucking hereself with moose antlers and I’m just plain fucking myself while eating a salad.
@ Greg, where in IL did you teach?
@Jason, T-Storm…You guys wasted?…and yes, I am happily taken 🙂
I actually haven’t drunk posted in a minute.
I’m currently at work plotting my escape.
Brittney,
Wasted? Always. But I don’t consider it a waste. I mowed last night while in the nude (except for a helmet and knee pads and house shoes with headlights on them). I challenge anyone to do that while “sober”. And I’m just poking fun when flirting on the internet. Last time I hooked up with someone online it turned out to be a 57 year old man that liked to wear his wife’s clothes, not a 19 year old confused babe and her busty roommate, like he claimed. Imagine my surprise when he got angry because I refused to “just pretend”.
how can you pretend when the smell of vicks vap-o-rub and ben gay are wafting into your nostrils while Earnest T Bass gums your cob?
Exactly, plus his tits were A-cups at best and covered in hair. He had stubble you could grate cheese on and his breath smelled of smoked meat.
so you didn’t give him your smoked meat log?
No. I dismissed him after he started insisting that I sing “Happy Birthday” to him and put it in his belly button. And he kept calling me “Sonny”. Too fucking weird.
Lol…A-cups covered in hair…sounds delightful!
Time to play Halo 3…One thing quick tho…has anyone seen that those driving under the influence commercials where the guys get pulled over and when they roll down their windows, there alcohol of choice pours out the windows? Well the guy who chose martinis–For a really long time, I completely thought that the olives that were rolling out with the vodka were fruit loops… I thought it was like he eating fruit loops to curb his alcohol munchies. My boyfriend finally pointed out one day that they were olives. Now I laugh whenever I see it.
It just came on, that’s why I brought it up. Plus we’re talking about being drunk, so I figured it would fit nicely.
Maybe they were turds?
But if your driving around in a gin filled car breathing it like you are in The Abyss then maybe you shouldn’t be driving.
Coffee then drinking, tomorrow I build the 1-room apartment nanobrewery!
LOL, turds. I will always love the word turd….and if anyone cares…Ben took a video at Phish of a song from our show in which they do trippy ‘voices’ during a song. Took me and hour and half to upload this fricking video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhPcBThknjM
Off topic butt are any of you slantfucks on foursquare?
Second question, is slantfuck better? Or fuckslant?
I think slantfuck is the adjective and fuckslant is an exlamation.
For fuck slants!
Ok, slant now sounds weird to me.
Fuckslant. No doubt.
And don’t forget “Assrabbit” – Rabbit ass just doesn’t have the same ring. Fuckslant.
Rabbit Ass is a town in KY where you go to get Rabbit Hash. Or is it the other way around?
I dunno. You say the bad word first, that’s the rule. And fuck is much worse than slant. No doubt about it.
shitbag vs. bag shit
fuckface vs. face fuck
shithead vs. head shit
Listen to me man! I’m making a lot of sense!
Rabbit Hash, isn’t their mayor a dog? My friends sister lives there, and I thought she told me that. That town makes Austin, TX seem normal.
@ Brittney I did my student teaching in the Quad Cities (East Moline), then got a job as a teacher/guidance counselor at Brownstown, a little town between Vandalia and Effingham. I was there way too long. Fortunately, St. Louis was only about a hour away, so I spent lots of time there, going to concerts, baseball games, and headshops, and just chillin’ in STL. I gotta be near a city. Got both B.S. and M. S. at WIU.
WB in OH,
I think their mayor is a chicken that plays tic-tac-toe. You can’t beat the motherfucker. He picks the middle or the top left, each time. Goes on forever.
T-Storm: five rods to the hogshead is excellent. I’m going to start figuring my mileage in parsecs per metric tonne (for our Canadian friends).
Five rods to the hogshead sounds like a sick sexual act. I don’t know how you guys do things in Canada, but you now have my attention!
@Greg…I know where those towns are, I’m 30 minutes south of the city in a little town called Peotone…I’ve also been to St. Louis. I was super excited to see Busch Stadium, because at the time the Busch logo was practically my trademark. There was a Cardinals game going on that day, so of course we had to yell Chicago related references at the people walking to the game, they weren’t too happy.
@ Brittney, The baseball games between the Cards and the Cubs were the best. I’ve heard, that now, the tickets for the games between those two are extremely expensive. Having gone to WIU, I was forced to be a Cubs fan. I had no choice. Everybody on my floor was was from the Chi-town area.
@ Brittney, each Friday night, there was a train to Chi-town for the students. Of course, it was a drunken ride to Chicago, and all for $6.00. I’d go up there, with my Chi-town friends, and spend the weekends in Chi-town, then get back on the train, Sunday afternoon, and end up in Macomb, in time for classes, Monday morning. How cool was that! God, college was so cool!
Wrigley Field was the coolest, even better than Busch Stadium, at least, in my opinion! Clark and Addison! How cool can you get!
@ Brittney, After I got my car, I’d drive to Chicago, and end up on Lake Shore Drive. We’d drive up and down, and end up at the Field Museum, and do the museum. God, I miss that city!
@ Greg, yes, we always take the train up to Chicago, the metro station is about 10 minutes from us so we always take it up there for concerts and what not. It is really fun to visit. I’ve been to Wrigley stadium and US Cellular (White Sox) but, Wrigley is better. Unfortunately Cubs aren’t doing so good this season, we’re both big Cubs fans, but sadly, I hesitantly retired my Theriot jersey into the closet this year. The cubs flag is also in the closet…I also hope Lovie gets fired soon…Goooo Bears!
Brittney, I’m out of here. Talk to you later.
Not trying to be rude, I’m just tired, and it’s time for me to go to bed! Check ya later.
I need to recalibrate my car’s speedometer so it read furlongs per fortnight.
Seriously… the US is the mightiest empire the world has ever seen, if you look at our military. But if you look at our system of measurement, we are a 13th century English village. Just saying.
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