Why can’t people sit still in a movie theater? I mentioned that we went to see the new Harry Potter last weekend, and the place was predictably crowded. And during the entire film there was just constant motion in the place: people getting up to go to the bathroom, trading seats, and apparently just walking around.
And what kind of weirdo just walks around inside a movie theater?
I admit that I don’t like long movies. But that’s because they’re almost always in bad need of editing, and therefore suck. They’re usually made by some director who had massive commercial success early in his career, and now longs for “respect.” So he starts bloating his shit up with unnecessary scenes, and crap that doesn’t move the story forward.
But even during the most self-indulgent turd of a film (think Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me) I don’t feel the need to power walk around the screening room. Ya know?
Call me a radical, but I just sit there and watch the movie. I don’t talk, I don’t shake a Skittles bag as if it’s my turn at Yahtzee, I don’t chew popcorn like it’s been very naughty and requires discipline, and I don’t call my boss to check on the “Tayback project.”
I think it’s an inability to focus, some kind of attention-deficit situation. That, and just general douchebaggery. You can never completely discount douchebaggery as an explanation for such things…
What do you think? Am I just a pain in the ass, or has theater decorum gone downhill over the past decade or so? Sweet sainted mother of Jonas Grumby!
Last weekend I added Carbonite to my laptop, and it’s been doing its initial back-up for almost a week now. There’s 51 gigs of stuff on that computer, almost all of it music. And I think it only backs-up three or four gigs per day.
So there’s a major backlog. Like in my liver.
But I’ll certainly feel better once all that stuff is protected. If I lost those mp3 files (about 15,000 of them), I’d probably just roll into a ball and start sucking my thumb.
Do you back-up your computer? I was using an external hard drive for my PC, but wasn’t very conscientious about copying things over. Eventually it just turned into a gigantic Phil Hendrie Show archive.
So now I have Carbonite on both computers, and they’ve got me ensnared in a two-headed auto-renew cycle that will never end. Good job, guys!
Believe it or not, I’m going to play golf this afternoon. The younger Secret wants me to take him while his mother and brother are out of town, and I’m gonna do it.
Should be interesting. Because I am to golf what Stephen Hawking is to… golf.
Are any of you familiar with a so-called band called Tinted Windows? I didn’t know anything about them, until about fifteen minutes ago.
Apparently they’re a “super-group” featuring Taylor Hanson(!) from Hanson, James Iha from Smashing Pumpkins, Adam Schlesinger(!!) from Fountains of Wayne, and freakin’ Bun E. Carlos(!!!) from Cheap Trick.
James Iha doesn’t get any exclamation marks; I can’t just be handing them out all willy-nilly.
But have you heard the album? On paper it seems like a can’t-miss. How does it actually sound?
And what’s the greatest super-group of all-time? Has there ever been one that could be called great? I’m drawing a blank here. The Traveling Wilburys? Nah.
I’ll leave you now with a question from the Stealing Clive Bull‘s Topics desk. It’s a fairly wide-open subject, but it translated into interesting radio and I’m hopeful it’ll do the same here.
Please use the comments link to tell us your stories about being lost. Have you ever taken a wrong turn somewhere and ended up in a… situation? Or have you somehow found yourself in Deliverance territory, not having any idea how to get out?
Tell us about it, won’t you? Use the handy-dandy commenting tool below.
And I’ll see you guys next time. Possibly tomorrow, with something quick and fun.
See ya then, I hope.
I don’t get lost. I may get displaced for a while in a new area, but I don’t get lost. I go exploring to get to know the lay of the land. I point myself down some road and start driving. I prefer backroads, I think some of my passengers have been lost though since they are main road people usually, had one girl tell me if it wasn’t for the fact she knew me, she’d be worried I was taking her to an early demise as she had no idea where she was, how we got there, or how to get back.
@ Ryan
Temple of the Dog was not a supergroup, it was a two song project that developed into a one album tribute to the late Andrew Wood. Few had ever heard of Soundgarden or Mother Love Bone in 1990 (and Pearl Jam was still a fetus.) The members only became famous after the fact. Perhaps they are a Post-Supergroup?
A Perfect Circle was kind of a revolving member underground-supergroup. Most of the members are famous in certain circles but none of them are big mainstream stars. They certainly did not have “one big hit and then fell apart”, both albums of original material are masterpieces from front to back. I call them great but I’m of a younger musical generation that a lot of you here. I’d love to see them do more as long as it doesn’t interfere with Tool.
Chickenfoot has promise. I’ve only heard the first single though.
Isn’t Led Zeppelin sort of a supergroup? Jimmy Page was already famous. They are truly great.
Jeff/Amy – Thanks for the tip and link on Tinted Windows, sounds like a must listen. Will be adding that to my library tonight.
Taiwan On- It’s like I can’t have a fucking opinion in your eyes, i.e. music I don’t like, and the minorities in the theater. I didn’t say all rednecks were OK, as I left the mountains of NC to get away from that culture. Just mentioned a story about being lost. I won’t be back here, just so you can be pleased with the site. God forbid Jeff lose you as a reader. I’ve been here since 2000 and never encountered a douchebag such as yourself with my statements alone. You think I’m a dickhead? Your fucking blog sucks ass. Please come to Florida so I can kick your fucking ass. And learn how to spell, short bus. I have to live with these people. You don’t. Don’t bother replying, I won’t be back here to read it. Tammie, I will come visit you when I visit Dunbar again. Just don’t voice your opinions here. You need to please Taiwan On at all costs. Bye, everyone, and suck my dick, Taiwan, you piece of shit. Enjoy living somewhere else. I hope you die.
Does partying and going the wrong way count?
Me and my buddy (the trombone player) were headed to Edmonton, Alberta, Canada from Las Vegas. A straight shot north and a drive we’d made many, many times together. A long drive. We got our first twelve pack somewhere in Idaho. Didn’t want to start too soon. (I’ll stop here to say I was 25 then).
We had to keep going to make the border and customs for our work permits, before the office closed, or we’d have to stay in Nanton…that’s another story of how I even know Nanton exists. Maybe it was Helena where we decided to get a couple more twelvers, because it would be night soon, things would be closed and we hadn’t exchanged our money to Canadian yet, which makes a little hassle we didn’t care for at the time. We still had a ways to go. I have always been suprised they let us cross in and continue that night. We headed north as always, ‘just a bookin’ it’ and decided we should stop and empty out the trash. Well…we did that and something happened…..about an hour and a half later we saw a sign that said…”WELCOME TO BRITISH COLUMBIA” We proceeded to laugh our asses off. Hysterical laughter. (There was more than just beer involved here…OK?!?).
Now…we weren’t technicaly lost. We knew where we were. We had driven an hour and a half west instead of north. A simple mistake you can make at night don’t you think? We really weren’t that messed up. Honest….we’re pros at pacing. Just went the wrong way in the middle of nowhere.
Not short but sweet…we still laugh like loons about it and that was about 30 years ago.
I’m lost right now. I have no idea where I am or why I’m covered in Vaseline.
I got turned around in Houston one time. Took me hours to get back to where I wanted to go. And I swear to God, if I’d come up on one more toll both I was going to have to give them my watch.
What is a “super group”? Of all the groups mentioned I don’t think I’ve heard of a single one.
Try this next time someone calls you out on something (cutting in line, walking around in the theator, getting lost, etc): Point at your chest while yelling, “I pay my taxes! I pay my taxes!” Betcha they won’t know how to respond.
@ Kevindust – I picked up the CD at Guitar Center last week.
Check this out if haven’t heard it yet. A little bit Halenish/ Red Hot Chili Peppers.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_EMFYrZVrw
@ Jason – What happened to the Vicks Bikerchick left?
On the iPod Now – “Down the drain” – Chicken Foot
That was White Trash Barbie. I think I might have smeared the Vicks on Ritz crackers and ate it.
I need to mow the lawn but I feel too hungover. Maybe I’ll muster the will before it gets dark.
@ NDfaninAZ,
The biggest chain of theaters up here has different types of theaters based on the amenities offered. Their latest thing is VIP theaters which sever alcohol, have in-theater servers (before the show), luxurious seating, etc. You pay more, but it’s worth it.
They’ll have a different name down where you are, but they must have them.
Once I got lost on some back roads in god-knows-where FL, and I took a wrong turn and was on the entrance road to the maximum security prison at Starke (home of ‘”Old Sparky”). Needless to say, I decided to take a trhee-point turn immediately, and saw a dead dog on the side of the road while doing so. I was sorta creeped out by the whole situation then, and can still remember this short passage of time quite clearly today.
Is Supertramp a super group? Superchunk? I agree with the earlier poster in that the supergroup Asia was an unfortunate occurrence in musical history. A bunch of talented guys involved in an enormous crap-fest. Don’t mess around with these supergroups, however — they have a very powerful union.
@ Jason – Yup my memory is lost. But It could have been Bikerchick too!
@ Tyrosine
There are 2 theatre chains in Phoenix: AMC and Harkins. As far as I know, neither operate theatres that serve alcohol.
Harkins does have a few “premium” screens, but none of the amenities you mention.
/goes back to the Google for some theatre research
@ Brynhildr – This ones especially for you…Makes me wanna go out and by some CaboWabo.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKkxxLEBwBo
Seriously, I dont know how @ NdfaninAZ does it – she can ignore almost anyone in a movie theatre.
Except crying babies. They got her at that movie about the little girl who sues her parents. No one cried in the theatre (and it was a cry-worthy movie!) because some stupid bizatch had to have her snatchfruit in there with her, crying, during the damn movie.
Shut yer damn kids up please!
Queens of the Stone Age
Lost, drunk off my ass near Onancock, VA about 18 months ago. It was dark, I had no sense of north or south, I was afraid I was gonna drive straight into the Chesapeak.
Lost, drunk off my ass after visiting the Dogfish Head brewpub in Rehoboth Beach, DE. Ran a stop sign and drove into a field. If the field hadn’t been there I’d have driven into the Atlantic Ocean.
Lost, drunk off my ass after the Sternwheel festival in Marietta, OH wandered into a backyard full of rednecks with my friend Ryan (http://bit.ly/EaK91) and ended up gettin’ into a redneck fight. Good thing Ryan knew karate.
Lost, drunk off my ass in Oklahoma city in February or January and couldn’t find my car because I couldn’t remember where I put it. I eventually found it, I was a block off for like 1 hour.
Lost, drunk off my ass in St. Louis after a drive by truckers concert. I couldn’t find my car. I reported it stolen, and they found it 30 days later in the police impound lot, where it had been since I park it in a bank drive thru.
Man, I do hate crying babies. Probably explains why I never produced any of my own…
@Brienbear – the movie was “My Sister’s Keeper”
Why in the hell would someone bring toddlers to a movie like that?!
Oh, and it’s crotchfruit, Brien – not snatchfruit…LOL. Although snatchfruit is pretty funny too.
@ t-storm
I’m sensing a pattern here 😉
@ NDfaninAZ,
Some parts of the U.S. have somewhat “conservative” views on alcohol (Utah for example) so I can see that being a factor, but the premium seating is a no-brainer. Any major (or even minor) city should have them….weird. I wish you luck because as a long time movie buff I can assure you the luxury theaters are an experience.
Like Mr. Wolf said to Jules: “Move out of the sticks” 🙂
I avoid going to movie theaters unless I’m forced into it. I’d much rather wait a couple of months and watch it in the privacy of my own home on my own big screen TV. No annoyances and I’m not forced to wear pants.
As for being lost I can only recall one time where I was really lost. I had been out partying the night before and the last thing I remember was leaving the club with a girl, messing around with her in the back of some unidentified car and then being in her house. I woke up the next day to an empty house and I had absolutely no clue where I was. I didn’t even know which city I was in. I left the house and just started walking hoping I’d recognize something. I finally went inside a 7-11 and asked the clerk where the hell I was. It was a damned odd feeling.
“I don’t chew popcorn like it’s been very naughty and requires discipline” LOL…Seriously what’s is the deal there…everytime I go to the movies even if I’m eating popcorn myself EVERYONE around me is sooo loud..WTF? Oh and my very favorite thing is when you can hear people around you spitting out the kernels WTF? Do these people have No manners??? So gross.
Well that concludes my movie rant….
I’ve never been really lost…I learned at a young age to read a map and a compass…and that I should always have one “just in case”
Adam’s story reminded me of something.
Lost, before I drank, freshman in college (Go Bearcats) and me and my best friend were trying to get to Wal-Mart off of I-71. Somehow driving north on I-71 we ended up in Kentucky. To this day we have no idea what we did, but oh the story.
Not lost, we drove to Kinnickinnick and Knockemstiff one night on a larf.
Did anyone else’s sphincter tighten when AWG was called a dickhead?
@ Tyrosine – I’ve never thought of Phoenix as being “in the sticks”, but I’m seriously questioning this now with the knowledge that some town in Kansas (KANSAS!) has a theatre like this and we don’t:
http://www.amctheatres.com/theatres/domestic/studio30/cinemasuites.html
This is the closest we have:
http://www.harkinstheatres.com/CineCapri.aspx
@ t-storm – total sphicter clenching with that one!
Crap – my comment is awaiting moderation because I put two links in it.
t-storm — OMG I just snorted diet Coke through my nose! There’s really a place called Onancock, VA? What kind of devious bastard named that town?!? (Onan = son of Judah from the Bible; spiller of his “seed”; the name from which onanism — masturbation — is derived.)
@ NDfaninAZ – I see folks bring toddlers in movies at gawd awful hours and expect them to be quiet and the movie is “R” rated. I always end up biting my tongue from keeping from saying something to them about their parenting skills. What a bunch of douche bags.
tstorm – I saw it coming when Tiawan On unleashed the hounds. Tried to step in and let cooler heads prevail but you know some people aren’t gonna let a challenge go unanswered.
@Brynhildr
I wish I made that up. The eastern shore of VA is chock full of weird names. Accomack, Onancock, Chesconessex, Justisville, Assawoman, Temperanceville, Horsey, Nasswadox, Stumptown, and I could go on.
I had no idea about Onan, though. Too funny. I did masturbate a lot there, though.
NDfan — “crotchfruit” is the kinder, gentler form of “snatchfruit”, which tends to denote utter disdain for that part of the female anatomy.
Ladies and gentlemen I am proud and Honoured that my Douchebaggery phrase has caught on! No applause please just e-mail the nobel prize to my house!
Glad Jason’s not here, all this talk about fruit and sex will have him in rare form.
@ Pagan – Here, Here, I lift my glass of golden elixir in your honor. Cheers!!!
I have to agree with Tyrosine! These VIP lounges Rock! No one under 18! Larger Seats! You get to reserve the seat of your choice! The head of the person in front of you is below your sightline! Premium Sound! No Commercials just Previews! Bar in the Lobby! & beer wine & snacks delivered to your seat! Sort of like a W.V. Rest stop! Oh wait! your gubberment shut them all down today to save money!
@ Shiny Rod,
A lot of theaters have begun offering special hours or showings for parents with infants and toddlers, so that should take the pressure off. Plus they turn the volume down a bit so the teeth shattering dolby doesn’t cause the kid’s heads to explode.
@ndfaninaz I think I like snatchfruit better. Then again I just like the word “snatch”. It cracks me up. Although “va-jay-jay” is the BESTEST WORD EVAR! for that part of the anatomy!
Well, got an IPSec conference to attend @ 7, got to drive to NC State for the meeting. Chat later, chow.
@Brynhildr and T-Storm,
I would remind you both of Dildo, Newfoundland:
http://www.virtual-tours-newfoundland.ca/Dildo/dildo.html
For me the best part of that web page is imagining it being read by someone with a Newfie accent.
t-storm — I’m still pretty juvenile when it comes to names like that. I used to giggle every time I had to contact the Manitowoc Company’s CEO and CFO, who at the time were two men named Growcock and Wood, respectively.
I wish Mr. Growcock would move to Dildo.
I lived in Onancock briefly, but Assawoman would have been awesome. Things were pretty tight there.
Oops, I guess I made Angry White Guy, um, angry.
Anyway, I should not have made that comment. It was late, I was into the JWB, and racist comments just get under my skin.
@AWG – I apologize. Next time I am in Florida, I will look you up so you can kick my ass. I deserve a good ass-kicking. For numerous reasons. Please come back to the WVSR. Some of your comments were actually quite enjoyable.
Woo-hoo, 90th!
I generally can’t stand movie theaters for exactly the reasons Jeff gave. OTOH, it does depend on the film, the specific theater, and on the time and day. My favorite place is still the Arlington Cinema ‘n’ Draft house, where you can get a pizza and a pitcher of beer served to you, to ingest while watching the movie. They show second-run stuff, so it’s only $4 admission. Saw the South Park movie there, and it was the perfect environment. And since this is Virginia, you can actually smoke (!) in the theater – until December, anyway.
Computer backups? I find that they are much more likely to happen if they’re automated. After years of procrastinating I finally built a FreeNAS a few months ago. Works like a champ and boots from a USB stick, and all the software is open source. Now all I have to do is make sure the laptop is on at 9pm every night.
I’ve blocked all memory of supergroups. All that remains is a vague recollection of suckage. After actually reading the comments, I realize that’s probably due to the existence of Asia.
The best I can do for getting lost was the time I took a wrong turn and ended up deep in the ‘hood in Philly one fine evening. Wow, “Checks Cashed” has a branch here! ..didn’t realize they were such a big chain. The experience was more irritating than frightening.
And I’ll have a bowl (not a cup) of soup-of-the-day.
Getting lost: I was living in southern Illinois, and got an invite from a friend in Chicago to visit for the weekend. This was before cellphones. A buddy and I drove the I-55 to Chicago, and ended up in a somewhat scary neighborhood in the middle of Chicago. We found the street, and the building number, but our friend never answered the buzzer. We didn’t know what to do, and we were a little apprehensive of the neighborhood, so we tucked in our tails, and drove all the way back to sourthern Illinois. Got home about 6 in the morning. It was like a 5 hour trip each way. Called him when we got back, and he said, “You were one building off.” No, we didn’t go back. In that neighborhood, we were just glad to leave alive.
There’s a Monico Theater here in Huntsville, Alabamie. I don’t know that it gets a lot more back woods than that. But they have all kinds of neat shit. They have free movies for children a couple of days a week (daytime). And they have an adult only thing. You get booze and whores devours. And a very nice seat without all of the nonsense. The wife just told me this morning that they have special shows for mothers. They leave the lights up a bit and you can go in there and let your “snatchfruit” (lovely word by the way) suck at the teet without a second thought.
I wasn’t taken back by AWG’s orginal comment. I’m a big fan of stereotypes. The stereotype that applies to me is that the Irish are drunks. Happens to be true in my case. So what? I’m sick and fucking tired of everyone being “offended” by this or that. Don’t be a such a blubbering vagina. If you’re Irish and you’re not a drunk, good for you, pussy. And anyone who gets offended needs to understand that it’s a natural part of life. Find the blubbering vagina who told you that life is fair and that you’re entitled to live without having your vagina-friendly feelings hurt and slap them in the goddamn face – because they did you a great disservice.
Movie theaters…yea the walking around is a pain but when people put thier dirty nasty stinking feet on your chair, yuk!! Not just on the back of the chair where they are constantly pushing on you, but when they take thier shoes off and put it on the side of the chair so the feet are right in your face.
What the hell is wrong with prople? And taking your shoes off in a public place that’s not a beach or pool? Seriously! Ever heard of diseases?
Yes I am from WV, and yes we do wear shoes, most of the time!
WVBumblebee…I’m thinking a Bic lighter and a good ‘ol fashion hot foot would fix that!
WVBumblebee,
WTF? Really? People take their shoes off and put their nasty feet on the armrest next to you? Never. That’s never happened to me. It would only happen once. And if it were a man, with his corn chip toenails, he’d be in a wheelchair. I don’t think that men should EVER show their feet. I don’t even let my daughters see my feet. Male feet are a thing of shame (although I do take care of mine) it’s the same thing as waving your penis around at a party as far as I’m concerned.
Good Lord. I find what you said hard to believe. Naked feet in public. I don’t know what to say. But I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. I have a pregnant wife. She likes cookie cakes. So I get her one about once a week. She also likes them to have lots of frosting. So I used to make shit up, such as this: “Congratulations William. We all love you!” But the cookie girl was on to me after a while and she agreed to make me a “polka dotted” cake from that point forward.
Where was I?
Oh yes, the mall. I walk into the mall and I see all these girls wearing the same kind of jeans and the same kinds of shirts, and their navels are pierced. The jeans they choose would make the best ass look like a trampoline. So I don’t get it. And the shirts they wear are too high. Most of them are “chubby” and the end effect is they look like a can of biscuits that’s busted open.
Don’t get me wrong, I like girls with curves. But they seem to want to go with the absurd just because it’s in fashion.
A man’s feet should never be seen. I think that’s what I’m getting at. However, I’m not sure if I had a point. I’m drunk.
Here’s a quirky album recorded by a group of established musicians: Hindu Love Gods. I think the result was super, so I declare them a Super Group.
I guess Warren Zevon (RIP Good Sir) was recording an album and the boys from R.E.M. (minus Michael Stipe) were playing on his album. The story I heard was that they ripped through a bunch of songs just for fun, and ended up releasing them as Hindu Love Gods.
They covered Robert Johnson, Georgia Satellites and some just down right cool songs. I’d have to go check, but I believe “Wang Dang Doodle” and “Vigilante Man” are on it.
My personal fave off this album is Prince’s “Raspberry Beret”. Warren and the boys really nailed it.
I just listened to a few sample songs from Tinted Windows. I like it. They remind me of The Knack, and that is a high compliment for a Pop Rock band playing simple tunes with good hooks.
Ok…the second time through…the pumpkin guy’s guitar sound is coming across as annoying. He’s really good, but I feel the urge to “bass up” his amp. Sounds too tinny.
I’ll preview it at Amazon, and probably buy it. Depends on prevalent the pumpkin guy’s guitar is on the songs.
DTO & Jason
I am a “little” outspoken so I have been know, last week actually, to turn around and make a comment or two. They are usually moved. However I did have one little smart ass girl tell me to “turn your ass around old lady and shut the f@*&! up”.
Instead of starting a scene I grabbbed the closest usher and she and her friends were promptly removed and NOT given a refund!!
I’d like to know how they were raised and where were thier parents. Oh an dyes Jason, they were he girls with the low rise jeans and short shirts!
Jason, have you ever had a pedicure!! They aren’t just for women anymore. I ‘m a licensed nail tech and we have more and more men comming in. But man or woman, if you have ugly feet, COVER THEM UP!!
WVBumblebee,
This is just between us, right? I’ve had a pedicure as well as a manicure. I don’t do massages, however. I’m somewhat modest in real life. I don’t want a stranger (even if it’s a busty brunnette) rubbing on me before I’ve had the chance to buy her some food and booze.
I think I’m a little too modest. I grew up around my Great Grandmother and she thought the less skin the better. So for a long time I only wore long sleeves. And even now I only own one pair of shorts. I’m working on it. I work out and things of that nature. But you’ll never see me in Speedos or shirtless in public. Come on.