Once again I went without the alarm today, ’cause I was dragging massive ass, and slept until 2:30 pm. Crazy. As I type this it’s 5:30 and I’ve had almost a pot of coffee, and feel like I’m about ready for lunch. Weird shit, man.
Tomorrow I will start another sixty hours in six days, not counting the 45 minute commute that’ll happen twelve times. Sometimes I second-guess our decision to stay here, after I was laid-off, and not move to North Carolina. It’s water over the bridge at this point, but I’m guilty of a little second-guessing on occasion.
I could do some additional whining about the situation with my book agent, but I’ll spare you guys. I don’t want to turn into some moaning old man, just bitching and bitching about everything. …Could I get some more crackers for my soup, goddammit?
I was just at Jason Headley‘s site, and he’s posted a trailer for the short film he wrote and directed. You should check it out; it looks fantastic. Can’t wait to see the whole thing. I have no doubt it’ll be great, ’cause Jason is one talented dude.
A friend in Dunbar sent me this note today, under the heading Disproportionate Response:
I was walking on the railroad tracks the other day, and had a flashback.
Remember the time you were sick and confined to your room, and a bunch of us were standing on the tracks calling you all sorts of unmanly names (because obviously, a real man wouldn’t let something like scarlet fever keep him bed-ridden).
And at some point, you flung open the window with a lit bottle rocket pointed at us. The thing exited the Pepsi bottle before anyone could dive for cover, sizzlin’ at about 500 mph, and nailed me right in the foot.
Heh. Yes, I do remember that. And I also recall that the name-calling came to an abrupt end, the moment I began launching artillery from my bedroom window. It’s one of those life lessons that stick with you.
Are you hearing me, Mr. and Mrs. Half-Shirt?
My parents are coming to our house for Thanksgiving, and then they’ll head south for the winter. I haven’t seen them in a year, or so. I need to make more of an effort…
Every year, for the past few, my folks have spent Christmas in Florida, and I don’t think I’d care for it. In fact, I know I wouldn’t.
Our four years in southern California were extra-strange during the holidays. We have home movies that show a Christmas tree in the living room, the front door standing wide open, the sun blazing hot, and everybody in shorts and flip-flops. Man, that’s just weird.
I remember walking to an outdoor cafe between Christmas and New Years, with some co-workers, and it must’ve been 95 degrees out. One of them, a relentless SoCal cheerleader, was going on and on about how great it is to live in “paradise.”
My crack was awash with perspiration, and I was so homesick for the east coast, I could almost cry. I don’t mind heat when it’s supposed to be hot (a bald-faced lie), but at Christmastime… it was completely foreign and depressing.
And that leads to my Question of the Day. Have you ever spent the holidays in an unusual location? How’d it go? Did it bother you? Since we’ve had kids we’ve refused to travel at Christmas. We think it’s important that they spend the holiday at home. Plus, it’s a damn good excuse….
Also, what are your plans for Thanksgiving? Anything out of the ordinary? Tell us about it in the comments.
And I’m going to have lunch now, and maybe a light dinner at midnight.
See you guys again on WTF Friday.
Have a great evening, my friends.
Good Evening Surf Reporters…
First???
Amazing.
AAAAH!!
Got my by a minute.
Would have been, if I hadn’t read the update. Top 5 if good enough.
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Thinking about the holidays starts putting me in a depressed funk. All the prep work, dragging shit down outta the attic that seemingly I just put away….
I thought about it and believe I’ve never spent a Thanksgiving or Christmas anywhere but home.
Also have to agree about Christmas being spent in tropical temps. That shit just ain’t right.
I’ve always spent Christmas where it snows like its supposed to for Christmas. Now, I’m not a big fan of snow, but your post certainly has me thinking that it is the way it should be.
As for your work griping, let it out. But I have a question for you, I thought you where management, what kind of outfit do you work at that management is hourly?
I had a hard time with it when I started, but my company keeps track of everybody’s time, except directors and above. I’d been on a straight salary since the 1980s, and it felt insulting that I was now being monitored. But it’s working to my benefit at the moment. It seemed weird on day one, but it’s a godsend right now.
I spent a whole year of holidays in Iraq, and yes, it bothered me. But, whatever…
We are going to my wife’s parent’s house in Indiana for Thanksgiving. And Christmas now that I think of it. I am totally cool with that. They are the greatest, and her dad always lets me drive his 56 Chevy around!
Yeah i feel ya’. I spent my20th birthday in a mud hut in the shadow of a mountain i Afghaniland.
War should only be fought between important dates.
Can’t quite get into the holidays as my son is in Afghaniland ’til spring (UMSC 1/8). But oh well, counting the days ’til he’s home.
Only once have I spent the actual 25th in an “unusual” location; that was St. Louis, for work. It was a little depressing because it was for work, but the weather was about what I consider normal. I’ve been strange places during the season lots of times. Hawaii was just wrongly tropical, like Jeff’s description of California. The Netherlands was really nice and a lot of fun, in spite of the ball-shriveling cold. And back in the day, I would *request* to work Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s – that 2.5-time overtime is tough to pass up when you’re 22 and hungry.
Thanksgiving is going to be different, in that I have no plans. For the past several years I’ve hosted a big dinner featuring deep-fried turkey, but that’s not going to happen this year, for a variety of reasons.
Toodles.
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Home in marietta for turkey day. Pretty much the same every year except for one year in St. Louis where I hosted for friends that had no families, or couldn’t get to them.
Christmas in Albany, NY a few years ago, not that weird, but was one of the first away from my family. I really liked Albany.
Not sure about Christmas this year.
The bottle rocket story is hilarious. I have a similar story involving my dick ex-roommates, a rubber band, and a can of grape juice.
I just booked a flight to Denver for a few days in early December. Woooo!
Albany’s nice, I used to live there. That was during the period when I was whoring for the “holiday OT”.
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“I have a similar story involving my dick ex-roommates, a rubber band, and a can of grape juice”
Please tell me you didn’t forget a comma before the word ex-roommates.
I was thinking your ex-roommates’ dick, but whatever.
Hmmm let’s see……..Thanksgiving plans include seeing a bunch of people I don’t want to see and a fifth of Tanqueray and his good friend tonic. Christmas plans include seeing a bunch of people I don’t want to see and a fifth of Tanqueray and his good friend tonic. I do plan on getting my baby girl a big, plastic, eye sore, climb-y fuckamajig to play on in the house. Gotta wear them chilluns out in the evening. Other then that, food and booze. I might try out this kick ass thing I found on a website that turns a bottle of juice into 14% booze in 48 hours. Its only 10 goddamn dollars!! I can’t lose!
During prohibition there was a product sold which was basically a bag of fruit.
The warning label was basically – Whatever you do don’t add water, yeast, and sugar to this product and leave it in a warm place.
I once had a gallon jug of Hi-C ferment into what smelled like whiskey. When I went to take the cap off it nearly took my eye out and hit the ceiling.
How about sharing the link to that device? I would be willing to part with 10 bucks to try it out.
http://www.thinkgeek.com/caffeine/wacky-edibles/e683/
Thanks Chuck. I wasn’t sure if it was cool to put links on here. But now I know, “And knowing if half the battle” GI JOOOOOOOOOOEEEEEE!!!!!! Sorry, had to do it.
The only time I miss Dunbar is at Christmas!! I miss the snow, but again, only at christmas!!
Living in NC for 16 years and SC for 6 years we at least had cold weather and occasionally snow sometime during the winter.
However last Christmas was our first in New Orleans and man talk about STRANGE!! We always put up a real tree, always, I guess it comes from where we used to sell trees on our extra lot up Roxalana Rd when I was a kid. So here we go, temps in the 80’s, wearing shorts & Tshirts, flip flops, to buy a tree. We finally found one lot that had trees from NC, so that had to be where we bought our tree. But still, decorating for Christmas in 80 degree temps, weird.
I spent one Christmas in an empty army lodgin hotel, on the way back from leave going to Afghanistan. It was snowy and all that, but it was a strange place. I had 6 different kinds of jet lag, hardly any money, and no other human in sight. I walked around that Air base for 2 hours and didn’t see a car in motion or any human. I felt LIke I was the last human on Earth. It was surreal.
I had a Snickers bar for Christmas dinner. I non of the dining facilities wer open. I had no real cahs, so I had to empty every pocket and scour the building for a nickel so that I could buy something out of the vending machine. I was looking at how many ounces items in my price range were so that I could get the most food for my money. I haden’t eaten for 12 hours and wouldn’t end up eating for ahotn 18 or so after that.
Worst Christmas ever…unless you hate Jesus.
Whe I read “My crack was awash with perspiration” I almost spewed forth the beer that now courses through my veins.
Spent Christmas in Florida one year – weird. A couple of years ago, spent it in NYC – no presents, no tree (except of the Rock Center variety), and it was weird too, but in a good ‘oh hey this is kind of fun’ way. But the best ones are the snowy ones – which makes me ‘homesick’ for CT, because there at least there’d be a fighting chance of snow on the big day.
in NC? Not so much. Somehow, it matters.
A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving tonite at 8 on ABC.
Everyone send me good vibes. I’m trying to work my way up the Generals staff. Right now I’m somewhere down below the old man balls, in the taint area. I’m trying to get up to the fleshy nugget right under the head.
God speed brother.
I’ve only spent one Christmas away from home but it was in Vail Colorado so I don’t think I’ll get much sympathy, nor would I expect it, especially after reading a couple of you guys spending yours overseas, which is very much appreciated, by the way. I flew to San Jose on the 19th of December to meet a buddy and we drove back to Ohio. We made quite the road trip out of it and just so happened to be trudging through the Rockies Christmas eve. Decided Vail sounded as good as any place to stop. Spent Christmas day skiing.
That sounds fantastic – I bet the slopes were, um, not crowded. I imagine it would be like being on a plane during the Super Bowl game, which is about the only time you’ll find empty seats nowadays.
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I don’t know about Vail, but I remember growing up in WV they always let you ski for free on Christmas day. I guess that worked out pretty good for them because now it’s trendy to spend the holidays at a ski resort and they charge a pretty steep amount for the Christmas Day ski package. Total bullshit.
It was a great time! It wasn’t crowded chill but it definitely wasn’t free Dave. Early 90’s the lift ticket was 50 bucks I think, what suprised me was the $110 bucks for a room at a pissy little Days Inn, luckily my buddy had a GE expense account for that.
We spent Christmas in FL twice when our children were younger and I didn’t care for it either. One year we couldn’t find a restaurant to have Christmas dinner in – none of the good ones were open – so we had to eat at Howard Johnson’s motel and the other time, we ate at a Japanese steak house, which I would usually love, but not for Christmas dinner.
I’ve spent a Christmas in Brazil to visit a former exchange student that lived with us in high school. It was a fantastic trip but definitely did not feel like Christmas. I also spent one in Iraq and honestly it was just another day as we had no days off regardless. Brazil, Iraq….it’s all the same since it’s not home. And this year I scheduled a trip to Africa and while it will be awesome, it will feel like 2 years in between Christmases. I think I’m done traveling during the holidays after this trip
Okinawa circa early 60’s, say the least, the temps were in the 70’s and the Okinawan house maid brought me a confection fish about the size of a dinner plate. We had a silver aluminum Christmas tree and dad played Johnny Mathis on our Curtis Mathes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zam93WZnrfg&feature=related
I thought the water went under the bridge and over the dam.
2 years ago we drove to FL (from St. Louis) on Christmas Day. The kids were 4 and 6 months at the time. The only place open to eat dinner was Waffle House. The place was packed, but the waitresses were so nice and made it a fun dinner.
This year we’ll be going again, but flying, and leaving on the 23rd. I don’t like being away from home on Christmas Day, but we were guilted into going when we’re are. Santa is coming early, and hopefully that won’t ruin the 6 year old on believing in him.
I don’t like being able to wear shorts on Christmas. I love the weather in FL during the winter, but it’s just not right on Christmas day.
This thanksgiving I will be drinking whiskey, eating pizza, watching football, and cutting down some dead trees. Maybe in that order to make things interesting. In no way will I eat turkey (blech!) or see family (double blech!). The ex wife has the kid, so I am free to be me. It will be a glorious day.
After having been a Catholic church choir director for 25 years, and having my job “eliminated” by a pissy little priest, I knew that from now on, I could spend my Christmases on some warm beach, squeezing sand between my toes, and not worrying about what happened at Midnight Mass. I haven’t done that yet, but I’m sure as hell thinking about it. No, I’m not bitter.
We had some turds get up and leave in the middle of the Hallelujah Chorus during midnight mass one year. Some of the other choir members were a little shocked and hesitated a second but we carried on. Some people… I tell ya. I could sing all the tenor parts but decided to sing Bass so the ladeez would all know I have big balls.
We have an inch of snow right now and more on the way. It’s coming!!!!
In WV, we’re supposed to have temps in the 50’s and 60’s until next week. Then starting on Monday, it goes downhill right through Thanksgiving, including some possible snow. Definitely snow at the ski resorts. Make your reservations at Snowshoe.
I’ve hunted in that area. Maybe this year I’ll ski it.
My first cuppa too tree holidays after I left home were weird. But nothing too bad. I have to work until 8 PM on turkey day, and my wife is travelling to her family’s place, so I’m just gonna get drunk and have some Taco Bell.
One year we were leaving midnight mass and it had started to snow (for the first time that season) during mass, Big fat flakes lazily floating down. Everything was covered in a nice thick layer and it turned what was probably going to be a green Christmas in to a White one. Fond memory… sigh.
I’ve never been away for Christmas – we’ve always been at someone in one of the family’s homes. We seem to be the default location now. I like being the host so it’s cool.
Shit – sorry guys. The topic was thanksgiving not Christmas.
My bad.
I got screwed up because my thanksgiving was back in October.
Wait. I apologize for nothing.
Don’t worry. It’s all about holiday feelings, and they run from Thanksgiving through New years. Hope everybody has some good times and memories from now until Jan 1st.
Ok back to Christmas… I volunteered in Emerg for about 3 years several years ago. I always offered to take the Christmas shift but there was a waiting list. It seems the older volunteers laid claim to the day; I guess sacrificing time on such a meaningful day meant volunteering was that much more meaningful.
We wore blue vests at the hospital so I have the skills and experience required to be a Walmart greeter if things take a turn for the worse financially.
Well, a belated Merry Christmas! Hope things go better this year!
Spent Thanksgiving in a county jail 20+ years back. Processed turkey and movies on the in-cell TV. These days I try to work every holiday I can. Especially Christmas, that being an extra special payday. The wife voluteers to work the day for any nurse with kids, too. Ours are all up and gone now, and if we wanted something bad enough to get it for each other for a present we’d already own it. So what’s the point? See the kids and grandkids a day or so before the actual day, then go to work like any other day. I spent a bunch of holidays and every birthday from 18 to 21 on one militery post or another, back in an earlier life.
military- where’s the “edit” button
I just saw this image and couldn’t believe it.
If she’d done something about those split-ends in 1966, she might not be bald today. Or something.
Sorry, don’t recognize her. Somebody famous, I presume?
Grace Slick
omg!!! omg!!! omg!!!
She needs to find the right mushrooms to eat!
Keep in mind she is 71, has had health problems, ingested a reckless amount of recreational drugs back in the day, and was a serious hard drinker for three or four decades (sober now, apparently). I don’t think any of the famous rock and rollers who survived the 60s look particularly, er, rested. Mick Jagger, to name an obvious one (I’d say David Crosby, but he was never that attractive to begin with). That’s the price of hard living.
71? Woah. I never would have guessed that that was Grace SLick.
” …Could I get some more crackers for my soup, goddammit? I’ve never heard this expression before. I have hear ” You want some cheese with that wine?”
edit…..
I once spent Christmas in Louisiana and it was the suckiest holiday ever. I was outprocessing from the military and was going to use all my leave so I could make it home for Christmas. Then a buddy of mine had his wife leave him so I stayed with him through the holidays. Spent Christmas eve getting drunk, but not in a fun way. Mainly listened to my buddy cry all night, then pass out. We were both hung over on Christmas, and also not in a good way. We had dinner at Denny’s and he puked all over the bathroom. Worst. Holiday. Ever.
Actually, the Thanksgiving right before that was one of the best I can remember. Everyone on the base went home, but about 5 of us stuck around and pretty much had the place to ourselves. We had a great time watching MST3K and the 30-hour Star trek marathon, drinking beer, and smoking cigars. I also ate approximately 12 pounds of bean dip and chips. No turkey for us that year!
I went to Key West over Thanksgiving one time. We had the bight idea that since it was a holiday we’d go with no hotel reservations as who would be there anyway, right? Wrong. It was a zoo with every nationality from all over the world there. It took us a full day to find a place to stay. Ended up pretty nice too. We lucked out as it was a cancellation.
It was so weird walking Duval St. (main street in Key West) during the holidays. All the shops had already decorated their windows for Christmas. The one that stood out in my mind was a clothing store that took up half a block. They had mermaid manequins wearing santa hats and and sequined lower bodies. Then I looked again and they were merMEN. Washboard abs and all. Talk about a doubletake… Hilarious.
“bight idea” = bRight idea… hellooooo edit button???
Good morning. Spending the holidays at home, as there is WWIII brewing within the fam. I just don’t need the drama. By Christmas, I may be in an asylum as I have to cover a co-workers job for the entire month of December AND run my side job plus my own job.
We decided to start a tradition where we go to Hawaii for Christmas every year. That shit only lasted two years. It felt absurd. This year we may go to Texas for Christmas.
We’re spending Thanksgiving at home. I’m going with my new tradition of serving everyone their own tiny turkeys, trimmed with tiny corns, tiny carrots, and tiny potatos. Then we’ll have tiny pumpkin and pecan pies for everyone. I think “tiny Thanksgivings” will someday sweep the nation.
Christmas at the South Pole was kind of unusual, but very nice. Christmas, always on the night shift at many remote weather stations around the country were always great because of the people I was with, and the circumstances of being stuck at work.
This year, however is going to be the best ever (hopefully). My family and I are spending time in Indiana, with a side trip over to WV for me. From there, it’s several days in Chicago, and then onto the Amtrak California Zephyr, where we will spend Christmas on the train.
We spent Christmas in Poland in 06. We were there completing the adoption of our son. It was quite strange to be away from home and the extended family, but it was probably one of the best I’ve ever had. It was great to experience a major holiday like that done completely different than you’ve always known it to be.
For the first time since we’ve been married my husband and I will be staying home for Thanksgiving this year and not schlepping 5 to 6 hours either west or east amidst an ungodly amount of other angry drivers to be with family. THANK GOD!
Christmas we will be doing that, however. I have never spent a Christmas anywhere where there wasn’t at least a nip in the air, if not a chance of snow.
Christmas in Caracas back in 1998 was strange. Very tropical. I am going to take the family down to Moab this Thanksgiving weekend for some red-rock country fun, which I suppose is rather unusual as well.
Parts of 3 different Christmas’s in Gainesville, Florida. Christmas lights strung up in palm trees when there were far more pine trees available. I’m not even sure any of the few hundred palm trees in Gainesville are actually native to the region. At any rate, that shit ain’t right.
I had just turned 12 when I spent Christmas in Heidelberg Germany. Although I have MANY memories of that year, mostly fantastic but some actually hair-raising, I don’t remember a thing about that Christmas.
The weirdest holiday away from home was Thanksgiving 1982 at the University of Miami. The dorms would be closed so I had to go home to the Ozarks for Christmas, but were open for Thanksgiving, and there was no money to make two trips home.
A bunch of fellow losers were in the same boat. Someone found a flyer on campus, and after herbal courage, a gang of us decided to walk a few blocks to the Catholic church (we were all non-practising Protestants at the time).
One of the Fathers greeted us outside, saw our uncertainty, and said something I have never forgotten — “Come on in, guys. Catholics drink and smoke, too.” Dinner was excellent, and we appreciated that they served wine, even if it was the cheapest red they could find.
Going to go buy the turkey etc literally after I finish typing this. Just three of us for T-day this year, but in our house. Christmas is “home” to the Ozarks with tons of relatives on both sides to visit. We’ll be there for two weeks (WTF!?!).
We’re actually selling a bunch of crap on ebay to pay for that cluster fornication.
A final note: I love a white Christmas as much as anybody. But the penultimate time I drove to the Ozarks (alone, from Virginia) for Christmas, I had to detour into a more southern STATE because interstates were closed due to blizzards. I literally counted more than 100 cars in the ditch. I crossed the Mississippi River at 5 miles an hour, with no road surface visible due to ice and snow. White-knuckles for at least 500 of the 1100 miles, and I do NOT want to experience that with a wife, kid, and cats in the SUV this year!
Snow looks nice, but I have to drive in it, and I have to shovel it. (We have a city ordinance: walks must be shoveled, or you could be fined.) Our city does a good job getting the streets cleaned. I’m hoping for aound 50 degrees on Christmas day through New Years. That’s warm enough to let you do some things outside, like grilling, and a little football.
Nothing out of the ordinary for Thanksgiving this year, head to my brother and SIL’s house. It’ll be her family and my family which means my side has to be on better behaviour than usual, I said better not our best, screw that.
Last year the neighbors (the Bumpus’s) dogs broke into the kitchen and ate the turkey. We ended up at a chinese restaurant. Oh wait, that was Christmas, never mind.
Jeff: If you have time for nothing else today, please change the bunker cam pic. She’s really starting to drag me down man!
Oh boy, that’s better! WTF! LMFAO!
Lather was thirty years old today
And lather came foam from his tongue.
He looked at me, eyes wide, and plainly say,
“Is it true that I’m no longer young?”
And the children call him famous,
What the old men call insane.
And sometimes, he’s so nameless,
That he hardly knows what game to play,
Which words to say.
And I should have told him, ‘No, you’re not old.’
And I should have let him go on…smiling…babywide.
JTB that was awesome. You are so witty! I love your posts.
thanksgiving as usual here in doddridge co, wv, way out in boonies
every male relative fo surrounding states, better known as ”the cousins from hell”, will be invading for buck season.
has been tradition since 1982
they will be staying in my small house, sleeping on floors, bunks everywhere.
lots beer, and pissing off front porch, because they cant piss off porch at home.
on thursday there will be the traditional tobasco turky, using 2 bottles of tobasco injected into and poured over turkey.
if try to get out of doing tobasco turkey there is loud protest
original hunters now bring their sons to continue tradition
good time had by all