A couple of quick things before we get started…
I put this together on Saturday (I was in the lab for hours!), and I’m hoping you guys can suggest some other sports figures to add to the gallery. Email them to me, or drop their names into the comments. We need to capture ’em all.
Also, if you feel like adding the page to StumbleUpon, and other social networking sites like Twitter, nobody’s stopping you. In fact, I’d be much obliged. Thanks for the continued support!
And… I’m going to bite the bullet (whatever that means) and attempt to record a podcast on Friday. During the first two installments I’m hoping to answer reader questions. I know some of you already submitted a question or two, but if anyone else has anything, let me know.
There’s a good chance the whole deal will descend into horrifying awfulness, but we’ll see how it goes. If it sucks (as Phil Hendrie would put it) kang, I might not post it. But if it’s reasonably OK, I’ll let you guys hear the thing. So stay tuned, and let me know what questions you’d like answered.
The weekend was uneventful to the extreme. On Saturday we went to a swim meet at a high school in Scranton (Scrannon), where I contracted a severe case of Phantom Ass Syndrome. Seriously. Someone could’ve walked up to me, repeatedly stabbed my butt cheeks with a pair of scissors, and I wouldn’t have noticed. Scary.
Other than that… we didn’t do much. Oh, Toney did our taxes and we’re getting $1100 back. I was hoping for more, but what are you gonna do?
And please don’t post a comment about how it’s stupid to hope for a refund, and how any intelligent person hopes to break even at tax time, blah blah blah. I hate when people do that. It’s one of their “things.” Know what I mean? Whenever they hear someone talk about a tax refund, they view it as their time to shine.
Yes, I understand the concept, I’m not a complete idiot. But when tax prep-time arrives, I’m hoping for a surprise windfall. And if that bothers you, then you should take a good long look at yourself.
Man, I’m getting all whipped-up just thinking about it…
What do you think about this list of the supposed 75 albums every man should own? I think it’s deeply flawed. Combat Rock?? You’ve gotta be kidding me. And that’s just the tip of the metaphorical iceberg that represents my complaints.
Hey, at least they chose the right Van Halen and Wilco records… Whatever.
Did any of you happen to catch last night’s Coast to Coast AM radio show, hosted by Art Bell? He interviewed a guy who is supposedly involved in time travel experiments, and he was very convincing.
Many of the guests on that show are kooks, or trying to promote a book or coaching seminar, or something along those lines. But this guy (from WV, btw) wasn’t selling anything, and sounded reasonable and intelligent. It was a great show, and blew my mind, maaan.
I wish I could listen to the whole thing, but don’t want to pay the subscription fee, on account of cheapness… If any of you have it saved as an mp3, by any chance. please drop me a line. It would be perfect work-listening material.
And finally, I’m going to reprise a conversation a few of us were having at Twitter on Sunday. Rainn Wilson, if you can believe it, started the whole thing, but some of us were having a more intimate sidebar chat on the same subject. As far as I know, no world famous celebs were involved…
Anyway, we were discussing words that make us cringe. I’m sure we’ve covered this subject before here, but it’s always worth a revisit. Some words that bother me, right off the top of my head: underpants, supper, and anyhoo.
Toney can’t stand the word pocketbook, and my paternal grandmother HATED the word fart. Oh, she was no prude (far from it), but that particular word bothered her a great deal. It was unexplainable, and kinda funny.
So, what do you have on this one? Use the comments link below. And I’ll see you guys again tomorrow.
Have a great rest of the day!
AWG: In lovely southwester PA they always called them buggies. In lovely NC we call them carts. Go figure.
I cringe at the word “pump”. Maybe due to regularly eating food from a pump at various 7-Elevens during college?
bikerchick: Sounds like the problem was both ubiquitous and problematic! LOL !!
salve, mutton, node, “centered” (as in the spiritual sense)…
there are words that make my friends/fambly cringe but have no effect on me whatsoever…
scrapple, membrane, analingus…
I think he will sound more like Ben Stein, with a slight drawl.
choose/choice (no idea why)
AWG- there in lies the problem with child brides.
Two words that make my ass pucker…..pregnant and alimony!!
It’s not really words that bother me, but how they are said. I can’t stand it when people add extra syllables to words: jewelry (jew-la-ree), northern (north-er-en), nuclear (new-cu-ler), etc. That’s just a few that I hear all the time. Drives me nuts!
Jeff- have you started watching Dexter yet???
the word that makes me cringe when I read comments: first!
love the word moist
never heard the word soda until I moved to the south, it’s pop and you get it from a pop machine…. and Coke means Coke, not RC Cola (uck) or pepsi.
people who use the “cut” instead of turned, it’s not “I cut it on”. first time I heard that I had to stop the guy and ask him what the hell he was talking about.
people that use borrow instead of lend, you don’t borrow them money dumbass.
When someone uses aks instead of ask I want to just smack them in the mouth.
more words that bug me:
stimulus
liberal
whatever
anal hematoma
How about Cubs player Kosuke Fukudome.
Every time I see someone walking around with FUKUDOME on the back of a shirt it cracks me up.
Not as funny as Dick Trickle maybe, but still funny.
Make me squirm & run away, w/casual mentions of:
pimple
pus
crotch
scab
I am SUCH a delicate flower 🙂
AWG As long as they don’ t offer you a garter belt to go with them!
Miroslav Šatan (born October 22, 1974) is a Slovak professional ice hockey right winger currently playing for the Boston Bruins of the National Hockey League (NHL). The name on the back of his jersey has attracted much attention over the years in highlight reels across North America, with people stunned that a player would be named “Satan”. Miroslav Šatan is actually from Slovakia and his name should be pronounced “Sh”atan.
Chaka Khan
Chaka Khan
Chaka Khan, let me rock you
Let me rock you, Chaka Khan
Let me rock you, that’s all I wanna do
Hmmmm…patumpus….Never heard that one before. I have all boys and my mother started talking to them when they were very young about their “tallywhackers”. WTF! Now that they are grown they have come up with much more advanced terminology:
willy
whang
shebang
pecker
(at least those are the ones they use in front of me)
You get the idea…
I am going to pull a AWG here and propose a new question…what do you call yours?
The only thing I can’t stand hearing is for some guy to call a woman the “C” word.
i get homicidal when people misuse words that sound alike:
there/they’re
your/you’re
yeast is a word that makes me gack
I can’t stand the p*s*y word. Also, buggy instead of cart drives me nuts. My mom would have a full lower jaw retraction if she heard the word “hair” or even just “ha…” She’d start gagging.
Vivacious & Voluptuous. Such stupid words!
I have a female friend who refers to her underwear as “dainties”. As if they’re delicate and dainty.
Sometimes, when I gotta go pee, I’ll say, “I have to go TINKLE.” I like to say it just because it sounds so gay and people don’t expect to hear it.
Thanks, Alice. It’s part two of the neck surgery I had in ’08. Damn bones grew around my nerves again. People told me once I had spine surgery, I’d have it again but I didn’t believe them. Now, I believe, I BELIEVE!
Incision is in the back of the neck this time, Jeff. Maybe you’d like another Smoking Fish sighting?
OOhhh, ETW – I concur: while I don’t mind the C word at all, that P word fully grosses me out!
OMG…the worst word in the world….as agreed by other people right here in the comments.
MOIST….
makes me want to gag just thinking about the word.
I don’t like Bangs and used to have a roommate from Jamaica who always called hamburger “hamburger meat” — seems redundant to me.
Attorney
Doctor
declined
busted
I used to say, “I’m going to go power my nose”, when I headed to the bathroom. Everybody wanted to go with me.
I like the “C” word, the ‘P” word, the “F” word – I find them enjoyable in every way. But I’ve never liked the words “coitus” and “intercourse”.
It’s useless to argue about someone else’s music preferences, because it’s really just subjective, but how can they have a damn Kiss album on there, and leave out any number of better albums? Whoever made up the list should go coitus themselves.
And I think “Combat Rock” has about 5 or 6 perfect songs (and a couple crappy skippable ones).
“powder”…..crap!
Precious loin darling
Vulgar grope, moist dungarees
Glistening pecker
Huh, I seem to have made a Haiku Porno. How ’bout that?
Sports names:
-Vikings’ tight end (ahem), Jim Kleinsasser. It’s pronounced Kline-Saucer, but that didn’t stop John Gruden from consistently and humorously mangling it.
-Utah Jazz’ Carlos Boozer
-And it appears you forgot baseball’s good ol’ Rollie Fingers.
That’s all I got for now.
Actually…”power”, was funnier. I shoulda been using that all along.
dto, you beat me to it. That’s exactly what I was thinking! LOL !!
Gretchen, the haiku is hilarious. That reminds me, I’ve never liked the word “haiku” – sounds like baby-talk version of “high school”
Thank you, Ed. My parents would be so proud to see me using my English degree.
@AWG
Flip Flops across here are what you would wear at the pool (inside, or in some sunnier foreign land of course!).
The term is thankfully losing ground, except with pre-schoolers. Unfortunately its being replaced with the word ‘toe-posts’, which is just too feminine for me.
Its like how I can’t/refuse to use the word ‘hairdresser’, relying on the more gender specific ‘barber’.
I don’t care if my colleagues look at me as if I’m using an archaic word like I was David Niven or Sherlock Holmes.
I get my hair cut at the barber’s, and thats that!
@Melissa – this is off-subject but some time ago you recomended the movie “Dear Zachary”. I did as you said and read nothing about it before watching it. GREAT film! Thanks for sharing.
@ Saucy Deb
“the twat doctor” is “the vaginacologist” at my house.
Wife does not like that one, either.
oops…just added one to my list….sharing. Sounds like church or an AA meeting or really gay.
(Sorry Ed…just a joke and no offence meant.)
I have relatives that say “acrosst” with the T sound on the end. This is me cringing. Not pretty is it?
I hear oriented pronounced orien-tated so many times I don’t know which way is correct any more.
I can’t say the word “panties” without blushing… and I turn 48 this year. I should have sought help before now.
I had an MRI about 8 years ago. Guess when I figured out I was claustrophobic?
@ Saucy Deb/hardoxdan
““the twat doctor” is “the vaginacologist” at my house.
Wife does not like that one, either.”
I like the term “the Vagina whisperer”
I will make it my goal to use the word “Vagina” in a business setting tomorrow. Wish me luck. (funny typo before I corrected it was “wish me lick”
dto, thanks for sharing!
ya’uns bothers me. It is simular to you’uns or y’all. Only used in southwestern Pennsylvania as far as I know.
Tim, you forgot the plural form of y’all…… all y’all
Wow and I thought I was the only person in the world who owned the soundtrack to “The Good, The Bad & The Ugly”
The word that makes me cringe is the Philadelphia mispronunciation of Acme as Ack-A-Me {does that count?]
Girlgoyle: You have to let on that Acme is an actual grocery store in the Philadelphia area, as opposed to the one stop shop where Wylie Coyote S.G. purchases all his Road Runner killing paraphernalia.
Jeff on a slightly more serious note would like to know more about the Book process. Were you approached or did you submit? was it their suggestion as to plot or yours? did you have to submit a treatment? were you assigned an editor or just told to deliver a draught? I think a lot of us would find this interesting Well O.K. I would!
Gretchen it’s the same store;)
Pagan: Well then, apparently my local Acme was always fresh out of anvils and rocket powered roller skates!
Every time Acme runs a sale on anvils, I stock up. I have a basement full.
They have rocket powered roller skates? Damn, I missed those. Off to Acme tomorrow. I want a pair.
Monkey Wards and WallyWorld (for Montgomery Wards and WalMart) give me a full-body pucker.
Seems like moist is on a lot of people’s list. I’m not a big fan either.
A lot of my pet peeve words are items of clothing: slacks, panties, sneakers, blouse. I don’t like supper either – it’s dinner.
–Steve: oleo is a good one. My mom says oleo. I just call everything butter, whether it is or not.
And my last gripe: there is only one “r” in sherbet. Shur-bit, not shur-bert.
Jeff…Enos Slaughter! SLAUGHTER would have been cool on the back of your jersey.