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What’s Your Relationship With Vegetables? Do You Get Along With Them?

March 25, 2013 By Jeff 46 Comments

broccoli 2So far I’ve only posted two items to the new Surf Report Approved! section of the site, and already a few people have complained.  “You’re a shameless shill!” one person said.  My advice: Don’t read that section, if it causes you so much anguish.  I don’t understand it, I think it’s fucking insane, but whatever.  Stay away from it.

And for the record… I’m not shilling.  I often want to talk about music, TV shows, and books that I like.  Also software and podcasts… all sorts o’ stuff.  But I hesitate, because people complain about that too.  Oh god, not another music update!  So, I thought I’d separate the two.  The “recommended” posts would go off to a special section, and wouldn’t appear on the front page — making it super-easy to ignore, if you’re not into it.

Most of the time stuff just rolls off my back, but occasionally someone succeeds in pushing my buttons.  Grrr….

But let’s move on, shall we?  I’ve started eating steamed vegetables for lunch.  I tried to stay away from the Marvin Hagler frozen meals, and was successful for a few months.  I was having ham sandwiches, with lettuce and tomato on toast, every day.  But I got burned-out on it, and found myself slipping back into the frozen meal cycle.  You know, because they’re so freakin’ tasty, and easy to prepare.

But I have high blood pressure (go figure), and those frozen things are just salt licks.  They do me no good, whatsoever.

Last week I mentioned to Toney that I’d like to somehow eat fresh vegetables for lunch.  I didn’t know how to go about it, but she informed me that steaming would be the ticket.  She bought some fresh broccoli and Brussels sprouts, and gave me a brief tutorial (I’m dumm).  It was easy, so that’s what I’ve been doing.

In fact, I have a bunch o’ stuff in the steamer right now.  It makes the house smell like a chamber of farts, but I consume a heaping bowl of some combination of broccoli, Brussels, green beans, cauliflower, cabbage, etc. every afternoon, and it does the trick.  It fills me up, and I enjoy it.

I’ve always liked the veggies.  I never understood the sitcom archetype of the kid who won’t eat his vegetables.  I love ’em, and always have.  The one exception:  asparagus.  Not a fan.  Everything else, though… sign me up.

What’s your relationship with vegetables?  Which ones do you love, and which ones make you gag?  Do you eat enough of ’em?  I hope I can make this an ongoing habit in my life.  So far, I give it an A+.

I don’t really like fruits, though.  Apples, for instance, are bullshit.  Are you with me?!  …Great Christ almighty.  This place smells like the Olympic farting team has been working out in here.

Before I call it a day, I need to alert you to a “when two worlds collide” situation.  Two of my favorite things came together late last week.  Marc Maron interviewed Mark Everett, aka E, of the Eels, on his podcast, and it was fantastic.

I’ve raved about the Eels for years here, and Maron produces one of the few never-miss-an-episode podcasts.  The two came together last Thursday, which could’ve ripped a hole in the time/space continuum, or whatever.

Check it out, even if you’re unfamiliar with E and his music.  He’s a smart, funny guy.  You’ll enjoy it, I can almost guarantee it.

And that’s gonna do it for today, my friends.

See ya again tomorrow!

Now playing in the bunker
Try Dropbox! It’s free and fantastic.

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Comments

  1. The Qweezy Mark says

    March 25, 2013 at 1:38 pm

    I, too, love the veggies. Two nights a week I have a salad that fills an aluminum punchbowl.

    Reply
    • Joe T. says

      March 25, 2013 at 7:30 pm

      Vegetables, vegetables, vegetables, I can’t believe Jeff is trying to push his vegetables on us. What a shill for big agri-business! I come here for meat and fast food updates! Not a love letter to the Green Giant! Well I never! How’s that for anguish?

      Reply
      • The Qweezy Mark says

        March 26, 2013 at 12:19 pm

        Oh, I openly admit that after a huge hike on Sunday I had a Carl’s Junior Guacamole Bacon Six Dollar Burger and a pack of Chewy Sweet Tarts. Then 1/2 bottle of Jim Beam. Can’t gettenuffa the Beam.

        Reply
        • Joe T. says

          March 26, 2013 at 7:55 pm

          I’ll never get guacamole, or the avocado in general.

          Reply
          • chill says

            March 26, 2013 at 10:10 pm

            Avocados are awesome if they’re ripe. It’s a “healthy vegetable” that tastes rich and fatty. I have never found a ripe one in the grocery store, but luckily the not-yet-ripe ones will ripen on the kitchen counter in a few days. Just have to plan ahead for guacamole.
            .

            Reply
            • t-storm says

              March 27, 2013 at 1:31 am

              Someone on Jay Moh’s show said Avocados are expensive! They sell them by the each!

              Reply
  2. Ognir says

    March 25, 2013 at 1:56 pm

    Call any vegetable
    And the chances are good
    O-oh, the vegetable will respond to you

    Reply
    • Uncle_Wedgie says

      March 26, 2013 at 1:45 pm

      RudabaAaga RudabaAga RudaBaA

      Reply
  3. Phil Jett says

    March 25, 2013 at 1:57 pm

    Love vegetables but I eat most of them raw and I’m not talking about using them as a ranch dressing delivery device. We usually have a large plate of raw vergetables each night with dinner.

    I do like corn on the cob cooked and asparagus done on the grill.

    Reply
    • madz1962 says

      March 25, 2013 at 2:44 pm

      I love raw string beans. I used to prefer raw over cooked but now I could go either way. Especilly grilled.

      Reply
  4. junkfood says

    March 25, 2013 at 2:07 pm

    Absolutely can’t go wrong with steamed broccoli with some kosher salt on it. And at any reception, open house, buffet etc I just camp out by the spread & crunch away on the fresh vegetables. So good.

    Reply
    • hot fuzz says

      March 26, 2013 at 11:17 am

      And with your user id??

      Reply
  5. Theresa says

    March 25, 2013 at 2:11 pm

    I don’t mind veggies, I actually love brussel sprouts. Peas are second favorite. I don’t eat corn because it um comes out the same way it goes it and that’s just creepy, I guess it has no nutritional value. I love baby carrots and cucumbers.

    Reply
    • Alex says

      March 25, 2013 at 6:18 pm

      Chewing alleviates the problem of coming out like it goes in…

      Reply
      • Theresa says

        March 25, 2013 at 10:12 pm

        Uh I chew my food, thank you very much.

        Reply
  6. whistledick says

    March 25, 2013 at 2:12 pm

    can not stand peas or sweet potato[e]s
    both tast alike and horrible to me
    and to me brussels sprouts taste like what i imagine a wad of used soggy toilet paper would taste
    a tomato[e] fresh out of the garden is pure bliss

    Reply
  7. madz1962 says

    March 25, 2013 at 2:18 pm

    I like fruits more than vegetables, but I do enjoy my veggies too. In fact, I tend to go for desserts made with fruit rather tna choclate I’d take a berry tart over death by chocolate cake any day.

    Not a fan of the Brussels sprouts or cabbage but anything else I’ll eat.

    I LOVE salad but hate making it. Too much chopping, shredding, washing, peeling involved.

    And Beloved and I are a tad fanatically obsessed with eating organic. No GMO shit on our plates. I guess
    I’ve come a long way from my “french fries and ketchup ARE vegetables” routine. (sigh…)

    Reply
  8. Dogberry says

    March 25, 2013 at 2:36 pm

    I’m good with anything but squash. Blech.

    Reply
  9. Bubb says

    March 25, 2013 at 2:37 pm

    I had a girlfriend in LA who loved vegetables…cukes, zuchini, carrots…stuffed into every orifice of hers.

    Reply
  10. Melissa says

    March 25, 2013 at 2:52 pm

    I grow a ton of veggies (ask Jason) in my garden but one thing I grow that I can’t stand is broccoli. I can’t eat it raw or cooked. Something about the texture of the tree part grosses me out. I also don’t like carrots after they are cooked. Again, it’s a texture thing. But I will consume a ton of carrots raw. Love ’em.

    We grow peas and this year we grew a ton of snap peas. I happen to be allergic to snap peas (can’t eat raw legumes – weird allergy) but I found my dog LOVES snap peas. My boy Sumo will go crazy for the shell and ignore the peas where my female Princi will go crazy for the peas and ignore the shell. Perfect combo for them to laze around waiting for us to pick their daily 5.

    And fuck whoever pissed on your idea. I thought it was brilliant to separate the pages and I say keep going. It’s your site after all, not ours!

    Reply
    • Jason says

      March 25, 2013 at 5:20 pm

      Melissa is an unrepentant liar. She doesn’t have a garden. She buys shit from farmer’s markets and tries to pass it off as her own. I’ve been on to her for a long time. She goes to great lengths to continue her fraud.

      Actually, she’s like the green fucking giant. It’s absurd what she’s able to grow. Everything from pineapples to tomatillos. WTF?

      Reply
      • Melissa says

        March 25, 2013 at 6:22 pm

        Mmmmm….tomatillos…..

        Reply
  11. Jorge says

    March 25, 2013 at 3:01 pm

    Vegetables suck.

    My anscestors didn’t scratch and claw their way to the top of the food chain so that I could eat grass and twigs.

    My favorite vegetable is ham.

    Brussels Sprouts- Fuck you. Broccoli- the Devils toilet brush. Cauliflower- nope, not a chance. Also on the suck list: carrots, peas, all kinds of squash, beets, green beans, orka, and pretty much everything else. Don’t even think about cooking a tomato.

    I can tolerate asparagus grilled with salt and olive oil. I’m a fan of potatos and rice. Beans are ok in mexican food. Otherwise, keep them.

    All meat is wonderful.

    Fish, beef and lamb ar best raw.

    Reply
    • Caveman Carl says

      March 25, 2013 at 3:39 pm

      Jorge you are so right. Vegetables do suck. I hate the texture, I hate the flavor.

      ONLY time I will eat broccoli is when I’m pissed off at the wife, Because the farts I then produce make it like Operation Rolling Thunder in my house.

      no other redeeming value to vegies.

      I like MEAT!

      Reply
    • Rick in the UK now says

      March 29, 2013 at 11:23 am

      “My favorite vegetable is ham.”

      I actually LOL’d when I read this. Power to the carnivore!

      Reply
  12. icecycle66 says

    March 25, 2013 at 3:07 pm

    Me and veggies are fine. They know their place, over in a side bowl and their only to take up space. They’ll never be the star of a meal, as long as their good with that, I’m good with them.

    I also think dick shaped veggies are hilarious.

    I found out, quite by accident, that if you steam the ever living shit out of broccoli that it makes a good substitute for steamed rice.

    My main problem with vegetables, and fruits, is that I have to eat a bushel of them to make a dent in the gapping hole that is my hunger. Literally, a bushel; I have to eat gallons upon gallons upon gallons of tomatoes and cucumbers to feel like I’ve eaten anything at all.

    Reply
  13. bikerchick says

    March 25, 2013 at 3:27 pm

    Roasted asparagus on the grill with olive oil, salt, pepper and a sprinkle of parm cheese is lushious! Cauliflower on the grill is good too.

    Cooked carrots and peas are gag worthy. But I like snap peas.

    Reply
    • Limey says

      March 26, 2013 at 9:54 am

      For about 3 weeks every late April we get the *best* Asparagus off the local Amish farms. Olive oil, S+P, roast at 400 for 10 mins, drizzle with balsamic vinegar = heaven.

      and stinky piss.

      Reply
  14. Root 66 says

    March 25, 2013 at 4:01 pm

    My relationship with veggies? Garnish.

    Reply
  15. icecycle66 says

    March 25, 2013 at 4:49 pm

    Hey you fools.
    Make sure you are voting on this thing.

    It’s fucking important.

    http://deadspin.com/vote-jagoffs-second-round-of-our-curse-word-bracket-b-458682423

    Reply
  16. Jason says

    March 25, 2013 at 5:15 pm

    Shameless shilling for vegetables, I see. Who the fuck says shit like that?

    I like the vegetables just fine. I probably go further than some of you and have started delighting in pickled vegetables (pickled okra, pickled beets, etc).

    I don’t eat fruit. I don’t think I’ve had a single piece of fruit in 2013 and I might just keep it that way.

    Reply
    • Melissa says

      March 25, 2013 at 6:24 pm

      Jason, you’d be glad to know that I also pickle lots of MY home grown veggies. (No farmers’ market veggies in my house!)

      Reply
      • Jason says

        March 25, 2013 at 7:22 pm

        I wish I could pickle vegetables. I tried making pickles once and they were revolting.

        Reply
  17. Erin says

    March 25, 2013 at 5:53 pm

    Veggies are gross. I am a meatatarian.

    Reply
  18. Alex says

    March 25, 2013 at 6:24 pm

    I am not fond of asparaguts and brussel sprouts. Most everything else is good to go.
    Apples to, since they are easy to eat while driving.

    Shill away, but I kinda liked it when it was mixed in with the daily update, I’m lazy, making the mouse go click is just too much effort. =-).

    Reply
  19. druglife says

    March 25, 2013 at 6:30 pm

    Post what you want Jeff. who gives a shit what a couple of d-bags think. Also you’re that guy steaming vegetables at work and stinking up the place? I thought you was better than that Jeff.

    Reply
  20. T. Farty McAppleass says

    March 25, 2013 at 6:31 pm

    Popcorn is a vegetable.

    Reply
  21. E2M says

    March 25, 2013 at 7:23 pm

    I like the macaroni and cheese vegetable.

    Reply
  22. chill says

    March 25, 2013 at 7:42 pm

    I don’t care for fruit much at all, but I’m fine with the veg. Very many vegetables are good if you a) cut as needed; 2) toss with oil, salt, pepper; iii) grill. I like broccoli, peas, beans, corn, carrots if they’re not glazed, asparagus, artichokes, squash if roasted or grilled. Don’t care for eggplant or cauliflower. Pickled carrots are good.

    And I agree that a tomato fresh off the vine is truly a wonder.

    On the subject, NASA once did a study on “which foods generate the worst farts”. On account of those batches of astronauts in close quarters for long periods of time. The winners were the cruciforms: broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, Brussels sprouts and the like. Also onions. FYI.
    .

    Reply
  23. rob says

    March 25, 2013 at 8:10 pm

    My favorite vegatable is that stalk of celery that comes with a good Bloody Mary. They’re great for stirring. Olives are pretty good, too.

    Reply
    • chill says

      March 25, 2013 at 8:14 pm

      The pickled onion seems to have declined in popularity of late.
      .

      Reply
  24. girlgoyle says

    March 25, 2013 at 9:28 pm

    I pretty much love veggies especially raw veggies and salads.

    The loathed trio are
    1: Beets – taste like dirt
    2: Brussels Sprouts – taste like cooked cabbage / smell like cooked cabbage aka feet
    3: Lima beans – too icky notable exception baked Limas

    Now my husband is not a vegetable fan; his favorite vegetable is corn which I remind him is a grain and the food pyramid is cited. I have learned he will eat most veggies if they are roasted. I love asparagus but roasted asparagus elevates the vegetable.

    And mashed cauliflower with onions and garlic is so good

    Reply
  25. Ed says

    March 25, 2013 at 10:10 pm

    I like the extra web page – it’s like the old Suggestaholic site you did awhile back. (I too am a suggestaholic). I bought the Paul Feig books after reading about them here.

    Reply
  26. Not Oprah says

    March 25, 2013 at 10:14 pm

    Pretty much like all veggies. except cauliflower gives me a terrible stomach ache. Brussel sprouts are bitter but maybe I don’t know how to cook them. Raw peas are my favorite.

    Reply
  27. madz1962 says

    March 26, 2013 at 11:38 am

    I had broccoli last night with dinner. And yes, when it cooks, it does smell like a bucket of farts.

    In a few months I’ll be eating from my own garden!

    Reply
  28. t-storm says

    March 27, 2013 at 1:33 am

    And fuck it. Your site, your fucking rules. I’m pretty sure some of us wouldn’t stop reading no matte what. Or it would take months of shipdates fo us to stray.

    Reply

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