Wow. This is going to be kind of depressing, now that I think about it… That wasn’t my intention, and it might not be such a downer for the rest of you. So we’ll just continue with it. What the hell.
Before we get started though, I have to tell you what happened today. It’ll contrast nicely with 20 years ago, I think.
Last night I set two alarms, because one doesn’t do it anymore. The sound of it is so familiar, it doesn’t gain any traction in my brain. So, there’s another alarm way across the room. They’re set to go off 15 minutes apart, and the second one requires me to get out of bed to stop its chirping.
This method has worked in the past, but I think I’ve now emotionally accepted the act of getting out bed, and hitting the button on the second alarm. It’s not jarring anymore, it’s just part of my daily routine. I’m never really awake while doing it, then climb back atop the platform and continue clear-cutting old growth forest.
Today I finally got up at 11:00, an hour and a half after the alarms started going off. This pissed me off, and I was grumbling as I made the coffee. I don’t really mind the hours I work – I’m wired for night – but resent it when it eats up half the following day. Ya know? I gots shit to do.
So, I guzzled some coffee, and began puttering around in the bunker. It’s a mess again and I unearthed a notice from the post office, saying my PO Box fee was due on the last day of August. Shit! This is like… September or something. I logged onto the USPS website, to pay the fee, but it wouldn’t work. Every time I attempted to start the process, it would flash and go back to the first screen. Grrr…
So, I took a shower, drank some more coffee, and drove over there. The box was still open, which was a good sign. The key still worked, and there was mail inside.
I went to the counter and told the woman I wanted to pay for six months, and she told me it would be $50. Huh? Why fifty, instead of the regular thirty? She said there was a handling fee, because I was late. A $20 handling fee.
“What are you handling?” I asked. “What extra work am I creating, by paying this on the 19th instead of the 10th?”
“Sir, those are the rules,” she said, for the first of about ten times. She couldn’t have given a tiny seahorse-shaped shitlet about me, or my opinions.
“No, I’m not going to pay it,” I said. “I’ve done thousands of dollars worth of business here, and now you’re going to play hardball with me? I don’t think so. I’m not going to pay the fee.”
“OK. Can I have your key back?” she said.
I was fuming when I left there, and began thinking about all the hassles this would cause. My whole life is tied to that PO Box, and now I’ll have to change the address on every goddamn thing I’ve ever touched. I decided to call the postmaster, and give it one more shot. Maybe she would be a little more human?
Ha! She was worse: another bloodless automaton, married to the rules. I started out nice, but it went downhill fast. She was condescending, and kept saying, “Sir, this is a business, like anywhere else.”
“Not a very good one!” I shouted. “You’re going to lose me as a customer, because you’re too stubborn to waive a $20 fee. I think my loyalty, and the amount of business I’ve run through there earns me that privilege.”
But she wouldn’t budge, and I had to tap some inner-strength not to go all scorched-Earth on her.
I know some of you will say it’s my fault, and I should just quit my bitching. And it is my fault. However, I’m a longtime customer who periodically spends a significant amount of money in that place. Meeting someone like me halfway, as a courtesy, is the smart thing to do. Now I’ll never set foot in there again. Oh, I can hold a grudge.
So, what are they gaining by being slaves to the rule book? They could’ve retained me, by giving me a one-time break. But, they chose to side with their precious rules and regulations, and lost me forever. Good job! Fantastic strategizing. Warren Buffet would be proud.
People who go strictly by the book believe they’re being tough, but it’s exactly the opposite. They absolve themselves of making any real decisions, by referring to the rules, again and again. It’s a cowardly course. There is a lot of wiggle-room with the rules. Any good manager knows this, and uses it to his advantage. But wiggle-room makes pusslings feel uneasy.
And twenty years ago today? I was skinny, thirty years old, and recently married. We’d just returned from a week in San Francisco: one of the best weeks of my life. We lived in a great house in the suburbs of Atlanta, and both of us worked for the biggest record company in the world, with massive amounts of impossibly cool fringe benefits. The sky was the limit, baby! Tonight we probably went to Everybody’s Pizza for dinner, and laughed a lot.
Twenty years later? I’m doing battle with postal clerks in Long Balls, Pennsylvania, and whining about alarm clocks. I’m fat, have gray hair, and work inside a hamster wheel forty miles from home. I’ll probably have grilled cheese for dinner, and do a lot of frowning and yelling at that old Swiffer couple on TV.
What about you? What do you think you were doing twenty years ago today? Any idea? Was it a better situation back then, or are you happier with the present-day? Please tell us about it in the comments section below.
And I’ll see you again soon.
Have a great day, my friends!
Now playing in the bunker
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first
20 years ago. 28″ waist, needed a comb, fresh off my 1st divorce, no kids, running around Austin like a wild man. Jack Daniel’s, Harleys, coke and strippers was just the average Tuesday night.
Twenty years ago today I was a stupid, broke college sophomore with no clue what I was doing or where I was going, eating macaroni and cheese seven nights a week. I still have no clue what I’m doing, but I’d have to say I’d rather be here than there! I’ve got two amazing kids, I’m in much better shape now than I was then and I have a useless degree in English Literature that affords me elite positions in grocery stores!
And you’re right about “the rules,” it removes all responsibility of logical thought and human kindness/compassion from idiots.
Twenty years ago I was 13 so it’d be a safe bet to say I was mindlessly staring at a chalkboard in Andrew Jackson Jr High School. Good times.
20 years ago I was fresh out of college and working in my first real job. I was still living with my parents and had just bought a sports car.
I was about 50 lbs lighter and hopeless with girls. I was hanging out with friends who were still in school and occasionally going to bars with a couple of high school buddies. Basically I was going nowhere and making entry level money.
This continued for years.
Glad to be here now.
20 years ago I was living with the Qweezy Mark in Long Balls, PA. Since it was the ’90’s, I was probably watching Seinfeld, and smelling his supper. Oh, and pounding Genesee’s.
Yep, Remember who I was dating then? Jeezus…..it’s a miracle we didn’t devise an “accident” to make my and, by association, your life easier.
….and yes….Genny by the case!
Cream Ale, or regular? Please don’t say light.
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Course not! Regular.
20 years ago I was working for the state of WV. Since then I went into the private sector working locally in Charleston. Eight years ago today I started a new job which relocated me to central Florida. It’s been a helluva’ transition but I’m really lovin’ it down here. Bought a house near the bottom of the housing market crash – one that was way better than I could have afforded normally. Still have my hair, although I cut it a little more often now when the gray starts peeking through. Got a little chunky during the transition, but have since slimmed back down. All in all, doing great, and have no regrets in my last two decades.
Twenty years ago I was a freshly-minted B.A. in history and I was busy day and night fighting off competing job offers. Hellish, I tell you.
No, actually I was using my hard earned college skills to sling coffee at this newfangled place called Starbucks. It wasn’t a dream job, but it was pretty fun; lots of talent coming through the door and the shifts flew by.
Put in my first year with the place I still work at now. A lot less paperwork beurocracy back then. Everybody is wound too tight these days mired down with their political correctness bullshit.
The post office is government run. That means the rules are the rules and the serfs at the local joint probably don’t even have an override in order to waive the fee. Damn computer probably does it automatically and just shows them the grand total.
How much to start a new box? That happens to be your old box?
Alex.
What ever happened to the t-shirts? Have they shipped yet?
Matt
Do not poke the angry bear.
Why??
I’m wondering too. Are they going to be shipped soon?
Well, for one thing, Sergeant Pepper taught the band to play, although, to be fair, they’ve been going in and out of style.
jtb
well played jtb
I’d have to check the dates exactly but I think this was when I took my first real vacation in 5 years. I flew from Orlando to Seattle (First Class, I had the frequent flyer miles to cash in) and spent the next 2 weeks tooling around Washington (my first visit to Mt. St. Helens), Idaho, Montana, Wyoming and South Dakota.
Oh yeah, I was 30 years old as Jeff was, fatter than I am now (not that that is saying all that much) and believed that work was my life and life consisted of my work (which I often brought home with me in my briefcase). Drank Jack Daniels back then like some people drink Starbucks now. Pretty sure I was smoking a pack and a half a day too. What a walking disaster area.
20 years ago I was scuffling around post-high school, not really feeling college, still living with my parents, and working in a low-level management position in a fast food joint. In the intervening years, I moved out, got a Bachelor’s in English, finally realized that 9-to-5 simply isn’t for me after a series of jobs that made me truly miserable, and just moved back in with my nearly 80-year-old father as a de facto caregiver. Not sure how I feel about all this, I hadn’t really given it much consideration.
20 years ago I was 30 like Jeff, with a brand new baby girl, small house, large mortgage, pretty good job. I’d got rid of my nice car and other toys to get the house. Now 3 kids, same wife (which is a good thing!) big house, bigger mortgage and my own business, greyer and a bit chunkier. Still no big boy toys but last kid at school (that Im paying for) so look out for a late mid life crisis!
I once paid a credit card payment a few days late because I was waiting on my income tax and sent them a $500 payment. Asked them to waive the late fee. I said would you rather have the minimum payment or a $500 payment?? and the jerk on the other end goes..well it doesn’t matter how much you pay as long as you pay it on time.
20 years ago I was 8 so nothing really major was happening in my life haha.
20 years ago today I was recovering from a hangover obtained at my first wedding anniversary dinner.
Twenty years ago my daughter was turning 12 today. Now she is married and I’m a grandpa.
Twenty years ago I was 31, divorced, poor and getting laid. Today I’m married, much better off financially but rarely getting laid.
Sept 1993 – I was in my fifth year at the law firm I would spend 11 more years with, a couple years removed from my first marriage, partying like a rock star with money I didn’t really have (oh, the joy of ridiculously high credit limits on multiple credit cards). Today, I’m in my 10th year at the accounting firm, two years INTO my second marriage and loving life. Other than having rheumatoid arthritis and feeling 75 every morning when I get out of bed, I can’t complain about too much (but still do). Oh yeah, I’ve almost paid off my partying debt on those cards too.
20 years ago, almost to the day I was moving into a new apartment that I found out later cost a fortune to heat in the winter. Paper thin walls and shit insulation. I was 31, single and working at an ad agency over the NY state line in CT and basically doing ok.
Fast forward 20 years and I’m married (almost 16 years), looking for a house in Rhode Island where we’ll retire and woring for a soulless corporation where each year they massively reduce the work force. It’s only a matter of time before I get my walking papers.
Perhaps the Hippy Dippy Mailman was promoted to the Hippy Dippy Post Master and he remembers. Oh, he remembers real good.
Jeff you Zombie buy yourself one of these – it helps my step-son get out of bed too!
http://www.enablemart.com/sonic-bomb-sbb500ss-alarm-clock-with-bed-shaker?gclid=CM6q96nX2rkCFbCDQgodO0MAfg
twenty years ago I was 23, was a stripper living in NYC having a blast…..sigh…..where have all the good times gone?
I guess you are another example of why the USPS always loses money:
http://www.nbcnews.com/business/postage-stamp-price-hike-keep-usps-going-4B11199684
Pretty much anyone who runs a successful business knows it is good for business to waive a bullshit late fee and keep the customer happy. With attitudes like that, no wonder the USPS is going down the toilet.
20 years ago today I would be starting my final year at university in London, and at this time of the evening I would either be high or drunk and on my way to a gig from the wide selection to choose from. More drink, drugs, and kebabs, and then stagger home somehow.
2013 – I had frozen spring rolls for dinner tonight, then started working.
The Post Office employees get paid the same whether they are busy all day, or if not a single customer walks through the door. Which do you think they prefer?
I send a lot of business mail. I have given up arguing with the USPS, it is a waste of oxygen.
Twenty years ago today I was four years into my first real job in my industry – long enough to know the ropes, but short enough that I was still enthusiastic. My batshit crazy wife had been gone for two years, so the money drain had eased. I was diligently addressing the problem of brewing better beer. Life was all right.
Now, it’s about 40 pounds later and I’m taking pills every day. In the current job, I’ve reached the bitter and disillusioned part of the cycle.
.
I was 13 and living in Jacksonville, FL with my mother and her violent alcoholic boyfriend. I had a lot of friends that I’m still close with today but rarely left my house for fear of what might happen to my mom. Now, I’m happily living in my hometown of Las Vegas, into my 6th year of a happy marriage and enjoying everyday with my awesome 3 year old daughter. Oh, and my mom is great. Such good times that I worry it can only go down hill from here! Lol
I have a huge problem with people that act like my money isn’t green enough. I’m going out of MY way to give you my business and you couldn’t give two “seahorse-shaped” turds! Wtf?
That’s a great place to be; enjoy it while it lasts.
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Btw, sorry if I came off like a dick to the Reporters that are not as happy as they were 20 yrs ago. My life was extremely shitty then, so I guess I deserve a break! Lol 😉
By the way, my life is going well enough to afford a pretty good keyboard so I can type actual words, but not so well that I find myself laughing out loud multiple times a day for no apparent reason.
I know that leaves a lot of territory, and I try hard not to ride roughshod over it. It’s just that devoid-of-meaning shortcuts and emoticons stab me right in the virtual testicles, no matter who is using them. I cry out in agony. Balls.
John
What makes life better than it was twenty years ago is having learned not to worry about things you can’t control. That doesn’t alter the reality but greatly reduces the stress, which could be why I’ve made it to my mid-60’s without gaining weight or having to take medications. *knocks wood*
I was 10, so, probably playing Nintendo.
Twenty years ago I:
Was married six years already and realized marriage is kinda like life without parole.
Sang the National Anthem at Thursday night bingo.
Said, “filling station” for the last time.
Spoke in tongues for the first time.
Realized I’d never buy a new car again.
Invited Ross Perot to my house.
I admit that I keep scant track of the various TV shows, movies and books on this threat, but my limited understanding is that the only way they can, in fact, enter your house is if you invite them in.
jtb
I had just started a master degree program at UNC-Chapel Hill geography 20 years ago. I suppose that was a pretty good time in my life. I was learning a whole bunch in probably the best university setting that I was ever in. I think it was the first time that I had an email address. I only knew one person outside of the university that also had an email address with which to correspond. If you wanted to find something on the internet (the “World-Wide Web”), you had to use a program (Archie or Veronica). The first time I remember using browser software (called ‘Mosaic’) was in 1994.
You could also use Gopher. I installed Mosaic on my Mac II i n1993 or 1994 and thought “well, this ‘web’ is pretty cool, but there are only like four sites out there”.
.
I remember finding a whole bunch of sites with Dylan guitar tabs on them.
20 Years Ago Today…I was getting ready to get married. EEK!