Last night it was raining ice. I was at work — even though I live forty miles away, and many, many assholes who live around the corner called-off — and ice was pouring from the sky. One woman went outside on a break, and wasn’t able to get her car door open. It was a Corolla in amber.
A few people from my department cried uncle around 9:30 and went home. It was raining balls of ice… I was becoming a bit concerned, but stuck around. I’d been rolling my eyes at all the weather talk earlier in the evening, but not anymore. Weird shit was happening outside; everything was encased in a thick layer, and the layer was getting thicker.
Another four people from my department asked if they could leave at 11:00. I’d already told everyone they could go, at any time. I didn’t want one of them to do a 390-degree spin into the river or something. So it was down to a skeleton crew of me and four others.
I took a break around 11:15 and walked outside. And it was ridiculous. It was pouring solid raindrops, and you could hear them pounding the cars in the parking lot. Lots of really fast and loud ticking… I walked over to my Toyota, and the windows looked like a shower door. I almost fell on my ass walking back to the building, and that finally convinced me to get outta there.
I gave The Four some vague direction, and hit the highway. And it was slicker than the proverbial cat shit on a marble floor. Whenever I encountered an uphill grade, my front wheels did a few more rotations than was necessary. I didn’t much care for any of it.
The interstate was almost completely abandoned, which is unnerving. On the radio they kept reminding everyone not to travel, unless it’s absolutely necessary. And it felt like I was on my own out there. Occasionally a tractor trailer roared past at an outrageous speed, or I caught up with someone traveling at 15 mph with their emergency flashers on.
Twice during the white-knuckle journey I saw flashing lights, and emergency crews trying to help someone who’d completely left the highway. What the hell, man? Apparently “adjust your speed” is not a familiar concept to some folks? One guy was DEEP in the woods. Wotta douche.
As I was heading uphill toward Montage Mountain, I thought a situation was developing. For a few seconds my car began traveling at a one o’clock trajectory, and my sphincter took it up another notch. But it was only a brief episode, and everything quickly returned to normal.
After I arrived home (finally!) I walked through the foot-deep snowpack in our front yard, because the driveway was a sheet of ice, and I didn’t trust the sidewalk, either. I had visions of myself, head and feet fully inverted, one second before crashing to the ground and my pelvis turning to dust.
I went inside, grabbed a Yuengling from the fridge, and let Andy out to do his middle o’ the night dump. He went hard-charging through the front door, as normal. But by the time he’d reached the middle of the yard, he had a “what in the everlovin’ hell??” look in his eyes. Then he slung some urine, and sprinted back to the porch. There would be no leisurely dump on this evening. ‘Cause hard things were falling from the sky.
Tonight probably isn’t going to be a walk in the freakin’ park either, but I can’t imagine it being worse than last night. I guess we’ll see, won’t we?
How was your ride home from work yesterday? What was the most interesting thing that happened? Usually I could answer that question with “I dropped a full Pop-Tart, and it somehow ended up all the way underneath the gas pedal” or something along those lines.
If you have anything on this highly questionable Question, please use the comments link.
And tomorrow I’ll tell you about some disturbing news Toney told me this morning. Facebook gossip… about some people we used to know in Atlanta. Well, it’s disturbing to me anyway. I have weird reactions to things.
See ya then. Have a great day!
Now playing in the bunker
First!
Is there going to be a second? Everyone at home snowed it? Nope…not in the wonderland that is TEXAS! Woo hoo! O.K. I can pipe down now. Even in Texas this is too damn cold for me. Why the heck do you think I live here? Now take your cold weather back up north, would ya?
*snowed in* (oops)
Technically Second!!
Good Afternoon Surf Reporters…..
Weather here in Western PA has been spotty at best. Seems we got lucky and missed the really bad stuff. Yesterday morning, everything was coated in ice, but then it warmed up in the lo 40’s and melted away.
In the last 5 hours, the temp has dropped 20 some degrees and the wind is blowing like a bad mofo.
Maybe about an inch of snow today predicated and about an inch tomorrow.
My commute to and from work is pretty low key seeing that I only live about a mile away. I can handle that.
Quote: I went inside, grabbed a Yuengling from the fridge, and let Andy out to do his middle o’ the night dump. He went hard-charging through the front door, as normal. But by the time he’d reached the middle of the yard, he had a “what in the everlovin’ hell??” look in his eyes. Then he slung some urine, and sprinted back to the porch. There would be no leisurely dump on this evening. ‘Cause hard things were falling from the sky.
This was INSPIRED prose, Jeff. 🙂
I thought it was hilarious.
Attempted to drive home last night in my 4×4 pickup and slid into my driveway about an hour later than usual. Shit roads, but its worse up here today. Half inch of freezing rain will do that though. Now there’s snow on top of it and 40 MPH gusts.
We ain’t getting no snow here. I think we suppose to get a wind storm though.
I don’t drive, I walk. So it is pretty much always a hassle in the winter. Not many people clean their sidewalks. I don’t mind walking in the snow though – it ‘s the ice that will get you.
I once walked into town on black ice. That was probably not the smartest move I ever made.
here in Santa Barbara it was a little chilly last night. Mid 50’s I would guess and today it is about 70. I am here on purpose by the way.
Damn you Uncle Wedgie, I wish I could wake up tomorrow, walk out of the lobby of the Oceana, down to Sambo’s for a big breakfast. Or there was a little dive Mexican place on State Street that had good breakfast burrito’s but I couldn’t find it on Google maps.
Did Puxatony (?) Phil see his shadow? Wiarton Willy was snowed in. I kinda like that the rat didn’t see his shadow – less of this stuff.
I got up at 4 to see how things were going road wise. It just didn’t seem worth it. I can always work from home so this week it’ll be Thursday rather than Wed when I show my mug.
My commute last night was from the home office to the kitchen to make dinner (warmed up some cedar planked salmon, sauteed fresh green beans and a Cesar salad. And in case anyone thinks “wow, he’s eating a bit more healthy than before…”, I got my 4 -5 lbs of daily red meat in the form of a slab of prime rib as big as two stacked netbooks.
….and had the left over slab for lunch.
At the gas station last night I filled up the car and a jerry can for the snow blower. The next island over, another guy was doing the same thing. We nodded silently. The brotherhood of the Snow Blowers.
ha… blow
Punxsutawney Phil did NOT see his shadow. Early spring…..so they say. I’ll believe it when I see it.
No snow or ice here in NC – it’s partly sunny and 50+ degrees so I plan to do some yard work when I get home today.
But…I feel very lucky as I have no travel this month at all, which is unusual because at this time of year I am normally passing through either ORD or DFW several times (both airports canceled hundreds of flights yesterday/today) .
The travel gods have smiled – I don’t do a west coast trip until mid-March.
75 degrees here, feels like 110. I’ll be glad to trade with you.
Ride home consisted of the usual. Three lane interstate, I’m in the middle. Car to the left is driven by an 80 year old. Car to the right is driven by a 90 year old. Clenching my teeth hoping neither will swerve into me.
Got off the interstate and stopped for a snack on the way to pick up my kids. Three Arby’s pink castration sandwiches, smothered with horseradish. Then filled my car up with George and Dick’s retirement liquid. Then got my kids and played “Yellow Car” the rest of the way home with them. (The object is to call ’em when you see ’em, there are so few yellow cars out there, and taxi’s are three points)
Nothing too exciting, but you asked.
I’ve been to Arby’s three nights in a row trying to get me and my better 2/3s a $1 chocolate turnover. They’ve been OUT every single time. Do I want a cherry or apple? No! Fuckers. Roast in hell!
i wish i had an arby’s here… fucking new york has NO good fast food…
It was about 54 degrees when I left work yesterday. The sun was setting behind me and the mountains in front of me were dancing with purples, pinks, and oranges. I love have 15 mile visavility. The sky was pure blue that weighs on your eys like the ocean on the shore. Blue as far as I could see, right up until the horizon when the blue light gave way to clean cloudless white atmosphere.
We don’t have any snow or ice here in Alabamie. Just a little rain. Last night’s ride home was uneventful, except for the point where I almost hit a bridge rail while trying to plug in my ipod touch.
I worked home the past 2 days due to the weather. Missed going for an MRI, too. Monday night my ride was uneventful.
Years ago (maybe 1981?) my friend Margie was giving me a ride home from work (McDonalds era) after we closed the store. It was maybe 1:00 AM. We hadn’t realized there was an ice storm out there. We hit the parkway and immediately stopped – you could NOT safely move your car. We stayed on the parkway all night. the only way to finally move was to put 2 wheels up on the curb for traction and slowly make it the 10 miles home. I got home at 6:45. My father was sitting at the table having coffee and gave me the ” DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TIME IT IS?” look until I told him what had happened. (no cell phones, back then!) The sights I witnessed on that short trip were horrific – car crashes and flips everwhere. I saw a cop kneeling by a passenger door trying to get a lady’s 2 bloody legs out. The car crashes looked like the cop chase scene from The Blues Brothers. Horrific.
Further evidence was highly disturbing, mainly because I kept clicking to see more pictures. Most of the pictures seem to be taken in public facilities. Imagine walking in and trying to figure out the flash… the sound of the camera…..
And then there is the WVSR classic. Not too much to be said about that I guess.
I agree fuzz, something disturbing about further evidence and the naked Hager twins. I think Jeff may be a closet homosexual. Not that there is anything wrong with that.
On a side note, has any reporter ever taken a colon cleanse and released such horrific things? I need to know, PLEASE no pictures.
No. It’s all bullshit. There’s an ingredient in the cleansing pills (silica) that clumps up in the colon, that’s what people are shitting out – the product itself.
You can put a couple of those pills in a glass with some water and you’ll end up with a jello-like substance in the glass.
For some reason it reminds me of the fireworks things that you light up and they become these black snakes.
And geez, they’re putting it on the toilet rim? How nasty is that?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQw5J7SmSFQ
those things..
Well, I guess it could make for some fun not flushing at work!
Seriously, who DOESN’T fish their shit out with a spoon and lay it across the toilet or the coffee table? Who DOESN’T?
I just did that very thing last Thursday!
No doubt Jason, ever try taking a decent picture of a turd while it’s still in the bowl? It’s hard to appreciate the scale, not to mention the flash tends to get too bright inside the white toilets, biege toilets not quite so bad. It’s just easier to lay that bad boy on the coffee table for really good photos.
Whole department was out yesterday facility closed today. I’m halfway through digging my car out. It’s cleaned off but the apartment complex says they don’t do the parking lot. Assholes.
I’m pissed that I can’t send in my timecard and cash a five hundred dollar check.
What kind of shit hole complex isn’t responsible for their parking lot. No wonder everyone seems to hate landlords. I’d fall down and sue them.
WB, I was thinking the same thing. One ass over teakettle in the parking lot and a big lawsuit will get that slumlord plowing.
I agree. I’m pissed but I’m moving soon.
Did someone say “lawsuit”?!!!!
Ooops. Sorry. I’m in recovery. It’s a constant battle…
While you were fighting the “Ice Man Cometh” I opened the door from the kitchen to the deck, turned off the furnace, and left the door opened with 60-degree weather…I fired up the grill and barbecued some chicken.
Ha! For once we escaped.
I bbq in the snow. because i have testicles.
Preach it, brother!
After all the weather people on the news scared the bejezus out of everyone…..nuttin. Wet roads. 40 degrees. That’s it. I made the mistake of stopping at the grocery store for a couple things, not thinking panic had ensued. People were shoving shit in their carts by the fistfull. Ridiculous. You would have thought the Taliban was on the Fort Pitt Bridge.
It was 41 degrees this AM, dropped to 20. Windy and snowing. This weather definitately belongs in the Further Evidence catagory. FUBAR’d.
No problems driving last night or this morning. I walked out of the house this morning not sure what to expect. An area in my driveway had about a foot of snow/ice mix. There was enough ice in it I was able to walk across it without leaving a mark. I was worried that if I drove through I might get stuck but I wasn’t going to do any physical labor unless I did get stuck. To my suprise the crap is apparently a solid block of ice as my car didn’t leave a tire track in it. Should be fun when this crap starts to thaw.
I’m officially looking forward to April and the “Master’s” weekend.
Here in Saint Louis we had ice, then sleet, then snow. ALL day and night, yesterday into today.
My wife and I are both from Iowa and are used to a hard winter, but I swear people around here are totally winter-deficient.
The best part of the day was setting inside beside the fireplace, watching idiots try to traverse the intersecting streets/hills in front of our house.
One thing was confirmed: Just because you can afford a 50 thousand $ car, does not mean you know how to drive it.
Sidney,
Where in IA are you originally from? I grew up there but don’t miss it much.
We used to have a farm in Charles City, IA.
I pray you didn’t lose it to a tornado. Charles City seems to be a storm magnet!
30 plus years in Des Moines. I’ve been in Saint Louis for 3 years now, but still travel there every month for National Guard drill( 369 days ETS!!!!!) I love Iowa when it’s a nice temperature, but as you know, winters are hell!
My drive home last night was uneventful. The evil snow storm that was a coming wasn’t due until 10/10:30pm anyway. Most of it came blowing in while I slept.
The worst of this morning was shovelling out the wind packed snow & drifts offa the driveway. Then a fun filled ride in to work while busting mounds of snow in the road.
Here in beautiful Central Ohio, the only trouble I had was walking to and from the car. Our driveway looked like a hockey rink. I shuffled from the front door to the Toyota looking much like Tim Conway’s little old man character from the Carol Burnett Show!
I don’t recall Jeff asking about the weather. As I recall, the QOD was about our last drive home from work. AWG got it of course. The rest of the site has turned into the fuckin weather channel.
And of course, that’s natural. When you’re surrounded by snow and ice and you have to drive in it and your kids are out there somewhere surrounded by bozo drivers who should stay home, it’s reasonable to have the weather on the front burner.
It’s very nice in the Great Pacific Northwest today, but I really do feel for the Reporters having to traverse the tundra and avoid the terrible drivers. Please be careful.
Anybody living in the northwest is crazy to try to one-up anybody anywhere about weather. It rains here. Don’t let anybody kid you, it rains. And it can get depressing. The only reason Seattle isn’t the murder capital of the country is that people keep getting into accidents on the slick streets on their way to commit the crimes.
So, at 1335 on a bright, sunny, windless afternoon, I was just sitting on the front porch smoking a cigarette and sipping on a Sobe Lifewater. Not a twiglet was wavering on the surrounding evergreens. It was so quiet I could hear birds fucking in the trees. It’s February 2nd, and I’m sitting outside lisening to birds fucking in my shorts and t-shirt. OK, that sentence left some dangling modifiers, but Plot It Yourself. For one day in February, it’s July, and I’m sweating just from sitting on the front porch in my skivvies.
The secret secret is that this is why there are still people living here. Once a month or once a quarter, the weather is so breathtaking here that we wonder why we ever contemplated leaving or killing our brother-in-law. There will be no murders tonight, or, at least, fewer than usual. The sun is shining.
jtb
Here you go jtb, tonight’s temperature will be 9 degrees although with the wind chill it will feel below zero. Tomorrow’s high is 20 but with the wind chill it could feel like below zero.
Sorry jtb.
I work from home, so I have no “drive” to speak of. The point of my story was to tell of someone else’s crappy driving!!
Jeez, no need to apologize for staying safe, and I feel for you re: 9 degrees. I’m not a fan of telecommuting in general, but these weather conditions are a perfect “living room commute” fit.
I’m sure all the Reporters are fine snow drivers. If I somewhere implied anything else I regret it. Please stay warm-n-sweet.
jtb
I’ll be the first to admit it – I was born and raised in California and now I live in Texas. I have absolutely no business driving on snow and ice, so I don’t even bother.
I much prefer my “living room commute!”
I hope everyone stays warm today, and if you live where it’s currently warm; first, I’m green with envy right now, and second, bbq some chicken and have a margarita for me (and Valentin)!!
To quote the Hippy Dippy Weatherman…
“If you don’t like the weather…… move!”
I’ll keep my highways filled with snowbirds over highways filled with snow any day. They’re baby’s-ass smooth [the highways, not the snowbirds!] and 80mph is about average.
“Tonight’s forecst… DARK!”
I live down here in good ‘ol Tejas, and it’s FA-REEZING!!! When I got up this morning it was 13 degrees but I think it’s inching up towards 20.
The sleet and snow we got the other night melted slightly and refreezed into a nice, thick sheet of ice on every flat surface. Our street is like an ice-rink.
A little while ago, a total douche in a Dodge Ram went fishtailing down our street at too high a rate of speed. I really thought he was gonna lose it and smash into the brick wall across the street, but no such luck. When his tires hit the grass he regained traction, gunned it, and drove way too fast all the way down our street in the grass.
I’m pretty sure he was doing it on purpose. What a dick. I kinda wish he wudda ate it now. Jerk.
It’s supposed to be even colder tonight – 9 degrees. SINGLE DIGITS IN TEXAS!
No thanks.
Last night’s drive home was uneventful except for a train that blocked a major road for 20 god dammed fucking minutes while it shunted cars. At 5:30 in the afternoon during rush hour.
We were supposed to get blasted by some armageddon level blizzard, but nothing really happened except the kids got the day off school.
I live in Arkansas and every time I tell somebody how cold it is they say “I didn’t know it got that cold in Arkansas”. But yes everyone it does get into the teens and sometimes single digits and then a couple days later it will be 60 degrees.
Sorry that was supposed to be a reply to Short.
That’s hilarious. It sounds just like here. The saying goes “If you don’t like the weather in Texas, just wait a minute, cuz it’ll change”.
The day before the ice storm it was almost 60.
But seriously, if they cancel school again tomorrow, I might lose my mind and start drinking as soon as I wake up.
Bloody Mary’s anyone?
Single malt for me please, but I’m with ya.
.
School’s cancelled AGAIN. I’ve opted for Bailey’s and coffee (yes, I’m a girl, so shut it).
nowt wrong with a B&C.
Morer days off now means more sun and drinks time for you and your girl firends at the end of the school year. Think of it that way
While driving home last night I heard a news report about the storm hitting the mid-west and east. I experienced a quick sympathy shiver, then called TW to make sure she’d have my cocktail waiting when I got home.
When I got home, TW told me to go fuck myself and get my own damned cocktail. So that’s what I did. Not necessarily in that order.
Most of the nutty weather missed the Lower Cheesesteaks, thankfully. We do still have a foot of snow though. My commute was/is one flight of stairs and wasn’t too arduous, although occasionally there’s a delay due to a sleeping cat at Basement Junction.
On my drive home I had a difficult time deciding whether to roll the windows down or run the AC. The AC won.
Nothing here in Virginny, just some rain. It was nigh unto 50 degrees today. Monday morning there was some ice on the car windows, but the roads were fine.
After last winter, I figure we deserve some mild-itude.
.
Anybody seen Greg? I’m gonna have to go across the bridge and make him post?
Reporting in, Chuck. I know I’ve been a man of few words, here lately. At this time.
T. Farty, after seeing the mayhem on Lake Shore Drive, I’m glad I’m not in Chicago! Did my time in Illinois years ago. Talk about some bad-ass winters! Illinois knows how to make your life miserable.
Where’s Greg at? Is he sleeping in a fucking cab in Chicago?
omg how friggin cute is the bunker cam??
I don’t have a job. But if I did, my ride to work would have been uneventful. People in SW GA freak out about rain. OMG, wet stuff falling from the sky!! Wetting the road!!! What should we do? And freezing temperatures? Alert the media! Anyway, my deepest sympathy to those of you putting up with the snow and ice. I’ve lived throught that as well. The Hager twins naked. Hahahaha. Lots of pubic hair. I love the 70’s.
Whenever folks in Florida brag about their warm weather, there is one little detail they leave out. Essentially, the are playing Russian roulette with the weather. Because in any given year they run a very real risk of being subjected to a B-52 Arc Light bombing, in the form of a category 3, 4 or even 5 hurricane, which would wipe out damned near everything in sight. Worth the risk, you say? Great, have at it. But climatologists are predicting more frequent tropical cyclones which will be of increasing power and intensity. (Of course, everyone knows that global warming is a hoax, right? Right?) I’m just the messenger, though. Don’t shoot me, I’m only the guitar player.
Ya know what’s worse than snow? Fog.
M. Night shamamalan knew it, now I do too. After a quick jaunt to the Bee-utiful Mt. Airy lodge casino to see the Spin Doctors(can’t believe I just typed that) I hit the most sphincter clench inducing fog I’ve ever encountered… For miiiles. Fog. For miles. So dense I could barely make out the gauges on the dashboard. That + a beer or two at the concert and I was convinced multiple times I was careening into a ditch. No bueno.
For tonight’s Note of Faith, here is Mary Lou Lord covering Nick Saloman’s (Bevis Frond) tune, (Slow Down) The Lights Are Changing. Not technically a traffic tune, but close enough for snow work.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BRCWkRAdabA
Stay safe.
jtb
69 posts…. whenever I see the number 69 this always jumps to mind:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UTNi48f567E
It’s George Carlin, so no, it’s not safe for work.
Classic!
Nothing happened on the car ride home yesterday. There was lots of snow and the wind was blowing really hard, so you had the assklowns going 35 MPH in the fast lane. they do that when it[‘s sunny, so nothing new there.
What IS new and disturbing is what I saw in the lunch room today. Someone brought in White Castle brand coffee. Yes, the famous White Castle apparently makes coffee. That’s something I never thought I’d see. What, was someone really tight on money right after Christmas, so they decided not to spring for the expensive Wal-Mart brand coffee? Have to go with White Castle this month?
So it rained all kinds of stuff last night… nobody reported it’s raining men, hallelujah? You’d think that would happen more often than it does.
I get twitchy when the regulars don’t check in. Sorry.
Hey, I appreciate it!
My ride home yesterday was the same as it has been for 16years.
Open door, walk north about 70yds to car.
Leave parking lot, drive 3 minutes west to the By-Pass.
Drive 2 minutes North, leave bypass.
Drive approx 45seconds up street
Turn left into driveway.
Enter home.
Snow, Sleet, Rain, none of it really matters when you have 7 minute commute, even if I have to slow down to half speed I still get home in time for supper, and I got to listen to an entire song on the radio for a change.
During my last ride home from work: I drove cautiously on slippery roads but still passed a couple of cars, left the traction control ON for anything over parking lot speeds, stopped at Price Chopper for a few groceries, witnessed a not so lovely lady of the group Whiteous Trash-us in jogging pants and rubber boots, got home and parked on the road in preperation of clearing the 10″ of snow off of my laneway.
No ride home from work for me yesterday on account of the blizzard we got here in Wisconsin. I love snow days!
Off topic, but it was on my way to work.
Oklahoma has not handled the snow well and the roads are passable but still a mess. I drive a Toyota Echo and I have no problem with it but everyone in a truck gets stuck. 7-11 was a mess.
My main point is that I went into Subway to take advantage of 5 dollar February and their parking lot was shit. I parked out of the way but not in a space due to the lot being nothing but ruts.
The nice sandwich lady was just about to put on my veggies when the owner stormed in and this conversation happens:
Her – I don’t know who parked like that but they can’t stay there! (Like people stay at subway for years?)
Me – It’s mine I’ll move it in a second.
Her – Well you’re blocking people from getting in!
Me – I’m not and I’m not getting stuck in your parking lot.
Her – There’s plenty of places where you won’t get stuck.
Me – I’ll just walk out that door right now.
Her – I’m sorry.
Me – I’ll have light onions…
Damn right she’s sorry. Worst part was I walked to my car and forgot my chips. I moved my car and went back in for my chips and told her I forgot my chips but I did move my car. She said she wasn’t trying to be mean but she had a hard time getting in and she has a baby in the backseat. She says this as she’s putting on gloves to help out.
As I was leaving there was indeed a baby in the backseat and the car was running.
I was almost a GFY moment.
Nothing interesting EVER happens on my commute home from work. I live in a house exactly 428 paces from my desk. And yes…in the wintertime here in Alaska, I drive.
Mr. Hot…
Clint Eastwood, John Wayne, Goldie Hawn, Robert Mitchum, Bugs Bunny. Off the top of my head.
jtb
Scotland was a bit mental yesterday- even more than usual!
I had to collect sister from Glasgow airport and drive her and her Portland boyfriend to Errol. (which is kind of a job..)
It was gusting 80mph and raining like a wet day in Mordor. It was so bad it was funny. Like buckets of water being tossed on the windshield.
Aquaplaning is not fun.
Overtaking trucks doing 40mph with a solid wall of white at their sides is even less fun. It was like the Philidelphia Experiment. I expected there would be a road once I got through it but all I could see was water. For all I knew, when I came out the other side it could be1943.
I just had to commit and go for it. I found myself saying the 23rd Psalm at one point, which is never a good sign!
The road back was nice though.
Caracas?