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What Do You Think Would Be The Pros And Cons Of Standing Nine Feet Tall?

September 14, 2020 By Jeff 19 Comments

Robert Wadlow was reportedly 8′ 11″, and is the tallest person in recorded history. Here’s his Wikipedia page, which contains a lot of amazing facts. Back during the ’70s, when I was in Jr. High School, we were obsessed with the Guinness Book of World Records (it was a simpler time) and Robert Wadlow — along with Bob Hughes, the fattest man of all-time — generated a lot of highly-intellectual conversation. I’d like to open the comments section to a continuation of that. What do you suppose would be the biggest hassles of being so tall, and what do you think the benefits might be? I’ve included some amazing photos, which look like optical illusions. If we’d had these during 7th grade, our brains probably would’ve exploded. Please share your thoughts. And have a great day!

Doing a radio interview.

Aboard the Queen Mary with his mother.

Just chillin’ with a friend.

Not sure what’s going on here. But look at that shit!

With his high school class.

Dinner time.

Voting for the first time, in 1939.

Birthday boy!

With his family.

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Comments

  1. Ognir says

    September 14, 2020 at 2:28 pm

    I remember reading that book quite a bit – along wit Ripley’s Believe It or Not. I seem to recall a guy with super long fingernails and those two guys on the motorcycles.

    Reply
  2. Limey says

    September 14, 2020 at 3:40 pm

    I wonder where he shat? A normal toilet wouldn’t work very well.

    I bought a copy of the Guinness Book of World Records recently for my daughter, and they’ve sanitized it, taking out all the fun records. I don’t think Toxteth O’Grady’s even in it any more. The boring book sent us down a youtube wormhole of worthwhile records, here’s the world’s longest fart:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pu9pO-rCzy4

    Reply
  3. chill says

    September 14, 2020 at 8:36 pm

    I don’t think I’d care for it. If Mr. Wadlow’s story is representative, one of the cons would be an early death. Another would be walking with a cane in one’s 20s. And of course, not being able to fit in a (car, house, bed, etc.) I’m drawing a blank on pros.

    When I was a kid, the GBoWR was hours of fun. Later on, actual Guinness was more fun.

    Reply
  4. E2M says

    September 14, 2020 at 10:36 pm

    Being a “freak” probably ain’t that much fun. Unless whatever freakness that you have would bring you much wealth, enough to not live with the normal folk, just your friends.

    Reply
    • johnthebasket says

      September 15, 2020 at 3:23 am

      If your friends aren’t normal folk it ain’t worth it. Bingo. You lose either way.

      Mr. Wadlow found work with Ringling Brothers Circus in Madison Square Garden. The circus is a notoriously low payer, and notoriously populated by what Penn Jillette calls carnie trash. He says they will come to your assistance in a fight, then pick your pocket while they’re dusting you off. If they had the proper sportswear, they’d fit right in at Mar-a-Lago.

      jtb

      Reply
      • I'm_Not_Bob says

        September 15, 2020 at 8:01 pm

        Not Mar-a-Lago sportswear, more like Epstein island cabana wear. Google “Who flew 26 times on the Lolita express?”

        INB

        Reply
  5. AngryWhiteGuy says

    September 15, 2020 at 12:02 am

    I am 6’7. The biggest hassle is everyone, if at a grocery store, asking me to reach things for them. Robert would be eye level with the top shelf. The pro, I can pound people on top of their heads, if necessary.

    Reply
    • madz62 says

      September 15, 2020 at 11:15 am

      Pounding people on top of their heads is definitely necessary!

      Reply
    • Clueless says

      September 15, 2020 at 11:51 am

      Sheesh, now just wait a minute here. If I stand on tippy toes I’m 5’2″, and I was led to believe that it’s the civic duty of tall people to reach things for me. Guess I’m fortunate to never been pounded on top of my head, eh?

      Reply
      • AngryWhiteGuy says

        September 15, 2020 at 11:19 pm

        Not you Clueless! It is those OTHER people.

        Reply
        • AngryWhiteGuy says

          September 15, 2020 at 11:21 pm

          And I don’t really mind reaching for top shelf items for people. Making them jump to take it out of my hand is the best part.

          Reply
          • johnthebasket says

            September 16, 2020 at 1:48 am

            AWG, my brother, if you combine holding a desired item just out of the reach of an intelligent mammal with unprovoked head bopping, you are toward the front of the line for an executive aquarium position with Sea World. Why abuse highly evolved multiple amphibians for free when you can get paid for it?

            As long as Jeff wants to talk about human freak shows and the debasement of people who stand out because of a physical characteristic over which they exert no control, maybe we should spread the love to our captive cousins. Come to think about it, had MW existed a generation earlier, Robert Wadlow would have made a perfect marine mammal non-feeder. Since he didn’t make it out of his 20s, there must be a job opening. Bop those marine creatures; let them know which mammalian species is in charge of expediting the tsunami of global climate change. Live short and prosper.

            John

            Reply
            • Mookie325 says

              September 20, 2020 at 9:42 pm

              Bravo.

              Reply
    • Randall B Robinson says

      September 21, 2020 at 6:02 pm

      my heart bleeds for you. I’m 6’10” and I was in the air force. nothing fits tall people, doors are too short ,mirrors show your chest and every asshole in the world asks you how tall you are and if you play basketball

      Reply
  6. madz62 says

    September 15, 2020 at 1:30 pm

    Well, somebody has to bring it up so it may as well be me.

    I would imagine his sex life is terrible. On the other hand, his crotch is eye level to the ladies, so I could very well be mistaken. But I’m thinking, no, he’s not getting any.

    Honestly, I can’t think of anything positive being 9 feet tall. You can’t buy regular clothes and I’ll bet those big and tall shops wouldn’t cater to him either. Imagine this guy sitting in front of you at the movies or a concert? There’s no way he’d fit into a plane seat – even first class. Everything would have to be custom made.

    Reply
    • The4thStooge says

      September 15, 2020 at 3:30 pm

      Yeah, that’s the same thing I was thinking, along with the tallest (then) living woman…Sandy Allen. Where would she find tampons, etc. that were large enough? (Yes, I thought of this in 1979/80 when my older sister brought the GBoWW home from a book club thing.)
      As for Mr. Wadlow, his circulation and heart had to suck. Growing that fast that quickly…you’d never really get used to that body.

      Reply
  7. chill says

    September 19, 2020 at 6:13 pm

    I went shopping for eyeglasses today and saw a frame labeled Big Man Fit. I hadn’t thought about it before, but I suppose there are people so “big” that regular glasses don’t fit.

    And RIP RBG.

    Reply
    • johnthebasket says

      September 20, 2020 at 2:58 pm

      Odd, I get the Small Man Fit reading glasses, but the big man fit gloves (insert imoji here).

      As for the Notorious RBG, she will be remembered long after much louder jurists and politicians of her day are forgotten. She deserves the rest, and she damn well deserves the peace. Rock on, Ruth.

      John

      Reply
      • Mookie325 says

        September 20, 2020 at 9:44 pm

        Bravo x2.

        Reply

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