I touched on this subject briefly in the latest episode of the WORLD FAMOUS podcast, and would like to get your thoughts. I spoke about a few candies that I would put in the “terrible” category, including Circus Peanuts, Milk Duds (dental destroyers), those wax bottles with a quarter-ounce of Kool-Aid inside (as well as their first cousin: wax lips), and those strange dots stuck to paper. But the world’s worst, in my opinion, is the Necco Wafer. WTF?? You can hear a snippet of my comments above. And it turns out, I’m sad to say, they ARE American. Man, oh man.
I know this is a half-assed shit-crumb of an update. But, as you might have heard, these are uncertain times. We’ll get back to it shortly. I hope.
In the meantime, please tell us what you consider to be the worst candies you’ve encountered. Use the comments.
And I’ll see you guys again soon.
Have a great day!
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Candy Corn if it’s Fall and Peeps if it’s Spring.
I agree with you on circus peanuts. Peeps are also bad. A popular candy (I think) that I despise are Cadbury Eggs. I just can’t take that runny yellow and white stuff. It reminds me of snot.
Agreed on the Cadbury eggs not to mention that goop inside is so sweet I thought I’d have a seizure.
I was brought up Catholic and Necco’s were the quintessential “Body of Christ” Communion candy. Hell, we even had a stemmed candy dish we transformed into a chalice to complete the effect. The taste was OK – I still buy a bag once in a while for nostalgia.
There is a candy I have no idea what the name is. It’s a brown rectangle wrapped in clear cellophane and the nastiness is dotted with sesame seeds. As a kid there were always a bunch of them at the bottom of the Halloween bag.
Someone handed me a Mounds bar the other day and it was a little stale and within 18 seconds of taking a bite I was rooting through my bag looking for dental floss. It’s still in my desk drawer getting staler every day.
Smashed Wonder Bread worked in a pinch, and dad’s dress shirts worn backwards made decent vestments for every day Mass. Don’t remember what we used for a chalice tho.
And throw that stale candy bar away, madz.
madz, I forgot all about that nasty crap covered with sesamie seeds! Definitely the worst candy ever!!
Wow, I think I found it – Sesame Honey Crunch. Looks as nasty as I remember it.
https://www.candynation.com/sesame-honey-crunch
Dave’s not here, man… yes!!! I can heave just looking at the picture!
Necco Wafers are horrible, including the Valentine’s hearts that I promptly throw away upon being gifted. Other candies I don’t like: Mary Janes, butterscotch, anything with caramel, candy corn, peeps, circus peanuts, Abba Zabba, Dum Dums and Tootsie Rolls.
It honestly didn’t surprise me that the company that makes Necco, New England Candy Company, declared bankruptcy in 2018 and was sold to Spangler Candy Company.
I actually like a Necco now and then. The worst candy I could think of was Mary Janes. After you crack your tooth on one, it will generate dental work which can then be removed by Milk Duds.
Candy canes: the red part is OK if the cane is somewhat fresh, but the white part is useless no matter what. The fruit-flavored Life Savers suck too.
I remember a candy flavor called horehound. It was supposed to be an old-timey treat, but my recollection is that it tasted like Ricola.
That sounds more like Uncle Bob than a candy.
Thank goodness, I was afraid I was the only one who didn’t have a problem with Necco wafers. When I saw the headline though, I immediately thought of the dots on the paper, where you would peel them off and half the paper would come off with them. Who the hell thought of that??? I also was never a fan of Smarties…felt like I was just eating straight sugar from the bowl.
There is a fine line between Necco Wafers and Tums Fruit-Flavored Antacid Tablets.
Perhaps, even in the carefree summer days of childhood, industrial marketers were preparing us all for the ulcer-inducing years of adulthood …
Normally I don’t have to deal with bad candies, they are easy enough to avoid. However, my mom has gotten it in her mind that a box of Russell Stover’s chocolates would be a hit with my kids. We all generally hate them but will eagerly pick out the coconut, peanut butter, and nut based ones (in that order) and then it will linger for a few days while we each turns peeking at it – hoping that we missed one of the good ones. The caramel ones are bad but the creams are inedible. Finally we end up throwing it out with about half of the box left. I love my mom and can’t bring myself to tell her.
I think Russell Stover is only still around because of the format – a box of “fancy” chocolates.
You are so fucking funny my childhood friend! Just listening to you describe Necco wafers made tears roll. You are awesome Jeff K!
I gots the sads tonight. My brother in law succumbed to this disease. Shit got too real for me.
Lets talk about rolos. Those little thimble looking bastards of chocolate enrobed blobs of caramel will twang any filling you ever had in the last 40 years.
It’s not much to offer, but love to you and your family.
madz,
I’m not here anymore, but I’ll return for this. My deepest condolences for your loss. It’s horrible and there’s no way to make it not horrible, but we can keep hugging and loving the people we care about who are still here. Small solace, but it’s all we have. My love and sympathy to your entire family.
John
Well said. So sorry to hear this, madz; please be well and keep your family well, and know that you are not alone.
(Miss ya, jtb)
John,
It’s nice to see you. I hope you’ll be back one day.
Yes John, I miss you as well. Everyone please stay as safe as possible, it’s all we can do right now until medical science finds a solution, which it will eventually.
Mike
Wow, sorry. Good grief, I can’t imagine. By the time this is over I fear most of us will personally lose someone.
Madz,
I’m so sorry. Love to you and yours.
All of you people are the best! This happened within hours. Blink he’s alive.. Blink hes gone.
Now to get down to biz.
Chill, limey , clueless and a different Jeff – holy smokes thank you. It means so much!
Jtb. Time to kiss and make up with your surf reporter family.
Love you all.
The suckiest part is my sister is still coughing and can’t see or hug her yet. Gosh let this be over soon for everyone that’s going through this. Love and peace to all.
Madz,
I’m so sorry. I think Limey is correct. This is bad.
Anyway! Rolos make the perfect Christmas candy. On a cookie sheet place small pretzels and put an unwrapped Rolo on top of each. Warm them in the oven and mash a pecan into the warm Rolo. Damn fine mix of sweet, salty and crunch!
no no get my name off there Jeff
Madz, sorry to hear this heartbreaking news. I do hope your sister is okay. It’s a whole new story when it hits this close to home.
And I apologize if I’m all over the place. I know millions more are grieving too. Had to vent. It’s over. Sorry for bringing down the candy store.
No apologies necessary. Thoughts are with you.
Malt balls. Even if they are all jazzed up for Easter!
Pez..definitely Pez..never have been sure what the flavor is, pretty much up there with neco with a goofy dispenser
Black licorice. Why does that exist?
Reminds me of a funny story. When my wife and I were first married, I was making some traditional baked goodies for Christmas, and I needed some of that flavored extract from the grocery store. It comes in all flavors, like peppermint and raspberry, but I needed some anise. My wife called me form the grocery store to ask me again what she needed to pick up. I told her it was a spice, but not a powder; it was oil. She still wasn’t sure, so I told her to just ask somebody where to find it. She paused for s second, then firmly said, “I am NOT asking them where I can find anus oil!”
At least she didn’t ask for anus seed, or anus seed oil.
Clerk: “Anus oil? Sorry, you’re in the wrong store for that, ma’am. You’ll need to go out to that purple-and-pink cinder block building by the truck stops …”
Black licorice has a history, at least. Like horehound I guess. But WTF is up with Twizzlers? What value do they add to the world?
Peeps. What a waste of sugar, assuming they are made of sugar.
The modern version of popeye cigarettes. Probably made in china now out of mystery chemicals.
Ladies and gentlemen I present to you: raisinets and dots as far as shitty candy goes.
It seems like you might have let Goobers off the hook. Don’t.
Raisinets are a Tier 4 candy.
Dots are cack.
Cack lol…
How could I forget Raisinets??? Truly among the top 3 worst candies of all time.
Mike
I am not a candy eater (not on a high horse here) because I am not into sweets since I was a kid. But If I do eat some it’s Nibs licorice. Otherwise just fruit is enough.
And maybe some Toberlone.
Nibs and Toblerone?
I see you have taken the high road of Quality over Quantity …
Quality always better than quantity. Any better suggestions?
While we’re being rude about certain candy… I and many other Europeans think American chocolate tastes nasty, especially Hershey’s. Decades ago I thought Hershey’s chocolate had a vomit like aftertaste, and it was only a couple of years ago that I found out that Hershey’s intentionally add butyric acid to their chocolate. Butyric acid is also found in human vomit. If you grew up with Hershey’s chocolate you apparently don’t notice it.
YUCK! I can’t stand the taste of Nestle chocolate. It’s way too waxy. Now I’ll never look at Hershey’s the same way again. And there’s a huge basket of them on the desk in front of the office.
Also, Bazooka bubble gum is horrible and I chomped on that daily as a kid.
Butyric acid! I wonder what the thinking was.
I use chocolate more as an ingredient than a snack, but there is some good stuff made in the US… Scharffen Berger comes to mind.
Never heard of Scharffen Berger, I’ve booked marked them, thanks. Belongs to Hershey’s 😉
What stores carry Scharffen Berger bars? I’ve not noticed them at Wegmans or Whole Foods.
Hershey’s add butyric acid to stop the milk going funky during production.
Ack!!
I found out about the Hershey’s acquisition after I posted. Seems to me that I’ve bought it at both Wegmans and Whole Foods; certainly one or the other. But grocery stock varies from one store to the next. And with the Recent Unpleasantness, things are all over the place.
Another good brand of chocolate is El Rey, but it’s not made in the US. I know for a fact I’ve bought it at Whole Foods.
“Recent Unpleasantness” makes me think of this eerily prescient comedy skit:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnd1jKcfBRE
Rainbow ice cream back in the day. Why?
There are now some ‘trendy’ new shops that are taking destroying ice cream to a new level with nasty flavours. Horseradish and such for outrageous prices.
We called it spumoni. I did not care for it.