The first thing that crossed my mind when I saw it? If I’d thought of something like that, I definitely would’ve done it! Especially ten or so years ago. In any case, this is supposedly a yearlong recap of some unknown Reddit user’s asstivity last year. As you can see, there are three possibilities: zero, one, or two shits per day. I guess that’s reasonable, but what I find to be amazing is all the BLUE days, which signifies zero. Zero shits. I don’t want to get too personal here, but my calendar would be almost 100% brown, with a smattering of red. A mere 4.1 poops per week? I don’t understand that; it’s not a world I know. Maybe he lives in Wisconsin and can’t get enough of the local cheeses? I’m unclear. One thing I can almost guarantee: he’s not a coffee drinker. Also, Thursday is poop day? What’s that all about it? It’s bizarre. I linked to this at Facebook, but people were afraid to click through. I guess they thought it was a photo gallery? Heh. Understandable. Let me know your thoughts on this important matter. Use the comments section, and I’ll see you guys again soon.
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This is an example of data-driven analysis, and there’s an essential problem with the original shitpost. There are no correlation variables. You can’t just gather single variable data for a year and display the results in three different formats and establish ANYTHING. You need to correlate the initial data with other variables. In this case, trivially, you could log how much nutritional fiber you consumed each day as a second variable, and how much liquid you consumed as a third. NOW you’re in the correlation business, which puts you just down the block from the causation business, and establishing statistical causation is the kind of analysis that can change behavior and ultimately change the world.
I wouldn’t do that trivial diet stuff though. I’d be correlating shit statistics with variables like Trump daily tweet rates, the number of inches the border wall is extended each day, and the number of times Rand Paul says, “Government doesn’t solve problems — government IS the problem” in each 24-hour period. I don’t drink coffee, but when Trump starts on one of his tweetstorms, I’m apt to head for the head to make a deposit.
In summary, politics aside, that’s why this is such a boring topic. If you’re interested in exploring data-driven analysis and the use of multiple correlation variables, check out the work that Nate Silver and his team are doing over at five thirty-eight. It’s first-rate data-driven analysis, and they help walk the uninitiated through the process with daily articles and semi-weekly podcasts. And they somehow manage to get a fair number of laughs out of a subject that could be a little dry in less capable hands.
A Different Jeff says
… “I’d be correlating shit statistics with variables like Trump daily tweet rates …”
I think you would discover a strong correlation. The following also illustrates why DJT wears such long neckties …
You’ll only have four more years to worry about the length of his ties or his tweets.
Some people have way too much time on their hands! I almost wish they listed what they ate everyday. How are we supposed to know what triggered this erratic shit storm? Perhaps he had some tainted moo goo gai pan? Or just a boring turkey sandwich. Needs more information.
I don’t get how there are so many 2 day (and even 3 day) stretches of no activity. I was on vacation last weekend and didn’t go for 2 days in a row and was genuinely concerned about the possibility of having to shit in a ski resort mountain bathroom. It didn’t happen… but the fear was there.
Same with hopping on an international flight… I’m going to be doing that tomorrow. You can guarantee there will be booze and coffee in the lounge for a solid hour before I get on that plane so I can evacuate everything prior to hopping the pond. Get ready Miami Centurion Lounge…
A Different Jeff says
September 24: “Longest Streak” … heh!
Where I come from, we call those ‘skid marks.’
I’m with Jeff, I’m definitely a mostly brown calendar. And NEVER go more than one day without a poop. That one poop in 5 days (April 15-19) is scary! He should have included a stat called “poops that required a plunger”, because I wouldn’t want to be near his toilet on April 20th!
Wow, I had surgery last year and went 3 days without crapping, even with the laxatives. That was an all-time record. Other than that, I’ve probably missed a total of about 5 days in my life without a nice healthy dumpage. This dude definitely does not enjoy a healthy diet!
In the summer of 2016 I underwent cardio-bypass surgery after a pretty devastating heart attack. I was in the hospital for ten days. I’m a slightly assertive hospital patient, and on the third or fourth day, I asked the hospital dietician to come to my room for a visit. I told her the food was bland and tasteless and the vegetables were mushy. I love vegetables, frequently eating corn and peas for dinner and carrots for dessert, but I just couldn’t get the hospital food down. She told me that if they served tasty food they’d have to raise the room rates. I told her that between the horrible food and the fact that the Republican nominating convention was on every channel of the limited selection on the hospital TV feed, that I’d lost my appetite, maybe permanently.
I told my surgeon I would promise to do three extra laps around the ward each day with the Grateful Dead on my iPod for dance inspiration if he’d let me have a damn hamburger. They brought me a veggie burger with no condiments which tasted like ambrosia compared with the crap I’d been trying to eat, but it was too late. I continued my unintentional hunger strike and left the hospital 11 pounds lighter than I’d entered it. The surgeon said I only had another 60 pounds to go if I wanted to live until the next Republican national nominating convention. My plea that Muhammad Ali beat George Foreman at my current weight fell on deaf ears: The surgeon pointed out the Ali was six inches taller and had actual muscles. On the other hand, I’m still here.
And the story of how they got me to defecate is not well suited for mixed company, even on a site that specializes in dick jokes.
Not a single day with more than two shits? That’s just not credible. And yes, he should have included notes about his diet. Also notes on the turds’ texture. Perhaps tasting notes
I just noticed that is not the 2019 calendar. Christmas was on a Wednesday. This whole thing is a lying piece of, well, shit!
The Qweezy Mark says
I thought the same but then noticed the bar graph underneath. This is simply a calendar that put Monday instead of Sunday as the first day of the week. Pretty sure it’s a European thing.
So this guy (or girl for all we know) never shat on a Monday in December? That’s just wrong…
The first thing that jumped out at me is that the decimal places are denoted by commas. So just about anywhere in the world except the US or Britain. And it’s in English, which doesn’t tell us much, but I’d still guess Australia.
The Yodler says
“There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics” Mark Twain.
Giving the phrase “anal-retentive” a whole new meaning.