You know, like a late Saturday afternoon? Lunch is in the rear view mirror and dinner is still hours away. You’re hungry as a sumbitch, and something needs to happen. Or it’s 8 pm, and dinner didn’t quite fill the void? Chips and crap like that just ain’t gonna get it done. You need some real food, but don’t have the energy or wherewithal to do any actual cooking. Or you’re getting ready to hit the dormancy platform at 1:00 am and realize you’re really freaking hungry?
What do you do? I have trouble with this. I always want something more substantial than just a bowl of Rice Krispies (although that ain’t bad, especially with sliced bananas), but don’t want to break out actual pans ‘n’ shit. I need some tips. I know a sandwich is always a good option, but a good one requires some effort. And some ingredients. I don’t like just a couple of slices of ham on two pieces of sad and flaccid bread. That’s garbage. It’s hard to maintain and calibrate all the proper sandwich components. Ya know?
It might seem weird, but I like to make a giant container of salad every weekend. I buy all sorts of ingredients and it takes me an hour to chop it all up. That hits the spot until Tuesday or so, when it starts going brown on us. So, that’s not an everyday solution.
A simple one that’s really good and satisfying is two scrambled eggs on toast, with a couple of slices of sharp cheese. I do that several times per week, and it’s nothing short of delightful. And it takes roughly four minutes to prepare. But I feel like there should be many other options like that. I should have a dozen such things in my arsenal, but it’s like I have a block and can’t think of others. Oh… grilled cheese is a one good. And I make a damn good grilled cheese, thank you very much.
But help me out here. I’m struggling. I need more between-meal ideas. I’m very limited in my options, ’cause I’m snacktarded. You’d think a man who throws such a large shadow would have this down to a science by now. But I feel like I’m in need of outside help. What do you eat when it’s between feeding times, and you need more than just a handful of Funyuns, or whatever? Help me out, won’t you? Tell us all about it in the comments.
And please don’t suggest soup. Soup is bullshit.
Before I call it a day here, I’d like to alert you to a new episode of the WORLD FAMOUS podcast, which I posted late last night/early this morning. I like this one, which is somewhat rare. Check it out right here, or wherever you get podcasts.
And I’ll see you guys again soon.
Have a great day!
Support us with a monthly $4 donation at Patreon, and get an extra podcast episode every week! We’re also at Venmo (@thewvsr) and PayPal (email@example.com). Thank you, guys!
Ray Watier says
Jeff, I believe the socially/politically correct term is snackdifferentlyabled.
I myself don’t think I snack as “snacking” would imply a periodic cessation of consumption. I graze… but in order to help you out, let’s say that I do all the dinner cooking. I always cook more than would be required for dinner as a strategic snacking enablement plan (SSEP).
Last night’s 11 pm snack was a microwaved bowl of lemon chicken and chicken/veg fried rice. The night before was a microwaved bowl of stewing beef and egg noodles (there may also have been some peas and carrots but I can’t confirm). Today’s elevensies was the last of the stir fried steak, peppers and onions in the remaining fajita shell. Warmed up it twas as good as when originally plated.
But when the fridge is empty – nuts.
Hot Fuzz says
Dammit. I revealed my secret identity.
Hot Fuzz Ray. I like it!
Hot Fuzz says
Yeah after going in to hiding for a few years I was a little out of practice with the user name upon my return. I am not a smart man.
Jeff’s writing is as sharp, as funny and as engaging as I remember it being.
And please don’t suggest soup. Soup is bullshit.
(sounds like a punk rock lyric)
I eat pistachio nuts.
One word: Nuts
There are always brats here. Two brats, smothered in cheese and mustard always gets me from lunch to dinner.
Hah! I was thinking snotty children.
Ha. I ate them while on lockdown!
Leftovers. I try to make a big batch of (something) on the weekend. This week it was pastitsio, and I just polished off a large plate thereof. I also try to keep some microwavable savories in the freezer for emergencies like that. Frozen burritos, for example.
And homemade-from-scratch soup is the opposite of bullshit. Campbell’s and its ilk are, of course, pure bullshit.
Campbell’s cream of celery is not bullshit.
This is a hill I will die on.
Now I have to make homemade cream of celery soup this weekend.
Chill, if you have the time, could you see if it’s possible to make low-sodium soup? I always thought the Campbell people were trying to kill me and make it look like an accident, but some cookbooks also call for a small truckload of sodium in soup: not a dump truck, but one of those cool Volvo trucks that is capacious but corners well. My cardiologist disagrees violently (with the cookbook: she seems to like the Volvo people). (She might also be wondering why we are talking about snacking when most of us are living like characters in an Edgar Rice Burroughs novel and dressing like we’re preparing to rob a gas station, but live and be well.)
I heat meat in pots, but I don’t cook or bake. I know people who do, but they are all a virus away and I remain masked. If good soup can’t be made without destroying what is left of my heart, then so be it: It is a good day to die.
I think a lot of the soup companies came out with sodium free soups along with organic lines and heart healthy and a slew of others.
One soup that is almost a full blown meal: French Onion! – beef based broth, onions, bread and cheese. I know what I’m making this weekend.
(psssst.. and welcome back jtb).
OK, Madz, I checked out Campbell’s recommendation for “Heart Healthy – Healthy Request” soup. The one they recommended was “Mexican-Style Chicken Tortilla”. One can, about the amount I’d eat, has 1,025 mg of sodium. So if I eat a few crackers the rest of the day and night, I could chow down on their canned soup. This is what I’m talking about. I might as well just start taking hydroxychloroquine and enjoy the mood swings on my way out.
But I appreciate your advice and greeting. It’s always nice to see you.
Make sure they are unsalted crackers!
Welcome back, John!
I didn’t end up making that soup. When I do, I always just add salt “to taste,” which means enough to taste good. Which is probably also enough to make the doctor say a bad word. The soup base is chicken stock (not salty broth – I buy it from a local farm, which is almost as good as homemade stock and a lot less work). Other major ingredients are butter, cream (of course) and a few inoffensive flavorings. Cook the veg, puree in a blender, finish with cream. Full recipe on request.
The doc just gave me The Speech regarding diet, so that adds a new degree of challenge.
I’ll take the recipe please, but I don’t have access to fancy chicken stock (and I’m not making it).
This can be made with asparagus, spinach, celery, etc. If making ahead of time, add cream at serving time. Makes 8 cups.
— Ingredients —
6 Tbsp. unsalted butter
1 medium onion, minced, about 3/4 c.
2 garlic cloves, minced or pressed
1/2 tsp. grated nutmeg
2 pounds $VEGETABLE, sliced. If using asparagus, save some cooked tips for $
4 cups homemade chicken stock or store bought low-sodium chicken broth
1 cup heavy cream
salt & pepper
1/3 cup Madeira or dry sherry
juice of 1 lemon, about 2 tsp.
— Procedure —
Melt butter in the pot over medium-low heat. When foaming subsides, add onions and saute, stirring frequently, until softened (about 4 minutes). Stir in garlic and nutmeg; cook until fragrant, about another minute.
Increase heat to medium. Add sliced $VEGETABLE and stir to coat with butter. Cook, stirring occasionally, about 7 minutes, then cover pot. Cook over lowest heat until $VEGETABLE is softened and has released all the liquid it’s going to (about 20 minutes).
Add chicken stock, cover and bring to a simmer, then reduce heat to very low and simmer until $VEGETABLE is fully tender (about 20 minutes longer).
Puree the soup in a blender in batches until smooth, filling the blender jar only halfway each time. Put the pureed soup in the bowl until finished pureeing. When the pot is empty, rinse and dry it.
Return the pureed soup to the pot. Add Madeira and cream and bring to a simmer over low heat. Add lemon juice and season to taste with salt and pepper.
Woops that part about cooked tips should be: “If using asparagus, save some cooked tips for use as a garnish. La de da.”
“1/3 cup Madeira” aka “cheating” 🙂
Thanks, I am going to give that recipe a go with asparagus when The Incident is over. I get the best asparagus from local Amish farms normally. The stuff supermarkets have been delivering has been sad.
I eat a lot of nuts, too. No, not the blank staring people on the bus. Cashews, almonds, peanuts. Or, on occasion a peanut butter sandwich.
I’ve noticed, though, when I’m at work, I’ll go into the kitchen and eat anything that isn’t nailed down. Shi t I’d normally shun at home. Bunny ice cream cones, shitty cookies, pretzels. It all looks so much more appealing.
Oh and cheese and crackers. That will fill the empty belly void.
Dr Buford says
1) nuts. I keep cashews, roasted salted almonds and pecans, and pistachios on hand at all times.
2) cheese. Always 4 or 5 types of cheese. Goat/sheep, Swiss of some kind, colby jack or cheddar, Brie, etc.
3) some kind of animal protein. I always cook extra meat when I make dinner and bin it separately and I buy/make jerky and hunter’s sausage and usually have some cured meat on hand.
4) 1+2+3, maybe with some fruit or crackers. I chop a lot of cheese and sausages on the weekends and can throw a cheese or charcuterie board together in 2 minutes.
ProTip: Branston Pickle. It’s a brutish thing that looks disgusting but kicks ass w cheeses and meats.
I bought a big-ass and a small Rubbermaid Freshworks produce saver. I can get about ten days out of berries and almost a week out of salad greens using it. Should help keep salad around longer…
surreal killer says
You’re right; soup is bullshit. Its encoded into the 7th amendment to the IS constitution after all…
I get shitty little Totino’s pizzas, three for a dollar or something close to it. Cook one of those bad boys in a toaster oven and you’re set.
I’m late to the party, but making a suggestion anyway. I like cottage or ricotta cheese with fruit. If I have fresh fruit, I’ll eat that, but these days, I often don’t, so diced peaches in the little individual cups (like you’d put in a kid’s lunchbox) works great.
Cheese (real cheese, not that processed crap) and Keebler multi-grain club crackers. Probably a bit of sodium in there but the rest is actually healthy. Also Planter’s heart-healthy nuts. They’re lightly salted, so if I really want to stress out about my BP I’ll opt for the unsalted almonds. I do like Hot Fuzz Ray’s suggestion for overcooking in anticipation of the necessary future snacking.
“… if you’re inclined to lecture me from atop the high horse, I’d like to encourage you not to.”
I wondered how long that would last, right Jeff?