I apologize in advance. This one is going to be a quickie, ’cause I gots no time. As I type this, the younger boy is heading over to KFC to purchase, on my behalf, their much ballyhooed new chicken sandwich. My instructions: If it comes in a meal, get the meal. If not, just get that deep-fried poultry ball as a standalone. “Um, OK,” was his puzzled, but used-to-it response. As soon as it arrives, I’ll go upstairs, try it out, and return to the bunker for my review. How’s that sound?
Have you tried this thing? What are your thoughts? When everybody was whipped into a frenzy about the Popeye’s chicken sandwich, I tried it a few times, and thought it was fine. Actually, pretty good. But nowhere near as tasty as Chick-fil-A, and much saltier. I’ve had the Popeye’s sandwich maybe three or four times now, because people at work love ’em, and don’t really have a need to ever eat one again. I sort of enjoy it while I’m having it, then feel my blood pressure spiking due to the sodium load. It’s fairly disgusting.
OK, he’s here… Give me ten minutes.
I’m back. He was able to secure a meal, and chose Coke as the drink. Here’s the reality pic:
It was decent, but I’m not blown away. The chicken is extra-crispy, and there’s mayo and pickles on it. The bun is supposedly buttered, which is a nice touch. But is it better than Chick-fil-A? Ha! That’s my answer. It’s bigger, and probably cheaper. But not anything super-special. It’s a standard-issue fast food chicken sandwich. I took a couple of bites with the pickles, just to get the full experience. Then I plucked those nasty bastards off. I could still taste the residue, but it was now a muted nastiness.
I don’t know. There’s so much chicken sandwich hype. This thing is fine, definitely not terrible. But it’s not as good as what you could get at Wendy’s for the last hundred years or so. I feel like there might be a salt issue with this one, too. I can already feel it taking hold. Also, there was a stringiness that was slightly off-putting. Every time I took a bite it was still tethered to the mothership, if you know what I mean. I had to move the sandwich far away from my mouth to snap the cord. Not great.
Apparently Burger King is coming out with a new chicken sandwich, as well. I don’t know if it’s out, but I do know I haven’t tried it. Here are my rankings, so far:
1. Chick-fil-A (with a bullet!)
2. Wendy’s Homestyle (available since the Carter Administration, or some shit)
The last two could flip-flop and I wouldn’t have an issue with it. Six of one, half a dozen of the other.
What are your thoughts on this important issue? How would you rank the FAST FOOD chicken sandwich? I put fast food in all caps, ’cause I’m not talking about some diner on the outskirts of Tulsa that “does” the best chicken sandwich in the world. I’m talking about shitty fast food, OK? Chick-fil-A is easily the best, in my opinion. And the tried and true Wendy’s Homestyle is better than any of the new interloper sandwiches. Right? Right. Please share your thoughts.
And if you didn’t have a chicken sandwich for lunch, what did you have? We need to know.
I have to go to work now. One more day of “opportunities” to navigate, then two glorious days off.
Have a great one, my friends!
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Lester Bangs says
A bag of Carolina Country Snacks Hot and Spicy Pork Rinds emblazoned with irritating bible verses and a Coke Zero Cherry. They’re super inconsistent, most are nice and crispy but then you get the occasional jawbreaker wad of spice and probably pig teeth.
Farmer’s Daughter says
Lunch was a leftover grilled brat and potato salad. A couple of weeks ago I tried McD’s “new” crispy chicken deluxe and found it to be quite good. The bun had a slight sweet taste to it and the chicken was quite crunchy. The crunchier the better in my book. I would order it again. #1 chicken sandwich would probably be Chic-Fil-A with the Mickey D one as #2.
Lunch was poha. (go here if you don’t know what that is, just like I didn’t a month ago: https://www.indianhealthyrecipes.com/poha-recipe-kanda-batata-poha/)
With your distaste for pickles, I’m surprised at your #1 sammie.
The Qweezy Mark says
I think I might like me some poha, but definitely hold the coconut for me. Extra onions and peanuts, please!
Root 66 says
Lunch? A bag of peanuts and a Dr. Pepper!
I tried the new McDonald’s Chicken Sandwich last week. It is essentially a poor man’s knock-off version of Chick-fil-A’s famous offering. It even came in its own foil bag. But it was remarkably quite tasty, and the potato bun was excellent! The main difference between it and CFA was the extra couple of bucks I still had in my wallet. Now I want to test drive their ‘Spicy’ version!
Joe T says
I can’t believe you ate it with mayo and pickles! Your commitment to authenticity is admirable. I made sure my Popeyes’ came with no mayo and when I get around to trying the KFC, I’ll do the same.
The Qweezy Mark says
You eventually caved to the blue cheese. The mayo will be next. You mark my words, mister!
What kind of problem do you have with coconut? Does it irritate your colon?
Ozzie Bucco says
You need to add the actual picture of the sandwich to the comparison with the advertised products.
I really like the spicy version of the Popeye’s chicken sandwich, I’d rather have that than CFA which I also rate.
3. [Eddie Murphy voice] My house chicken sandwich – buttered brioche bun and the “red bag” chicken fillets from Aldi, with some mayo.
Lunch was a mug of tea.
I have difficulty eating fast food anywhere after my ‘Burger King’ experience.
I order a flame broiled burger, opened up the wrapper and as I lifted it to my mouth to take the first delicious bite, I saw a black pube hair sticking out the front of it.
Not a fan of eating out anywhere after that.
The Yodler says
My rankings so far. I haven’t had McDonald’s chicken sandwich yet.
1. Chick-fil-A (Damn good).
2. Popeye’s (Nice crunch, but the mayo is where the flavor is).
3. Wendy’s (Meh).
I had Chick-Fil-A today; mostly because I had to kill 30 minutes waiting for the pharmacist to return from his lunch break. I hate chicken with pickles, so I order without. I can feel my feet and ankles start to swell after all that salt. I don’t eat at McDonalds snd I’ve never had Popeyes. for my money, Bojangles has the best chicken biscuits ( not buns).
surreal killer says
Verdict from the one and only time I’ve tried the new KFC chicken sammich: I thought it had a strange after-taste, and I had some significant digestive issues for about 8-10 hours thereafter. Let’s just say I am glad that I was well stocked with TP in the house. Did my body reject the daggum thing? It seems like the food in general at KFC has become such a disappointment over the last several years. Too bad, because they used to have good stuff back in the day. I also feel damn thrilled with the return of a normal MLB season. I took a couple of hours off from my work-at-home schedule to just sit back and appreciate that on Thursday. It seriously did my mental health some very real good there. Very goodly indeed!
I’m really not interested in baseball, although I’ve spent a few pleasant summer evenings getting drunk and eating junk food at the Phillies stadium, but I totally relate to the winter’s-over-and-my-sport-is-back emotion because the first Formula 1 race of the year was last weekend, and dammit I needed that! Should be good until December, pandemic allowing.
One of my fond memories in motorsport is of Jacky Ickx in 1969 walking to his car during a Le Mans start, carefully attaching his harness, and starting dead last, then going on to win the race. There’s a sort of history of this kind of start in America: staged in 1889 on the Oklahoma border, 50,000 potential landowners lined up to race each other for land parcels the federal government had made available for settlement. It was kind of like Le Mans without the wine and slinky women. And look what we ended up with: Oklahoma. Heaven help us.
Good to see young Mick Schumacher out on the circuit. I watched his father for many years. And I miss Jackie Stewart providing commentary for the Indy 500. Sure, it’s a lot of left turns, but I would watch the Butch Housewives of New Jersey if the Flying Scot were doing the commentary. He has a voice that evokes poetry.
Oh, I forgot about the “topic”. Corporate fast food could blow my dog if I had a dog. Of course I’d have to hose the dog down to get the sodium off his wiener. Just sayin’.
It will be interesting to see what happens with young Schumacher, those are some big boots to fill. He has the worst car and the worst teammate to start his career with. Verstappen is the only driver-with-a-driver-father who I can think of where the son is better than the father – and that may be down to his Mom!
Wisey in T Town says
Hey John, my guess is that your windbag ass has never been in Oklahoma. Fuck you and your ass-hat opinions. I bet your a hoot at parties, an unfunny Cliff Clavin. Yuck.
A constructive comment if ever there was one.
I haven’t tasted any of the fast food chik’n sammidges, so I got nothing. But the concept has legs. Maybe I can score one on the Jersey Turnpike tomorrow.
For lunch today, I had a slice of pepperoni ‘n’ sausage from Ray’s. The one at the corner of 3rd Avenue and St. Mark’s place. It was good.
I work in this business but I haven’t tried any of the sandwiches. I’m plagued by news,stories about which one is the best, blah blah blah. I guess I’ll decide which is best when it passes my lips. I’ve got to send one of our field people out to gather the samples.
Yesterday I had a,handful of pistachios for lunch. I’m a sorta vague Catholic and don’t eat meat on Fridays during lent. Especially good Friday. Now, I haven’t been to church in decades but old habits die hard.
Haas Easter, happy Passover, happy weekend all.
None of my business whatsoever, except that we’re brothers and sisters-in-arms in Jeff’s army of emotional cripples and I’m curious. I thought you worked for a law firm. Now here you are in the fast food game but you’ve never tried this kind of fast food, even when the Romans aren’t trying to nail Jesus and blame it on the Jews.
I suppose you work for a family that owns a bunch of fast food franchises and centralizes the administrative functions. Or you might work for the mob that owns a bunch of “fast food” franchises and centralizes the money laundering and “personnel disposal” functions at a secret site in New York and that you visit “Rhode Island” a few times a year to grind the bodies into mulch so the gangsters will be carbon neutral by 2030. I might have got carried away there. Bon appétit.
You guys kill me lol! Yes I did once work for a law firm then in the law,department at big blue.
Now, for the past five years after being shat out by Big Blue, I work for a family that owns 60 plus golden arches. One of which I actually worked in during my high school days.
Talk about the circle of life!
And I have to say, after a grueling and heart wrenching learning curve, this is one of the best jobs I had. The best was a crazy ad agency but that’s a whole other story.
Good grief, Madz, I had no idea you ground up bodies for the mob. Do you use one of those wood chippers like in Fargo?
Not Oprah says
Lunchish (I am a grazer and don’t have a regular eating time) was some rice krispies and a mango smoothie that I made. Nothing exciting.
My wife insist that the sauce is not mayonnaise, but horseradish. She claims it had a wang to it.
For lunch today I had a Sumo mandarin and a bottle of Arrowhead water. I should note for identification purposes that the Sumo Citrus mandarin is called a Dekopon in some parts of the country.
I’d prefer that the attending Reporters not think I’ve gone all upwardly mobile and fancypants because I’m eating Named Fruit. The Sumo is the only citrus fruit I can eat because of a disagreeable digestive system. The Sumo is low in acid and heavenly in taste.
When I used to drink orange juice and coffee and Kentucky Bourbon Whisky, all by the barrel full, I was in the process of developing a pretty big hole in my stomach, so I stopped consuming all three one week in 1996. A man can live without Kentucky Bourbon Whisky and coffee if he must, but living without citrus is like leaving the Garden without the fruit of knowledge. The Sumo (or Decopon) became widely available in the United States only a few years ago, and has a short growing season, so must be consumed between mid-January and mid-April. It has been a welcome addition to my lunch table and even gets invited for dinner from time to time.
It has been said that when the Sumo harvest begins each year in early January in the dry country of south-central California, the maidens come down from the high desert and disrobe to pick it so as to not damage the skin of the fruit on a zipper or a button. I was busy getting a series of vaccine shots this year, but next year, in the words of Al Jolson and Cliff Edwards, California here I come.
Wait… a Mandarin is a Chinese bureaucrat. How can he also be a sumo?
A Chinese bureaucrat who’s too big for his britches?
Seems appropriate since we’re discussing fast food sandwiches – I like KFC’s joke with the 11 people they follow on twitter:
Burnt Usually says
I used to love baseball and I’d frequent the local minor league teams several times a year. I’d listen to MLB on the radio while driving. Not anymore.
Dennis R Tidwell says
That was the worst sandwich I ever tried in my life. KFC should be ashamed to charge 4 dollars for this .
Double breaded ? when i found the thin little strip of chicken it was one centemeter thick.
Reality check bread on bread sandwich , not worth 50 cents, even McDonalds chicken sandwich beats this. What little chicken was there was so tough , like shoe leather
KFC has disgraced the Colonel Sanders Legacy with this disaster
I’m not using my barge pole, so if anyone wants to borrow it…
For lunch I tried to get ahold of some of that hapo stuff that some of the Reporters favour, but nobody knew what the hell I was talking about. I think I’m developing a mask impediment. Whatever it is, I’d be happy to add the coconut that Mark eschews. I suspect that the secret is to put de lime in the coconut and drink ’em bot’ togedder. But I could be way off.
I’ll continue to try make time to answer the QOD as long as Jeff is asking.
. . . and yes, I do miss Harry Nilsson and his three-and-a-half octave range. It’s been 27 years. You can climb a mountain, you can swim the sea, you can jump into the fire, but you’ll never be free.
…that son of a Schmilsson.
For lunch today I had tea and cakes and ices. And after the cups, the marmalade, the tea, among some talk of you and me I wondered: Do I dare eat a peach?
So instead I bought a watermelon to eat upon the beach,
And I’m borrowing a barge pole to keep it all in reach.