I’m not really a fan of drinking games. Oh sure, it’s fun — in theory — to imagine taking a shot of booze every time someone says “know what I’m sayin’?” during the Dr. Dre episode of Behind the Music, or something similar. But if a person were to actually attempt such a thing, they’d likely end up in the Bon Scott ward at the local hospital.
No, I prefer to self-regulate my intake of alcohol, thank you very much. I’ve never done well with mandated drinking, and will always opt out whenever someone suggests turning it into a contest of some sort. I’ve been around long enough to know that that sort of thing will only lead to tears, and waking up wearing a Phantom of the Opera mask constructed of vomit.
When I was young I dabbled in “quarters,” or as we called it… “quarter bounce.” I didn’t like it, but succumbed to social pressure. I saw Rocky drink a large mug of beer in one gulp during one of those games, sit there with no expression on his face for ten seconds, and fill the mug back up with puke. Exactly the same amount came out as went in — except it had changed colors. Blecch.
Bill also used to drink the quarters on a regular basis, and we’d have to scramble and find a new one. But other than that… it was not a great deal of fun for your corpulent correspondent.
I was also pressured into using a so-called beer bong once or twice. It’s basically a funnel, with a length of hose attached. You put the hose in your mouth, fill the funnel with a can of beer, and lift it above your head. The object: drink the whole beer without stopping.
“Just open up your throat, and let it go down!” the experts advised. Open up my throat?! What am I, Linda Lovelace? I nearly blew the wall out of my esophagus attempting that nonsense. And you just ain’t lived until you’ve had six ounces of fizzy Meister Brau inside your sinuses. Wow! Have you ever used a beer bong? I’ve actually heard about people taking it up another notch, and “butt funneling” beer or booze. Good god.
We also had something called The 20 Club, which inducted new members on the night before Thanksgiving. The way to get in was to drink 20 beers during one session. Oh, it was an august group… I made a couple of half-hearted attempts, but never crossed the finish line. I mean, seriously. 20? I’d make it to piss-in-the-silverware-drawer drunk, and still have seven or eight beers to go. All my organs would’ve shut down.
One time we tried to drink six beers in one hour, which sounds easy, but isn’t. You think it’s going to be a slam-dunk, until you get to number four or five. Then it feels like you’ve got an ocean sloshing around inside your gut, and your lower intestines are turning to liquid. I think Bill actually made it, but Ed and I threw in the towel. And later that night Bill and Ed got into a fistfight in the middle of Myers Avenue. Heh. Are the two things related? It’s hard to say.
I’ve also been in bars that hold contests like Penny Till U Pee, and that sort of thing. Funk dat. Just let me drink in peace, please. That might seem boring to some, but it’s the way I prefer it. I don’t even like it when a group starts buying rounds of shots, and I’m pressured to join the “fun.” No, I want to be able to calibrate things, with no outside influence.
What are your feelings on drinking games? Am I way off on it? Do you have any drinking games horror stories to share? If so, please do.
Or maybe you’ve discovered a drinking game that’s actually enjoyable? I’d like to hear about it. Also, what are the most inventive bar-sponsored games you’ve encountered? Please bring us up to date on it, in the comments section below.
And I’m going to go drink a beer now, at a nice leisurely pace. Have yourselves a great day.
See ya next time!
Now playing in the bunker
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Buzz in Wheeling says
First?? R U Cerius??
Been so long I forgot how to spell ‘first’.
Never a fan of drinking games after watching the antics of an over-the-top bachelor party ( mine).
Buzz in Wheeling says
For me, Happy Hour starts (and ends) at 4 PM. My recreational boozing was decades ago and to be honest I don’t remember much about them.
When you are 19, you are immortal, of course. In the USAF, whenever we finished 11-7 shift [never you mind what I did] we would be trucked back to the squadron area, shower, shave and in civvies by 8 AM and ready to hit town [this was in the S.E. Asia]. “Our” bar was the Rotunda and featured an oval shaped bar. We would hold “Roll Call”, where, once your name was called, you had to guzzle a beer. And since there were only about 20 in our flight, our names came around again fairly quickly.
Most of us were drunk by 10, sober by 5 or 6 PM, then having got our second wind we proceeded to cruise the town, I use the term town loosely because it very closely resembled your average western town, circa 1880, with wood sidewalks and dirt streets. I guess we managed to eat sometime – hate to think what it might have been. Don’t ever remember any outright mayhem, but I was quite relaxed at the time.
I do remember being escorted back to the squadron area by the Air Police (we called them Apes) a number of times. But, never lost a stripe or anything, plus here I am. Good times.
Hot fuzz says
Where the hell is everyone?
I went through my “quarters” stage, and am thankful that it was brief.
The best drinking game I participated in was a “beer rally.” In a beer rally, you are given a delicate beer glass, separated into teams of three or four members, then you are set off into the woods, in which are situated several kegs, with paths leading from one to the next. The object was simple: rove, as a group, from one keg to the next, each person drinking one glass of beer at each station. If you tripped and broke your glass, you could drink no more. Last team/man standing with an unbroken glass is the winner. Losers migrate to a bonfire with food and beer. There are no losers.
Played many a game of quarters during the college days, and did those ‘Dallas” drinking games where you are assigned a character and have to drink every time they say a line. I re-beered many a landscaping on campus during those days.
There was also a variation where you had to drink if one of the other characters says your character’s name.
I don’t recall ever playing Quarters (but I wouldn’t, would I?) In college I played Thumper once or twice. There was also Jeopardy For Shots: if you get a question wrong, you have to drink. And of course there was the “Star Trek the Next Generation” drinking game, which I never actually played.
But all this was long ago. In my dotage I find this sort of thing less and less attractive. I haven’t played any drinking game, or wanted to, since the Clinton administration. Maybe longer ago than that.
Dr Buford says
In college we used to take a shot of Jameson every time a character said ‘Fuck’ in Goodfellas.
Pants-shitting, silverware-pissing drunk to be sure 🙂
T. Farty McAppleass says
I don’t know anything about these “games”. If someone put a filthy ass coin in my drink, I’d break their jaw. Many coins have been in people’s asses – most people don’t know that.
Well, I’m going out to the garage to pour a six pack of budweiser in my ass.
As was documented on the WVSR Ass Pennies are in circulation.
Hated drinking games. One time some of my friends and I made up some dumbass drinking game while playing Monopoly. But that was about it. If I liked beer mote I would have tried a pub crawl.
More. Jesus! Typed it twice on this friggin phone.
More. Jesus! Typed it twice on this friggin phone.
I give up
Are the bastards blocking the wvsr at work and depriving you of a keyboard? Just curious…
Nah… I’m home on vacation using my phone. I put my laptop away to make room for the Tannenbaum.
My new drinking game is “empty the bottles”. I drink a beer until it is empty, then get another. I found most drinking games actually slowed my consumption.
I quit doing rounds of shots though. After I hit 40+, the allure of non-stop vomiting while hugging a toilet began to diminish.
I too am a fan of Empty the Bottle. It’s a lot like golf, in that you’re competing against yourself, really.
Bullshit; Pass-the-Ace; Quarters; Bizz-Buzz – check.
Hardest one, and this was in 1985, was “The 100-Minute Club”. Every minute you do a 1 oz. shot of beer. Sounds ‘easy’, right? Slightly over 8 cans of beer in just over an hour and a half. But you swallow A LOT of air drinking beer that way and it becomes almost impossible to finish because you just have to barf. I ‘succeeded’ on my 2nd try and then never tried again.
Oh to be 22 again.
WB in OH says
I played quarter’s once. I swallowed the quarter and decided it wasn’t my game. I’ve also bonged a few beers in my time. I like Doug’s game of “Empty The Bottle”, sometimes I play empty the glass if I’m drinking draft beer.
We have a local tavern that has seven taps, so the genius that owns the place decided to start a contest he calls the Hofbrauhaus challenge. He has a big ass mug from the Hofbrauhaus and you have 5 hours in which to drink a mug of beer from each of the seven taps. Most get to the fifth or sixth mug before giving up. A handful have completed it, most wishing they hadn’t.
Bill in WV says
I’ve played too many of these games to recall the specifics, probably because I lost a lot of them (on purpose). What’s the fun in NOT drinking during a drinking game??? A couple of years ago (I’m now 50), I was coaxed into doing the old timed drinking of 24oz of beer from a glass boot, by some of my much younger co-workers at a house party. You had to turn the boot, so the toe end was pointed down (don’t ask me). Others were doing the task in 45 seconds or longer. It came to my turn. I did the first one in 13 seconds. Everyone insisted on an encore, so they could film the task. I did the second on in 11 seconds. These kids couldn’t hang with the veteran.
jim britton says
Is it just on my end or has the Further Evidence box disappeared?
Hmm. No Bunker Cam, either.
This will work for the Bunker Cam until the button is back up.
Wow, that’s even more-or-less current. Nicely done.
I think i’ve played every drinking game there is. i no longer participate in such things, hell even did quite a few beer bongs in my day im just no good at it i can’t just open my throat either. but beer bongs to the butt? no thanks no “butt chugging” for me thanks..
Our last trip to Jamboree in the Hills we played a drinking game the first night we arrived. We pulled in next to a bunch of young kids with a mountain of beer cans already piled up on their camp site. It was only Wednesday. The concerts hadn’t even started yet. We didn’t want to be anywhere near them because we thought their all night loud parties would keep us old farts from our beauty sleep. We pulled in, set up camp, then walked over and bellied up to their table.
They had board planks for tables about 30 feet in length. The game was called “flip cup”. They half filled a solo cup. When became your turn, your turn, you chug the beer and place the cup up side down eith the lop extended over the table just a bit. We had to flip the cup to it’s upright position before the next person in your line went. When the endnof the line was reached, it started all over again.
We stumbled away that night. It was fun. But it was the first night. The game lost its luster real quick.
That same week, a bunch of kids filled the bed of a pick up truck with water for their own personal roaming swimming pool. They drove around the camp ground getting people to drink from their beer bong that had an enormous penis at the end. Guys were putting the entire thing in their mouths, funneling beer right down their gullets. None of us were going to touch that thing. Yuck. No thanks. Kids these days….