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What an Instant Update Looks Like

January 6, 2010 By Jeff 84 Comments

I posted some ridiculousness at Mockable today, so please check it out if you’re so inclined.  And Metten has several good pieces there about his recent driving trip to Florida, including this one and this one.

We (Metten) are making an effort to get the site back on track.  We’ve both been, as they say, overscheduled, and things were starting to slide a bit.  But we’re doing better, and I hope you’ll give it another look.

Also, if you’d like to contribute a guest mock, please send it to us.  We’d love to read it, and will probably publish it.  You know, unless it’s just one long racial slur or something…  The address:  mockable [at] gmail.com.

We’d also like to know what you like and don’t like about Mockable.  If you have any suggestions on how we can make it better, please tell us.  Via email, or in the comments here, whatever.

On Christmas day we hooked-up the new PS3 to the B.A.T. (big ass television) in the family room, and the boys did their best to fully burn-out the unit over the next week and a half.  One of them was playing it sixteen hours per day, I’d guess.

And they never opened the blinds down here, which was the part that drove me the craziest.  You’d think it would be the constant sound of gunfire, and the eleven year old boys in Oregon and Liverpool repeatedly screaming “FUCK!” through our TV speakers.

But no, it was the gloomy, cave-like feeling outside the bunker that caused me to grind my teeth.  Man, I hate a house with all the blinds shut during the daytime…  But the Secrets wanted it dark, for a better Russian-killing experience.

I also hate an unmade bed, in case you’re keeping score.  I make ours seven days per week, and do a damn good job of it, too.  I mean, I’ve got the hospital corners going on the sheets, and everything.

An unmade bed makes me sad, for some reason.  Even when I lived in semi-squalor in Greensboro, I made my bed every day.  Sure, I sometimes had to kick week-old pizza boxes out of the way to do it.  But dammit, it was done.

Do you have anything like that?  Something around the house — something that doesn’t seem to bother a lot of people — that you simply cannot tolerate?  Tell us about it, won’t you?

The mailman (Mehlman, I call him) just brought me a red Netflix envelope, with a copy of Public Enemies inside.  I finished with Life on Mars 2nd season (HIGHLY recommended), and just realized there are a lot of interesting new movies to watch.

Near the top of my queue:  In the Loop, The Hangover, Inglorious Basterds, District 9, Star Trek, The Taking of Pelham 123, Drag Me to Hell, and Up.  I want to see them all.

Will any be a waste of time?  Which ones should I move to the top spots?  Also, what new releases am I missing?  I try to keep my fingers on the pulse of popular culture, but sometimes I get distracted by a tendency to not give a shit.

Help me out, won’t you?

And I cranked this one out in about ten minutes.  Sorry it’s so lame, but I think it’s slightly better than nothing.  Possibly.  I’m off tomorrow, and will do better.

See ya then.

Now playing in the bunker

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Filed Under: Daily

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Amy says

    January 6, 2010 at 8:33 pm

    go for The Hangover — must see

    Reply
  2. dto says

    January 6, 2010 at 8:33 pm

    Hey look… as far as the mockable priority thing seems to be an issue…here’s the deal. It’s a sideline thing. Quick 300-400 word post..”.bada boom, bada bing. Betty Boop”! Like I said earlier…write something!! Do you really feel deprived in all of this? Sorry folks but I just don’t get the angst here. Really…I don’t. The, “Where’s my update?” is cute and all that but do you really have a grasp of the deal here.
    As I said before…the WVSR is an out-patient insane asylum where we wander the halls and say hi to each other and there are no doors holding us in…merely an addiction.
    Submit something to mockable. Write something for christ sake.

    I’ll be on the third floor waiting for opening day of baseball season. Jeff said I get a new TV this year.

    Reply
  3. Gretchen says

    January 6, 2010 at 8:50 pm

    Well shit, my explanation to Metten about why I formed my opinion and my subsequent APOLOGY if I had it wrong seems to have fallen on deaf ears.

    If you want to do some “research”, t-storm/dto, why don’t you look up to see if I’ve ever complained anywhere on this site about not having an update. I haven’t. Jeff asked for an opinion on Mockable, I offered one up. Metten pointed out where I could be in error and wondered how I came to my line of thinking. I supplied an example. I also said it wasn’t as big a deal as it’s suddenly turning into. And I’ve said it all as politely and as thoughtfully as as possible. Which is more than I can say for some people.

    Reply
  4. t-storm says

    January 6, 2010 at 8:55 pm

    Gretchen, my post was not directed solely at you. I apologize if I offended you.

    But look at a day with no update the day after Jeff said there would be an update. People lose their minds on here. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jeff is seeing each question about the whereabouts to the update and proceeds to pull out another kernel of the jiffy pop.

    Reply
  5. Gretchen says

    January 6, 2010 at 9:05 pm

    Well thank you t-storm, apology accepted. I have noticed some folks do freak out a bit, but I do think it’s mostly in jest. At least that’s how I would choose to take it if I were Jeff. It’s somewhat of a compliment too, when you think about it, that people look so forward to his posts. Anyway, my “research” consisted of looking up the phrase “no time Mockable” in the search bar. I only did that because I couldn’t think of another way to show Metten what I was talking about without providing “proof”. A bit anal? Maybe. But I do have a flippin’ Masters in Library Science that I so rarely get to use, so why not? It’s not coming from some deep seated grudge that will eventually evolve into a Saw movie or something, I swear. 😉

    Reply
  6. Juancho says

    January 6, 2010 at 9:07 pm

    Uh! These are not the comments I wanted!!!

    Danny maverick come home to us!

    Reply
  7. dto says

    January 6, 2010 at 9:11 pm

    Gretchen…I am not t-storm nor do I driect anything to anyone unless I address them. I have read, “Where’s my update”, a time or two and don’t remember you as the poster…so relax. Just my take and not a debate. Don’t know why you took my musings as directed to you. Not my intent by any means. I certainly apologize for any misintertpeted comments you feel directed to you….d

    Reply
  8. Gretchen says

    January 6, 2010 at 9:21 pm

    dto: I’m sorry for freakin’ a bit. I suppose I thought both you and t-storm were speaking to me as your posts directly followed mine on the topic. I’m going through a bit of stress regarding my health at the moment and I have a nice big fat stress headache as a result, so I’m likely not thinking straight. Thank gawd I didn’t pull the lever on the f-bomb doors!

    To all: I think it’s best we all drift away from this topic for now. Obviously there’s some hot button issues here. Let’s ruminate on why the hell the good Lord saw fit to invent lake effect snow or something.

    Reply
  9. Not Oprah says

    January 6, 2010 at 9:23 pm

    dto – came home early very sick with a cold NYE and lied on the couch watching Corner Gas marathon. It’s hilarious. I am not a weekly viewer of anything and love it when they come out in marathons or syndication. I had never even hear of Arrested Development (not that Corner Gas could be compared to it) until they had stopped making it, then I had the pleasure of watching it every night after work.

    Reply
  10. Not Oprah says

    January 6, 2010 at 9:32 pm

    Unused time at the office on the microwave used to bother me – I’m over that now but not over when people don’t clean up after their microwave apocalypse. At home, I’m on my own – any rule or lack there of is a good one.

    Reply
  11. Chuck in Belpre says

    January 6, 2010 at 9:44 pm

    i haven’t believed a thing i have read in the intertubes in the last 8 years or so. but then…i’m kinda paranoid. maybe it’s time to up the Lithium?

    Reply
  12. Chuck in Belpre says

    January 6, 2010 at 9:46 pm

    and i can’t even get my own site name right…sheesh.

    Reply
  13. dto says

    January 7, 2010 at 4:10 am

    Wow…I guess we need a good fart joke to get things going again……Two farts walk into a joke. One fart says. “You smell something funny”? Other fart says “No…but this joke stinks”.

    Reply
  14. metten says

    January 7, 2010 at 5:29 am

    Sorry, I drifted off for a minute there. There’s nothing worse than someone who asks for your opinion and then yells at you when you give it. Well, maybe papercuts between one’s fingers…and AIDS. AIDS is definately worse. And IRS audits. Anyway, the intention was not to ask for feedback and then tell you why your feedback was wrong.

    I can always take criticism. Over the years my “you suck” shell has become harder than a 14 year-old boy in the girl’s locker room. I do not, however, want to be the guy credited with killing the surf report.

    1) So the way I see it – for many readers of thewvsr, mockable.org is not their particular brand of vodka. I’m cool with that.

    2) There’s no reason to try and break my ass with multiple posts per day. That’s also awesome. School starts back up again next week anyway.

    3) People who give me editing and grammar advice can blow me.

    4) @Gretchen You’re cute. I like you.

    Did I miss anything?

    Reply
  15. Ian the Errolite says

    January 7, 2010 at 9:51 am

    ‘In the Loop’ is very clever and very good.

    Here’s at clip of what to expect.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2T0Ofr6VYMI

    (Not recommended for the easily offended!)

    Reply
  16. Alice in WV says

    January 7, 2010 at 10:27 am

    I’ve watched a few eps of The John Dore Television Show on IFC and he’s had me belly-laughing. stoopid shit and maybe I was just tired. and now that i’ve written that… I’m wondering… if I saw the same shows in the light of day, would I still think them funny the way Arrested Development does? huh
    anyway, just thought I’d throw that in for ya.

    oh, and I have to put the canned goods in the cupboard label side facing out.

    Reply
  17. tiff says

    January 7, 2010 at 1:02 pm

    I used to be OCD about so very many things, then decided to lighten up a little. Now I can have checkered dish towels alongside striped ones, NO PROBLEM, as long as they’re folded properly and the edges are lined up and there are no stains and they at least MATCH a little bit and there are no frays.

    See? I’m practically whimsical about it!

    But a made bed? While nice, it’s not a necessity. In a 4-room house, the bedrooms serve as holdalls, thus containing all manner of things, like a drum kit, guitar practice area, home office, and reading nook. No way that room is going to stay organized.

    Reply
  18. CADude says

    January 7, 2010 at 1:23 pm

    I was tempted to comment on the whole red-headed stepchild thing, then started laughing at the “argument” about whether or not it’s actually true (way to use that degree, Gretchen! And I mean that in a non-mockable way. I agree with Metten–you’re cute!), and then I saw that the group pulled it all back together via a WVSR staple–a good ol’ fart joke. Priceless.

    Things that drive me crazy: TW’s habit of preparing for a in-home party by creating chaos during the prep phase (the term “the house is upside down” doesn’t even begin to describe it) only to pull it all together about 15 seconds before the first guest arrives. And she hasn’t figured out that it IS possible to actually return a CD and/or DVD to its case. Those things just stack up, waiting for my attention.

    Finally, my review of Mockable: Metten, you just need to make it funnier! Not really–I find it amusing, entertaining, and I generally wait a few days between readings so that I’m assured of getting a nice big dose of mock. Good stuff, IM(I try to be)HO.

    Reply
  19. Bill in WV says

    January 7, 2010 at 1:31 pm

    The lady at the counter said to go here to get whatever condiments I need. TF?

    Reply
  20. Melissa says

    January 7, 2010 at 1:34 pm

    Well, I’m so late on this one I might as well not talk. I’ve had the week from H-E-double-hockey-sticks! Heh.
    First, my new (new to me) house I just bought and have been working non-stop renovating gets broken into and all of my boyfriend’s tools are stolen. Happy New Year! As police are taking inventory, boyfriend’s phone rings and his dad has been rushed to hospital for possible heart attack. Happy New Year! Spend the next day in hospital for emergency surgery on Father-In-Law (although he’s not really my FIL) worrying sick about him and my busted up garage door and house to hear the surgeon say a lazer intended to break up kidney stones broke during surgery. Happy New Year! What would have been 2 hours is now 6. But, he came out okay and good to go, so I am very grateful for that.
    Spent $300 and 2 hours at Harbor Freight (the poor man’s Pic ‘N Save tool store) wondering if any more men could stand in front of hammers wearing wife-beaters looking defeated in life. Listened to music over their “speakers” that sounded like they used their own products to play it (i.e tinny & hollow) & felt ashamed that we could buy a full cart of electric drills, reciprocating saw, power sander & tons of wrenches, drill bits, screwdrivers, paint supplies and power cords for $300 when at Home Depot the drill alone would have cost that.
    I’m back at work, very tired, very angry at the world and my luck and a bit too sarcastic for everyone around me. But fuck ’em. I’ve been vandalized and have worked on saving all this money with no help from family only to have this kick in the nuts happen. Now family is coming out of the woodwork offering “help” (see: cash) & dammit, I’m takin’ it! I might even crack a beer or 6 tonight cuz dammit, I want it!
    Okay, enough of that. How are you all? I see there is a debate on Mockable going. That’s nice. I will play politician and nod and smile, no matter what is happening. 🙂
    I love Metten. I love Sir Kay. I love you all. If anyone has any extra alcohol, or marijuana, or other nonsense they would like to donate to my personal charity, I am always accepting. 🙂

    Reply
  21. AngryWhiteGuy says

    January 7, 2010 at 1:34 pm

    Gretchen, I am currently having a some deep seated grudge that will eventually evolve into a Saw movie or something. One week in- no smokes.

    On IPOD right now- “Smooth”- Santana

    Reply
  22. Fat Secretary says

    January 7, 2010 at 1:46 pm

    I like Mockable, but I think the difference between that and the Surf Report is that reading the comments can be as entertaining as reading the Report. So more comments would make it more enjoyable for me, but you can’t make people comment, of course.

    IMO, please nobody shoot me….

    Reply
  23. t-storm says

    January 7, 2010 at 1:55 pm

    this just in, fiery popcorn shrimp from LJS not mockable. $0.99 of awesome!

    Reply
  24. Chuck in Belpre says

    January 7, 2010 at 2:36 pm

    Melissa,
    sorry to hear about all your trouble, but, this too shall pass. nothing can equal the horrible feeling of violation that comes with break-in.
    hope your almost-fil is all gooder now.

    mockable has given me the opportunity to post a couple silly things i wrote. were they both mocks? no. maybe i lost sight of the purpose of the site. i will try to do better next time if i get another chance.

    Reply
  25. Casey J says

    January 7, 2010 at 2:50 pm

    I am behind the times over here.

    Hangover..eh.. to much slow..
    Up..good
    Public Enemies Johnny Depp, so duh. I watch it.

    I just saw Revolutionary Road(I know, I know It takes me awhile!) I thought that was Awesome, but I like ole Jack and Rose back together. 🙂

    Reply
  26. Swami Bologna says

    January 7, 2010 at 3:14 pm

    Where the hell’s my update? Jeff must be wasting his time over at that Mockable site. I want my goddamn update, and I want it now! We ain’t no frickin red-headed stepchildren over here, dammit !

    😉 🙂 😉 🙂 😉 🙂 😉 🙂

    Reply
  27. Alice in WV says

    January 7, 2010 at 3:15 pm

    Melissa – maybe all the bad crappola is outta the way. Hope it all gets better, including your boyfriend’s Dad.

    Madz1962 – hope your toof stops hurting and you get in to see your dentist ASAP. bad times.

    t-storm – I dig it when people find awesomeness in unexpected places. Take it where you can find it, I say. 😀

    Reply
  28. dto says

    January 7, 2010 at 3:27 pm

    CADude…glad you liked my fart joke….I wrote that at just about the time I posted it… 2am MST. I usually wake up in the middle of the night to jot down notes or do some writing. Just kinda came to me.

    “In the Loop” looks cool….in the Q
    At home, “King of California”, “Felon” and “Everybody Wants to be Italian”. Don’t care bad or good. I’d rather watch a so-so movie than deal with ANY type of commercial.

    Reply
  29. dto says

    January 7, 2010 at 3:31 pm

    Swami Bologna…Tooooo Friggin’ Funny!!!

    Reply
  30. metten says

    January 7, 2010 at 3:47 pm

    I knew I’d find it eventually! http://mockable.org/amc-or-star-trek-nemesis-you-decide/ The post where I tackled the “Is it mockable or just an asshole complaining debate.”

    Reply
  31. Gordion Knott says

    January 7, 2010 at 4:12 pm

    Yes, definitely rent “Anvil.”

    What gets me about these guys is that not only did they have a brief taste of the big leagues, way back when, but they were the innovators of the speed metal that’s made a career for Metallica and Megadeth.

    “We got all of our shit–all of us–from Anvil.” That’s a quote from Slash (of G&R) in an interview in the movie.

    They also recorded 13 albums.

    And now, they’re working construction and Meals-on-Wheels! The music business is too, too unfair.

    Reply
  32. Gretchen says

    January 7, 2010 at 4:17 pm

    Wubba! You step away from the commentary for a few hours and suddenly people are quoting you and calling you cute. Awesome! I feel a mixture of flattery and slight horror. I’m sure there’s a pill for that. But thanks guys. I appreciate you all leaving my asshole intact.

    AWG: Hey, you’ve made it one week. That’s something. Don’t break out the freaky puppet yet!

    Reply
  33. Gretchen says

    January 7, 2010 at 5:10 pm

    Barring any new additions by Jeff, here’s a good Further Evidence link for today:

    http://www.hgtv.com/crafting/monitor-cozy/index.html

    WTF?!

    Reply
  34. kenju says

    January 7, 2010 at 11:53 pm

    In my closets, all the hangers have to face the same way on the pole!

    My mom taught me to do that. She said that if we ever had a fire, I could lift all my clothes off the pole at the same time with no trouble, as long as the hangers all faced the same direction!

    Reply
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