I got a powerful urge for a Mountain Dew at work last night, as so often happens, and made the long walk to the vending machines with Dewy visions dancing in my head.
The machine with the glass front didn’t have anything I wanted, so I moved to the more traditional vend-o-matic. The drinks are $1.25, so I inserted two one-dollar bills.
Then I hit the dinner plate-sized button, and two dollars worth of nickels came out of the coin return. WTF?!
It took a full minute for them all to be deposited into the reservoir, and co-workers were looking at me with puzzled expressions. “What’s that idiot doing now?” You know, something along those lines…
I then had three pounds of money, and still no soda. So I returned to the glass-front machine, now having to carry my loot in two cupped hands, and realized I’d have to settle for one of the novelty Dews — Typhoon, to be exact.
So, I started feeding in the nickels, and it took a good long time to reach $1.25. I think I switched hands at one point, because of cramping.
Then I pushed the appropriate button, and the bottle jerked and moved forward a little, but didn’t fall.
“Oh no you don’t!” I hollered, and put my shoulder into it, as an unknown woman from another department walked past. When I made contact with the machine, I slung six or eight of the remaining nickels all around the woman’s feet. And she just shook her head, and kept walking.
But the drink dropped, dammit. I had my Dew. Unfortunately it tasted like a rose bush, and people at work have further evidence against me. Oh well.
I really like one of the new novelty Dews: Distortion. It’s pretty much like regular Mountain Dew, but with an extra blast of lime. It’s good stuff, I think. And White Out tastes almost exactly like Fresca. I can deal with that.
But some of them are too strange for me. Typhoon isn’t very good, and the Windex-colored one is weird, too.
Remember back in olden times, when there were roughly a hundred different flavors of Faygo soda? Maybe they still make it, I don’t know. But they had all sorts of unusual flavors, like, possibly celery. Or green onion. Did you ever drink that stuff? What was yer favorite bizarro flavor? I thought the baby aspirin flavor was pretty good.
In fact, can you remember having any weird flavors of soda, regardless of the brand? Tell us about it, won’t you? Also chips… Have you tried any baffling flavors of potato chips? When we were in England they had some stuff that blew my mind. I tried a few, and with the exception of “roast chicken” they all made my lower jaw retract. Blecch.
Do you have anything on this? Use the comments link below.
And speaking of olden times, do you know anybody who uses antiquated phrases in their normal everyday speech? Especially people who are too young for such things?
I regularly speak with a woman (purposely vague) who describes people as “colored.” And she’s younger than I am. I also hear a lot of people say “tin foil.” Tin? What is this, 1947? And I used to work with a man who referred to his home stereo as a “hi-fi set.”
Do you ever hear old fashioned phrases like that? If so, we need to know.
And I’m going to call it a day here. Tomorrow’s update will be my last for a while. I’m going into the final sprint on the second draft of my so-called book. But I’m trying to get some guest columnists to take up my slack for next week. So far I have three confirmations, and I think you’re going to be pleased with the lineup.
I’m going to work now, where it will probably be slightly too hot for the entire night, which will put me in a bad mood, and everything will cycle downward from there.
Have a great day, my friends!
See ya tomorrow.
I say tin foil. I don’t think there’s anything thing wrong with it. I also say “britches” instead of pants and “Jeez O Pete” instead of using a swear. I grew up in the South and these words weren’t a problem until I moved up North to Michigan. Talk about miscommunication…
I second the “Moxie” comment, but with an explanation: Moxie was originally created as a medicine, and developed into a soda. It is absolutely an acquired taste; you will love it or hate it. There is no middle ground.
I also love “Humpty Dumpty All Dressed” potato chips. They are, essentially, leftovers of ALL flavors dumped into one bag. Sadly, they are generally sold in Canada. I have to sneak across the border to grab them when I go home to visit family. HD has quite a few odd flavors to choose from, though…
http://www.taquitos.net/snacks.php?manuf_code=75
My wife calls her purse a pocketbook.
That’s what my 87 year old Grandma used to say….does anyone else under 75 use the word pocketbook?
Presently if you took away my Mt Dew, I would wither like a neglected plant but when I was a little kid, it got no better than red cream soda. At the age of 8, I would have rather had red cream soda than star wars figures and that is saying something.
Jones Soda has all the weird flavors. I didn’t know Faygo existed until I lived in Ohio. My husband says everyone calls them Fag-os.
I’m with Dorothy, birch beer is the best! Hard to find it outside of SE PA.
I’m guilty of old-timey phrases thanks to being born late to parents who lived through the Great Depression. That and perhaps too much PBS. I say “fellow” and “tinfoil” and in general use a lot of words which the young folks make fun of me over. I don’t know if the terms are archaic or the words are just “too big”. Gee, I’m sorry if my complete mastery of the English language, both spoken and written, causes your inferiority complex to tingle! I’ll try to dumb it down. NOW GET OFF MY LAWN!!!
I say tinfoil too…Who has time to say aluminum foil? I know a handful of people that can’t even say aluminum.
Detroit? You’re free to go you know.
So strange you should bring up chips. I just bought a bag of Lays Garden Tomato and Basil they are super yummy. First of all, I never do now or have in the past used the term ‘soda’ to refer to my POP. I haven’t really had anything odd in that department. I talked to a friend today who said she’d eaten some seaweed potato chips that she loved. Now, all’s I gotta say about that is who wants to eat something that tastes like it was cultivated underneath a fish’s armpit. NOT ME! I was like Gretchen raised by older parents and have been known to speak long ago used phrases such as For Pete’s Sake, Landsakes, holy cow and SUGAR! Which should be used in the presence of respected adults and young children in the place of SHIT! My daughter says goodbye by saying, “Fare Thee Well.” And I do say Aluminum Foil the whole thing everytime! FARE THEE WELL!
In Angola Indiana we had Pokagon in different flavors.
I loved Tahitian Treat! forgot about that one…
Faygo Red Pop was my favorite.
Had to give up the Mt. Dew to save my stomach, it’s much happier now. A Coke in the morning gets me started…
Fort Wayne was the home of Seyferts chips. They were the best! They sold out to another company years ago and have never been the same.
In Holland they didn’t have BBQ chips so I ate Paprika Chips. They were really good but you can’t find them in the states.
The new Lays Honey BBQ chips are my latest vice.
anyone else look at the couch and think “davenport”? never knew it by any other name when I was a kid.
I remember getting funny looks in Florida when I asked where the pop machine was. never heard of it called soda before…
In NC they say “I cut it on” instead of “I turned it on”. drives me crazy…
I’M GOING TO SEE “THE WALL”!
I am from the southwestern Ohio area (CinciTucky, to be exact) and still call it pop. I now live in NYC, but remain fiercely opposed to calling it soda (which might explain why I have suspicious friends). How’s about this….Sunkist and Orange Crush? I used to take that stuff by the barrel.
Seriously tho, Dr. Brown’s Celery Soda, I think its called, is simply awesome. Goes heavenly with a pastrami sandwich at Katz’s.
I do remember my mom buying the Faygo when I was a kid…none of my friends had ever heard of it and i think they thought i was trying to poison them…again, friend issues. My parents were both born in 1932, so I think that made them more of the RC Cola crowd….and Grape NeHi. (god love Radar O’ Reily)
Mrs. Limey, who is American, is a potato chip fan and she enjoys sampling the bizzaro UK chip flavors when we’re over there. We were there last month and Walker’s (the biggest crisp/chip) brand is having a World Cup of Flavors to coincide with the Soccer World Cup. There are some deeply funky flavors in that series 🙂 The American ones are cheeseburger BTW.
I wish they sold pickled onion chips here, those are great.
I AM NOT SEEING THE WALL!
I balked at $500+parking+food+drinks = $700. Fuck off Rog.
Uh, yeah, no way I was paying $500. I don’t want to lip cradle the guys baby maker, I just want to see the show.
2 tix ($75 per) + parking + 6 hour round trip to the venue = $250
When we were at Disney World, Epcot has an area where you can sample Cokes from around the world. The Italian version is called “Beverly” and it tastes like ear wax. We all agreed the best was the Japanese Coke (can’t remember the name), but it tasted a lot like Ginger Ale.
I’ve been known to say “icebox.”
I grew up in western Washington state..called it Pop then moved to Florida after basic training and got totally schooled that it was SODA.. Fuck em, i kept saying pop and still do.. but at least in Cowtown here people say pop and soda.. i love all kinds of root beer, ibc, frosty top, etc etc.. and orange crush..
I’ll try anything once.. .
I grew up with davenport, icebox, a 24 hr clock, (I knew military time before I was 12 lol..) root cellar..
Love the Dill pickle chips but can only eat about 5 before i get bumpy tongue haha
JCIII – Yeah, I remember that movie Faygo, pregnant sheriff, right? As I recall she drank a lot of Fargo soda in the movie, especially Red Pop. Weird.
Hell, the only Faygo they carry at Krogers now is orange, root beer and red pop.I see they make it in Detroit – I may call Bob Seger and raise hell.
As I am located 60 miles southwest of Pittsburgh, I consider myself an unofficial “Yinzer”. This means I can say stuff like jeet jet, are yinz goin’ to the Stiller game?, I am, after I redd up my room – it’s a whole different dialect for sure.
One more thing: my favorite soft drink is Diet Coke. For the record, Diet Coke is not soda; in these parts, Diet Coke is *POP*. (Hope I’ve cleared that up.)
Today’s quote: “I can remember a reporter asking me for a quote, and I didn’t know what a quote was. I thought it was some kind of soft drink.” Joe DiMaggio
Irn Bru is our big ‘soda’/’pop’ across here. Its commonly referred to as ‘ginger’ because of the colour. SOme people call all soda’s ‘ginger’ on acount of its popularity. eg ‘Have you got any ginger?’ -‘Yeah, there’s Coke in the fridge.’ !
Here’s a link to there website.
http://www.irn-bru.co.uk/
They’ve been doing great ads for decades and the new one is no exception.
I’m in the the land of free choice when it comes to crisps. The Walkers new World Cup editions are great.
‘Roast Beef and Yorkshire Pudding’ actually does what it says on the tin. Amazing.
How do they get these flavours? Are there Chinese political prisoners being fed random chemicals in the hope of finding something that tastes of barbeque spare ribs? I honestly need to know.
Faygo Rock and Rye still kicks ass!
Over here in Oz a local radio station ran a competition for listeners to suggest a new flavour chip, the winner was Beef Gravy flavoured, the Chip company did a short run of them … they were good!! If you want to listen to 2 funny young guys tune in to the Hamish & Andy Show….www.hamishandandy.com.au
Good Morning Surf Reporters……
.
I’M ABOUT TO HIT THE WALL
In the great Pacific Northwest, we get both birch beer and sasparilla. Both are tasty. We also get Green River, which is actually green. I grew up calling it pop, but a neighborhood about four blocks away called it soda.
Seems like there are some post-grad social science folks out here, perhaps even one or two with advanced degrees in social anthropology or sociology. If so, what is the most significant correlative variable associated with what people call that sweet, fizzy stuff? Region? Age? Family income? Race? Ethnic background? Gender? Political leaning? Religion? Penis length? I’d really appreciate knowing.
In my little world the silver wrapping/lining stuff is called “foil” or “aluminum foil”. I can’t think of anyone I know who can’t say aluminum; honestly, I can’t think of anyone I know who doesn’t have the time to say aluminum. I’m painfully aware of how short life is, but saving three syllables a week probably won’t materially extend my time on this planet.
UP AGAINST THE WALL, MOTHERFUCKER
Sorry, just a little 60’s flashback there. Hey, Dorothy, every time you post a comment I say “hubba hubba”. Keep on typing.
best wishes…
jtb
From childhood I recall White Rock Black Cherry soda as being especially good.
I’ve written before about Jones cola (“all the sugar & twice the caffeine”) and discovering that Coca Cola bottled in Mexico was made with sugar, not corn syrup.
So I’ll not repeat myself.
jtb-I’m going to have to disagree with you on the aluminum thing, the British for one, have a hell of a time pronouncing aluminum, seems they add an extra “i” towards the tail end.
Also I googled your request and here is the first page I came to. I need to get going but I’m sure there is much more available on the subject of pop vs soda.
http://popvssoda.com:2998/
@WB in OH – the British don’t add an ‘i” to aluminium, Americans drop one from it. We found the stuff, we get to name it – pretty much everyone calls it aluminium.
Aluminium, the football/soccer of the elements.
I myself use the terms “swell” and “shucks” simply to blow peoples’ minds. It often works being that I’m in my late 20s (too young for such phrases obviously). Vess used to make a Pineapple flavored soda that I found damn tasty. I wonder if its still out there.
I remember a pop ( yes, i call it “pop”) back in the 70’s called “Choc-Cola.” It was a chocolate-flavored soda that was also carbonated. It was the nastiest stuff EVER! I t makes me want to gag even now. I’ve also seen the Jones Thanksgiving Dinner pack of soda–it had a green bean casserole flavor. I can tell you right now that that will never touch my lips.
On the other hand, I wish I could find out if they still make “Frostie” Root Beer. That was clearly the best root beer I ever tasted. We had it when I was growing up near Dayton (Ahia), so maybe it was a local thing?
The strangest chips I ever ate were Shrimp Chips from Japan. They tasted OK, but the inside of the bag smelled like a girls locker room.
My step-mother-in-law says “pocky-book.” She’s another whole ball of wax. One whom Jeff could do justice to in describing her. She also pronounces DVD, as much as my wife and I can decipher, as “VDB.”
Limey-My sincere apologies to you and your Countrymen. I’d forgotten the origin of aluminium and to tell the truth being the ignorant American, I never realized till today that there was a spelling difference. I just assumed that the British pronunciation was driven by your flair for the English language. I guess when all one knows of a culture is garnered from PBS you’ll have these things. In honor of my new found knowledge I will be using the British spelling and pronunciation going forward. I can’t wait to go to the store tonight to purchase “aluminium foil”.
Jeff, I thought it was “question” of the day, not “maniacal list of questions” of the day. Vending machines, soda pop, tater chips, old-timey speech. It’s upsetting the voices in my head….
Root 66-Aww Frostie Root Beer, can’t recall the last time I saw that. Looks like the brand is alive now located in Detroit, so Lord only knows for how much longer. Couldn’t find any sales area on their website though.
http://www.frostie.biz/
We say ‘pop’ here in Chicago too…I had a friend in highschool who would always say ‘soda’ and it drove me NUTS. Then she would also always answer her phone, ‘Grand Central Station, how can I help you?’ Which also drove me f-ing crazy.
Limey & Donna – my mother tried the Walkers crisps for France – French baguette flavour and she wasn’t impressed at all!
I love Marmite but marmite flavoured crisps aren’t that nice, you get a weird (sweet?) after taste. Although Marmite flavoured rice cakes are, in my opinion, great!
Reading about Dr Pepper (which I have only tasted the once) has reminded me about a cocktail going around the UK – Amaretto and Dr Pepper! Can’t remember the name as I have blanked it from memory!
Malta is my second home and their own soda is “Kinnie”. Tried that only the once, too – it reminds me of Campari but without the alcohol as it’s got bitters in it …. (shudders)
The best Walkers could do for the France is bread flavoured crisps?
I’m no frog lover but please. Coq au Vin, Steak au Poivre, Saucisson en Croute…and on and on and on.
crack pipe flavored chips?
I read all the comments thus far and no one has mentioned my all time favorite from the days of yore – Delaware Punch!! They don’t even make it anymore as far as I can tell….but from reading the comments it almost sounds the same as the Tahitian Punch. It looked exactly like Hawaiian Punch but sooooooo much better! I am sure I would find it too sweet now. But I would almost do anything for a can of it today…..I said ALMOST.
I hope “made my lower jaw retract” makes it to your book, Jeff.
Nehi Peach was a big treat when I was a kid in KY. We were mostly drinking Kool-Aid, though. Pop was a big treat. My fav Kool-Aid flavor was black cherry.
My go-to old-timey phrase is “Goodness SAKES”.
off topic, but i think i’m developing a carpal tunnel situation here. i bought a wrist wrap/splint. Not pretty and I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to it.
I’m guilty of old time tried and true pharses like “Blow me”. I think that is credited to Charles Lindbergh when Amelia Earhart asked him if she could go along to Paris. I think it was origanily pharesd as a question.
“Go fuck yourself” was first said in 1923 when famous contortionist Lou Jacobs asked his then carine boss for a raise of $3.00 above the $25.00 a week he was making.
I also like to say…”Bob’s your uncle…and your Dad”!
No specific reason at all.
I bet you can tell where I am from with this post…
There used to be a very popular soda plant here called American Soda Water. Ghods, that was great soda water, it came in all different flavours like pineapple, strawberry, rhubarb, ginger, and other wonderful things.
So, as for anachronisms, I call soda, soda water….
Though most people in the area have shortened it to Soda.
I also have a certain dialect being from the “Sout” side of town, and therefore still use some of the word shortening or pronunciations that drive my boyfriend up the wall.
“Sout side”, “Soda Water”, “Sout side Fishwrap (newspaper)”, PA-Ta-Tuh (potato), Fon-jooo-lack, (Fond du Lac), and of course, the ubiquitous “Bubbler” (drinking fountain to you weirdos), one thing I never realized was regional was the prevalence of the Friday Night Fish Fry, until we were out of state and were hungry on a Friday, when we called around to various places we were real surprised that they didn’t have a Fish Fry.
I also tend to spell things in British English, why, I haven’t the foggiest….
~Aqua
I my grandmother used to tell us that if we got into any trouble that she’d be on us “like ducks on a June bug”.
I still use that phrase myself from time to time.
I am 51 and I admit to saying “tin foil” from time to time…also “cream rinse” = conditioner (for hair) and pocketbook = purse/handbag, The worst “old fashioned” word I’ve heard in recent times was a woman using the word “mulatto” for a person of mixed race….yikes!