The moment we sit down to a meal at our house, the older Secret drains his drink. Without hesitation. It just disappears in a single extended gulping session, and the whole thing bothers me for some reason.
Toney can’t understand my irritation, and we sometimes have low-grade arguments about it. “Why do you care?” she asks. “Because it’s ridiculous,” I say.
I don’t think he’s doing it on purpose, or trying to be wacky, I believe it’s just a habit. And I often say, “You know, you can drink water throughout the day. You don’t have to wait until mealtime.” And everybody gets irritated with me.
He does it in restaurants, too. The waitress brings our drinks, and his glass has nothing but ice cubes in it before I’ve had a chance to get the wrapper off my straw. Then I roll my eyes, Toney rolls her eyes at me rolling my eyes, and the Secret mutters, “Sorry,” in the exasperated tone of a teenager.
It’s an ongoing issue: not a huge deal, but something that succeeds in getting under my skin, and causing sporadic tension inside Chez Kay.
Of course, I do something along the same lines – and get kinda pissed when someone makes a comment about it. So yeah, I’m a hypocrite. What of it?
At the end of my meals, you see, I almost always leave one bite on my plate. Everything is cleaned and shiny, except for one remaining forkful of food.
“Why don’t you eat that?” Toney says.
“I’ve hit the wall,” I answer.
“It’s one bite. What are you, Mr. Creosote?”
“I don’t want it.”
So it gets scraped into the garbage disposal, right behind a huge sigh of irritation. But I don’t do it on purpose, I swear I don’t. In fact, I’ve left one bite my entire life.
I remember when I was a kid my grandmother had a BIG problem with it. She grew up during the depression, and all that stuff, and it pained her to throw away food. I think she would sometimes wrap a single pinto bean in Saran Wrap, to heat up later. But I could be a little off on that memory…
In any case, my granny and I would go round and round about that last bite. But I couldn’t eat it, the thought of it made me sick — only the final bite. Wonder what a psychiatrist would say about that? Any of you care to guess?
And do you, or anyone you know, have a weird lifelong food habit you’d care to report? Are you aware of anyone else who eats his meal right up to the last bite, and can’t go any further? Like, every single time? Use the comments section below.
And this is a catch-up (not ketchup) update, since I couldn’t get it done on Monday. I’ll try to post something late in the afternoon on Tuesday, as well. I’m going to be out of town on Thursday/Friday, so it’s already going to be a short week here…
More to come…
Where is everybody?
Is this thing on?
Okay my weird food deal is people who go out for a burger and fries and totally finish the burger, then start on the french fries as if they are a totally seperate, second course to the meal. Man, where I grew up, you shovelled ’em all into your mouth at the same time.
First time ever in top ten… What the hell is going on?
My only MUST is having something to drink with food. I simply don’t understand people that can eat without something to wash it down with. And I have to have a napkin of some kind. Even if the food isn’t messy. As a kid, I wouldn’t even pick up my fork unless I had a wet wash cloth next to me. Yep, it was the beginning of my OCD.
Also, totally agree on the eating burger/fries at same time.
TOP TEN!?! Whoo Hoo!
I think don’t have any strange eating habits – better ask the BF – unless making sure I have at least a gallon of wine nearby to guzzle down …
Not sure about you but when I get to the last few forkfuls I realise I’m full. Too lazy to Google but the brain takes somewhere between 15-20 to signal that you’re full. Probably nothing serious but what do I know, I’m not a M.D. Maybe you have D.I.D, you black out and your other personality, Hef (heh) eats until the last bite when he switches back to confuse and irritate you. (Cue evil laughter)
Weird food habits:
Craving popcorn, microwaving a bag, eating a few mouthfuls and throwing the rest away since cold popcorn tastes like cardboard.
Ketchup. Nasty. Never ever eaten unless I have cold greasy fries. Shame I can’t put ketchup on popcorn.
Grapefruit similar to the popcorn habit, I crave grapefruit. Ask myself if I really really want it. Slice one up and after a few bites realise its too damn sour or say I’m full.
Can’t eat nanas in public. Too phallic. Don’t like them anyway.
Eat certain foods in size order.
Can’t have milky drinks when I’m out for practical (read embarrassing) reasons.
Wow! This is a good morning!
Not to be some kind of sniveling sycophant, but these don’t seem outrageous to me. My dad would have completely lost his mind if I would have sat down to eat and immediately drained my drink. Good table manners were very important in our household, and that would have been considered outside of the penumbra.
My mother has always left a bite of food on her plate. As bad as my grandmother’s cooking was I am sure that my mother was conditioned to choke down as much as she could but not one bite more. Oh, and I have a friend whose grandfather always left a bite and said (in Italian, because he was Italian), leave a little for the angels.
Be glad you have a wife who knows who Mr. Creosote is and can use his name in jokes properly ; )
I think the “don’t drink your water before eating” is a WV thing. My mother never let us kids drink something until after we were finished eating. I’ve only recently broken this habit, and I’m 47 now…
I eat most candy like a normal person would, except for a Mounds bar. Those I have to daintily gnaw all the chocolate off the outside first, and then eat the coconut middle part.
Hell, your Secret will do just fine in AF Basic Training where they required us to drink 4 tall glasses of water before we could eat any food.
When I was a kid visiting an uncle in Delaware at Thanksgiving, I was told I had to drink my drink either before or after, but never during the meal. I suspect Uncle Buzzy was on crack.
Oh yea. Top 10
Vegetables are last.
I have some quirks about milk. I can only drink it out of a spotlessly clean dry glass – no refills in the same glass, and if someone else drinks out of my glass…I have to start all over. Actually it is dairy in general. My husband took a lick of my ice cream once and I was done with it. If I found someone drinking out of the jug – I would throw the whole thing out! And don’t even think about nibbling my cheese stick! Hah!
Also, now I’m craving a Mounds candy bar.
Myself and my youngest daughter are ‘one-bite’ left over folks as well. Welcome to the club.
Next time you sit down with the family each of you should try and beat your son to the race to down the drink. Just take a look at him when he comes in last.
Growing up we had 7 in our family but only had a table for 6; so drinks were not permitted until the end of the meal. It took me years to touch the drink before the food arrived. Waitresses and waiters use to ask if something was wrong.
Don’t sweat it….I usually clean my plate and sop it up with the last bite of biscuit….then clean up everybody elses. You’d be safe with the “happy plate” at my table.
Top 20
@clintcurtis – I’m the exact opposite. Whenever I eat fast food burgers and fries, I always eat all my fries before I even open my burger. I don’t remember when it started but it drives my wife absolutely nuts. If I get a burger and fries served on a plate I will alternate between the two. I guess because it doesn’t come wrapped.
Willie beat me to the punch, the only thing crazier than eating a burger and fries seperately would be to eat the burger first. Fries are always first.
I too suffer from the final bite syndrome. Thought it was odd until they started advertising one diet pill with the phrase, “if we could just leave one bite on our plates”.
a whole bunch of you guys must have been chinese in a previous life. it is considered good manners there to leave one bite on your plate, indicating that your host served you so generously that you were unable to finish. you are also required to belch loudly. yes, i leave one bite also..what of it?
I don’t like straws in my drinks. I usually take them out if I’m in a restaurant or if it’s fast food, I’ll take the whole lid off. We drink beer without a straw so why does soda need one?
There is no reason a grown adult needs a straw unless they just had major surgery on their jaw or are so old they can’t drink with dribbling everywhere.
My food is not permitted to touch on my plate and I eat one thing at a time. Also, fries first burger second. OCD is an amazing thing…
OK…get the therapists on the line because this is a doozy…
When I was a kid, I’d wolf down my food. My great-grandmother HATED it and finally scared me into thinking I would choke to death if I didn’t slow down and chew my food up long enough.
She had me count my chews for every bite.
Unfortunately, I still do this .
I can’t help it.
A bite of toast? 7-10 chews…
A potato chip? 5-8 chews…
A piece of steak? 16-20 chews…
Sometimes just to make fun of me, Mr.Man will turn to me during dinner and say, “How many chews was that?”
My quirk, and it drives wifey crazy, is I drink a whole bottle of water except for the last little bit and then go Ahhhhh and then finish it off. I think it’s genetic. My dad used to do it and so did his dad. Weird huh?
OMG….food quirk alert!!!
I can’t drink the last bit of milk in the container. I know my problem is all in my head, but all of the bacteria sits on the bottom of the milk container and so I can’t drink the last of the milk. It makes me gag and I have to spill it out.
Now I know it is all in my head for the simple fact that, when you pour the milk, whatever was on the bottom before, may not be on the bottom again.
But hey…you have your quirk…I have mine.
🙂
I used to be a “one bite left” person, but now, it depends on how hungry I am. I think things changed after our first child was born. As a mom, you learn to eat as much as you can while it’s still hot and in front of you.
Our oldest will guzzle drinks down at restaurants, but at home, he generally won’t even get a drink until *after* the meal… I’m like BamaGwyn – I have to have something to drink along with the meal every time. I don’t get people who can eat something with no drink.
YOU CAN EAT THE FIRST END OF A PICKLE BUT NEVER THE OTHER?
No food issues here, if I’m hungry, I clean the plate. If not it goes to the trash. I drink while I eat. I also like to share food, if your plate has something interesting on it, my fork might come for a visit and likewise. It doesn’t bother me. My older brother will not allow any food item to touch on his plate. He spends more time moving food away than he does eating it. I tell him it’s gonna get mixed up when you eat it but but he just gives me a mean look and I start stirring everything on my plate all together. Mean, aren’t I.
i’m with trisha – no foods touching each other on the plate and i only eat one thing at a time. yes i know, it all gets mixed up in the end anyway, and no i don’t mind foods that are already mixed together. that’s just how i am. i’ve always been that way, and i don’t expect i’ll change.
I prefer drinking from plastic cups, not glass. I just like the lighter weight and the knowledge that if I was to drop it I wouldn’t be stepping on and cleaning up broken glass. Plastic is also safer to wash (i.e. just toss it in the sink full of soapy water and scrub.) Maybe it’s just too many years as a dishwasher and waiter…and the ensuing multiple cuts to my hands from broken glass. Or maybe it’s because of too many falling down drunken moments?
I’ll also use the same cup at home for days on end. I don’t really mind doing dishes but why do more than you have to? This past weekend I drank milk in the morning, rinsed cup, iced tea in the afternoon, rinsed cup and rye and ginger at night, repeat on Sunday. I do give it a thorough rinse with very hot water, which probably cleans the cup as good as half the dishwashers (people and machine) in the world…
Drinking with a straw prevents my lipstick from smearing on the glass.
My youngest angel is a “no-foods-touching” and an “eat-each-food-separately”…the oldest always asks if there are seconds after her first bite of the firsts. My wife is a hardcore straw girls…never drinks from a glass without it. I tend to bolt my food, as only an ex-restaurant manager can. I once demolished a 12-ounce NY Steak in six minutes. Felt like hell for hours..
@WhiteTrashBarbie:
“My dad would have completely lost his mind if I would have sat down to eat and immediately drained my drink. Good table manners were very important in our household, and that would have been considered outside of the penumbra. ”
Wow, I’m sure glad I don’t live in a universe where being thirsty is a thing about which people can get offended.
I use a straw whenever I am drinking a mixed drink but not if I am drinking a non alcoholic beverage. I go thru a lot of straws.
I was always told that it was good manners to leave 1 bite of food on your plate. It meant to signal the cook or host that you had been fed well and enjoyed your meal.
Good Morning Surf Reporters….
Wendy’s chili. I’ll use my spoon to siphon off all the “juice”, almost like I was eating a bowl of soup. Once all the broth is gone, then I’ll finish up the beans and beef.
Sweet baby Jeebus, I never knew there were so many food neuroses out there!
My parents are Depression era kids (they had me late, what of it?), so it was an absolute sin to waste food. If I had left one bite on my plate I would have been made to sit there until it was done, well into the night if need be. The end result is I always clean my plate and I get racked with terrible guilt if I have to throw any food out, spoiled or not.
My husband once roomed with a Sri Lankan guy who would exclaim “Good stuff!” after every meal. He picked it up and does it to this day, accent and all.
I read an interview with, I think, Paul Rankin (Irish/TV chef) who said that he doesn’t have any fluids an hour before and an hour after eating a meal ….
Reckons that you’d be diluting all the nutrional goodness from the foods which would be slushing around in the stomach …
…and I’m not a big sweets person, hardly ever, but on occasion if I indulge in a Hostess cupcake or Zinger, I’ll peel the icing off like a lid, eat the cake part, then eat the icing last.
Talk about sugar shock.
Leave the boy alone! He is actually doing something HEALTHY, and he’s come up with it all on his own!
By drinking before you eat, you help keep from over eating! He’s probably saving you a few buck too – and your gonna need them when he gets a little older!!!
I also refuse to leave food on my plate. It exasperates the hell out of me that my three-year-old son consistently eats about 1/3 of the food I put on his plate, and then starts playing with the rest until we take it away and tell him to get lost.
My main idiosyncrasy is that during a meal, particularly in a restaurant with someone bringing them to me, I will polish off between 7-8 cups of water and/or soda. I just drink staggering amounts of liquid.
I had a friend whose father would not allow drinks at the table during meal time. Only after they had finished eating were they allowed to drink.
I can’t imagine it.
I don’t have any really weird food issues that I can think of.
I eat kind of fast, but not so fast that people complain.
We did grow up with the “clean plate” rule in my house, and I still have a hard time stopping eating when something tastes good, even when I’m full. But that’s why I jog…otherwise I’d be enormous.
I had a roommate once who would never finish the last ounce of a car of beer. He said it was nasty. Sometimes he had a rub in his mouth when he drank, so maybe it was true. My cousin is so anal about the no foods touching thing that she went out a bought some plates with dividers in them, like the school cafeteria trays. And she’s 45! I guess once an OCD, always an OCD.
I eat like a prison inmate, years and years of my sister eating all of her food and then starting on mine meant I’d have to beat her to the punch. I’ve been trying to break this habit since I know it’s a shocking sight.
My stepdad would only drink a half cup of coffee. I used to ask him why he didn’t just pour half a cup and he’d say that he didn’t want a half cup…WTF!!!
That’s all I got!!!!
I don’t think I have any weird food habits.
I rarely eat leftovers though. I can’t stand heated up food.
Now you’ve gotten me all paranoid because I don’t think I have any odd food habits. I’ll have to ask.
I don’t typically drink anything with my meals. I was indoctrinated by my grandmother to believe that drinking during a meal was like swilling the hogs. I will give into peer pressure and ask for water in a restaurant, but that’s mostly for show or in case something gets stuck. Water-only still gets me the “cheap bastard” look from the waitstaff, though. And you absolutely have to clean your plate because grandma still remembers when they had little to eat in WWII Germany. Waste not, want not. Dirty, nasty farm pigeon soup, anyone? It tastes better than you think.
Couldn’t think of any food habits until the coffee was mentioned. Will not drink hot coffee. Needs to be cooled off with two ice cubes before I drink it. Leftover coffee from the day before is perfect!
Did you know- Brett Favre is holding another team hostage?
On IPOD right now- “Body Slam”- Bootsy’s Rubber Band
I’m with Kristin and Trisha…my food is not permitted to touch on my plate and I eat one thing at a time. I’m also a one-bite leaver, and must have a napkin with me at every meal. I guess I do have some food issues…sigh.
I guess I’m a “no foods touching” guy, but the older I get the less I care.
I have an inlaw that can demolish two or three plate fulls of food at a sitting (we’ll call him ‘Bob’). He grew up dirt poor and I suppose he’s making up for lost meals.
I recently sat down with some family and said, “I’m so hungry, I could eat like Bob.” They all knew what I meant, but then someone mentioned that they had noticed Bob had always ate one thing at a time on his plate before he’d move on to the next item. I’d never heard of such a thing, but now I see there are others out there. Go figure.