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[VJ] Who Are the Ugliest Celebrities?

May 10, 2012 By Jeff 89 Comments

Hello, Surf Reporters! Virtual Jeff here again. My duty is beginning to wind-down, and real Jeff wants me to tell you he’s  rating his project a B+ so far. Whatever that means. He’ll be back on Monday.

The next Question in my database is what they call a classic. It’s the kind of question people like to ponder while quaffing a few brews on a Saturday night. And it is, of course: Who Are the Ugliest Celebrities?

Please use the comments link below, and I’ll have another Question for you guys tomorrow, at 9 a.m., Eastern.

Goodbye.

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Filed Under: Daily

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Mike U says

    May 10, 2012 at 9:11 am

    ha

    Reply
  2. NDfaninAZ says

    May 10, 2012 at 9:24 am

    Steve Buscemi.

    Reply
    • madz1962 says

      May 10, 2012 at 10:19 am

      I read a one-liner on “Overheard in New York”… “I can’t help but think that the air I breathe may have once passed through Steve Buscemi’s teeth…”

      Reply
  3. Mra23 says

    May 10, 2012 at 9:25 am

    Love his acting, but Steve Buscemi is one ugly dude!

    Reply
    • chill says

      May 10, 2012 at 8:19 pm

      I’m not so sure he’s ugly, so much as just… you know, funny-looking.
      .

      Reply
  4. Tiff says

    May 10, 2012 at 9:25 am

    Ryan Gosling. I do NOT understand what people see in him, at all.

    Reply
    • SaucyDeb says

      May 10, 2012 at 12:11 pm

      Are you crazy, Tiff? Even if he’s not your cup of tea, you couldn’t call him “ugly”..

      For the record.. Yum. 🙂

      Reply
      • Tiff says

        May 11, 2012 at 9:28 am

        Substitute Kris Kristofferson, then. Both of them have beady lil’ close-set eyes and I don’t understand what made/makes people swoon over them.

        Reply
  5. Joey Jo Jo says

    May 10, 2012 at 10:13 am

    As far as “attractive” stars go, Julia Roberts is funny-looking, and walks like a linebacker.

    Otherwise, Sandra Bernhard is maybe the ugliest person ever.

    Reply
    • WB in OH says

      May 10, 2012 at 10:19 am

      Wow, I forgot about her. She is quite unfortunate looking.

      Reply
    • SaucyDeb says

      May 10, 2012 at 12:38 pm

      I’m right there with ya!!! You’re very kind by calling Sandra Bernhard “unfortunate looking”. I have no idea what all fuss is about Julia Roberts. She’s not ugly but certainly not beautiful.

      Reply
      • WB in OH says

        May 10, 2012 at 3:24 pm

        I’m pretty sure I stole that from a fellow reporter.

        Reply
    • hot fuzz says

      May 10, 2012 at 12:43 pm

      For a moment I thought you meant Sandra Bullock and I was thinking wtf? never mind… stand down from the alert.

      Reply
    • bikerchick says

      May 10, 2012 at 1:44 pm

      Not a Julia Roberts fan either. No grace for the hype to live up to.

      Reply
    • Ed says

      May 10, 2012 at 6:21 pm

      The appeal of Julia Roberts to some people has always escaped me. Sandra Bullock? Beautiful. Julia Roberts? Strikingly odd-looking and irritating.

      Reply
    • Vegasrandall says

      May 11, 2012 at 3:28 pm

      Praise de lawd that julia roberts and lyle lovette never had kids

      Reply
  6. madz1962 says

    May 10, 2012 at 10:20 am

    Carrot Top. Freak.

    Hey, today I celebrate a half century of living!

    Reply
    • WB in OH says

      May 10, 2012 at 10:24 am

      Congrats!

      Reply
    • Bill in WV says

      May 10, 2012 at 10:54 am

      Happy Birthday madz and many, many more. I’m a year behind you and hit that mark one week from today.

      Reply
    • SaucyDeb says

      May 10, 2012 at 12:39 pm

      Happy Birthday!!

      Reply
    • bikerchick says

      May 10, 2012 at 1:36 pm

      HapHapHappy Birfday you old fart! I’m right behind you by about a year. Not quite old fart just yet….more like silent but deadly!! Have a wonderful day to my Surf friend!

      Reply
      • madz1962 says

        May 10, 2012 at 2:29 pm

        Thanks everyone! So far, I was taken to lunch, came back to the office and someone organized cake and brownies! Hey, this 50 AARP shit is nice. I wonde rif I can now request “nap time”???

        Reply
        • bikerchick says

          May 10, 2012 at 2:42 pm

          Have you received the emails for a “Roust-About” yet? One of those motorized wheelchairs? Welp, just wait. I haven’t hit 5-0 yet and those bastards email me at least twice a week. I didn’t even get tennis balls for my walker yet…give an old bitch a chance! Jeez!

          Reply
          • madz1962 says

            May 10, 2012 at 3:09 pm

            No “Scooters” yet but I am a proud AARP card carrying gal.

            I’d better stop at CVS on my way home tonight – I need to stock up on rain bonnets!

            Reply
            • clintcurtis says

              May 10, 2012 at 6:54 pm

              Hey madz, 55 is even nicer! I get the senior discount at grocery stores and restaurants. Plus, if I survive my potentially life threatening illness, I’ll be able to get the much vaunted Handicap Parking Permit, I get to ride the handicap elevator at work, and if I’m real lucky, may even qualify for a Rascal Scooter (although how that would work out in Nome I couldn’t tell you…but my kids have been bugging me to but them an ATV!)

              Happy birthday, madz….We may only have a short ride on this planet, so make the most of each day.

              Reply
              • johnthebasket says

                May 10, 2012 at 11:05 pm

                clint…

                That would be a Rascal Scooter with Blizzaks.

                John

                Reply
    • The Kuban says

      May 10, 2012 at 2:13 pm

      Happy Birthday Madz!!!

      Reply
      • CitizenX says

        May 10, 2012 at 3:15 pm

        Happy Birthday!

        Reply
    • Greg says

      May 10, 2012 at 3:25 pm

      Happy Birthday, madz!

      Reply
    • Alex says

      May 10, 2012 at 4:14 pm

      Happy Birthday!

      If you happen to live around the corner from me and go by the name Karen, there’s a surprise waiting on your front lawn, least of which is the Happy 50th sign.

      Reply
    • dto says

      May 11, 2012 at 12:03 am

      Happy ‘I was born naked ‘ day madz1962!!

      Reply
    • Tiff says

      May 11, 2012 at 9:31 am

      Congratulations! I’m right on your heels and got the AAARP invite the other day. Heck YES I’m signing up!

      Reply
  7. Tipsey McChugney says

    May 10, 2012 at 10:49 am

    J Mascis comes to mind immediately for some reason. I am certain that I can think of some others….Lemme get back with you Virtual Jeff.

    By the way, you have done a solid state job this week, VJ. You blinded me with science; even more entertaining than Thomas Dolby.

    Reply
  8. Bill in WV says

    May 10, 2012 at 10:56 am

    Shelly Duval comes to mind. Wotta bag.

    Reply
    • madz1962 says

      May 10, 2012 at 11:04 am

      Good one! I think it’s her thin hair and enormous ears. You almost wished Jack Nicholson would have whacked her with the axe to put her out of her misery.

      Reply
      • bikerchick says

        May 10, 2012 at 1:42 pm

        She is the perfect Olive Oyle!

        Reply
  9. BillyR-in-Dunbar says

    May 10, 2012 at 10:57 am

    Tommy Lee Jones. Still the winner for me.

    Reply
  10. Jet Flet says

    May 10, 2012 at 10:59 am

    I am going to have to say Nicki Minaj …… I just can’t seem to find anything right about her….. buttock implants? enough said.

    Reply
  11. Gretchen says

    May 10, 2012 at 11:27 am

    Sarah Jessica Parker

    Mickey Rourke, post-boxing and plastic surgery

    Reply
    • clintcurtis says

      May 10, 2012 at 12:42 pm

      Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “Hey Sarah, why the long face?”

      Reply
      • JDL says

        May 10, 2012 at 7:55 pm

        A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “Hey Sarah, what can I get you?”

        Reply
  12. Al K. Hall says

    May 10, 2012 at 11:53 am

    Steven Tyler is uglier than a mud fence.

    Reply
  13. dorothy says

    May 10, 2012 at 12:27 pm

    i vote for sissy spacek. i saw her today on morning joe and she looked like a bag lady, her hair was sticking out in all directions and she didn’t have a scrap of makeup on. what’s wrong with their makeup dept to let her on live tv looking like that. aaaagh!!!

    Reply
  14. duff says

    May 10, 2012 at 12:33 pm

    That’s a very flattering photo of Shane McGowan, you should see him now after a half century of boozing.

    I assume VJ is referring to Virtual Jeff, not former hack VJ’s.

    Reply
    • johnthebasket says

      May 10, 2012 at 11:02 pm

      Just to clarify, Jenny McCarthy is a former hack VJ. Duff is a former model patient and current sweetheart. Note the huge difference.

      John

      Reply
  15. Vicki says

    May 10, 2012 at 12:35 pm

    Renee Zellwegger or as I fondly refer to her: The Little Toadie

    Reply
    • The Kuban says

      May 10, 2012 at 2:09 pm

      “Hey Jerry, did you know the human head weighs eight pounds?”

      Or in Renee’s case, eighteen. It’s so weird that even though she’s starved herself down to an anorexic stick, her head is still the size of a basketball!!

      The same goes for Minnie Driver.

      Frankly it gives me the heebie jeebies.

      Reply
      • NDfaninAZ says

        May 10, 2012 at 9:05 pm

        Another big-headed one: Kelly Osborne.

        Reply
  16. Max says

    May 10, 2012 at 12:39 pm

    Lemmy from Motorhead has to be one of the ugliest people alive.

    Reply
    • Wisey in TTown says

      May 13, 2012 at 8:09 am

      You nailed it, the contest is over. That is all.

      Reply
  17. SaucyDeb says

    May 10, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    Tom Petty is the ugliest man in rock and roll.

    Reply
    • madz1962 says

      May 10, 2012 at 1:57 pm

      Followed closely by Johnny and Edgar WInter.

      Reply
      • UFMonica says

        May 10, 2012 at 2:16 pm

        I disagree! Clearly you have not laid eyes on Geddy Lee…

        Reply
        • Michelle says

          May 10, 2012 at 3:00 pm

          I love Rush, but you ain’t just whistlin’ Dixie, Geddy Lee is alarming. He’s a little less so now that he’s older, though, for some reason.

          Reply
          • MinipedsInNOLA says

            May 10, 2012 at 10:19 pm

            Or any of The Ramones?

            Reply
  18. Mike U says

    May 10, 2012 at 1:16 pm

    Ron Howard’s brother, and Ron Howard for that matter.

    Reply
  19. Bill in WV says

    May 10, 2012 at 1:22 pm

    Remember, ugly travels in packs !

    Reply
    • Bill in WV says

      May 10, 2012 at 4:00 pm

      Hence, The Rolling Stones are still touring.

      Reply
  20. Al K. Hall says

    May 10, 2012 at 1:47 pm

    Whoopi Goldberg

    Reply
  21. bikerchick says

    May 10, 2012 at 1:49 pm

    Lyle Lovett. Really Julia?!?
    Mike Tyson. For the love of God…shut the fuck up.
    Peter Griffin. After all, he does have balls for a chin.

    Reply
  22. The Kuban says

    May 10, 2012 at 1:59 pm

    The first guy that came to mind was the creepy/ugly dude in Con Air. Turns out (after my google search) that it’s Steve Buscemi. Who knew! Since someone already said that, it’s back to the drawing board. Stay tuned.

    Reply
  23. The Kuban says

    May 10, 2012 at 2:12 pm

    Oooh, Oooh! Here are a few…

    Dennis Franz
    Joan Cusack
    Iggy Pop

    Reply
  24. madz1962 says

    May 10, 2012 at 3:14 pm

    Another fugball: Rosie O’Donnell

    Reply
    • bikerchick says

      May 10, 2012 at 3:58 pm

      “Fugball”…. I hope the Crystal Light I just spit all over my Blackberry key pad doesn’t make it too sticky!! LMAO!!

      Reply
  25. Uncle_Wedgie says

    May 10, 2012 at 4:32 pm

    Kim Kardashian.

    Reply
  26. johnthebasket says

    May 10, 2012 at 4:47 pm

    Happy birthday. Getting any?

    jtb

    Reply
  27. T. Farty McAppleass says

    May 10, 2012 at 4:59 pm

    Marty Feldman
    Carrot Top
    Gary Busey
    Willie Nelson
    Clint Howard
    Flava Flave

    Reply
    • johnthebasket says

      May 10, 2012 at 5:07 pm

      T…

      You can have the rest, but Willie Nelson is a damn handsome man and a national monument. The only time he’s not handsome is when he’s not smoking weed, and that never happens.

      jtb

      Reply
    • Ed says

      May 10, 2012 at 7:12 pm

      I agree with the rest of your list, but I must come to the defense of Marty Feldman. He made that look WORK, damn it!

      Reply
    • NDfaninAZ says

      May 10, 2012 at 9:02 pm

      Gary Busey! YES! His son has the same horse teeth.

      Reply
      • T. Farty McAppleass says

        May 10, 2012 at 9:49 pm

        I shouldn’t have picked on Willie. Marty has eyes that are set like a fucking hammerhead shark. He has to hold his head sideways to look straight ahead. So fuck him.

        Reply
      • MinipedsInNOLA says

        May 10, 2012 at 10:21 pm

        My husband and I always call him “the spawn of Busey” because he looks so unfortunately like his dad.

        Reply
    • Jed says

      May 10, 2012 at 11:02 pm

      Flava flav. Seeing those women fawn over him was fantastic. No man should think his chances are any less after seeing Flava tongue kissing most of his “candidates”.

      Reply
      • T. Farty McAppleass says

        May 11, 2012 at 7:54 am

        Good point Jed. I’ve been hoisting myself on women since that show first aired. It gave me the misguided confidence I’ve always lacked. Now I’ll dry hump a woman’s leg in the mall and think nothing of it. Thanks Flava!

        Reply
  28. Theresa says

    May 10, 2012 at 5:24 pm

    Maggie Gylenhall

    Reply
    • MinipedsInNOLA says

      May 10, 2012 at 10:29 pm

      Yes! Droopy face! But strangely I didn’t find her sharply unattractive in Stranger than Fiction.

      Reply
  29. crystal says

    May 10, 2012 at 5:50 pm

    1. Donatella Versace
    2.Jocelyn Wildenstein

    Reply
  30. DaveF says

    May 10, 2012 at 6:15 pm

    Liza Minelli
    Barbara Streisand
    Cheeseburger Oprah

    Reply
  31. Ed says

    May 10, 2012 at 7:24 pm

    These are old but worth looking up:

    Klaus Kinski

    Jack Elam

    Ben Turpin

    Rondo Hatton

    Reply
  32. Milissa "Jeff was married on by birthday" Sampson says

    May 10, 2012 at 7:44 pm

    Jocelyn Weinstein – oh good lord what is she thinking?

    Reply
  33. chill says

    May 10, 2012 at 7:45 pm

    I was going to say Iggy Pop, then Sarah Jessica Parker. But I’ve been beaten to the punch and now have to fall back on George Clinton.
    .

    Reply
  34. Ed says

    May 10, 2012 at 8:16 pm

    Ooh, ooh! Thom Yorke!

    Reply
  35. MinipedsInNOLA says

    May 10, 2012 at 10:23 pm

    What in the hell!? When I post on here and don’t enter a website it links to “http://regardingtheVDtests” ?’ is this a VJ prank?

    Reply
    • chill says

      May 11, 2012 at 6:29 am

      It’s been doing that for some time. My guess is that one time you accidentally put some text in the ‘website’ box when posting.
      .

      Reply
  36. Gretchen says

    May 11, 2012 at 12:02 am

    If anyone’s interested in seeing what Japan is up to now:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vhHo6CUq4-o#!

    Reply
    • johnthebasket says

      May 11, 2012 at 1:44 am

      As deeply disturbing as the ass robot is, I have to wonder what in the name of Bill Clinton you were searching for that led you to that in the first place.

      John

      Reply
      • bikerchick says

        May 11, 2012 at 8:52 am

        Gretchen is a pro at finding the most obscure and bizarre shit on the internet that I have ever witnessed!!

        Reply
      • Gretchen says

        May 11, 2012 at 11:17 am

        I saw it over on io9.com (geek site) filed under their WTF section. I knew my fellow surf reporters should not be deprived of this particular weird shit.

        Reply
  37. Anonymous says

    May 12, 2012 at 9:18 am

    I can’t believe no one mentioned Tori Spelling.

    Reply

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