Hello, Surf Reporters! Virtual Jeff here again. My duty is beginning to wind-down, and real Jeff wants me to tell you he’s rating his project a B+ so far. Whatever that means. He’ll be back on Monday.
The next Question in my database is what they call a classic. It’s the kind of question people like to ponder while quaffing a few brews on a Saturday night. And it is, of course: Who Are the Ugliest Celebrities?
Please use the comments link below, and I’ll have another Question for you guys tomorrow, at 9 a.m., Eastern.
Goodbye.
ha
Steve Buscemi.
I read a one-liner on “Overheard in New York”… “I can’t help but think that the air I breathe may have once passed through Steve Buscemi’s teeth…”
Love his acting, but Steve Buscemi is one ugly dude!
I’m not so sure he’s ugly, so much as just… you know, funny-looking.
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Ryan Gosling. I do NOT understand what people see in him, at all.
Are you crazy, Tiff? Even if he’s not your cup of tea, you couldn’t call him “ugly”..
For the record.. Yum. 🙂
Substitute Kris Kristofferson, then. Both of them have beady lil’ close-set eyes and I don’t understand what made/makes people swoon over them.
As far as “attractive” stars go, Julia Roberts is funny-looking, and walks like a linebacker.
Otherwise, Sandra Bernhard is maybe the ugliest person ever.
Wow, I forgot about her. She is quite unfortunate looking.
I’m right there with ya!!! You’re very kind by calling Sandra Bernhard “unfortunate looking”. I have no idea what all fuss is about Julia Roberts. She’s not ugly but certainly not beautiful.
I’m pretty sure I stole that from a fellow reporter.
For a moment I thought you meant Sandra Bullock and I was thinking wtf? never mind… stand down from the alert.
Not a Julia Roberts fan either. No grace for the hype to live up to.
The appeal of Julia Roberts to some people has always escaped me. Sandra Bullock? Beautiful. Julia Roberts? Strikingly odd-looking and irritating.
Praise de lawd that julia roberts and lyle lovette never had kids
Carrot Top. Freak.
Hey, today I celebrate a half century of living!
Congrats!
Happy Birthday madz and many, many more. I’m a year behind you and hit that mark one week from today.
Happy Birthday!!
HapHapHappy Birfday you old fart! I’m right behind you by about a year. Not quite old fart just yet….more like silent but deadly!! Have a wonderful day to my Surf friend!
Thanks everyone! So far, I was taken to lunch, came back to the office and someone organized cake and brownies! Hey, this 50 AARP shit is nice. I wonde rif I can now request “nap time”???
Have you received the emails for a “Roust-About” yet? One of those motorized wheelchairs? Welp, just wait. I haven’t hit 5-0 yet and those bastards email me at least twice a week. I didn’t even get tennis balls for my walker yet…give an old bitch a chance! Jeez!
No “Scooters” yet but I am a proud AARP card carrying gal.
I’d better stop at CVS on my way home tonight – I need to stock up on rain bonnets!
Hey madz, 55 is even nicer! I get the senior discount at grocery stores and restaurants. Plus, if I survive my potentially life threatening illness, I’ll be able to get the much vaunted Handicap Parking Permit, I get to ride the handicap elevator at work, and if I’m real lucky, may even qualify for a Rascal Scooter (although how that would work out in Nome I couldn’t tell you…but my kids have been bugging me to but them an ATV!)
Happy birthday, madz….We may only have a short ride on this planet, so make the most of each day.
clint…
That would be a Rascal Scooter with Blizzaks.
John
Happy Birthday Madz!!!
Happy Birthday!
Happy Birthday, madz!
Happy Birthday!
If you happen to live around the corner from me and go by the name Karen, there’s a surprise waiting on your front lawn, least of which is the Happy 50th sign.
Happy ‘I was born naked ‘ day madz1962!!
Congratulations! I’m right on your heels and got the AAARP invite the other day. Heck YES I’m signing up!
J Mascis comes to mind immediately for some reason. I am certain that I can think of some others….Lemme get back with you Virtual Jeff.
By the way, you have done a solid state job this week, VJ. You blinded me with science; even more entertaining than Thomas Dolby.
Shelly Duval comes to mind. Wotta bag.
Good one! I think it’s her thin hair and enormous ears. You almost wished Jack Nicholson would have whacked her with the axe to put her out of her misery.
She is the perfect Olive Oyle!
Tommy Lee Jones. Still the winner for me.
I am going to have to say Nicki Minaj …… I just can’t seem to find anything right about her….. buttock implants? enough said.
Sarah Jessica Parker
Mickey Rourke, post-boxing and plastic surgery
Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “Hey Sarah, why the long face?”
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “Hey Sarah, what can I get you?”
Steven Tyler is uglier than a mud fence.
i vote for sissy spacek. i saw her today on morning joe and she looked like a bag lady, her hair was sticking out in all directions and she didn’t have a scrap of makeup on. what’s wrong with their makeup dept to let her on live tv looking like that. aaaagh!!!
That’s a very flattering photo of Shane McGowan, you should see him now after a half century of boozing.
I assume VJ is referring to Virtual Jeff, not former hack VJ’s.
Just to clarify, Jenny McCarthy is a former hack VJ. Duff is a former model patient and current sweetheart. Note the huge difference.
John
Renee Zellwegger or as I fondly refer to her: The Little Toadie
“Hey Jerry, did you know the human head weighs eight pounds?”
Or in Renee’s case, eighteen. It’s so weird that even though she’s starved herself down to an anorexic stick, her head is still the size of a basketball!!
The same goes for Minnie Driver.
Frankly it gives me the heebie jeebies.
Another big-headed one: Kelly Osborne.
Lemmy from Motorhead has to be one of the ugliest people alive.
You nailed it, the contest is over. That is all.
Tom Petty is the ugliest man in rock and roll.
Followed closely by Johnny and Edgar WInter.
I disagree! Clearly you have not laid eyes on Geddy Lee…
I love Rush, but you ain’t just whistlin’ Dixie, Geddy Lee is alarming. He’s a little less so now that he’s older, though, for some reason.
Or any of The Ramones?
Ron Howard’s brother, and Ron Howard for that matter.
Remember, ugly travels in packs !
Hence, The Rolling Stones are still touring.
Whoopi Goldberg
Lyle Lovett. Really Julia?!?
Mike Tyson. For the love of God…shut the fuck up.
Peter Griffin. After all, he does have balls for a chin.
The first guy that came to mind was the creepy/ugly dude in Con Air. Turns out (after my google search) that it’s Steve Buscemi. Who knew! Since someone already said that, it’s back to the drawing board. Stay tuned.
Oooh, Oooh! Here are a few…
Dennis Franz
Joan Cusack
Iggy Pop
Another fugball: Rosie O’Donnell
“Fugball”…. I hope the Crystal Light I just spit all over my Blackberry key pad doesn’t make it too sticky!! LMAO!!
Kim Kardashian.
Happy birthday. Getting any?
jtb
Marty Feldman
Carrot Top
Gary Busey
Willie Nelson
Clint Howard
Flava Flave
T…
You can have the rest, but Willie Nelson is a damn handsome man and a national monument. The only time he’s not handsome is when he’s not smoking weed, and that never happens.
jtb
I agree with the rest of your list, but I must come to the defense of Marty Feldman. He made that look WORK, damn it!
Gary Busey! YES! His son has the same horse teeth.
I shouldn’t have picked on Willie. Marty has eyes that are set like a fucking hammerhead shark. He has to hold his head sideways to look straight ahead. So fuck him.
My husband and I always call him “the spawn of Busey” because he looks so unfortunately like his dad.
Flava flav. Seeing those women fawn over him was fantastic. No man should think his chances are any less after seeing Flava tongue kissing most of his “candidates”.
Good point Jed. I’ve been hoisting myself on women since that show first aired. It gave me the misguided confidence I’ve always lacked. Now I’ll dry hump a woman’s leg in the mall and think nothing of it. Thanks Flava!
Maggie Gylenhall
Yes! Droopy face! But strangely I didn’t find her sharply unattractive in Stranger than Fiction.
1. Donatella Versace
2.Jocelyn Wildenstein
Liza Minelli
Barbara Streisand
Cheeseburger Oprah
These are old but worth looking up:
Klaus Kinski
Jack Elam
Ben Turpin
Rondo Hatton
Jocelyn Weinstein – oh good lord what is she thinking?
I was going to say Iggy Pop, then Sarah Jessica Parker. But I’ve been beaten to the punch and now have to fall back on George Clinton.
.
Ooh, ooh! Thom Yorke!
What in the hell!? When I post on here and don’t enter a website it links to “http://regardingtheVDtests” ?’ is this a VJ prank?
It’s been doing that for some time. My guess is that one time you accidentally put some text in the ‘website’ box when posting.
.
If anyone’s interested in seeing what Japan is up to now:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vhHo6CUq4-o#!
As deeply disturbing as the ass robot is, I have to wonder what in the name of Bill Clinton you were searching for that led you to that in the first place.
John
Gretchen is a pro at finding the most obscure and bizarre shit on the internet that I have ever witnessed!!
I saw it over on io9.com (geek site) filed under their WTF section. I knew my fellow surf reporters should not be deprived of this particular weird shit.
I can’t believe no one mentioned Tori Spelling.