Our upstairs bathroom adventure has taken an ugly turn. I don’t even want to get into it… But one thing always leads to another, doesn’t it? It never fails, right?
I’m 46 years old, and know this to be a fact. Yet I’m always shocked by it. Why is that? Hopeful estimating? Naivete? Standard douchery? I don’t know, and don’t really care at this point.
Will somebody please hold me?
I was having “lunch” (8 pm) at work a few days ago, and a woman mentioned that she and her husband already have their cemetery plots, and headstone. They bought them about five years ago, she said.
I thought that was a bit odd, since she’s only 40 or 45, and began asking many questions: the questions everyone else wanted to ask, but didn’t feel comfortable doing so.
Like: Is the headstone already in place at the boneyard?
And yes, it is. In fact, she and her husband spent considerable time designing their halves of the thing. She has a Bible and butterflies on her side, and he has a deer(?!) and birds on his. Weird, man.
Then I wanted to know if they leave flowers at the grave site, and she said they do. Ha!
I also found out the cemetery dude warned them not to put their last names on the stone, since they were so young, and divorce rates are so high. This pissed them off, so they had their last names listed in larger type than normal.
“How about the death dates? Did you list those, as well?” I wanted to know. Apparently they left that part blank, though, to be completed later. And these people call themselves prepared?
Do you think it’s strange, buying your own headstone while you’re still in your late 30s/early 40s? It’s never crossed my mind, not once. Of course I’m going the “burn ’em up” route, but still.
What do you think about it? Tell me in the comments, won’t you? Also, what kind of eternal clipart would you choose for your headstone? I think I’d go with the original smoking fish, and possibly the Nabisco logo. What about you?
Here’s how Harv played it.
And I was having another lunch a few days ago with the younger Secret, at a local diner. The place has been around for decades, and the walls are covered in all manner of framed photos, many autographed.
You know, something along these lines.
I never really paid attention before, but decided to give it a little extra scrutiny this time. And it’s a very strange mixture of things. There’s an amateurish oil painting of Bobby Kennedy (I think), a photograph of Kramer, various unknown old men in golf gear, a few renderings of Jesus (“Thanks for the support!”), an 8×10 of Cary Grant (I think), etc.
There’s no thread or theme, holding any of it together. It’s just stuff people liked, I guess, over the past forty years or so. Pretty cool.
In California there are signed celebrity photos in almost every place of business. Including, I shit you not, Taco Bell. In the location near my old job, in Burbank, there’s dozens and dozens of the things. Including, I believe, both of the Coreys – Haim and Feldman.
But my favorite celebrity diner photo of all time was spotted in Cooperstown, NY, down the street from the Baseball Hall of Fame. It was a promotional 8×10 of Fyvush Finkel, who played Harvey Lipschultz on Boston Legal. How great is that? Man, I loved Harvey Lipschultz…
Do you remember seeing any especially remarkable celebrity diner photos? If so, we need to hear about it.
And if you’ll excuse me now, I’m going to go back upstairs and cry softly into a couch cushion, as yet another section of shitter wall comes down…
I’ll see you guys on Monday.
A little music is about due…..I like Joe….good tune to crank up!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwU-ftZfc04
And for those who joined in the lively discussion in philosopy, I share this lovely melody. It;’s friday, lets have some fun.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U_Xdk4PujOE
@ DTO – Loved it, that was excellent.
I am among the donate what’s usable for organs or to science to scare high school and college kids about what NOT to do to your body. Then burn me up. I don’t really care what happens to my ashes. Wally will probably go first. We have no kids. I guess we will have to donate the money to science, too.
@WB in OH- You Can’t Always Get What You Want is the name of the song. Good song and so true!
@WB in OH,
You can always get a full sized keyboard and plug it in to your lap top. I’ve got one at work which I never use. You’re welcome to if you want.
@Trish-Thanks, I was looking for it on a lyrics web site but couldn’t find it.
@Tyrosine-My desk is to fucking cluttered for more electronics, especially just to make crazy looking German letters(?)/symbols. But I appreciate the offer none the less.
Man it sure is quiet around here today, either people are really busy or on vacation, with this crowd I’ll bet the latter!
Did someone say Eta Kooram Nah Smech, cause it is really quiet here today. Oh well, I got a bottle of 12 year old The Glenlivet and if you’re still standing there when that engine starts, you never will figure it out.
Check out the new “Further Evidence” link. Good Gawd Almighty!
@ Jason – You mean Good gawdy almighty? I never saw so many colors in one location since the last time I visted venice Beach back in the 80’s. That takes fanatic to a whole new level.
Colors? Is that what you noticed? What about the Bea Author’s beaver? Sweet Sassy Molassy.
I may have mentioned before, that stuff (nudity) don’t get to me like it did when I was a lot younger. I have a very deep respect for women now but as art, I thought it was interesting. Nothing really outright degrading except the Bea Author in Nazi latex. But, since I’m on the company “eh um” states dime. I didn’t want to mingle to long.
@Jason:
“Check out the new “Further Evidence” link. Good Gawd Almighty!”
Zee goggles! They do nothing!
@ Jason – Now the scene in “True Lies” where Jamie Lee Curtis dances for A’nold, that raised a knuckle. Just can’t seem to find that kind of talent and good conversation anymore.
Please tell me where to find the picture of the birds on a wire with one upside down. It was one of your bunker cams. I love that upside down bird!!
Here you go, Leo: http://thewvsr.com/troubleontheline.jpg
Also, Cronkite is dead.
I violated the bro code by sleeping with my best friends baby sister last night. Obviously, I can’t talk about this with anyone so I’m venting here. Regret? No. She is an amazing woman that I’ve had a crush on for years. However, the age difference and the distance mean that this was likely a one time thing. My head is spinning.
Well Kevindust…you now must give up your younger brother to him to make things square….I don’t make the rules.
was it Leo that called it on Walter Cronkite a week or so ago? shivers
LMAO @ DTO
@ Kevindust – It’s not really any of my business, but since you put it out there… If this is really something that you want to pursue, then age (as long as she’s legal) and distance are just obstacles to be overcome. Don’t let those circumstances decide for you. Of course, if she isn’t legal, then put as much distance between you as possible.
@ Kevindust – I just checked the Bro Codex and if she’s a hottie, you can make a move on your best friends baby sister granted she has reach the legal age of consent. You have earned bronze bro status. Bset friends unattached mother gets you gold status.
I’ve got diamonds on the soles of my shoes………
Oh no, here we go agian, you OK man? Now don’t mess with Glenlivet buzz. If I start singing Margaritaville, someone come and put me to bed.
@ WTB and SR, thanks for the support, she’s over 20 and a total hottie.
@ Jason…dance on the diamonds!!
@ Kevindust – Your in like Flint, eh for those of us who remember the American James Bond. Wait I’m still typing, need more scotch.
Kevin,
She’s old enough. Get in those guts!
Oh have we sunk to the lowest form of slutiest behavior. I’m almost about to turn on some parrot head music. The scotch is taking affect.
“Wasted away again in Margaritaville
Searchin’ for my lost shaker of salt.
Some people claim that there’s a woman to blame,
But I know, it’s my own damn fault.
Yes, and some people claim that there’s a woman to blame, And I know it’s my own damn fault “
Hey Shiny Rod, are you Scotch-Korean?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3kpyJI2JBo
Naw, it’s a different contradiction!
I don’t want the burial or the burn, I’d rather just be set out in the sun and let the bugs and birds eat me.
So I guess Angry White Guy got his deathwish regarding Cronkite. RIP Wally.
@ Gretchen – You must have seen my photo. No I wasn’t wearing my kilt but I am holding my Axxe. Gaelic yes, Scotch maybe. I’m definitely full of it now. Glenlivet that is. Enjoying one of the few pleasure that I can afford. My boat is getting some work done, starter went out and I need to get it tuned up.
@ dabigo – Thats what SkullyWV wants, maybe he’ll let you hold the rifle too.
I seem to recall that you have a nephew at Virginia Tech who is a star football player and whom you’re very proud of, so your hat gave you away. 🙂
Good luck with your boat.
@ Gretchen – He was MVP for the Orange Bowl. He worked hard for it and the whole family is proud of him. I’m next on the awards list since I became a member of Alpha Chi and The National Society of Collegiate Scholars by maintaining a 4.0 GPA since 2006. It sounds like I’m bragging a bit but I’m proud of my achievement. Most of the older siblings in my family look Korean though. We have those squinty eyes but my Grandfather was part Cherokee.
@Shiny Rod: My husband is half Japanese, half Italian. Not as entertaining as Scotch-Korean, but nearly as schizo. 😀 My best friend actually has a similar makeup to you. Buffet Genetics, gotta love it. 🙂
Congrats on your long stretch o’ 4.0s. I was only able to go two semesters with a 4.0 as an undergraduate, and that wasn’t in a row. And your field of study is a little more, er, strenuous than English major, aka the second most useless degree after Philosophy.
Man is it late. Or early. Goodnight commentators and lurkers. Until we meet again at a more reasonable hour.
Same here, the Glenlivet is in full bloom now and I’m ready to start singing Jimmy Buffet songs. P.S. – I love Philosophy but not as a major.
Night all….
@mountie9wv – If you don’t want the pine box, have you thought about donating your body to the body farm? (aka, the University of Tennessee Anthropological Research Facility)
White Trash Barbie – That would be fine with me to. So long as they recycle me when they are done.
On beer number 4, in case anyone was wondering.
Beer number 4? Damn. I’m sitting here eating a Chick-Fil-A sandwich. I’m going to get some beer.
I’m finishing up beer number 3. I picked up some Flying Dog while I was in Maine and the Snake Dog is excellent!
Beer number 4?!?….Obviously…you sleep in….
No beer, but I have some more Glenlivet to finish off.Enough for two more glasses I think. Anything that has me singing along with Jimmy Buffet has got to be good.
@ Tammie – The Flying Dog is gooood! I even have the Flying Screen Saver. Lowes Foods carries all the varieties here in Raleigh. I have even been able to pick up a case of Fullers London Pride.
I’ve never seen it near Charleston. In fact it’s telling me on the website that it’s only sold in WV near Martinsburg. I will be forced to pester them until they find someone to carry it near Charleston.
I’ve been drinking Rolling Rock recently. I know it’s not fancy, but it’s refreshing. Twenty or thirty Rolling Rocks and I feel very refreshed.
I just called my friend who manages the Lowes Foods and he said they have it in stock. YOu know how web sites are, tey don’t always stay up to date, either way heres the reps email. They say they have it available in 46 states. They also said: If you live in the middle of nowhere and step 1 or 2 didn’t help you, it sucks to be you and move somewhere they have Flying Dog.
stephanie.hinote@flyingdogales.com
@ Jason – I guess Rolling Rock is better that Buttwipers (Budwieser). Don’t know, never drank rolling rock or any malt liquors. Just the following before I switched to drinking the micro brews:
Mickey’s
Michelob
Millers
Bud
Heinekin
San Miugel
Tiger
Avery is my favorite then Flying Dog followed by Rogue. Thats my beer list.
Rolling Rock isn’t a malt liquor. It’s a premium beer from the glass lined tanks of old latrobe. There’s a saltyness or mineral water type thing about it that I like.