There’s an inordinate amount of chaos at Chez Kay this week. Chaos and aggravation. I wouldn’t expect much from this update if I were you, I really wouldn’t. But I’ll do what I can here…
The bathroom is sitting unfinished, and we haven’t seen the contractor since Sunday. Kinda concerning. Toney spoke with a person in their business office yesterday, and she promised the guy would be here by 10 am today. As I type this it’s 11:31, and we got nothing but crickets.
On Sunday he put some stuff (a technical term) on the floor, that he said must be allowed to “set” for 24 to 48 hours. So he wouldn’t be here on Monday, he told us. But he’d back at it on Tuesday, and planned to work 10 to 12 hours that day.
So I don’t know what the hell’s going on. It’s Wednesday, and we haven’t heard from him. I’m fixin’ to make a phone call, and can feel my inner-bastard asshole (basthole) coming into bloom.
Grrr…
Also, Toney and the older Secret are going out of town for a few days. He’ll be competing at a multi-day swim meet in another part of the state, so I’ll be holding down the fort here until Friday evening.
And that means I’ll be in charge of feeding the younger youngling, and getting him to his various camps and activities on time. I don’t know how Toney keeps track of it all; I’m going to need a freaking schematic over here.
But I’ve got the feeding part covered: Five Guys tonight, TGI Friday’s tomorrow. Done! Yes, I’m an old-hand at the feeding part.
Oh, wait. Andy’s going ass-over-tits upstairs. I’ll be right back… Yep, it’s the plumber. He gave me some convoluted story that might’ve included the words “Tobyhanna” and “miter saw,” but I wasn’t really listening. The important thing: he’s back on the job. All is forgiven; pass the beer nuts.
Surf Reporter Brian sent me this picture yesterday, presumably of a fellow-shopper at a store somewhere. Sexy!
And you’ve GOTTA check out this great post by Greg Miller, about West Virginia strip clubs. In fact, you should bookmark his site, and subscribe to the feed. ‘Cause the dude is right up our alley, as they say.
Finally, I was listening to George Noory last night, while driving home from the Demoralization Institute, and one of the callers said he believes Earth and the human race exists for the entertainment of aliens. They’re watching us, he believes, like a big reality program.
And that got me to thinking… If we are, in essence, players in a massive, never-ending sporting event, wonder if alien kids collect human trading cards? “I’ll trade you two Harry Ocheltrees for one Danny Rose…”
And if they do, what kinds of stats about us would they have on the backs of the cards? Number of beers consumed during entire “career?” Number of times he’s “romanced” himself? What do you think?
In fact, what kind of lifetime statistics would you like to see about yourself? If there’s some official scorekeeper in another galaxy, constantly crunching the numbers on us, what categories would you most be interested in seeing?
Use the comments link below, for your thoughts and ideas.
And I’ll see you guys tomorrow.
Now playing in the bunker.
Oh you two are strange. I think Brynhildr is getting her HWH replaced. I heard the plumbers laughing all the way to North Carolina.
WTB – So tell us about the festival, spare no details.
White Trash Barbie,
You’re a good sport. It’s damn near ten three oh where I’m at, and I can’t hang with the cool kids anymore. I mean really, I can’t. I’m not even 35 yet but I feel worn out. So I’m gonna hit the sack.
But hey, the great thing about Jeff Kay (sometimes) is that he makes a new post and we can forget all the nonsense from the night before.
Hey, did I tell yall that Charlie (my cousin from Texas) stopped by tonight? He was expected but he brought me some Flying Dog beer – which was unexpected – from wherever. Love him. Only thing is it’s tiny bottles. I’m not a fan. You have to drink like 20 of those to catch up to normal, or whatever. And the wheat thing? Fuck that. Nasty.
Me too… A liter of Tito’s and I’m ready to hit the sack.
Younglings, but I need to be up at 6:30 so chow for now.
Interesting that the further evidence link also contains a story about the guy from WV arrested for having sex with a dog. Coincidence? I think not.
@ Shiny Rod – Nine Words Women Use – simply excellent. Shoulda saved it for the new blog.
Who the hell is Joe? Whatever, Merry Birthday Joe.
75 is quite an accomplishment…
@ Taiwan On – Somethings need to be shared in an open forum but that would have worked too.
Vicki- Thanks for asking.
I’m currently getting my ass kicked in nursing school and it’s sucking the lift out of me.
I still check in every day, but I usually don’t have time or energy to comment.
I graduate in December and hopefully will be back to my old self by about mid-November.
Vicki- Thanks for asking.
I’m currently getting my ass kicked in nursing school and it’s sucking the life out of me.
I still check in every day, but I usually don’t have time or energy to comment.
I graduate in December and hopefully will be back to my old self by about mid-November.
“Yo Quiero Taco Bell” Gidget the Chihuahua will no longer be gracing the air waves with that familiar phrase. The 15 year old dog reportedly died of a stroke but family members are hinting that foul play may have been the cause of death. Gidget was frequently being seen by a Texas veterinarian who was prescibing her with pain medication. Texas officials are investigating the veterinarian. Mexican officials state that the whole country is in mouning over the loss of their beloved star. One officials stated, “This is much bigger than the loss of Ricadro Montalan. We are really going to miss her.” Family members are requesting she be layed to rest at Gidget’s Chihuahua Land Ranch in Beverly Hills. Ceasar Milan, noted dog whisperer, good friend and trainer of Gidget is excepted to offer the eulogy at her memorial service. Al Sharpton and members of PETA are also slated to speak.
Your Surf Reporter Shiny Rod reporting…
@ Jorge – Congratulations on your efforts so far. Its almost over. Hang in there, I won’t graduate until next June and then I am going for my Masters so two more years.
WTB – Good luck to you on weaning your dog from the poopsicles. We’ve barricaded the inside litter boxes so the big Jak can’t get to them anymore but she’ll scoop up any at all she can find outside. Before we figured out why there was rarely any cat shit in the litter boxes (we have two) she used to sleep next to them. We thought she just liked the area. Now we know she was waiting on deposits.
Movie theaters…yea the walking around is a pain but when people put thier dirty nasty stinking feet on your chair, yuk!! Not just on the back of the chair where they are constantly pushing on you, but when they take thier shoes off and put it on the side of the chair so the feet are right in your face.
What the hell is wrong with prople? And taking your shoes off in a public place that’s not a beach or pool? Seriously! Ever heard of diseases?
Yes I am from WV, and yes we do wear shoes, most of the time!
Sorry guys, posted comments on the wrong ass day…..must be the meds! Surgery today and I’m still “stoned”.
Jeff dont’ you dare say a word, I grew up with you, LOL!!
@ Vicki – LMAO!
Your welcome for the link to Nurse the Hate. Having read you for so long, I hoped I’d be correct in eyeing a nice addition to your web addiction. Thanks also for the bribe, it helps me feel like the public offical I’ve always longed to be.
Jeff – had you linked “Nurse The Hate” before? Because, I’ve been reading it for a couple months, now, and I found it through a link somewhere, but don’t remember where. Much like the WVSR, when I first read the linked article, I enjoyed it so much, I ended up going to the beginning, and reading everything, all the way to current. The only difference is, I found the Surf Report while searching Google for the orogin of the phrase “Rule of Thumb”, and you had only been writing the site for a couple years. And, the WVSR helped me realize how much I disliked my co-workers in the IT department at the time. I sent them all a link to the site, and none of them “got it.” Bunch of douchetards.
You’re right about Greg – his site is perfect for readers here. Different in many ways, but like you, and us, he seems to be in on the joke that is life.
Yeah Jeff, I linked to it once before. The guy is good, really good.