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April 2, 2014 By Jeff 24 Comments

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Filed Under: Daily

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Comments

  1. Swami Bologna says

    April 2, 2014 at 2:06 pm

    Beard-man is one handsome devil. And the ladies must love that “Southern Style” cap.

    Reply
    • Limey says

      April 2, 2014 at 3:05 pm

      I think he was “forced to eat his beard” because he’d eaten everything else in a 10 mile radius.

      Reply
  2. Miss Q says

    April 2, 2014 at 2:47 pm

    Being sentenced to Red Lobster is akin to cruel and unusual.

    Reply
  3. Billy Joel says

    April 2, 2014 at 3:02 pm

    at least he didn’t have to go to Olive Garden

    Reply
  4. Billy Joel says

    April 2, 2014 at 3:03 pm

    Pizza: I like it because it’s cheese.

    Reply
  5. madz1962 says

    April 2, 2014 at 3:07 pm

    I’m thinking it was a frozen, skinned for supper squirrel that made it a gruesome and violent act.

    Reply
  6. John Smith says

    April 2, 2014 at 3:58 pm

    And they’re vote counts exactly the same as mine. *sigh*

    Reply
    • John Smith says

      April 2, 2014 at 3:58 pm

      ummm… their

      Reply
  7. chill says

    April 2, 2014 at 10:11 pm

    Man forced to eat chihuahua. Film at 11.
    .

    Reply
  8. maineseadog says

    April 2, 2014 at 11:28 pm

    I did time at Red Lobster, but all I got was crabs.

    Reply
  9. Skully says

    April 3, 2014 at 5:59 am

    I lub me some Ret Lopsta!

    Reply
  10. Lucie in Tampa says

    April 3, 2014 at 10:49 am

    BEARD GUY LOOKS LIKE MOST OF MY CUSTOMERS… SIGH… MY JOB IS INTERESTING TO SAY THE LEAST.

    Reply
  11. Taiwan On says

    April 3, 2014 at 12:04 pm

    Today local hero Joseph Bray, a dedicated Red Lobster customer, was awarded the privilege to consume lobster-like meals in perpetuity when he prevented a nutjob female patron from stabbing a large bearded man with a squirrel. Sources indicate that the Red Lobster meals are actually fabricated from dangerous toys, but that did not deter Mr. Bray. Film at 11.

    Reply
  12. Miss Q says

    April 3, 2014 at 2:10 pm

    So you know I had to look these up, right?

    Pic #1: man was sentenced – by a judge – to buy flowers and a card for his wife and take her to dinner at Red Lobster after forgetting her birthday. The wife slapped a domestic violence charge on him after he shoved her on the couch when she confronted him over forgetting her birthday. Awesome sentence.

    Pic #2: It was a ceramic squirrel that she broke over his head then stabbed him with the remnants (!). He didn’t bring home beer on Christmas, so who can blame her?

    Pic #3: There really isn’t anything to say here. “Choke tube.” Heh.

    Pic #4: I quote “A Lawrenceburg man accused of cutting off another man’s beard and forcing him to eat it is scheduled to be sentenced Nov. 16 in Anderson Circuit Court.” It happened in Kentucky, so no one should be surprised.

    Reply
  13. johnthebasket says

    April 3, 2014 at 9:03 pm

    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 R H E
    Mariners 0 0 1 0 1 4 0 0 2 8 13 0
    Angels 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 2 2 3 1

    April 2, 2014

    Reply
    • johnthebasket says

      April 3, 2014 at 9:05 pm

      Sir…

      We have located your box scores. The Mariners are 3-0, at the beginning of a long, long season, but, nonetheless, 3-0.

      jtb

      Reply
    • chill says

      April 3, 2014 at 9:06 pm

      THERE are my damn box scores!
      .

      Reply
    • Miss Q says

      April 4, 2014 at 10:36 am

      Box scores!!!!!

      Reply
  14. johnthebasket says

    April 4, 2014 at 9:40 pm

    Wilcox County High School in Georgia is holding their FIRST racially integrated prom. I just knew that Brown v Board of Education decision would pay off.

    jtb

    Reply
    • johnthebasket says

      April 4, 2014 at 9:42 pm

      “Everything went off without a hitch,” Wilcox County schools Superintendent Steve Smith said this week.

      I guess he meant they didn’t have to use fire hoses on the Negroes.

      jtb

      Reply
    • Clueless says

      April 5, 2014 at 8:02 am

      It has only been 60 years; you can’t rush the South.

      Reply
    • WB in OH says

      April 5, 2014 at 10:34 am

      This would almost be funny if it weren’t so sad.

      Reply
  15. johnthebasket says

    April 5, 2014 at 2:08 pm

    I am pleased to announce that the new Trailer Park Boys movie, “Don’t Legalize It”, will open in theatres 4/18, because, in the words of the massive TPB publicity machine, “…you might be busy 420”.

    It’s possible that you’ll need to drive north to Canada to see it on that date, but that seems a pretty fucking small price to pay under the circumstances.

    jtb

    Reply
    • chill says

      April 5, 2014 at 3:31 pm

      At this point in life, I am more interested in poutine than pot. So sad.
      .

      Reply

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