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There’s Not a Hell Hot Enough

December 13, 2011 By Jeff 31 Comments

Hello, folks.  As many of you know, we’re having hacker trouble again.  Someone is getting into my files, and adding malicious code.  There’s a smart person working on it, and my hosting company is looking into it, as well.  The code has been removed about five times, and it keeps returning.  The last time it came back within fifteen minutes.

There’s not a hell hot enough for those hacking bastards…

I apologize if your computer was thrown into a state of crisis, as a result of visiting the Surf Report during the past 24 hours.  Please know that we’re trying to figure out what’s going on.  And why it keeps happening.  Usually they get in through questionable WordPress plug-ins or themes, but I’ve got all that stripped down to the bone.  And the plug-ins I use are common and installed on websites all over the world, so I don’t think that’s the issue this time.

If the last thing we tried doesn’t work (so far so good!), we’re going to have to do some drastic shit.  And if that happens, the site will probably be down for an hour or two.  But there’s no reason to be alarmed, I’m told.  Of course I’ll be crapping myself, but that doesn’t mean you should also be concerned.  The site will return, eventually.  And hopefully it will look the same, and function correctly.  Yowza.

I’ve got my fingers crossed, and maybe we won’t have to resort to the nuclear option?  We’ll see how it goes.  I apologize for all this nonsense.  This kind of stuff makes me crazy, and it’s even worse when I know some of you were affected.  So, I’m very sorry.

I’ll be back as soon as possible.

See ya then.  -Jeff

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Filed Under: Daily

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Henderson says

    December 13, 2011 at 2:47 pm

    Good Luck!

    Reply
  2. sunshine_in_va says

    December 13, 2011 at 2:51 pm

    Call Nedry. See if he’s at the food machines.

    Reply
  3. Greg says

    December 13, 2011 at 2:51 pm

    Don’t worry. We’ll be here.

    Reply
  4. eeyoresmama says

    December 13, 2011 at 2:52 pm

    My AVG just blocked it.

    Reply
  5. Jeff says

    December 13, 2011 at 2:57 pm

    Yeah, the bad code just returned. I guess we’re going to have to drop an atom bomb on this bastard. Good thing I’ll be at work, and mildly preoccupied. This is gonna be stressful…

    Reply
  6. WB in OH says

    December 13, 2011 at 3:00 pm

    Bummer, why does someone feel the need to be such a dickhead?

    ??????, ?????? ???-?? ????????? ????????????? ???? ????? dickhead?

    Reply
  7. bikerchick says

    December 13, 2011 at 3:05 pm

    These assholes are pissing me off. I need my daily fix, maaan.

    Reply
  8. JCIII says

    December 13, 2011 at 3:16 pm

    Good Afternoon Surf Reporters…..

    came here through Twitter and Norton blocked a ‘malicious file download’ attempt.

    Reply
  9. madz1962 says

    December 13, 2011 at 3:16 pm

    ‘s any consolation, Jeff, I am imagining this hacker dry-humping a porcupine while flogging himself with a rubber hose on the crosstown bus.

    Seriously, why the hacking? Get a woman and quit jacking off to nerdy shit.

    Reply
  10. Sluggy says

    December 13, 2011 at 3:51 pm

    At 2:51 it’s still there….I came directly here and my AVG caught it.
    scum suckers……

    Reply
  11. Jason says

    December 13, 2011 at 5:00 pm

    I had to call in the big guns to fix my work computer this morning. Some virus that looked like a legit virus scanner was on my computer. I couldn’t do anything. As soon as I started my computer it would pop up and use up all of my “virtual memory”.

    Fuck Russians!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply
  12. putski says

    December 13, 2011 at 5:08 pm

    You must have done something right. I’m not getting the anti virus popups any more.

    Reply
  13. johnthebasket says

    December 13, 2011 at 5:08 pm

    Based on the announcement from CERN this morning, the EuroGeeks are closing in on the Higgs boson. Is there any way you can check your production server for a stray Higgs field or Higgs particle? That could be the problem. I understand the particle is green. Just sayin’.

    jtb

    Reply
    • chill says

      December 13, 2011 at 11:46 pm

      Wasn’t the Higgs Boson hunted to extinction in the 19th century? Or was that the European Boson? I could be wrong.
      .

      Reply
      • cashoe says

        December 14, 2011 at 12:19 am

        No, you’re clearly thinking of the infamous American Passenger Boson.

        Reply
  14. Bill in WV says

    December 13, 2011 at 5:32 pm

    No problems whatsoever, here on my Commodore 64.

    Reply
  15. CitizenX says

    December 13, 2011 at 6:15 pm

    I was on a Mac when I got the warning and I almost clicked through just to be ballzy, but I was using chrome and decided I did not want to risk a browser infection. Those are the worst really.

    Reply
  16. Tipsey McChugney says

    December 13, 2011 at 6:29 pm

    that smoking fish looks a little like Satan.

    Reply
  17. kristin says

    December 13, 2011 at 6:42 pm

    4:41 CST and it seems to be OK.

    Reply
  18. kristin says

    December 13, 2011 at 6:46 pm

    That toilet has one serious flaw that I didn’t see pointed out in the article – power outages.

    We’ve got the automatic flushers and sinks here at work, and when the power goes out they’re not covered by the generators. It ain’t pretty.

    Reply
  19. t-storm says

    December 13, 2011 at 6:51 pm

    So I;m stupid here. What would be the purpose of someone doing this?

    Reply
    • chill says

      December 13, 2011 at 7:49 pm

      Some people do shitty things just because they’re cockbiters, not for any benefit to them. Pure douchebaggery. Then again, owned Windows boxes send most of the world’s spam – or so I hear.
      .

      Reply
  20. Knucklehead says

    December 14, 2011 at 3:35 am

    The virus must not have a passport – I haven’t had any problems here.

    Reply
  21. bikerchick says

    December 14, 2011 at 9:39 am

    This is off the subject…but hilarious! Check it out….

    http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/45643760/

    Reply
    • madz1962 says

      December 14, 2011 at 9:49 am

      You owe me a coffee. And a screen shammy! (cleaning off screen). Thanks!

      Reply
      • bikerchick says

        December 14, 2011 at 10:43 am

        Gladly! I’ll send you a Starbucks gift card! I particularly like the first one with the monkey in the dress. Wow!

        Oh…and I find the sleeve of my shirt works just as well as a shammy! You’re welcome.

        Reply
  22. icecycle66 says

    December 14, 2011 at 10:01 am

    We shuld be able to send some sort of lazer through the internet and blind malicious code writers.

    Reply
  23. DeepInTheHeart says

    December 14, 2011 at 11:14 am

    Norton blocked the attack several times for me yesterday when trying to access the site from my email. It finally stopped late afternoon.

    If these damn hackers would put as much energy into doing something productive with their pathetic little lives, they could probably do something amazing like cure cancer. Or solve world hunger. Or design CD wrapping that’s easier to remove. Just sayin’.

    Reply
  24. Cosgrove says

    December 14, 2011 at 11:50 am

    Well Jeff, I’m finally ready to do my Amazon Christmas shopping, come to thewvsr, and discover that of the two updates on the main page, NEITHER of them have an amazon link… Luckily, I’m willing to head all the way down to the bottom of the page and laboriously drag my mouse over to “Next page.” A lotta work you’re making us surf report faithful do.

    Reply
    • DeepInTheHeart says

      December 14, 2011 at 12:24 pm

      I had to do the exact same thing this morning. Now I’m exhausted!

      Reply
  25. Aqua says

    December 15, 2011 at 6:44 am

    I got the internet herpes not only from this site, but another blog I frequent, this one on cooking of all things, talk about unrelated. However, if you need to stop the thing that looks like a virus scanner and is not, open the command line and type “taskkill.exe/F/IM/Privacy.exe” that should stop it. You might have to execute that line a few times but eventually it gives up. Then Malwarebytes does a nice job of cleaning it up.

    This is all if it manages to sneak past your virus protection (use AVG)….

    Hope that helps for any future website herpes.
    ~Aqua

    Reply

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