It’s as humid as a New Orleans butt crack up here today. Oh, how I hate it. It’s still not hot, but there’s a general yuck in the air, which hints at the terribleness to come.
Yeah, it won’t be long before we have to lug the Soviet humbox window units up from the basement, and fill the house with a continuous roaring noise:
“Could you pass me the salt?”
“What?”
“The salt! Pass the salt!!”
“Oh, I don’t know. Five or six.”
“Who?”
“Tomorrow, dammit! Tomorrow!!”
Not a fan of summer… Pass the Gold Bond medicated crotch blower.
Apparently I’ll be going to an ultra-rare rock show next week. I’m not the most spontaneous person at this point in my life (it takes too much energy), but Steve and I decided yesterday, all willy-nilly.
He called while I was driving to work, and I mentioned that the New York Dolls were going to be at the Trocadero, in Philadelphia, soon. “Wanna go?” he said. “Yeah, I do!” I answered.
So, we checked our schedules (got the go-ahead from our wives) and ordered tickets. We bought them around six o’clock, and by the time I got home from work last night it was showing SOLD OUT. Did we get the last two? Excellent.
I don’t have the new Dolls album yet, but the previous one is great. And, of course, their stuff from the ’70s is iconic. Should be a fun show. Even though three of the original members are long-dead, including Johnny Thunders. But let’s try not to focus on the negative…
If the Eels tour this summer, which will probably happen, it’s very likely I’ll attend TWO shows in a single calendar year. Pretty good, huh? Who says I’m a pathetic old burn-out?
Hello? …Hello?
Speaking of phone conversations while driving, I spoke with Metten on Sunday while careening down Interstate 81. We’d never actually talked before, we’d only communicated through email and text messages. It was kinda surreal.
He said I sounded different than he thought I would. Maybe it’s because I was using my “sassy black woman” voice? I don’t know… Next time I’ll hit him with my “enthusiastic Chinese business-owner,” and maybe that’ll work better?
We were discussing who should write Monday’s post at Mockable. I volunteered, and cranked out this little morsel of ridiculousness in about thirty minutes. Funny thing, though. It’s one of my favorites so far.
A guy at my job reportedly won $100,000 with a scratch-off lottery ticket yesterday morning. Supposedly he showed up for work last night, and told his boss he wouldn’t be returning.
I’m not sure that’s the wisest move on his part. But what do I care?
And I need to stop right here. I’m all outta time. I don’t really have a formal Question today…
How about the last concert/show you attended? Any good? Also, have you ever met someone you’ve only known through email, or over the phone at work, and had them pictured completely wrong? Tell us about it. And finally, the lottery dilemma… Would you quit your job for $100,000 of found-money?
I’ll see you guys tomorrow.
First, babies!
I would have to win a hell of a lot more than $100,000 to just up and quit my job. And ya’ll know I hate this damn place!
Last concert was Nine Inch Nails and Jane’s Addiction, just a few weeks back. I have seen both so many times that it was just like a replay of the previous shows. They did all the hits and the new stuff, but I figured it may be the last time I see either of them, so I enjoyed it.
In Boone, I spoke with another law office to a paralegal that sounded like she was young, blonde and stacked. I had to drive to their office and research files with her in Tennessee and she was young, had the brown redneck frizzy self perm and weighed nearly 400 pounds.
I would quit my job for $10,000 right now.
Did you know- a snail can sleep for three years?
On IPOD right now- “Sky Pilot” by the Animals.
I had to put the AC in the window in April this year. I never cared for the NY Dolls. How many of them are left?
It’s so hot and muggy here, it feel like somebody smeared Kentucky Jelly all over me.
last concert – Wayne Newton in Vegas. Laughed harder than I had in years. Old ladies gone wild. Wayne was kissing them all and spreading disease amongst those with weakened immune systems.
2nd to last – Elton John in Vegas. set design was very phallic w/ overt sexual overtones. The clients loved that one. My boss, sitting next to me, just squirmed the whole time.
I once thought someone I had communicated with via email was a woman. Turns out it was a man. Just goes to show you that you shouldn’t name your child anything androgynous. I giggled uncontrollably when I finally met him in person and had to confess my mistake.
After taxes, $100 grand is hardly worth quitting for. Keep the job and invest the money for retirement because Uncle Sam ain’t gonna be able to help when you come of age — if you actually hit that ever-moving target.
I talk to people on the phone all the time and I always paint a picture in my head of what they look like. When I meet them I’m often pissed off. They’re smiling and shaking my hand but I’m thinking to myself, “Fuck you. You’re supposed to have a long white beard and a bow tie. And look at you! You’re a redhead with huge tits.” It’s a big disappointment. I never get the picture right. They NEVER look like I think they should.
Ognir – just two NY dolls left now:
1) David Johanson (sp?)
2) Sylvain Mizrahi
I’m still a little pissed at the Dolls. I bought tickets for their show here in SLC a couple of weeks ago, but they cancelled due to lack of interest (sold <100 tix). Also: Maybe they think that the Mormons had something to do with Arthur ‘Killer’ Kane’s death(?)
Oops, forgot to mention… the man who I thought was a woman… that was work-related, not online dating.
100,000? Only if I was debt free, I was about to die in 3 years, and I lived someplace where a US dollar would get you a steak dinner, a hooker, and someone to wipe my ass.
That is only 50,000 after taxes….
It takes two people to call themselves the Rolling Stones — Mick Jagger and Keith Richards. Without one of those two, it ain’t the Rolling Stones.
It takes two people to call themselves Led Zeppelin — Robert Plant and Jimmy Page. Without one of those two, it ain’t Led Zeppelin.
And it takes two people to call themselves the New York Dolls — David Johansen and Johnny Thunders. Without Mr. Thunders, it’s just a David Johansen solo show, with a guy on rhythm guitar who also used to be in Johansen’s old band.
I don’t care how good the two post-Thunders “New York Dolls” albums are, they never should’ve been released under the name of that legendary band.
Last show Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons..
Before that Clapton last summer great concert !
A colleague whom I had only spoken to on the phone thought I was Black, not the pasty white that I am. When I asked her what gave her that idea, she admitted that she’d made the assumption based on conversations we had had about one of my friends, a Black woman whom she’d already met.
The fact that this came from and Irish Jew made the whole thing even more humorous.
Leonard Cohen in Philly last month. Very good.
$100K is far from fuck-you money. What a twit. I bet he buys an Escalade or similar.
Swami, I’m cool with a David Johanson solo show, for twenty bucks. Sign me up!
Last Show was The Tubes a couple months ago.
$100,000 and quit my job?? No chance in hell.
The cheeseburger was really good!
I take issue with your New Orleans butt crack comment. It’s actually quite nice down here right now. Now last week…
Last show: Widespread Panic @ Orange Beach, AL. Great shows. May go to Bonarroo on Sunday.
We had a gathering of several of us from a (different) messageboard a few weeks ago. That was pretty weird, but fun.
$100K? Not even close enough to quit the job. I’d have a nice vacation though.
Last concert – Ritchie Valens.
Last concert I was was America. Just as good now as they were back in the 70’s. 100K wouldn’t even convince me to take a day off. Maybe if it were yuans or pounds, I would take half a day!
Good Afternoon Surf Reporters……
Sorry I missed the update and festivities yesterday. I too have a Never Again restaurant experience, but now it seems too late and well, too late.
Last concert was 2 summers ago. I won’t mention the main act name for fear of castigation, but I’ll give you a clue: 90% of the males are frat boy douche types with hemp necklaces and wearing their hats backwards.
The girls are all profusely drunk and screaming “Watchtower!!”
The opening act was G Love and Special Sauce – they were meh, ok I guess.
And no, 100 K is no way near enough to quit a job. Once the ether wears off, he’ll be questioning exactly what it was he did.
Also saw the Little River Band (3 original members left) for free at Busch Gardens a couple of months ago, but I don’t count that one. About 100 people per show (3 shows) showed up. Some bands don’t know when to give it up.
Did you know- “abstemious” and “facetious” are the only two words in English that use all five vowels in order?
IPOD right now- “Bela Lugosi’s Dead” by Bauhaus
Jeff, if you don’t like humidity, you can always come back to California and partake in some summer water rationing and a massive wildfire or two.
Fuck no. 100k would barely cover my current debt load. My better half won’t even bother to make the trip down to the corner Swami Swifti on Tuesdays if the Mega Millions is not more than 50 million.
Last concert, Tom Petty-memorable.
$100,000 to quit my job? Uhhhh no. What an idiot.
Okay, I am going into character now….trying to imagine that I am the dude who quit his job for the lottery money.
Here’s my line:
“I quit my job for a $100,000 chocolate bar and a date with Stevie Nicks. She’s gonna have to spring for the chocolate, cuz I’m broke”
Last small concert- Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
Last big concert -The White Stripes
Quit for 100 K? not a chance, but I’d pay off my house.
1 million? Getting close….even 5% return = 50,000….
10 million? For sure.
But then, I never buy lottery tickets in the first place, so my chances are slightly lower than others.
last concert i went to was in 2006. i saw the decemberists. with my ridiculous job/school crap i don’t get to go out much anymore. it’s killing me. slowly.
i’d absolutly quit my deadend job for 100k. i think i could start up a business with that. and since i have no kids and own my own place…
at my current job there’s a woman who sounds so nice and sweet and cute (like grandma cute). in real life? she’s one of the reasons i wanna quit my job.
The last time I saw a photo of David Johanson, he looked like a skeleton with some skin on it. I hope you have a good show. I have not been to a show in a couple of years now. The last one was Ryan Adams.
In April, I went to three concerts:
1. Paul McCartney in Las Vegas
2. The Coachella Festival in Palm Springs (featuring Morrissey, Franz Ferdinand, and Paul McCartney)
3. and the David Lynch’s Concert for Change in New York (featuring, McCartney, Ringo Starr, Donovan, and Eddie Vedder — among others)
I’ve met a few people in person after getting to know them on the internet. Some aren’t surprised in the least and some are shocked to find that I’m really quite quiet.
I think it depends on whether I’ve had my medication or not on that particular day.
Quit my job for 100K? Nope no way, that would just barely pay me and Brynhildr’s tour of Germany sampling exotic sausages and beer. It would put a sizable dent in my college loans though.
@ Tammie – That’s because you have a vent for your wild side. I vented once but it left a trail of broken hearts from San Diego to Perth, Australia.
100k is nothing. That guy is an idiot.
Last concert I went to was Rush, Faith Band and the Babys. If that tells ya how long it’s been since I saw a good concert.
@ Jeff – How did you get that picture of me? You should have told me I was going to be a Bunker Cam subject.
Not a concert goer. I tend to mistake most song lyrics. I also tend to mix versus up.
100G’s is not what it use to be. But maybe they had a more exicting job lined up prior to striking gold with the PA Lottery.
Was the winner related to Nick Perry?
Shiny Rod – be careful of what you say. I intend to hold you to it.
Nick Perry – 666 reference for those interested
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1980_Pennsylvania_Lottery_scandal
Hmm after taxes 100k would probably be less than a years salary, what quit your job for a year? I don’t think so. I would buy a new car though to drive me to work!
Last show was the Red Hot Chili Peppers a couple of years ago. If things work out I’ll catch a few shows this summer, but who knows….FYI: The Specials have reunited and are touring in November (http://www.nme.com/news/the-specials/45181). There are no North American dates yet, but hope springs eternal.
Quit my job after winning $100K? Smart move. If I recall lottery winnings are taxed 50% in the U.S., so this future organ donor is only going to net 50 grand, which is about one year’s salary. I’d keep the job and either invest the money, pay off any high interest debt, or buy some property while the market is low.
@retrollama: Morrissey, Franz Ferdinand, and Paul McCartney. *blink blink* One of these things is not like the other.
I was never allowed to go to concerts. By the time I was able to make that decision for myself I was no longer particularly interested. I’m not a fan of loud, enclosed spaces, such as the Troc. I did try out a couple disappointing lollafauxloozer knockoffs in the 90s, the salient memory from one of them being not the music but a hapless young man dressed like a banana whom the audience physically abused for the better part of the concert. At one point they grabbed him and a blanket and repeatedly threw him in the air until he was crying. I guess that’s what you get when you leave your Fruit of the Loom buddies behind to fold the tighty-whities.
$100,000 is no where near enough to quit. I wouldn’t quit for a million. 5 or ten million, maybe. That $100,000 is only about $60,000 or less after taxes so for this guy it might be 2, 2.5 yrs of salary. But he’ll probably blow a good portion of it in the meantime.
5 million after taxes I could quit.
Oh, I did get the privilege to attend a special performance concert of Paul Young in DC when he was still touring. I met him and the band a pub and we drank beer and talked about music until a few groupies came in and recognized him and he had to make a hasty exit to the hotel to shake them off.
OMG! Paul Young… fond memories. Sirius doesn’t play nearly enough of his music.
@ Brynhildr – This is scary. We like the same type of foods, the same type of music, what next!!!
I don’t have a job.
last concert was lawrence welk
ABB & Gov’t Mule. Oh yeah…
Someone needs to by Teddy Pendergrass a samlich. He don’t look so good. If you get a chance check out the movie “New York Doll”. You might like it.
Shiny Rod, we can’t continue like this or everyone will start losing their lunch again.
It’s been so long that I don’t remember the last concert I went to…I’m sure it was something gay though.
I do have tickets to see Depeche Mode in August. They’re a habit I just can’t quit.
I’d never quit my job for $100k.
Quit for $100K? he’s insane, $100K doesn’t get me thru November from here.
Last Concert – Richard Cheese and Lounge against the Machine