I’m about to rip the mouse out of the back of my computer tower, strip naked to the waist, twirl it high above my head and fling the son of a bitch off the nearest high cliff. Grrrr…
I don’t know what’s going on with it. In the old days, when mice had balls, the little gears and things inside would get gunked up. And that was easy to recognize and fix. But in this new ballless era, I don’t know what the hell’s happening.
The thing is misfiring and going off-script on a regular basis. I can’t highlight text anymore, and drop-down menus won’t stay dropped-down. And when I check a box, the check disappears the second I move the cursor away.
My mouse is no longer a reliable ally.
Yeah, I know. Just buy a new one, right? I should’ve done that over the weekend… They’re only fifteen bucks or so. But I didn’t, and probably won’t have another chance until Thursday. So, until then, I’m just going to bitch about it. It’s my right as an American!
And I assume it’s the mouse that’s the problem? What do you think? Is there something else that might be causing such infuriating events to occur? I’m losing it, maaan.
Speaking of the weekend, ours was a thing of beauty here in the Upper Perogie Belt. Saturday, especially, was about as perfect as perfect ever gets. It was roughly seventy degrees, completely bugless, low humidity, clear blue skies… Oh, man.
Under the circumstances meat would have to be cooked out of doors; it’s practically required by law. And I remembered we ran out of propane during our final cookout last fall. So I grabbed the bottle and took off.
I usually go all the way to Scranton, to a U-Haul there, to buy propane. There’s no place in our little town that sells the stuff, so I have to take a road trip every time. But Toney told me there’s a “hardware store” that’s slightly closer, and gave me directions.
Yeah, and it sounded simple, but I was promptly lost. Next thing I know there are cows and horses and possibly a zebra near my car. It’s just farmland in every direction, and I think I might’ve passed through some sort of portal back to 1895.
I continued driving through the nineteenth century, and finally got to a place I recognized. Then I went to the U-Haul in Scranton, and turned a ten mile trek into thirty miles. Hell yeah!
It cost $18.00 to fill the tank, and when we moved here the price was $7.50 for the exact same thing. And so it goes.
Then we went to the state park, and enjoyed the incredible weather. Here are some pics I snapped. There’s nothing funny about them, but it might give you an idea of the beautiful day we had: the first day of spring.
Later, we cooked (incredible!) burgers on the grill, had a few Saranac Red Ales, hung out on the deck for a while, took Andy for a long walk, and watched The Hangover from Netflix.
It was one of the best days of the recent past. The kind of day that’ll make many future weekend days seem disappointing in comparison. The bar has been set mighty high, my friends.
Yesterday I downloaded the Them Crooked Vultures album from Amazon, for $2.99. I haven’t had a chance to spend much time with it. Will I like it? What do you think of it?
And speaking of music, my spiritual adviser, Paul Westerberg, had a nice piece published in the New York Times, remembering his “mentor” Alex Chilton, who passed away a few days ago.
Paul, of course, wrote a song called “Alex Chilton” which he references at the end of the article.
I was lucky enough to see Chilton play live in Atlanta years ago, at a tiny club called The Point. He was great when he was performing his songs, but was grouchy and disagreeable the rest of the time. I understand that wasn’t exactly unusual behavior on his part.
But anyway… RIP Alex Chilton. Thanks for the three Big Star masterpieces. People will be obsessing over those records for the remainder of human existence. Pass the beer nuts.
And before I call it a day here, I want to share a voicemail message that was reportedly left on Dorothy’s daughter’s answering machine, in Arkansas. Oh, you’ve gotta hear it; it’s fantastic! Here’s your link.
Please help me out on Twitter and Facebook and Stumbleupon. People need to hear that audio clip. And thanks Dorothy, for sending it to me!
Question of the Day: Did you do anything interesting this weekend? What did you get into? Was the weather as perfect where you are, as it was here? Use the comments to bring us up to date.
And I’ll see you guys again tomorrow.
Have a great day!
re:propane
You think filling the tank for the grill is bad try heating your home with the shit. Costs over grand to fill the tank and that needs to be done about twice a year for my modest little domicile.
I’m installing an outside wood boiler this summer. The propane company can go fuck itself with the big white tank in my back yard.
As for my weekend it was uneventful. It snowed and made sloppy roads even more sloppy. Spent today trying to smooth out the lane to my house which has all the stability of jello at the moment. Poor fed ex girl is making me drive all the way out to the blacktop to pick up shit.
snowed in the OKC. But I had my bracket to keep me warm. Saw many cars facing the wrong way on the highway. Went to IHOP, helped a guy out of a ditch.
Sunday called mom (1st sunday since we buried her mom), got drunk at tapwerks, then jj’s, then hudsons. Bought $100 in groceries while drunk and starving.
today laid on my new couch and watched shitty tv.
Tomorrow I’m flying to St. Louis to see Two Cow Garage. Good times.
My hometown burned today something fierce.
Brynhildr,
I didn’t hear anybody making fun of your mouse solution, and you’re right about the landfills.
Jeff,
RE: the mouse…1) install new batteries, 2) check physical & wireless connection points, 3) download and install correct driver, 4) check for interference points (AC wire on mouse connection, large lead items on desk, etc.), 5) borrow somebody else’s mouse.
You might want to restart the computer after each change. XP or Vista (or Mac OS) should find the mouse without rebooting, but they don’t always.
If all these fail, you probably have a problem with the mouse processor on a board in your computer. Off to the computer hospital. If a friend comes over to help and starts to remove the back panel without a grounding strap, hand him a beer and get thee to the computer hospital.
Just summarizing the other reporters’ advice.
jtb
@Juancho-
Hey, don’t feel bad! I lost the “Further Evidence” icon too. It disappeared after I got a new computer running Windows 7. Anyone know how to get the icon back?
Propane…horribly expensive. Had to heat a house for about 15 years with that stuff (but it was better than the old fuel oil tank it replaced…cheap, but nasty, stuff). Oh yeah, and don’t let your propane tank run out. The delivery company won’t refill it until you get a furnace contractor to come out and guarantee you don’t have any leaks.
Carol,
Post hoc ergo propter hoc. Must be a Windows 7 problem. Try running your mouse pointer over the blank spot 15 or 20 times and see what appears.
Juancho,
Did the weird dream you had last night involve disappearing icons? Did it involve health care reform? Funny, I had a dream too….
I dreamed I saw Joe Hill last night,
Alive as you or me
Says I, “But Joe, you’re ten years dead,”
“I never died,” says he
“I never died,” says he
“In Salt Lake, Joe,” says I to him,
Him standing by my bed,
“They framed you on a murder charge,”
Says Joe, “But I ain’t dead,”
Says Joe, “But I ain’t dead.”
“The copper bosses killed you, Joe,
They shot you, Joe,” says I.
“Takes more than guns to kill a man,”
Says Joe, “I didn’t die,”
Says Joe, “I didn’t die.”
And standing there as big as life
And smiling with his eyes
Joe says, “What they forgot to kill
Went on to organize,
Went on to organize.”
“Joe Hill ain’t dead,” he says to me,
“Joe Hill ain’t never died.
Where working men are out on strike
Joe Hill is at their side,
Joe Hill is at their side.”
“From San Diego up to Maine,
In every mine and mill,
Where workers strike and organize,”
Says he, “You’ll find Joe Hill,”
Says he, “You’ll find Joe Hill.”
I dreamed I saw Joe Hill last night,
Alive as you or me
Says I, “But Joe, you’re ten years dead,”
“I never died,” says he
“I never died,” says he
.
Maybe your dream was different. Hope it was as tuneful.
all the best…jtb
bikerchick – I can’t remember what time I was there. Next time, keep an eye out for your standard-issue guitar player scumbag type: long hair, skinny, prison-quality tattoos, drink permanently in hand. Yeah, that probably doesn’t narrow it down too much…
You would have recognized me…big boobs, butt,. . .
Not bad.
I sat around in my robe and listened to Night Ranger.
As best as I can tell, the icon doesn’t show up in Internet Explorer for some reason. I see it in Firefox, but when I switch to IE it’s gone. I’m planning to have some work done on the sidebar soon, and will have the problem fixed then. Sorry about that. I have no idea what happened.
And the mouse isn’t wireless. I don’t understand the wireless mouse. Why is that necessary? I’m sitting right here! Anyway, it’s just the standard Dell mouse that came with this computer. It’s probably a couple years old by now.
Rat Bastard: Well..you sound like half the group I hang out with. But I will keep an eye out tho. I have several tats as well but the large turqoise butterfly on across my upper shoulders/back is the most recognizable. Prolly passed you several times in the past.
Ognir: I LOVE Night Ranger!
Yes, but you are no Sister Christian.
(My line was stolen from a scene in Boogie Nights.)
I have a laser mouse.
Ognir: No I ain’t!
I have a tractor beam, if anyone needs to borrow one.
Them Crooked Vultures are awesome! I think you can hear the influence of Queens of the Stone Age, Led Zeppelin and Foo Fighters. Dave Grohl is incredible on the drums…
My favorite song off the album is Spinning in Daffodils
Scumbag Blues kind of reminds me of Cream.
I like the whole album.
I work at a U-Haul to pay my way through college, and I would just like to as all of you to be a little patient with the people there. Propane is the most hated task of U-Haul employees. It has nothing to do with moving, and was added as a corporate gimmick to increase profit. We don’t mind doing it when its slow, but if there are four or five other customers, things get hectic, so please be patient. And if you see your U-Haul carrying a device that looks like a giant calculator around, ask them about it. It’s called a “Uscan” and was undoubtedly the last invention of Hitler before his death. It operates on Windows mobile, and is slightly less reliable than the Pinto was.
Jeff…the mouse is probably hosed. Just get a new one. You don’t need any software for it…Windows will pick it up.
Ivan: I bought some moving boxes from U-Haul over the weekend, and the guy at the counter used one of those Pinto Uscan things to ring up my purchase, and it seemed to take forever. The curious thing was that he rang me up at the counter, right next to a good-ol’-fashioned cash register, but used the Uscan instead. I was just buying ten boxes, but it seemed like he needed to punch about 200 buttons on that Uscan to process the transaction.
Jeff,
Please add the recording of LBJ ordering pants on the ‘maters and box score MP3 page. In the meantime, does anyone have the link? I tried searching, but I’m pretty sure it’s in the old site’s archives (and, well, I can’t find it.) Thanks.
I think they still use a program from the 1980s on Dollar Store cash registers.
We can all sleep easy at night knowing that somewhere at any given time, the Foo Fighters are out there fighting Foo.
-David Letterman
jtb — since there is no possible way that an outdated mouse driver could cause an icon to disappear, it sounded to me like you were mocking my suggestion that it was out of date. Icons disappear when either Java, the browser, or the operating system needs an update, not because of a mouse. See also Chuck’s comment prior to my earlier post.
@jtb-
OK, I had to look that one up (Post hoc ergo propter hoc). Nope, don’t think so. Was previously running XP with IE8 and had no problem seeing the Further Evidence icon. Changed to Windows 7, still running IE8 and now no icon.
@eve-
LBJ ordering pants: http://www.whitehousetapes.net/clips/1964_0809_lbj_haggar/