You see, I’m always tired and grouchy and beating myself up for not getting enough done. And our yard is starting to look like an establishing shot on Malcolm in the Middle. Generally speaking, there’s a dark cloud hanging over the Surf Report Compound this summer.
So, I’m going to give up beer for the month of July, and see if it changes anything. I’m also going to try to eat a little better, and get some more exercise and sleep. Nothing too drastic on those last few items, mind you, just a casual effort in that direction.
It’s an experiment, and I’ll take a look at the situation on August 1. If I’m firing on all cylinders, and feeling optimistic and strong, I’ll extend it another month. But if everything’s exactly the same: “Hello, Dogfish Head Brewing Company! I’ve missed you.”
I expect the upcoming weekend to be a slam-dunk, because of the novelty of not partaking of adult beverages on Fridays and Saturdays. How strange and exotic…
By week two, however, it’ll be a challenge. After a ball-mashing week at work the downstairs fridge will be singing sweet lullabies, and it’ll take a lot of strength not to surrender to its call.
But we’ll see how it goes. Stay tuned.
The weather certainly hasn’t helped make this summer any better; it’s been as humid as Rosie O’Donnell’s crotch panel. And I can’t have that.
I understand that the reason autumn (fall) is so spectacular, is partly because it serves as sweet relief after the devil season. Fall probably wouldn’t be quite as fantastic if it didn’t follow all the summer nonsense. But I think I’d be willing to accept a little less autumn oomph in exchange for a more tolerable June through September. Ya know?
Anyway, it ain’t happening. 2010 has been a letdown so far. I’d rate the first half a C minus. Yeah, I know. We’re all healthy (as far as I know), we have a roof over our heads, we’re employed, etc. etc. And in some countries that would put us in the very upperest of the upper crust… blah, blah, blah.
I understand these things, but I’m talking about satisfaction. And as my spiritual adviser Paul Westerberg sometimes says, “Look me in the eyes and tell me, am I satisfied? …I’m unsatisfied.”
I’m reading a really good book, called The War of Art. It talks about how we all encounter resistance from the inside (mostly), as well as the outside. Resistance is the little voices (literal or otherwise) that constantly remind us of the many reasons we shouldn’t take a risk, or pursue a dream.
You know… You’ll embarrass yourself, you’re too old, you’re too young, you’re not smart enough, you don’t have the right connections, you should be devoting your free time to your family, hey Mythbusters just came on!… That sort of thing.
And I know this to be true; resistance thrives inside me. I’ve done a halfway decent job of fighting it off, I think (especially since getting shit-out by Warner Bros.), but need to crank it up another notch. I don’t want to get into too many details (I don’t know who’s reading), but I’m quickly reaching a point where important decisions are going to have to be made.
One path would make me incredibly happy and fulfilled, and the other would pay the bills a little better, but require me to pull back on all this writing stuff. And probably cause me to cry myself to sleep every night. Know what I’m saying?
So, I’m going to try this little experiment and see if it helps me get to the preferred path. Wish me luck, my Surf Report friends.
And tomorrow I’ll try to be a little less… severe. I promise.
See ya then.
Oh, and if you’d like to give the first half of your 2010 a grade, please feel free. And elaborate, as well, if you’re so inclined.
I’ll be back tomorrow.
woo hoo first?
1st Woweeeeeeee!
So far, so shitty.
Very deep dude!
The path that leaves us without much of a Surf Report doesn’t sound like much fun.
For me.
At this time.
No way, top 5? ***Laughs loudly***
Top ten! My grade shall be a bit higher!
1st qtr, A, second qtr probably a D so far. Last weekend an A. I think I’m averaging a B-.
I’ve lost all motivation, I sleep too much, and I don’t hate my job but I hate going to work. Does that make sense?
Good Afternoon Surf Reporters…..
2010 grade to date.. at best, a solid C minus. Not great by any means but could be a helluva lot worse.
B
2010 gets a B+ so far.
The first half of this year hasn’t been so bad for me. Not good, not bad. Just the usual number of crises. But a couple of close friends are eating the big one. One gave up an 80K job to look for something else. He worked for his father, and that wasn’t working out. He still hasn’t found work, and he got a DUI a couple weeks ago. The other friend, a guy I’ve known since college, got convicted of the attemped murder of his wife (whom I’ve also known since college), lost his job as an insurance agent, and filed for divorce, all between January and June. All this has made me realize just how lucky I am. I don’t have much, but I don’t have any of that crap going for me either!
My year went downhill around the end of September last year. Everything seemed to feel a lot better a couple weeks ago when I finally finished all my classes and got my final grades. Not tellin, I don’t want to sound like a braggart. Everything just seems to be hollow and without any substance since then. The joy I had kinda died and I don’t know why and can’t figure out how to fix it. The legacy of a man psyche is always to try and fix things he thinks are broken, relationships, cars, homes, etc. I just don’t know and maybe well enough that I don’t. So I go about being mediocre and undaunted be life expecting nothing much more than just being there. Oh, I have to concur with you Jeff, about a C minus. The only comfort is that I haven’t given up beer or expensive scotch. ***Giggle snort***
I keep trying to submit “D-” but it won’t post, which is rapidly causing matters to devolve into “F” territory….at this time.
I’m an artist, a painter, and I have been struggling with the “give up the paycheck to pursue my dream” thing for some time. Just this spring I’ve somehow managed to come to understand that the two aren’t mutually exclusive, that it has been my own perception of what I thought I had to do to “pay the bills a little better”, that has been keeping me punching the 9 to 5 clock. I’ve got a wife and a a kid and a mortgage and all of that, so it’s not as simple me living in a box to pursue my art, but I finally made “A Plan”. wrote it up and everything. Debated the finer points of it with the family, am beginning to work out a reasonable timetable to implement it. It sounds like your family has your back on most things, Jeff, so I bet if you worked it through with them, to alleviate any concerns that you were just gonna up and quit and move into the yurt and abandon your “responsibilities”, you too can make the transition to doing what you want *and* earning the income you need…
very interesting report today.
Am I satisfied? I’m not where I should be. not where I feel I could be. I’m working on it, though. Trying to be smart about it – not just flailing about aimlessly.
I’d have to give the first part of 2010 an A-. I got to go on a vacation, the husband hasn’t had to go play in the kitty litter sand box and the little people have not instigated thier own deaths. All in all promising. But we all know it can all go swirling down the ole shit taker in half a second flat.
give up beer? right! about as easy as giving up oxygen.
As soon as that book hits the net the cash will flow. Hang in there.
Driving past your place next week and would drop off some beer however, I do not want to be a bad influence. Or a stalker depending on your perspective.
F*ck no I ain’t satisifed. Too much booshit going on to be satisfied. I am on the wagon currently myself. It is a personal challenge to not drink until I can do it with my broken right arm. I’m in week 4 and other than the broken arm, I feel great. I miss booze, but I’m enjoying the clarity, and I am an eruption of creative thoughts.
1st quarter A+, as I received a promotion and am no longer a secretary (I am, however, still fat). 2nd quarter F, as I live in TX and it has been in the triple digits with humidity so high you can see it in the air, and now I have to wear professional suits, which tend to be on the heavy side and not my style to begin with.
I feel your pain Jeff. I have read the War of Art as well, but I still fight with myself all the time. I should try your experiment.
“Life is a comedy for those who think…and a tragedy for those who feel.”- H. Walpole
Sucks to see both sides, doesn’t it?
Okaaaaaay, that’s enough of that, sorry.
“it’s been as humid as Rosie O’Donnell’s crotch panel.”…That is hilariously disgusting! Although I’ve never had an encounter with Rosie’s humid manhood, I’m quite inclined to believe it’s true.
My year so far…I’d say an A…Got a raise, got a free transmission, moved out of our horrible upstairs apartment into a house, Saw Phish, and finally got internet so I can play Xbox. 2009 was rough though…that was a reallly bad year.
So far its a solid D…I could go deeper but it would just hurt worse. I think Jack said it best:
It’s all swamp and no mosquitoes
along the stripes of pin
The boots have all the vetoes
and the bags to put them in
It’s all blues and no dinner
at the Ministry of Bag
The steaks are getting thinner
the office is a drag
I give my 2010 a solid B+. I have a decent job, a house that I owe less than half of it’s worth on, and a nice little pickup truck. I’m fairly healthy and single again. Can’t complain thus far, but like they say, shitstorm could be in the forecast. Just remember Jeff, do what you love and the money will come to you. Or at least you’ll be happier. I think that’s what they told me, at least.
The year has gone so “well” for me that I stopped with the beer nonsense and switched to nightly vodka. Sound promising?
I give the whole first of the year a D. I bought a house for the first time (but had major headaches with the house & purchase of it) = B. I FINALLY received my $8k gubm’t check for said house = A, but have to quickly spend it on repairs/rehabbing = F. My employer has begun to lay people off in droves & I fear for my job daily = F & my dog continues to piss on my brand new area rugs in the new house = F-. I get to read thewvsr on most weekdays = A & wish you all nothing but the very best = A.
Here’s to tipping my vodka with lemonade to everyone in here in hopes that we all run into better times. 🙂
Sounds like you are approaching a self inflicted crossroads Jeff. May the decision get easier.
B-, no, make that a C.
Thought provoking post today. One subject I wrestle with on a daily basis. My job is just that…a job. Not a career. I need it to pay for, well, life…. But it is in no way my dream. It is so true about your inner voices…I can be my own worst enemy. My boyfriend is very supportive and tells me constantly to just quit my job, bite the bullit and go for it. Until my fucking house sells (on the market for a year now)…I can’t have that looming over my head and it’s not fair to hang that responsibility on him if I don’t bring in a regular paycheck.
I have wanted to “do my own thing” for years. I believe you have to work at your dream full time to see it realized. That’s hard to do when other responsibilities are constantly tapping you on the shoulder. Maybe I should read that book as well.
Oh…and I would give this year, so far, a “C”
Hang on Jeff–it’s been in the 50’s at night and 70’s during the day here in Central Illinois–hopefully it’s coming your way! It’s so nice to turn the air off and open up the windows!!!!
Good luck.
Grade: B
Hmmmm, first half of 2010? Unemployed, ball cancer, had to have a pet of 15 years put to sleep. And that’s just the biggies off the top of my head. So I would say my grade would be 2010 sucks big fat sweaty cock. Is that a grade, sucks big fat sweaty cock? That falls below an ‘F’ right?
But unlike the Zoloft popping pansies, I understand that life is all ebb and flow. When it’s bad it can range from into every life a little rain must fall to someone up above is taking a shit on my head. But without those valleys there would be no peaks – in other words a flat line and a flat line denotes dead.
Anyone else notice the past-life information slip? 🙂
Anyway – if you can afford the path that will make you happy, that is the path to take. What’s the point of making more money if you’re too miserable to enjoy it?
I took a $20,000/yr pay cut to switch to my current job, and let me tell you – it was worth every penny.
C-, I think I’m on a parallel path in so much as I don’t really enjoy what I do as much as I used to. Problem is I don’t really know what I would do if I left. Sounds crazy but I’ve never really known what I wanted to do from the time I started high school till to today, I’ve just taken what I could get and it’s all worked out. Except for that satisfaction you get for doing something you love. Jesus, that sounds terrible.
Kristin, I noticed.
Considering that our car was rear-ended in January, one would think that I’d grade the year a C or D, but when I look at the bank balance I have now; a direct result of the wreck, I’m happy to give it an A-!!ken
Uh….the “ken” was a mistake. Maybe the wreck did more damage than I thought…..lol
I say good riddance to the fuckin beer and the fuckin fast food. Sure, they’re both a lot of fun (for a little while) but they are also basically poison in a very real sense. Also, 30 minutes on a stairmaster (or something similar) every day or so will work wonders for your energy level, and it clears the cobwebs out of your head.
Good luck!
Ed,
Are you sure you are in the right place?
Sincerely,
T-Storm
Awesome Jeff. I can’t think of anything else to say that wouldn’t sound cheesy or cliche so I guess I won’t. Take care.
Yeah lol no shit T.
Hey, I know came off a little too serious, just was too lazy to word things differently. Not trying to start somethin’!
You can’t start stuff here, when others don’t drink it leaves more for us (me).
Question, kind of like what Jeff was saying that his life is kind of a choose your own adventure novel right now, is there any reporter who work in the so called “green” industry?
I’ve been into that crap since 4th grade but took the aviation high ground because it was cooler at the time. Now that I’m older and jaded I’m looking for something else, except might have to take a larger pay cut than was mentioned earlier and give up my lavish (drunk) lifestyle.
Speaking of which, I’ll be in Cincinnati Saturday, Sunday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, and possibly Cleveland and/or Columbus if anyone in the area wants to grab a drink.
I’ve taken a job for more pay. I was miserable.
I had an epihany one day – work will not fulfill me. I joined a choir; I joined the town band; I picked up my hobbies; I started volunteering more; I spent more time with the wife and kids. That stuff all, to varying degrees, fulfilled me (and some of it still does).
Energy begets energy. Change your attitude and the rest follows.
This year so far has been a solid B+ and I expect a solid A by end of year if all the pieces fit together as planned.
good health everyone.
Happy Birthday Canada
The telling photo and the contemplative post remind me of Friedrich Nietzsche and other German deutchbags who think all the world is shit. Of course they’re right, but every time we think about it, the terrorists win, and right now I’d settle for a tie.
Another way to look at it: When Friedrich Nietzsche was my age, he’d been dead for five years. So go for it.
In solace,
jtb
My Grandfather once asked me “how old are you”?
I said “I’m six”. He said “When I was your age I was seven!”. Then he cackled hysterically and threw a spoon against the window.
Steven Wright
Or, as Woody Allen wrote in a NY Times op ed, “More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.”
Woody would have liked Nietzsche had he not been German, or had he found a way to spell his name more compactly.
jtb
I think you should give up reading instead of beer.
Maybe your issue is the C- assessment; not really low enough to kick you in the ass to change dramatically, certainly not high enough to stop you from thinking or dreaming or beating yourself up.
A life tip I read years ago: figure out a few small things that may bother you each and every day and fix them (cut the grass or tell one of your kids to cut the grass or hire someone to cut the grass, buy a goat or sheep…). Soon that C- will feel like a B+
2010 A+ Jeff, i know what you mean about the War of Art , afraid to do what you want to because of whatever. I was a mechanic at a dealership for 12 years, I said F this and opened my own shop. Yeah my nuts drew up into my throat and you couldnt drive a straight pin up my ass with a sledgehammer for a while. 2 years later, im rockin out and couldnt be happier. Ive got the wife ,secrets, mortgage, even child support with my other baby mama. Do what you want to do, Jeff,. Youll be fine. And youll be glad you did. But keep drinkin, trust me
I predict the beginning of the end for WVSR.
I too have a job, not one that I love. I keep wishing for something different, yet stay firmly in place.
An average, boring, beige, C for 2010.
I aspire to a B for the rest of this year!