Since I had little to do with it, I think it’s OK for me to go on and on about how great the website looks at this point. Right? I’m not responsible for any of it, so it’s acceptable to gush, I believe.
On Monday the final tweak to the footer happened, and for the first time ever… I’m happy with it. There are always two or three things about the homepage that bug the crap out of me, but not now. It’s close to perfect, I think.
Sure, some of the inner pages suck, like the ABOUT page, and the Surf Report gift shop. But those are different projects for a different day. I’ll deal with them, eventually.
Right now I’m just gonna hit refresh and watch how lightning-fast the page loads, sigh with satisfaction, and smile like a large retarded man who just won a cake raffle.
I downloaded the new Eels album this morning, and it’s gonna take a few listens… It’s definitely not a record that grabs you by the throat on the first listen; an investment of time will be necessary. But I’m confident I’ll eventually dig it. I mean, it’s the Eels, right?
Here’s a review.
And Steve and I will be traveling to Philadelphia to see the “band” perform next month. I’m excited. They’re great live, and will rip your head clean off. Anybody else planning to be at the show? Maybe we can meet-up for a pre-concert adult beverage somewhere? Let me know.
At work they installed all new vending machines. I think the previous company lost their contract, or something, and now we’ve got some crazy-ass machines. Oh, nothing like the ones in Japan, ours still sell normal stuff. They’re just extra-flashy and unusual.
The soda machines have video screens that display commercials and sometimes the current temperature inside the machine itself. The candy bar/chips machines accept credit cards(?!), and also feature a large screen where you must confirm your purchase before committing to a contract to purchase a 3 Musketeers or whatever.
I kinda like the confirmation requirement. ‘Cause it sucks when you have your mind set on a certain candy bar, hit the wrong button, and a sack of trail mix drops — along with your heart. So, I give the confirmation requirement a big sausage thumb-up.
I haven’t seen anyone busting out the Visa card to buy Funyuns yet, but I’ll undoubtedly do it someday. I’m often without cash, so I can see myself taking advantage of the feature. In fact, the only reason I ever have actual cash is because of the vending machines at work… This might be the final nudge to a completely cashless existence.
Yeah, the things are pretty crazy. The soda machines are like something off the Jetsons. If a person from the 1890s was transported to our break room, he’d probably cower behind a chair every time someone bought a Coke.
“Balderdash, bully, and greasy shitballs, my good fellow!!”
One thing bothers me, though. All the candy bars are $1.00, except Milky Way. And they’re $1.10. Why? What’s that all about it?? I don’t get it. Is Milky Way a premium bar now? Can anyone explain this to me?
It was a challenge to get this update written, on account of a cranked-up Playstation game and constant interruptions, but I hope it wasn’t too suckin’. As for a Question… yesterday we talked about stuff that’s pissing us off. Why not do the opposite today, and discuss the things we’re excited about?
You know, specific things. Not abstract goop like “my wonderful family, who provide joy and inspiration every day…” This ain’t the Hallmark Channel. Or Facebook. Tell us about something that’s excited you recently.
Or just talk about vending machines, whatever.
I probably won’t be able to update again until Sunday. So, have a great weekend, my friends.
I’ll see ya next time!
“I’m a lot put off by “too much” cleavage in the office (yes, yes I know but there IS something such as too much).”
Fuck you, Hot; you’re way out of line here. And if you can’t figure out what to do with “more than a handful” we’ll have to send you back to man-school…Jeez, in management for a fuckin’ week and you’ve lost all perspective.
No, I don’t know how to make those little smiley faces; why do you ask?
To Sir with Love…
jtb
OB12
As for the QOD; I get pretty excited about sounding pissed off. Life is way too short to be pissed for all that long, even if you discount for loonies and toonies.
Yeah, we”ve sunk so far our currency is barely worth a loonie.
jtb
Brittney…
I can’t believe how not my business this is, but did I understand your boyfriend measures your breasts by “snapping” them? Why is he measuring your breasts as all? Has the whole world gone mad? Canada doesn’t like breasts and Illinois measures them. God help us.
jtb
In the office, sure, unless you work at Hooters corporate.
I was always told it’s better to be pissed off than pissed on.
I contend that it depends on who’s doing the pissing. Whitney Cummings or Laura Keitlinger can piss on me any day.
@jtb…LOL. Sure why not.
@T storm – At the Hooters near us, they’ve had the same manager for about 10 years. He’s really tall, which is perfect for him, for the view that is.
“I was always told it’s better to be pissed off than pissed on.”
Yeah, which is a problem Mr. t. Americans be acting like those are the only two states of being. They aren’t.
And for cripin’ out loud, stop siding with Nanook about smaller breasts. Fuck smaller breasts. Try it, it’s difficult.
jtb
Well sometimes you slam your dick in a car door, is that what you mean?
From a company email at 9:55 CST today:
The issue causing the phone outage in (corporate head quarters) has been resolved. If you continue to have issues, please call the (corporate head quarters) Helpdesk at 630-***-****.
Does this make anyone else’s head explode?
Well, I used to. For some reason, they’re making car doors smaller than in the old days. But if I’m going to talk about my private parts and tribulations I’m damn well gonna do so with a woman, preferably from Canadia, where size doesn’t mean much according to Hot. No offence Mr t.
jtb
t-storm…
Why the hell are you living in a place that doesn’t use Daylight Time? Where the hell are you? Iran? Texas?
jtb
Daylight time? CST – Central Standard Time. The timezone that occupies the likes of Illinois, Missouri, and my half acre of Oklahoma.
First of all, breast is not plural, unless you are talking in the general sense. Boobs are plural. 2 boobs = 1 breast.
Second, boobs are overrated. I have boobs, they are just on the teensy side.
I don’t have that other thing that women have that men want.
Many points were made. Please note which worm is the worthy bait…….- To make a smiley face do a colon followed by a round right bracket
🙂
It also works with semi colons and I believe left brackets
😉
:{
Unless of course colon is not plural unless you’re talking in the general sense. Is that like the beer vs. beers? “me ‘n my buddy Scooter had 14 beers” vs “Scoots ‘n me, put down about 14 beer, eh”.
BTW – I apologize for nothing.
P.S. – She who must be feared and obeyed is a D cup – hubba hubba….and she’s not proportional if you know what I mean and I’m not complaining
NB. . “I’m a lot put off by” as a phrase has no place in the English language. I would rather swear like a Cheese fucker than mangle syntax like that.
Breaking News – I still apologize for nothing!
🙁 the correct bracket would have helped (shifted 9)
Taiwan on – the other thing of which you speak… Money?
“Arizona (with the exception of the Navajo Nation) and Hawaii and the territories of Puerto Rico, Virgin Islands, Guam, and American Samoa are the only places in the U.S. that do not observe DST but instead stay on “standard time” all year long.”
Are you part of the Navajo Nation? Are you in a time vortex? My source could be wrong, but it looks like you should be on CDT. Have you been missing appointments lately?
jtb
I’m not sure you need to save daylight during the summer when we have so much of it… unless of course you’re saving it up NOW to use during the long nights during the winter.
Saskatchewan – it’s Cree for Potash – doesn’t flip to DST either. The bastards. It really buggers up people that live in a city right on the border with Alberta (drawing a blank on the name right now). If they cross the street their internal clock goes haywire from the imbalance.
LLoydminster, alta and Sask… I know no one cares but I had to purge the buffer
Dear Cheese Fucker,
Thanks for the smiley face tutorial. Just making a wild guess, right or wrong about breast size, I assume you know what time zone you’re in.
I’m trying to remember the names of the Canadian time zones. Let’s see… Maritime, Rocky, Hockey, Tim Horton, and Youkon Jack?
In any case, I think all of Canadia is on Daylight Time, with the possible exception of Newfoundland, which runs about 20 minutes behind. I might have that wrong.
best…
jtb
100% correct. I’m impressed. Newfoundland was the last province to join our little empire. 1949, the year Newfoundland took the rest of Canada under her wing.
Like Homer says (sorta) “gotta love Canada all quiet and tucked there under Mexico”… I’m probably way off. This is me really really caring. You’re not convinced. sigh
Yeah, I guess I once lost track of the moon
Just a little bit south of Saskatoon
Hey, young man.
I’ll stand on guard for Canada anytime.
Even the Maritimes
jtb
Ah, fair enough. I am generally at least half an hour late for everything, though. Except for my period, that bitch is like a motherfuckin’ swiss watch.
Either JTB has switched up his back pain meds or someone is impersonating him. The latter, for the record, is a lousy thing to do.
Also for the record, my fun bags are in the B- range. I got around this alleged problem simply by marrying a man with small hands. Yay small-handed men! But thanks for dredging up all my teenage insecurities, commentators. Totally awesome.
Like BK commercial small hands? Like you know he doesn’t have cancer small hands?
BK. But a little less freaky-deaky.
I wondered why that pill was purple.
Just to be clear, which seems a strange thing to be, the question wasn’t whether smaller than D-cup breasts were beautiful. They clearly are. The question was whether breasts could be too big at work. I know that seems like a funny question, but Mr. Hot made the assertion, not me.
jtb
And the forces of corporate evil that make girls and women worry about their bodytypes should go straight to hell.
jtb
I suppose if they’re big enough to get caught up in machinery, then they’re probably too big for that particular job.
Someone once said that the larger a girl’s breasts, the lower her I.Q. When in actuality, the larger her breasts, the lower men’s I.Q. That someone was right.
Gretchen – would it help if I said that regardless of the size, if you were to flash me the ta-taas, you’d have my undivided attention.
Anyway, I take my meds at night. THAT is the crazy me. This is just me.
Thank God t-storm isn’t living in Arizona without knowing it.
I have small hands. I can’t even shop for gloves in the boys’ department. I have to sneak over to Toddlers, and if that doesn’t make me feel creepy, ain’t nothing in the USA or Canada that will.
And don’t tell me you expected to get a first class mind AND C-cups as well. You’re beautiful just the way you look tonight.
jtb
Thanks guys. At least there’s always the fantastic ass to fall back on….sometimes literally. 😉
Nice joke. Asserting that there’s a company left in America that still has machinery. I assume you meant China or Brazil.
jtb
It’s not the prize inside…it’s the way it’s packaged. Cleavage is beautiful. Cleavage that is distracting makes my pee pee feel funny and I’m not sure that is what the ladies want (in the office). If I walk around with a traffic cone in my pants is that ok with the ladies? Or the guys for that matter? (dude, lose the boner dude)
And on that note, me and my palm pilots are heading over to Five Guys for a sympathy burger. And that’s something to be excited about! Toodles.
I will salute your flag, but I will not talk about your pee pee. The flag, but not the flagpole.
jtb
Have a great burger and night Brilliant Beautiful one.
Giovanni Baskettini – you too, have a good night.
StormDawg – have a happy period.
g’day.
good lord you guys give me heartburn sometimes. who gives a crap about canada anyway? i haven’t cared since the early 70’s when it looked like i might have to hop a Trailways to Montreal. But it all worked out when i drew a very high lottery number. i mean, i couldnt see me flushing a bunch of fender-heads out of a hole in the ground in some sweltering jungle. Canada? Celine Dion? I rest my case.
54’40 or fight! Wait….5’40 of that is in Canada? Forget it let’s go to Panama.
Man, that Criss Angel is really getting desperate.
Link
Gawd! Bikerchick made me have a crotch seizure. Not my fault. Bewbs are like having an ass in the front. Lets me look at your face and ass at the same time. What’s wrong with that? Nothing!
just signing in on the pro-boob petition.
You ever notice that when you advertise on craigsllist for someone to come over and shove GI Joes up your ass only the weirdos respond?
I leave you fucking assholes alone long enough to play nine holes of golf (poorly) and the site comes off the rails.
Brittney …if hobbits are gaaay (not that there is anything wrong with that) why did Sam hook up with such a fucking hot ass halfling? I’d love to run that curly headed hobbit through the round door.
Yay for boobies!
Glad to hear you take your meds at night jtb, I thought you fell off the wagon…and hit your head!
I’ll have to re-read all this tomorrow and hope sobriety clears it up.
@Kevindust, Sos, and WB…Hey, if I knew they allowed racing fans here, I wouldn’t have kept silent on the subject for so long!
Kevindust, Oswego is probably the one track I haven’t been to that is on my “must see” list. I used to work with a guy here in Nome, Alaska who used to pit for Joe Gosek.
My one and only race I got to see this year was at Raceway 7 in Conneaut. Got to see three heat races before the skies opened up with Noah’s Ark type, Biblical proportions of rain.
It was indeed a tasty pizza. The amount of Haggis was just right and it wasn’t too peppery.
The tomato sauce was excellent and the base was thin and light. There could have been a bit more cheese though.
8/10
Seems like only yesterday
I left my mind behind
Down in the Gypsy Café
With a friend of a friend of mine
She sat with a baby heavy on her knee
And spoke of life most free from slavery
With eyes that showed no trace of misery
A phrase in connection first with she I heard
That love is just a four letter word
0440 in the Great Pacific Northwest, sixty with a light breeze. This is Rock-a-Day Johnny in my FM voice. Just one more verse from the poet of a generation.
Black crows in the meadow
Across a broad highway
Black crows in the meadow
Across a broad highway
Y’know it’s funny, honey
But I just don’t feel much like a
Scarecrow today
clintcurtis& wb I have a friend who lives near Eldora. I would like to go see the Kings Royal sometime that is on the bucket list along with the mile at Saracuse. I used to like Nascar but it died with Dale Earnhart. Now it’s NHRA drag racing. That shit pounds your chest and makes your eyes burn..I love it!