And now the answers to yesterday’s quiz…
1. Small “crackle-glass” mini pitcher, made at a long-defunct glass plant once located in my hometown of Dunbar, and imaginatively called Dunbar Glass. It was the first thing I ever bought off eBay, way back in ’96 or something.
2. A baseball signed by Mickey Mantle, aka The Greatest Baseball Player Ever. I wrote about the day I secured it, here.
3. A baseball signed by Johnny Bench, aka Also The Greatest Baseball Player Ever. Toney gave it to me as a Christmas present years ago, so I didn’t actually see him sign it. But it came from a reputable dealer, with a certificate of authenticity, etc. So it’s gotta be real, right?
4. Johnny Bench figurine-type deal. I think Steve gave it to me.
5. My class ring from good ol’ Dunbar High. On one side it features an angry-looking bulldog, and on the other is the West Virginia state seal. An ex-girlfriend had it for years, but I made a big, loud point of getting it back when everything went down the crap-catcher. It barely fits over my pinkie at this point.
Also in the picture, but not part of the contest, is a miniature Mayberry police car, and a British pound coin, brought home from London.
So, there ya go. Who did the best? Did anyone get two? Hash it out in the comments, and I’ll see you guys in a few hours.
Joe T. says
Wow, this suits my style. Nice autographs….I have Bench’s on a piece of paper, but not Mickey’s.
I got exactly NONE of them. That might be because I didn’t guess at any of them, for I am lazy and unimaginative and have a head full of snot that impedes all creativity.
jim britton says
The ring impression was clear, the rest stumped me.
Neat stuff. I got a Johnny Edwards ball somewhere. Catcher before Bench. Dreamed I’d take his spot someday. Well more than dreamed. Lived like I was going to.
Excellant dusting job I must say. Looks like some great. Shineola work there too. And what’s up with the cop car. Where’d that come from? I saw no tire tracks in the first pic. Anyway…great job. At least the Bunker has no windows so you should be good for a year or three.
Wow, I thought I really had all 5 correct.
Tiff – I second the creativity draining whilst the head do snot…I mean…does not.
My head and nose are acting like I’m snorting pollen; WTF?
Hab a dice day!
Wasn’t Johnny Bench a part of your Nativity Scene at one time?
I got none of them, but I knew I wouldn’t…I was just happy to come up with some guesses.
I have a Curtis Granderson signed baseball, an Igor Larionov signed puck and an Oriol Servia signed Champ Car, along with a metric boatload of signed Mario Andretti memorabilia.
Oh yeah, and a Paul Newman signed kick-ass Steve McQueen LeMans jacket. That’s pretty much my prized possession at this point.
Had a feeling I wasn’t getting any of them correct; but still, fun to guess.
Jeff, I think you can get your HS ring re-sized. And I understand about wanting it back from that long ago Ex, but wouldn’t it be creepy to be still wearing it on regular basis at your age?
Maybe I just don’t understand the HS ring thing. Does anyone wear theirs past their senior year? I need to know,’cause my son might start pressuring me for one next year and I need some real world statistics to back me up when I say “no”.
Should men ever wear jewelry other than a wedding band? and a watch? Is this some how in ratio to the body spray thing?
I don’t think I ever wore that ring harumpa, even when I was in high school. I mean, what am I, Paulie Walnuts? I don’t even wear a watch.
And the body spray thing is just another dumbass middle school fad. Irritating and retarded, but probably no more than my friends and I were at that age.
Good memory, Buck. JB used to stand beside Joseph in the manger, waiting for a pop fly. It was another figurine, but similar. We didn’t put out the nativity scene this year, I just realized…
Evil Twin's Wife says
The Evil Twin guessed the class ring – down to the correct school – correctly. I guess he was off on the mini-pitcher. His guess was “bong”. That’s what ya get for working for the only “record store and lifestyle emporium” for nearly a decade.
i am with tiff, but i don’t even have the snot excuse.
i barely wore my class ring even in HS – wotta waste of $…
Did anyone even come close? Just curious.
Here’s what Buck was talking about, from way back when we still had carpet in our living room. Berber carpet, which feels like you’re walking on coiled rope…
J Shifty says
If the drugs are in the trunk of the Mayberry police car, then maybe I got one on a technicality.
In related news: a high school ex-girlfriend left the country still in possession of my high school class ring. Twelve years later, a friend from those days became rommates with the scofflaw in a distant hip American city. After a couple years of that, they were at each other’s throats but too lazy to move. So one year before coming home for Christmas, Friend B decided to do me a “favor” and steal back my ring.
Imagine my surprise when she slowly opened her cupped hands to reveal, yes, you know what’s coming: the ex-girlfriend’s size 2 class ring! So now nobody’s happy, and everyone I know is an asshole, including me, I guess. Kind of a modern day Stolen Gift of the Magi story to warm the heart in this holiday season.
Shockingly, I guessed the knuckle dragger too, I mean ring but that was it. I totally discounted Jeff’s baseball fetish, next we’ll hear he’s gotten himself a job as a shoe salesman so he can touch people’s feet.
On the icky boy body spray front I’ve recently seen a commercial for “Bod” spray, it looks like a bottle of Windex, spray pump and all, with the word “Bod” written across it. The male models had six-pack stomachs and girls were gawking while they worked out — but from a distance.
Thanksgiving we had lots of folks over and one person managed to leave our couch reeking for weeks after he left with some sort of “instead of a shower I will bath in Axe”. Man that was nasty. Never spray Febreeze on such an affected area. Think respirator and HazMat.
Speaking of smelly crap for boys; we had Jovan Musk for Jr. High dances and such. You could just hold the bottle for 10 seconds and that shit would be on you for a week. It would even cover up beer, weed and cigarette odor. The best part was that one bottle would last an entire adolesence; what a bargain!
fattie20xl / lucas says
i really thought that jeff collected celebrity pubes in an altoid tin.
and kept his toenails in a coffee can.
Good Morning Surf Reporters……..
Here was my original guess;
1. – Autographed baseball from 1972 Cincinnati Reds
2. – CD of Zamfir, Master of the Panflute
3. – Garfield daily calendar
4. – Johnny Bench bobblehead doll
5. – High School class ring
almost three out of five ain’t too shabby!!
I’ll pat myself on the back for the Johnny Bench mention, even though it’s not a bobblehead…
All those boys body sprays are way over the top- but wait till this comes out-
Imagine a school full of boys wearing that?
Bill in WV says
I recall a stanky aftershave called LECTRISHAVE. Anyone remember that stuff?
Bill in WV,
I remember LECTRISHAVE. It was supposed to make your hair stand up so that an electric razor could whack it off. I never had much luck with letric razors. Whenever I’d get done “shaving” my neck would look like I was wearing a turtle neck made of raw hamburger meat.
My wife got me a straight razor on our first anniversary. It took some serious getting used to, especially around the upper lip, but now it’s fine. And I’ll never have to buy another razor again. Ever.
Sure do, Bill…
I wore Jovan Sex Appeal because I was sure it would help me get laid. It seemed to work.
My class ring spent its first year on the finger of my high school girlfriend and after that it has laid in drawer for almost 40 years. It cost 35 bucks at the time. I wonder what they cost now?
Damn, I really screwed the pooch on this one. Here were my guesses:
1) Bong, but only for decorative purposes
2) “No One’s Perfekt” giant coffee mug
3) Abba and Chumbawumba CDs
4) Rubber vomit
5) Cock ring, of course
Loving the “Flame”. I think I squirted that bottle 16 times.
So, “No” to the HS ring– as you will never wear it. And you’ll probably lose it on a beach or give it to some girl.
These new quarter updates are like those 100 calorie snack packs, or Little Kings Beers. Let’s go back to the novella format already.
Jimmy Kuhn says
I lost my class ring inside Renee Bennett. Never did get it back.
good to go, is that Bill Richardson?
Shiny Rod says
Tiff, a couple nips of Evan will clear that up.
harumpa – I knew as a high school student that I wouldn’t wear the high school ring, so instead I went to Foland’s and bought myself an opal (pretty darn small as you can imagine) with a diamond (world’s smallest) accent. I wore it for YEARS. Lost my college ring when I lived in SF (so between 1996-2000), otherwise I’d still be wearing it, but it wasn’t big and gaudy and fit my pinkie.
Shiny Rod says
@Rusty – $350 and up for the good ones.
I suck at this game.
I just asked my 20-year-old daughter, “Hey, you still wear your class ring?” She replies, “Yeah. In fact, I was just wearing it the other day.”
Before I could really contemplate the nerdish implications, she replies, “It makes a great bottle-opener.”