A few nights ago Clive Bull asked his listeners to call-in and tell him what they believe are the most memorable advertising slogans of all time.
And I had absolutely no idea what they were talking about. Zero. Every reference was unknown to me, almost every product a mystery. I mean, what the crap’s Fairy Liquid? If I were forced to guess, I’d probably say it’s the name of one of the dancers at the Pink Pony. I got nothing, really.
When we were in London (at almost exactly this time last year — *sniff*) I was a little surprised at how Americanized the TV programming was. I’d flip through the channels at night, and we could’ve been in Cincinnati, or Raleigh. It was all loaded-up with Friends reruns, and Everybody Loves Raymond. Just like it is here.
But the advertising slogans Clive’s callers were pulling out of their, uh, bums, baffled me. I had no connection to any of them. However, and I find this to be amazing, I listened to the whole three hours, and enjoyed the hell out of it. I guess that’s the sign of a great host, huh?
I took the liberty of lifting the final list off Clive’s blog, and posting it here. But, just for fun, I replaced one of the slogans with a line from an old Surf Report rant. Can you spot it? I bet it’s not easy…
It does exactly what it says on the tin.
For hands that do dishes…
A Mars a Day helps you work rest and play.
I bet he drinks Carling Black Label.
Should have gone to Specsavers.
Eating like a hog ain’t a gland.
For Mash get Smash.
Go to work on an egg.
Watch out there’s a Humphrey about.
If you see Sid tell him.
A few are easy to figure out, but what do you think some of those are promoting, anyway? Especially the last two. What the?
And what do you believe are the most memorable American slogans?
When I was but an ugly youngster, there was a sprawling furniture store in our town, called Fad. I have no idea where that name came from — Fad Furniture? — it seems kind of strange to me now.
But they had TV commercials that always featured the tagline: When Fad has a sale, Fad has a sale! This was usually shouted repeatedly, at a volume generally reserved for people attempting to communicate with a person trapped inside a collapsed mine.
But it was memorable, and I seem to recall it won a few national advertising awards.
Another local slogan: At the sign of the happy clown! Heh. Do any of the West Virginia readers remember that one?
Of course, there’s plenty of memorable national advertising slogans. Stuff like Great Taste, Less Filling, Where’s the beef? and that sort of thing. But I’m most interested in the local ones; they’re usually more colorful and ridiculous.
In Atlanta, for instance, there was a barbecue restaurant with Put Some South In Your Mouth painted (crudely) on the outside. And there was (is?) a bar there, with the slogan, A Buckhead Tradition Since February.
And in California we frequented a brew pub whose tagline was, Just Because You Work For a Faceless Corporation, Doesn’t Mean You Have to Eat at One. Kinda cumbersome, but effective…
So, that’s the Question of the Day: what are your favorite advertising slogans? They can be national, or local. As my spiritual advisor, J. Mascis, says, whatever’s cool with me.
And before I call it a day here, I have a very exciting announcement for you guys. My good friend Brad, who I met during a previous lifetime at Peaches Records, and his wife Wendy, are celebrating the birth of their son.
Check him out: the world’s youngest Surf Reporter!
Congratulations, guys. He looks perfect, and I couldn’t be happier for you. It’s terrific news. This weekend I’ll hoist a sweaty microbrew in your honor. All THREE of you. Excellent.
And that’s going to do it for today, boys and girls.
I’ll be back tomorrow.
A recent print ad locally for “Sofa King” advertises
” Our prices aren’t just low, They’re Sofa-king low” Then underneath, in small letters it says “read that out loud, and slowly…” Hilarious!!!
Quick Henry, the Flit!
Hi-C…You know how good it is.
As mentioned previously, I’m on the Crazy Eddie bandwagon.
His prices were insane.
Sims dept store, Sy Sims here
Sims – where and educated consumer is our best customer
Course we always heard it as where and educated Jew is our best customer, but whatever
Also a beer ad that they couldn’t get away with these days: Schaeffer is the one beer to have when you’re having more than one!”
and Joon Rhee!! holy crap i’d forgotten all about him!
and Kemp Mill Records sucked.
A pub in Salt Lake City had a billboard that said, “Polygamy Porter, Take some home for the wives” and “Why stop at just one?”
As a Mormon, I get it and it’s funny as hell!
@Sam – I’ve seen that on T-shirts as well.
I think I posted this another day, but it’s relevant here: “You can’t beat Wagner’s Meat” (although I’ve recently found out that Wagner’s meat market is now out of business – his bumper stickers live on).
The Pink Pony’s dancers are BABY, RAVEN and UNIQUE! They’ve never taken down the letters from their sign.
I’ve heard this tag line years before as a joke but a local business is currently using it:
“AFS, Where the customer ALWAYS comes first.”
(Adult Fun Superstore)
I sing this song to my wife all the time. Listen to the link and enjoy…
http://www.lyttonsfurniture.com/
On a posted advert at a bus stop in London, circa 1980:
“Faggots. Great balls of meat.”
Any Brits/ex-pat Brits out there, please explain.
‘plop plop fizz fizz’ speaks for itself
btw…LOVE Vince the SHAMMOW guy…’we can’t do this all day folks…’
A good one here in AU atm is “Get some nuts!” spoken by the one and only Mr. T. Just like Mars, it’s a chocolate bar..
B-A-Double L-A-R-D-S spells Ballards
It’s the best, stands the test, outclasses all rest. It’s Ballards for you! (jingle for selling sausage and bacon while two fat little pigs dance around).
BTW,I haven’t actually been to the Adult Fun Superstore (Where the Customer ALWAYS comes first!) but I am willing to take a smoking fish, a camera and check it out. You know, in the name of research.
Might even run into Eninen.
We had a very successful local entrepreneur who used “You know this guy” in all of his adds: “. Every third commercial was an add for one of his businesses! Well, he died last week, I wonder if they’ll update the adds to say “You knew this guy”…
The Tennessee Pride Sausage jingle will sometimes play in my head all day. I haven’t seen the commercial for years, though the product is still around. It looks cheap and horrible, judging by the package design.
The jingle goes like this, with a hillbilly tune:
For real country sausage, the best you’ve ever tried
Pick up a pound or two of Tennessee Pride
etc.
It was a terrible commercial with bad animation, but that song will never leave my brain, ma-a-a-an!
“I can’t believe I ate the whole thing.” I think it was for Alka-Seltzer.
Hey Taiwan, Faggots are giant spicy football shaped pork meatballs, they used to have a commercial that stated:”I’ve nothing against faggots, I just don’t fancy them.” unfortunately the faggots got upset & the commercial was banned:)
Check this out:
http://www.myspace.com/tennesseepridefarmboy
I like friend Ainslie!
Another fan of Crazy Eddie checking in
As far as nationwide campaigns I was a fan of the Miller Lite ( maybe ? ) ads that would feature a guy lying his way into any opportunity to enjoy a brew. Crashing a family reunion or co-opting a limo ride from the airport, whenever anyone doubted that he was who he said he was ( “YOU’RE Doctor Galaciewicz ?” ) he’d respond with a smarmy, satisfied ” Yes I am ! “, holding up a frosty bottle. Much more entertaining than those “Whazzup !!! ” ass-clowns
I’m surprised Shiny Rod or Pagan didn’t beat me to this:
Up Toronto way there’s a chain of furniture and appliance stores called Bad Boy. They inundate the Southern Ontario airwaves with commercials featuring the owner and his son dressed in stereotypical black and white prison uniforms shouting the slogan “Nobody’s better than Bad Boy! NOOOOOOOOOO-BODDDY!!!!” (here’s a sample: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7XpCYgJq9k )
Last year they opened a store not far (enough) from where I live and supersaturated all radio, TV, and newspaper ads with the grand opening ads featuring that slogan. After a week my brainstem almost melted.
Footnote: The owner of Bad Boy was the Mayor of Toronto for a few years. He called in the Army after a snow storm. Because, being in Canada, we’re not used to dealing with snow…
I remember this jingle on the radio from 40 years ago…
..so take the wheel of your automobile, and drive on down to..Ideal
for most of my life I didn’t even know what they sold..but I knew the jingle..
-South Jersey
@Brandy…are you in Waco Texas…we have the same slogan here for a port-o-potty business “we’re number 1 in the number 2 business”…just wondering?
For local we have Kirkpatrick and Witt Furniture “We’re left on the corner and right on the price” and 1-800- SAFE AUTO…it’s a song that drive’s me batty…or Clark Motors..”the big green building with the big yellow sign”…and last but not least “Automax it’s you and me!!” ABSOLUTLEY HATE THAT ONE!!
I’m sure there are way more than this but I’m tired…Happy Hump Day all!
There used to be a restaurant on Rt 35 on the way to Point Pleasant called Pam’s Ham.
There was an enormous sign painted on the side of the building that said “Eat Pam’s Hams”.
We always thought that was hilarious.
ETW:
Do you remember the Valleydale marching band pig parade? Kinda like the Ballards spots.
And for fans of WGN TV:
588! 2300! Empire!
Orlando Fla.: Art Grindle Dodge. Hilarious.
Cincy: ” Burger Beer …the beer that brings you Baseball!”… Waytt Hoytt
I liked Bucky Beaver. Was cool for Ipana toothpaste but no solgan for you.
“A little dab will do ya”.
Wendy’s…”Hot and Juicy”…..mmmk
I spent some time in Iowa and the ads for “Mecadox Hogs” slayed me. I’m sure a steroid/ grow hormone thing but they sponored the morning farm report. YUM!!
I have a couple…
From the late 80s, DC…
“Try Mr. Ray’s way!” – for Mr. Ray’s Hair Weave
From the early/mid 70s, NYC…
Off-screen voice: “Hey Jerry, what’s the story?”
Jerry (big-bellied guy in hardhat, with thick NYC accent): “The story is, come to JGE [something about great deals on appliances] …JGE is NOT open to the general public, only to union members and their families. Just show your union or civil service card at the door, and YOU’RE IN!” …Not really a slogan, I guess.
Also from NYC in the 70s, possibly nationwide: “Mama mia, that’s a spicy meatball!” Alka-seltzer?
Wait, there’s another. Three guys, one after another: “I came back.” “I came back.” “I came back.” Then all three together: “We all came back! To Brylcreem!” Seen on Mets game broadcasts, late 60s/early 70s.
OK, I’m done.
Tyrosine you are probably much to young to remember this one: “Hi I’m Crazy David and I sell Teeeee Shirts” I was spendig way too much time at Rochdale college back then:)
From Cortelyou Road in Brooklyn in the early 70s:
We’re the pest doctors, all our patients die
Local exterminator
@Oral and 2Tall, do you recall the end of the Cal Worthington commercials where they sang, “Go see Cal. Go see Cal. Go see Cal.
There used to be a sign outside a roadside diner/gas station that read “Eat here and get gas”. It was along Highway 50 on the way to Lake Tahoe, where my mother usually took us for Thanksgiving every year. (I have come to associate that particular holiday with the child care services at Harrah’s Casino.) To an 8-year-old sitting with an annoying little brother in the back of a wood-paneled station wagon, the sign was hilarious, and the anticipation of seeing it again year after year helped kill some time on the long drive. My poor mother and older sisters then had to listen to us make fart noises (some real, some imitation) for the remainder of the time in the car.
I can’t remember many from my WV days in the ’80s.
Here in Alaska, probbly the most memorable is Ted Sadler and his dancing and singing in his own commercials. Cheezy as heck, but his prices are low AND he is a great guy too!
We also have Cal Worthington up here…although I can’t remember seeing “his dog Spot” in quite a while. He’s looking his age now…gotta be 80s or 90s by now. He was a pretty heavily decorated hero back in WWII.
And too all you guys here from my old home in Western Washington, you can just “Honk if you love Vern Fonk!” (insurance salesman).
A couple of local Indianapolis slogans that are forever seared into my brain:
Local Car Dealer – “He’s the tall thin guy with the big fat deals”.
Local Gun Shop – “I don’t want to make any money folks, I just looooove to sell guns”.
Congrats to Brad, Mother and the Youngest Surf Reporter!
Ajax cleans like a white tornado…
An early 70s local radio ad for a haunted house that was being sponsered by WGNT in Huntington, WV included the lines:
The doc told me to stay away from wine, women, song and hainted houses. I may sing to a woman when I’m drinkin’ but I’m not going in there!
-and-
I’d be happier than a half-starved bed bug in a mattress factory!
I think this could have been Sleepy Jeffers in the ad but I’m not sure. He was big in radio back in the day.
The best fake slogan had to be from WKRP:
Red Wigglers! They’re the Cadillac of worms!
Not to one up Gordie, but Don also loves to rent guns.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynCsFZ3AS3E&feature=related
Favorite fake slogan:
Powder Milk Buscuits
With the brown spots on the bag
that indicate freshness.
Heavens they’re tasty,
and expeditious
Real slogans
Freshen Up Gum.
“The gum that goes squirt!”
The Oscar Mayer Wiener song.
Dunkin Donuts:
“Time to make the donuts.”
Meow Mix:
Meow, Meow, Meow, Meow, etc.
Royal Pudding:
“Even when you make it wrong it comes out right.”
I’m shocked that wordnerd didn’t post this one, but the ads for Frankie & Johnnie’s Furniture in New Orleans never failed to make me laugh.
Frankie: “I say, I say, Isay, I say, Fifty Dollas down gets you, THIS!”
Customer: “I got no job and no money to pay down, can I get credt?”
Frankie: “You’ll have to see, THE SPECIAL MAN!”
Special Man: “GIVE IT TO HER, WITH NOOOOOOO PROBLEMS.”
Frankie: “At Frankie & Johnnie’s home of the eeeeeeasiest credit around. And Buy from me, get a chicken box free!”
@Taiwan On – the most famous brand of faggots is/was “Brain’s”, i.e. Brain’s Faggots. What were they thinking?
UK – “smoke a fag” – have a cigarette
US – “smoke a fag” – shoot a homosexual
Oops, correction:
Powder Milk Biscuits
In the brown bag
with the spots that indicate freshness
that indicate freshness.
Heavens they’re tasty,
and expeditious
Once your family’s tried ’em
You’ll know you’ve satisfied ’em
They’re the real hot item
Powder Milk
Another:
See the USA in your Chevrolet!
Crap, Jorge beat me to the local Detroit ads.
…its Velveeta versus cheddar
our Velveeta melts much better,
cheddar’s lumpy, cheddar’s oily,
it dribbles off your plate onto your doily…
So when the cookbook calls for cheddar,
make it with Velveeta, it melts better!
Dayton Andrews Chrysler Jeep, UNDER THE OLD OAK TREE!
The tagline isn’t that corny or memorable, but if you see Mr. Andrews around town (Clearwater, FL) and mention the old oak tree to him, he will reach into his pocket and hand you a crisp two dollar bill!
Annoying / Catchy jingle that hooked me last night.
The new McDonalds ad for fish sammich value meals and the “Billy Bass” on the wall that starts singing:
“Gimme back that filet-o-fish
Gimme that fish
Gimme back that filet-o-fish
Gimme that fish
What if it was you
hanging up on this wall?
If you were in that sandwich
you wouldn’t be laughing at all!”
That shit’s been stuck in my head since I heard it for the first time….
A local grocery store advertises in our weekly pennysaver: “You can’t BEAT OUR MEAT!!” It’s a beautiful thing…
@ Pagan: Either I’m too young or Crazy Dave never aired south of Kitchener. London is a bit of a wasteland you know.
Some vintage regional Massatwoshitts gems. Guess which company is now a national caffeinated phenomenon occasionally debated in the WVSR commments:
“Left on Spitbrook, Right on Daniel Webster”
“Why, they’re even better than yours, WANDA!”
“I can walk like a penguin!”
And a personal national favorite:
“Just like homemade. But no lumps!”
(I guess those are memorable lines from commercials rather than the official slogans, but they certainly built brand identity in my malleable mind).
Jordan’s Furniture! Classic!
Dunkin Donuts muffins “Well, I won’t be needing this anymore!”
Boston Aquarium “Look, ma! A dolphin show!”
Hometown Gravy?
How about this: “I’m Robulan and I come from MArs, and we eat all kinds of candybars. What’s this? Some Earth Fruit? Mmm, this is good. This is better than good; it’s yummy and not bad. Wait til I tell the other Martians about this! By only eating candybars, we don’t know what we’ve missed!”
Of course my all time favorites are the many Carvel Ice Cream Cake commercials that featured a voice over that could very well have been the official sound of throat cancer speaking some truly hammy copy about Fudgie the Whale or Cookie O’ Puss.
Plop, plop. Fizz, fizz. Oh what a relief it is!
I don’t remember any local commercials but theres a nation wide commercial that I see from time to time and it throws me into fits of rage.
It’s the “Video Professor” and he sells disk which he claims can teach ANYONE to google, use email, wipe their ass, etc. At the end he tilts his head to the side and wears a sad look while saying, “buy my product.”
Fuck you, Video Professor. Drink bleach.
A couple of local ones from the 70’s in Western Mass:
Railroad Salvage (a surplus place actually in CT) was owned by a guy named Rudy Vine – he and his wife Choo-Choo (get it?) did their own ads and they were worth watching just to see Rudy’s bad suits (even by 1970’s standards this guy made plaid a bad word). Choo-Choo’s outfits were always loud pantsuits, it seemed, but the kicker was her hair, which was black as coal and BIG. Sometimes just to get her hair in the frame they would have to pan out so far you couldn’t see their lips move. Sorry, I know this was about slogans but the Vine’s local ads always had me in hysterics.
The other was Big D furniture, which featured a loud woman with an overdone Boston accent asking “What’s the story, Big D?” after which Big D himself would yell out amazing prices on crappy furniture. the woman interrupted every now and them with “What’s the REAL story, Big D?”, always followed by more infomercial-loud shouting. This was a catch phrase around Western Mass for quite a while.
The thing I remember the most about all of these commercials is how grainy the film was and how cheap the graphics were – Atari did better images with Pong than these guys.
Ewey gooey rich and chewy inside,
that’s right, take a bite,
tender gold and flakey on the outside,
your darn tootin,
it’s a big fig Newton,
It’s a big fig Newton.
An Atlanta Electrician company – “You don’t have to put up with any malarkey when you call Mr. Sparky!”