A few nights ago Clive Bull asked his listeners to call-in and tell him what they believe are the most memorable advertising slogans of all time.
And I had absolutely no idea what they were talking about. Zero. Every reference was unknown to me, almost every product a mystery. I mean, what the crap’s Fairy Liquid? If I were forced to guess, I’d probably say it’s the name of one of the dancers at the Pink Pony. I got nothing, really.
When we were in London (at almost exactly this time last year — *sniff*) I was a little surprised at how Americanized the TV programming was. I’d flip through the channels at night, and we could’ve been in Cincinnati, or Raleigh. It was all loaded-up with Friends reruns, and Everybody Loves Raymond. Just like it is here.
But the advertising slogans Clive’s callers were pulling out of their, uh, bums, baffled me. I had no connection to any of them. However, and I find this to be amazing, I listened to the whole three hours, and enjoyed the hell out of it. I guess that’s the sign of a great host, huh?
I took the liberty of lifting the final list off Clive’s blog, and posting it here. But, just for fun, I replaced one of the slogans with a line from an old Surf Report rant. Can you spot it? I bet it’s not easy…
It does exactly what it says on the tin.
For hands that do dishes…
A Mars a Day helps you work rest and play.
I bet he drinks Carling Black Label.
Should have gone to Specsavers.
Eating like a hog ain’t a gland.
For Mash get Smash.
Go to work on an egg.
Watch out there’s a Humphrey about.
If you see Sid tell him.
A few are easy to figure out, but what do you think some of those are promoting, anyway? Especially the last two. What the?
And what do you believe are the most memorable American slogans?
When I was but an ugly youngster, there was a sprawling furniture store in our town, called Fad. I have no idea where that name came from — Fad Furniture? — it seems kind of strange to me now.
But they had TV commercials that always featured the tagline: When Fad has a sale, Fad has a sale! This was usually shouted repeatedly, at a volume generally reserved for people attempting to communicate with a person trapped inside a collapsed mine.
But it was memorable, and I seem to recall it won a few national advertising awards.
Another local slogan: At the sign of the happy clown! Heh. Do any of the West Virginia readers remember that one?
Of course, there’s plenty of memorable national advertising slogans. Stuff like Great Taste, Less Filling, Where’s the beef? and that sort of thing. But I’m most interested in the local ones; they’re usually more colorful and ridiculous.
In Atlanta, for instance, there was a barbecue restaurant with Put Some South In Your Mouth painted (crudely) on the outside. And there was (is?) a bar there, with the slogan, A Buckhead Tradition Since February.
And in California we frequented a brew pub whose tagline was, Just Because You Work For a Faceless Corporation, Doesn’t Mean You Have to Eat at One. Kinda cumbersome, but effective…
So, that’s the Question of the Day: what are your favorite advertising slogans? They can be national, or local. As my spiritual advisor, J. Mascis, says, whatever’s cool with me.
And before I call it a day here, I have a very exciting announcement for you guys. My good friend Brad, who I met during a previous lifetime at Peaches Records, and his wife Wendy, are celebrating the birth of their son.
Check him out: the world’s youngest Surf Reporter!
Congratulations, guys. He looks perfect, and I couldn’t be happier for you. It’s terrific news. This weekend I’ll hoist a sweaty microbrew in your honor. All THREE of you. Excellent.
And that’s going to do it for today, boys and girls.
I’ll be back tomorrow.
The one that get’s me now is the Free Credit Report.com song- I can’t even type it because it will run through my brain for the next 3 days. It’s like having the same bad dream over and over and over and over and… you get the point.
Amazing how many (ex-)NYers have checked in with Crazy Eddie. Amazing how that’s the first thing we all think of.
I also see that someone else beat me to the JGE Appliances one…and yes, he DID have a slogan, at the end of every ad: “So that’s the story, Jerry?” “That’s the STOR…EEE!!!”
Nurse Ratched says
Dave…..Don’t forget good ol’ Tom Carvel
did anyone today remember to answer their phone “Anal and Rectal.”?
@JASON, i hate that “buy my product” guy. Hate ‘im.
This one’s for LIMEY:
When you eat your Smarties,
Do you eat the red ones last?
Do you suck them very slowly,
Or crunch them very fast?
Eat that candy-coated chocolate,
But tell me when I ask,
When you eat your Smarties,
Do you eat the red ones last?
(I rufuse to do the @Brooke thing because i don’t want to be too hip) I hope he slams his tits in a car door tonight.
When I lived in Las Vegas, there were commercials all the time for Glen Lerner, The Heavy Hitter (personal injury lawyer)…”One Call, That’s All”. I was so happy when I moved to Phoenix that I didn’t have to deal with Glen Lerner. Then he started an office in Phoenix. “Call Lerner & Rowe, it’s the way to go, call 977-1900″. Damn that giant Glen Lerner!
Another Vegas commercial was for Towbin Dodge…”CHOP IT!”. They actually have 30 minute infomercials that were probably the most entertaining car-mercials I’ve ever seen. Their sales people dress up in weird shit, and drive the cars by The Chopper, who goes on to describe the car, and then chop the price. Then there’s the Blue Genie, who apparently gets so excited by the cars that he sometimes humps them….
Oh, The Chopper Show is apparently online:
jim britton says
Fudgie the Whale!
@NDfan in AZ-
We have a “one call, that’s all” guy in Milwaukee too- Gruber Law Offices- He does his own commercials and has a bit of a speech impediment (not that there is anything wrong with that)- which make his commercials even more irritating.
Have yall seen the Bender and Bender (I think) law commercials where they sue for Social Security? One of them comes on wearing an Indiana Jones hat and says, “You have enough to worry about.” I hate them almost as much as the Video Professor.
That ad was ubiquitous in the mid 70’s. I’ll bet there’s lost tribes in Amazon jungle who saw that ad.
that was the first time I ever did the @name thing. I felt a little weird and uncomfortable doing it. It doesn’t really make sense to me, but I did it anyway. I’m ashamed of myself and I’m never doing it again.
@BROOKE, don’t beat yourself up over it. I feel dirty. We need another update.
Fudgie the Whale?
At your participating Carvel ice cream store!
(No way can I type the sound of Tom Carvel’s voice.)
Family worked for a competing chocolate company, Nestle/Rountree was the evil empire!
I know it is not a Tv or Radio ad, but how about that shit head Charlotte, who calls and says ‘ Hey this is Charlotte for senior care’ would you not like to choke her?
Try watching this commercial and not get this stupid song stuck in your head.
John In Franklin says
Most of these are oldies but goodies ,,, can you name all 24 sponsors in 30 secs.. surely all of you old timers can,,,,,,,
“They’re grrrreat” –
“I’M LOVIN’ IT!”
“Can you hear me now?? Good!!”
“Snap! Crackle! Pop!”
“F-R-E-E- That spells Free to me”
“It;s Finger-lickin’ good”
“Let your fingers do the walking.
“Don’t leave home without it”
“When you say __________… you’ve said it all.”
“Put a Tiger in Your Tank.”
“M’m M’m Good!”
“Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don’t.”
“The quicker picker-upper.”
“A little dab’ll do ya.”
“It’s everywhere you want to be.”
“I’d walk a mile for a ______.”
“Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is.”
“Have a break. Have a ___-____.”
“Betcha can’t eat just one.”
“The milk chocolate melts in your mouth, not in your hand.”
“Good to the last drop.”
“When it rains, it pours!”
“It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.”
“Fly the friendly skies.”
Tess G. says
Here in North Georgia, there’s a furniture store whose owner looked sorta like Wolfman Jack. So all their signs and commercials said, “Ask for the Wolfman!” He died a few years ago and now his daughter runs the stores but we all still call it “Wolfman’s”
Stuart in Hong Kong says
local hamburger joint in Dallas run by a crazy guy, Harvey Goff, who would get robbed periodically and for the next week or so would work the cash register with a .45 pistol tucked into his pants:
“Goffs, quality you can taste”
Larry S in Baltimore says
As a kid growing up in the Baltimore area in the 60/70’s from a local dairy, Cloverland.
If you don’t own a cow call Cloverland now, North 9 2222!
Who gives you service on Saturdays at no extra charge?
(So Calif plumbing company)
FAD Furniture = Furniture and Appliance Discount F.A.D.
Bob in VA says
Back in the early 80s in Baltimore, Luby Chevrolet ran radio ads featuring a guy with an asian accent saying “I ROVE RUBY!” I kid you not. Baltimore does not have a big asian community.
I’m trying to piece together one of Jerry Rosenberg’s JGE commercials. Any assistance is welcome:
Hey Jerry, what’s the story?
Let’s say you want to buy a color TV, or a nice air conditioner to make your wife comfy. I can get it for you wholesale – because JGE is NOT open to the general public, only to union members and their families.* Just show your union or civil service card at the door, and you’re in!
So that’s the story Jerry?
That’s the sto—-rrrrr—yyy
* pronounced “fambulies”
From my decades-old recollection, that sounds just about right.