What word do you think I’m hollering here? Who the hell knows? One of my co-workers took the photo while I was getting ridiculous at one point. In any case, it was a fun time. We had a luxury suite, which was a new experience for me. Have you ever had the opportunity to do this? It’s basically an air-conditioned cube, directly behind home plate, with a full buffet and stocked refrigerator inside. They even had a TV in there with PlayStation. The photo above is taken outside the suite. There are maybe 12 seats out there in your own private sittin’ area. It was fantastic. Consider the team built.
Believe it or not, I’m meeting Steve and another guy we went to high school with for lunch today. So… once again I have limited time. What’s going on?! I go from giant sack o’ sadness to the busiest man in America, just like that? Anyway, I’m going to cover a few quick topics here, sprinkle some photos from the baseball game throughout, and see how it goes. Let’s get started, shall we?

Yesterday I was considering driving over the Flushing, NY to see the Reds play the Mets next Wednesday, but have pretty much abandoned that plan by now. My phone says it takes nearly three hours to get there. How? It’s about an hour longer than going to NYC? I don’t understand. Traffic? I don’t know, but don’t like the sound of it. So, fukkit.
But it would’ve been an opportunity to visit another MLB ballpark. Almost all the ones I’ve been to have been torn down by now. Here they are:

Riverfront Stadium, Cincinnati GONE
Three Rivers Stadium, Pittsburgh GONE
Veteran’s Stadium, Philadelphia GONE
Fulton County Stadium, Atlanta GONE
Yankee Stadium, NYC A DIFFERENT VERSION
Candlestick Park, San Francisco GONE
Fenway Park, Boston STILL IN OPERATION
Progressive Field, Cleveland STILL IN OPERATION
Dodger Stadium, Los Angeles STILL IN OPERATION
I don’t even know what the Mets stadium is called. Citi Field, or some shit? Not sure. But I guess I’m not going to do it. Too bad. Unless… I mention it at lunch today and Steve’s up for it? Stay tuned.
How many baseball stadiums have you visited? I need to up my game.
Speaking of NYC, the younger boy came home a few days ago and told us he bought a bus ticket to New York for Sunday. He’s been talking about going over there by himself; for some reason, he wanted to do it alone. He’s 19 and perfectly capable of such a thing, but I still went GULP when he told me. But I’d never stand in the way of reasonable adventure. Ya know?

And he went and returned with no problems. Went to a museum for a few hours, walked around Central Park, had lunch somewhere, and came back. Pretty cool day. He didn’t get too ambitious on this first outing, but will undoubtedly crank it up in the future. And, once again, I’ll go GULP.
However, as I pointed out to Toney… he was probably in more danger at the Scranton bus station than in Manhattan. That’s probably a fact.
Mike, one o’ my co-workers, bought a nearly regulation-sized batting helmet full of ice cream at the baseball game. The girl at the counter asked him how many spoons he wanted and he said, “Oh, just one.” I asked if they made him sign a waiver, but didn’t get a clear answer on it. He ate all of it in short order. On top of a couple of cocktails, I think, and plenty of buffet food. The man’s a genuine hero.
Speaking of gluttony, this tracker app I downloaded to my phone is a real eye-opener. Toney and I went to TGI Friday’s yesterday, and good God almighty! Now I know why that shit’s so good. We just got burgers, but they’re a bunker buster of calories. I couldn’t believe it. If nothing else, this thing makes you aware. There are definitely items I’m gonna navigate around in the future. Two weeks ago I wouldn’t have even thought about it. And, by the way, I lost three pounds last week. I don’t even feel like I did much — just stayed away from fast food and soda. Pretty cool. Only 300 more to go!
I want to point this out… my head is not perfectly round in that photo above. Right? And there’s no Mitch McConnell chin action going on, either. Just wanted to mention it. Sure, there are other problems… but let’s not talk about all that. Ahem.

I need to go now. I’ll leave you with a Question that was pondered at my job on Friday. A few of us were talking about the best and worst candy bars. In our opinions. For best I went with:
Snickers
Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup
Kit Kat
The last one was surprisingly controversial, but I stand by it. What are your Top 3? Tell us about it in the comments.
I couldn’t come up with a Bottom 3. Two came to mind that I don’t really like all that much. But will eat, sometimes anyway:
Heath
Butterfinger
The first one triggered a wave of outrage. But I don’t really like it. You can sue me if you want. I pointed out, and want to point it out here, that Take 5 is a solid candy bar and it’s relatively new. Amazing! How could something like that happen, at such a late date? I assumed everything had already been tried. Then comes Take 5, outta nowhere.
There are a few that I don’t know much about: Zagnut, Zero. Maybe all the Z bars? I’m not qualified to comment on them.
Give us what you got on this, and I’m going to Cracker Barrel. Sheesh. I’m sure that’ll be another bunker buster. Oh well.
See you guys again on Thursday!
Now playing in the bunker
Support us by doing your shopping on Amazon! In Canada? Here’s your link. Thank you, guys!
Worst:
Payday. It’s like a turd coated in salty peanuts.
My payday is like that, too.
Yankee Stadium pre 1973 gone
Yankee Stadium 1976-2007 gone
Yankee Stadium present
Veterans Stadium gone
Citizens Bank Park present
Three Rivers Stadium gone
Busch Stadium gone
Fenway Park present
Camden Yards present
Citi Field present
Shea Stadium gone
Olympic Stadium (still there but the Expos are gone)
I saw two Pirate games at Three Rivers back in the 1990s. That has been it for me so far.
Only Riverfront Stadium for me.
Top 3 candy bars:
100 Grand
Special Dark
Zero
Bottom 3:
Mounds
Almond Joy
Anything else that has horrible coconut in it.
Only been to the Phillies stadium 4 or 5 times (Citizen’s Bank Park I guess it’s called). Strange sport, I can see why it didn’t catch on globally. Like the food options at the stadium, don’t like the $12 beers.
I seldom eat candy bars, but I did have one it would be a Snickers.
Picture: Looks like you might have accidentally sat on that ‘batting helmet full of ice cream!’
The place where I work also has a suite. It’s a lot of fun–and no crowds to deal with. We sometimes go there to see the Columbus Clippers play (AAA for the Indians).
Top 3 Candy Bars:
Reese’s Nutrageous
Take 5
Hershey’s Gold (it’s still fairly new, I think)
Bottom of the Heap:
Nestle Crunch
Almond Joy
Zagnut–And I’m talking about the ‘redesigned’ ones, here. The original would be up in the top bunch. They did something strange with the innards of it, and I’m not a fan! Just because I’m fat doesn’t mean I don’t have a discriminating palate–especially when candy is involved!
Cincinnati – Riverfront Stadium
Cincinnati – Great American Ballpark
St. Louis – old Busch Stadium
St. Louis – new Busch Stadium
Chicago – Wrigley Field
Chicago – Guaranteed Rate Field (White Sox)
Denver – Coors Field
San Francisco – AT&T Park
Have been to a few games in Cincinnati over the last couple years and it took me a while to realize whay it was boring to watch a game there: Virtually zero organ and/or other music between pitches etc. Batter get walk up music and that’s it. Very sterile and dull which is a shame because tickets are cheap especially with their Sunday deals, and it’s easy to get to and park at. Such a small change and damn less expensive than fielding a better team.
Candy bars: Kit Kats dominate. Snickers and Peanut M&Ms close behind.
Only 3: Riverfront, Busch Stadium & The Astrodome
Best candy: Zagnut (a Clark bar that’s covered with toasted coconut instead of chocolate), 3 Musketeers (I almost always get a head rush from the whipped nougat) & Mallo Cup.
Worst – there are none
I’m a Whatchamacallit guy. Always have been. My second favorite would probably be a Milky way.
“Boolshit” Is that what you’re yelling?
Baseball Stadiums:
–Tiger Stadium (gone)
–Comerica Park
–Olympic Stadium (but only as part of a tour on a class trip to Montreal; the Expos were on the road)
Best Candy:
–Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups
–Kit Kat
–Hershey’s Symphony Bar with Almond and Toffee (the old-timer keeps these around for blood sugar emergencies. They’re shockingly good.)
Worst Candy:
–Chuckles
–Necco Wafers
–Mallo Cups (these were a childhood favorite, they haven’t held up)
Texas- Arlington Stadium (Gone)
Texas- The Ballpark in Arlington/Ameriquest/Globe Life (on a countdown- new field to open in 2020)
Houston- Astrodome (Gone)
Houston- Enron/MinuteMaid
Seattle- Kingdome (Gone)
Kansas City- Kaufmann
Chicago Cubs- Wrigley
Oakland- O.Co (Going away? Rumors abound…)
New York Mets- CitiField (saw two innings of Yankees-Mets, but I was there)
Colorado- Coors Field
Top 3:
Milky Way
Mounds
Snickers
Top 3…Milky Way, Milky Way, and Milky Way…
I’ve only been to one MLB stadium: Turner Field.
Top 3 candy bars:
Almond Joy
Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups (actually, the “eggs” at Easter are the absolute best-of-the-best)
Baby Ruth
Those are all quite different, aren’t they? The only thing they have in common is the chocolate exterior. Huh. I must have a well-rounded palate.
Bottom candy bars:
Anything with marshmallow in it. Yechh!!
Top 3:
Kit Kat
Coffee Crisp
Bounty
Bottom:
Big Turk – what the hell is that thing and why do they still make it?
Snickers
Reese’s PB Cup
3 Musketeers
Bottom 3:
Any 3 bars with coconut
Shea Stadium
Yankee Stadium in its late 1960s incarnation
Wrigley Field
— 40 year hiatus —
Nationals Park
I’m disappointed that Nationals Park has no organ player – it’s all prerecorded – but maybe that’s the new normal in baseball.
A couple of years ago a friend scored some luxury tickets. We were in the 4th row back from the field, at the home plate end of the home dugout. These tickets also gave us access to the so-called Diamond Club, which has such amenities as an “open bar” and a “prime rib station.” It was pretty sweet.
Baseball parks
Tiger Stadium (old) gone
Cleveland Municipal gone
Cooper stadium (Columbus) gone
Candy
Top 3
Kit Kat dark
Twix (left only, right sucks)
Mr Goodbar
Bottom 3
3 Musketeers
Bit O’ Honey
Cadbury Eggs
Ball Parks:
Old Yankee Stadium (1971)
Fenway Park
Seattle Kingdome (GONE)
Wrigley Field
Old Comiskey Park (GONE)
Great American Ballpark
Terrible Candy Bars:
PayDay
100 Grand
Great Candy Bars:
Heath (sorry, Jeff)
KitKat (especially the green tea ones from Japan)
I hardly eat candy bars…I don’t have a top 3 but…here are 3 thoughts on the subject.
I like Mars bars solely based on MASH’s Klinger being the spokesperson. “Go get your Mars bar”. Can’t eat one without seeing his 5 O’clock shadow. That’s semiotics at work.
I hate 3 musketeers because…fluffy nougat.
In 1974 I lost an open and unwrapped Marathon bar (braid?) in the crack between the seat and seat back in the rear of my dads 1972 Thunderbird.
I found and ate it in 1975.
That could be a documentary on Netflix.
1) Tris Speaker, Pete Rose, Stan Musial.
2) Was there a question about kids’ candy?
3) Nicely writ, Justine.
jtb
Cleveland Municipal (gone) & The Jake – Cleveland
Riverfront (Gone) & GABP – Cincinnati
Kingdome (Gone) – Seattle
Candlestick Park (Gone) – San Francisco
Oakland Alameda Coliseum – Oakland
The Murph – San Diego
Wrigley Stadium, Comiskey Park (Old-Gone) & Comiskey Park (New) – Chicago
Bush Stadium (Gone, now loft apartments), Victory Field – Indianapolis
TInker Field (Gone) – Orlando
Aloha Stadium (Football only now) – Halawa
TicketReturn.com Field (Formerly Coastal Federal Field and BB&T Coastal Field) – Myrtle Beach
Met Park (Gone) & Harbor Park- Norfolk
Bowman Field – Williamsport
U.C. Health Stadium – Florence
The whole .com naming trend is just plain fucking stupid.
Top 3
Baby Ruth
Mounds
Zero
Bottom 3
Krackle
Hershey Milk Chocolate Bar
3 Musketeers
I like peanut butter, I like chocolate, but together? A Reece’s Cup is a cloying mess, I need a glass of water just thinking about one. And I had no idea so many people hated coconut.
Limey, chow down with a knife and fork like your people taught the rest of the world to do.
WVSRSR: This represents sampling bias – coconut is yummy: Git yourself a buncha coconuts, a backout punch, a little rum, and a cupla dozen women, and you got yourself the start of a party. If you’re a straight woman, omit the backout punch.
jtb
John, to be honest I prefer my coconut desecrated and enrobed in chocolate. If I ate candy bars I’d have a Mounds from time to time. My grandfather worked for Mars, I think I hit my lifetime quota of candy bars at an early age!
My grandfather was a master brick mason, but began as an apprentice mixing mortar in Hurlford, which is just east of Kilmarnock, which you might know is just down the M77 from Glasgow. Of course, it wasn’t then . . . just a few wagon paths. So you got all the candy you could eat and I got a couple o bricks. Nonetheless, I’d trade most of what I have for an hour with that lovely tough old Gaelic gentleman.
John
Prototype candy bars vs. bricks, I think I got the better deal 🙂
I am also surprised by the amount of coconut haters. This is one of my favorite things, as well as pickles and pumpkin beer. So I just try to keep these thoughts to myself.
Been to the Jake in Cleveland. Nice park. PNC in Pittsburgh is voted in the top 5 every year. For good reason the view can’t be beat. The team on the other hand……
Mr Goodbar
Reese’s Cup
Good old Hershey’s Kisses.
Bad anything fucking Peppermint!!
My comment disappeared. Anyway – candy bars:
Milky Way Dark
Dove Dark
Kit Kat Dark
Worst: Anything put out by Nestle. That stuff got very waxy tasting.
been to Shea Stadium and the old and new Yankee Stadium.
I think Jeff is yelling WAAAAAALLLK
Now I think that’s Hershey’s chocolate product. It tastes like wax and vomit aftertaste combined. Truly awful. They even manage to mess up foreign bars they make under license!
You had a bong photo shopped out, didn’t you?
Best Candy
Baby Ruth
Snickers
Hersey almond bar
Worst
Whatchamacallit
Mault balls
Mounds
I’ve never been to a baseball stadium. I don’t care for baseball. I swear I’m not a Communist or anything, I’m just not into watching sports. I do indulge in college football, but more as cultural experience. I’m a Southern woman, it’s just something you have to do, like make cornbread and drink sweet tea.
Best candy Bars? That varies depending on my mood, but I love Snickers, Almond Joy, and 100 Grand. I LOVE Curly Wurly bars but they aren’t easy to find.
Worst:
Milky Way
Three Musketeers
Whoppers