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Terrifying Twenty: the Santa Claus Edition

December 24, 2017 By Jeff 33 Comments

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Comments

  1. Not Oprah says

    December 24, 2017 at 4:13 pm

    Thanks Jeff ( I will not sleep tonight) – Happiest Holidays to you and your family!!!

    Reply
  2. Joe T. says

    December 24, 2017 at 4:19 pm

    A Christmas treasure.

    Reply
  3. Ginger says

    December 24, 2017 at 4:31 pm

    These are the WORST! Merry Christmas!

    Reply
  4. A Different Jeff says

    December 24, 2017 at 6:03 pm

    Yikes … Looks more like the Ghost of Christmas Aghast!

    Reply
  5. Sidney says

    December 24, 2017 at 6:14 pm

    I’m sending these to my mom…

    Reply
  6. Reefie says

    December 24, 2017 at 6:26 pm

    Until now, I never realized there was such a thing as “white face”. I am rendered speechless! Merry Christmas to you and your family, Jeff.

    Reply
  7. chill says

    December 25, 2017 at 12:05 am

    Those are some creepy-ass Santas. Also, no handcuffs for Christmas until you’re 18. Sorry, I don’t make the rules.

    Reply
    • johnthebasket says

      December 25, 2017 at 3:59 am

      I think it’s OK if you’re BOTH under 18. At least I hope so. That and the statute of limitations are my sword and shield in this case.

      John

      Reply
  8. Basket O' Deplorables says

    December 25, 2017 at 9:09 am

    Merry Christmas. Sure feels good to be allowed to say that again.

    Reply
    • Wisey in Ttown says

      December 26, 2017 at 11:32 pm

      I agree!! Merry Christmas!

      Reply
  9. madz1962 says

    December 25, 2017 at 11:27 am

    The photo with Santa and the little girl on the donkey… dude has an uncanny resemblance to Billy Joel.

    Creepy pictures. No wonder those kids are crying.

    Merry Christmas surf reporters and to you, Jeff and the family.

    Reply
  10. johnthebasket says

    December 25, 2017 at 1:58 pm

    In an America where bigotry and distain are once again all the rage, it’s nice to both recall and anticipate a time when brotherhood and concern for the commonweal were/are paramount. Merry Christmas to all my fellow Reporters, and a special greeting to those who don’t report, but who keep reading this crap nonetheless. I understand the Bob Hope Christmas special was cancelled again this year. Hope you fine joy and comfort anyway.

    best holiday wishes,

    John

    Reply
    • johnthebasket says

      December 25, 2017 at 2:02 pm

      And merry christmas from Edwin Arlington Robinson . . .

      https://www.poets.org/poetsorg/poem/karma

      John

      Reply
      • AngryWhiteGuy says

        December 25, 2017 at 3:22 pm

        Holy shit….Richard Cory! Haven’t heard that name in awhile.

        Reply
        • chill says

          December 25, 2017 at 6:41 pm

          Poor old Richard. I had no idea that poem was so old. 120 years since it was written, 42 years since I did a school project that involved it. It was made into a folk song in, I think, the 1960s.

          Reply
          • AngryWhiteGuy says

            December 26, 2017 at 5:04 am

            Same here…school project. McCartney recorded it.

            Reply
            • johnthebasket says

              December 26, 2017 at 2:13 pm

              It was Paul Simon on Sounds of Silence.

              https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euuCiSY0qYs

              jtb

              Reply
              • AngryWhiteGuy says

                December 26, 2017 at 2:46 pm

                Never heard that one. I will check it out. Wings Over America had it.

                Reply
                • AngryWhiteGuy says

                  December 26, 2017 at 2:48 pm

                  Just saw it was S and G ten years earlier. I will listen after my night of debauchery tonite.

    • AngryWhiteGuy says

      December 25, 2017 at 3:20 pm

      Bob was six feet under the weather. I was really looking forward to seeing Charo.

      Reply
      • johnthebasket says

        December 27, 2017 at 2:05 am

        It might be useful to remember that when she was on “Chico and the Man”, Charo told Ed, “The problem with you is that you didn’t listen to opportunity’s knockers!”

        I’m not saying it IS useful. I’m saying it MIGHT be useful. It certainly didn’t help Xavier Cugat.

        Happy New Year and joyous Kwanzaa. Habari gani?

        in the season,

        John

        Reply
  11. Root 66 says

    December 27, 2017 at 4:45 pm

    Great Caesar’s Ghost! Those photos should have come with some kind of a warning or disclaimer. Dang, now I’ll have to sleep with the lights on for a while! I think I spied with my little eye a Grigori Rasputin, Marty Feldman and Jack Elam Santa Claus! I reckon those giant clown heads are there just as an added “bonus”. All we need now is a picture of the Burger King “King” to top it all off.

    Reply
  12. Clueless says

    December 30, 2017 at 9:43 am

    Damn, but it sure feels good to be allowed to say Happy New Year again.

    Reply
    • johnthebasket says

      December 30, 2017 at 11:21 am

      And Robert E. Lee’s birthday is only three weeks away. Also, unless I’m much mistaken, it’s just two days till white history month.

      John

      Reply
      • Clueless says

        December 30, 2017 at 1:41 pm

        Yeah, and I heard the trains should be running on time soon.

        Reply
        • johnthebasket says

          December 30, 2017 at 2:10 pm

          Fat chance. I read a little history, and I don’t know much, but in WW2 Italy I know Benito never got the trains to run faster, so the railroads changed the train schedules to reflect more closely when the trains were likely to arrive. The concept of descriptive schedules rather than prescriptive schedules has the virtue of being more likely to reflect reality.

          John

          Reply
          • Northern_Man says

            December 30, 2017 at 3:40 pm

            And our trains go off the tracks. Just sayin’.

            Reply
          • Clueless says

            December 30, 2017 at 4:06 pm

            I shouldn’t need to remind you that if only Il Duce had known words, had the best words, the results might have been different.

            Reply
            • johnthebasket says

              December 31, 2017 at 2:21 am

              I thought The Deuce knew many, many words because he went to a poison ivy league school. I swear I never saw a man with a smaller, well, vocabulary.

              But he doesn’t really know very, very much at all. Sad.

              John

              Reply
  13. Basket O' Deplorables says

    December 30, 2017 at 6:38 pm

    It is so cold I actually saw a Democrat with his hands in his own pockets!!

    Reply
  14. chill says

    December 30, 2017 at 9:59 pm

    Jeff, thanks for introducing the phrase “ham and white beans” into my vocabulary. Two weeks ago I had never heard of such a thing, but it sure sounded good. I made up a “recipe” and it’s simmering now. We’ll see how it goes.

    Reply
  15. Sidney says

    January 1, 2018 at 5:34 am

    Happy New Years all!

    Reply
  16. Kent says

    December 22, 2021 at 5:18 pm

    Nothing less than I expected, never disappoint!!!

    Reply

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