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Tell Us About Your Recent Victories

July 8, 2013 By Jeff 49 Comments

victoryBecause of the holiday, and the fact that half the population is coming off a four-day drunk, I’ve extended the cut-off for the new shirts until I get home from work tonight. It could be 3 a.m., it could be 4 a.m. Who the hell knows? But it’ll be the middle o’ the night sometime.

If you’d like one of the new shirts, order now. I’ll be removing the Paypal links soon. We’re in the final hours of this thing. Here’s your link.

And speaking of hours, I get to work twelve of them today. In addition, of course, to the 45 minute commute each way. I’m livin’ the dream, I tell ya… We had the option of coming in two hours early, or staying two hours late. I was planning to do the former, until I got out of bed. Clearly, it’s going to be the latter. Oh well.

The interstate is all jacked-up, and I’m now forced to take the turnpike to work. It costs me $2 in tolls, which irritates me a little. Not so much because of the cost, but because I rarely have cash. So, it’s another logistical hurdle I have to cross.

On 81 they’re doing some boolshit work in the middle of the southbound lanes. So, the left lane is diverted to the left, and the right is diverted to the right. Then, a hundred yards later… they come back together. This causes mass confusion, and huge delays. People think they’re getting off the interstate, or something. But they’re really just going slightly to the left or right for a few yards. Grrr…

So, I get to be reacquainted with the luxurious Pennsylvania Turnpike. And, of course, the ATM at Sheetz.

Toney started a new job today, and it seems to be a pretty good one. She went on three interviews, and REALLY wanted it. When the offer finally came through, we celebrated with a rare restaurant dinner, and a non-rare six-pack of Dogfish Head 60 Minute Ale.

The money is decent, the hours work for us, and it will hopefully make things a little easier around here. She was told today that over 400 people applied, and they chose 12. Wow. I would’ve never made it through such a gauntlet. They would’ve gotten a load of my questionable personality, and that would’ve been the end of the road for me.

I don’t want to jinx it, but we’ve had a few minor victories lately. I’m not accustomed to such things… Have you had any victories over the past few months? If so, please tell us about it. We need a little positive energy around here…

But, don’t worry. I have something exceedingly cynical chambered for tomorrow’s update.

And I’m gonna call it a day, my friends. I need to shovel down some high-sodium swill, and pass through a couple of toll booths. Don’t forget about the shirts! They’ll be gone soon. Also, if you haven’t had any recent victories, just tell us about your holiday weekend.

Have a great day.

I’ll see ya again tomorrow.

Now playing in the bunker
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Comments

  1. Dogberry says

    July 8, 2013 at 1:50 pm

    Victories . . . victories . . . let’s see now. Hmm. Lemme think. Victories. Umm. My pulled pork cooked faster than I expected.

    Yep, that’s all I’ve got.

    Reply
    • clintcurtis says

      July 11, 2013 at 3:12 pm

      Do you remember when, as a Catholic, “pulled pork” would get you an express ticket to hell?

      Reply
  2. Limey says

    July 8, 2013 at 2:14 pm

    EZPass good god. You get a discount and you don’t have to wait in lines. Plus you don’t have to interact with the lowlifes who dwell in toll booths.

    Reply
    • chill says

      July 9, 2013 at 7:04 am

      And check the highway departments of neighboring states to see if they don’t have lower (or no) fees, minima, etc.
      .

      Reply
  3. sunshine_in_va says

    July 8, 2013 at 2:27 pm

    Funeral for Mom on Friday. She was 84. My five brothers and I (and my one sister) then spent part of Saturday going through some of my Mom’s stuff (51 years in this house) to get an idea of what to keep, what to pitch, who wanted what…. Those of you who’ve been through something similar know what a nightmare that was: part exhilaration – like it was a scavenger hunt – and part dread – like we were plundering.

    Yeah – the 4th of July holiday will never be the same.

    Reply
    • madz1962 says

      July 8, 2013 at 2:34 pm

      So very, very sorry, sunshine. Here – have a hug.

      Funny, I spent Saturday visiting my bedridden mother. She’s 81.

      Here’s to the mothers! Cheers.

      Reply
    • Greg says

      July 8, 2013 at 3:43 pm

      Sorry about your Mom, sunshine. Hope you get through everything OK.

      Reply
    • chill says

      July 8, 2013 at 5:42 pm

      Very sorry, sunshine. I’m dreading that day.
      .

      Reply
    • bikerchick says

      July 8, 2013 at 5:50 pm

      I’m sorry for your loss, sunshine. Been there….. It’s not an easy job, that’s for sure. It’s a walk down memory lane with lots of laughs mixed with tears. I hope you’ll have brighter days soon. Xo

      Reply
    • Skippy says

      July 8, 2013 at 7:11 pm

      So sorry for your loss sunshine.

      Reply
    • Linda Scott says

      July 8, 2013 at 7:16 pm

      I’m so sorry, Sunshine. I’ve been there and it’s heartbreaking. It’s the real definition of bittersweet. Sad memories with the occasional laughter.

      Reply
  4. sluggy says

    July 8, 2013 at 2:56 pm

    My condolences Sunshine. We went through this with my oldest brother a few years back and he was a major hoarder type.
    Then we found his storage unit with bicycles stacked 8 ft. high. He bought them at police auctions for parts to make new bikes out of to sell.
    What. A. Nightmare.

    Reply
  5. bikerchick says

    July 8, 2013 at 3:31 pm

    Turning the BIG 5-0 TODAY!!

    Reply
    • Greg says

      July 8, 2013 at 3:41 pm

      Happy Birthday, biker! Have a good one! I wish could remember that one. It’s WAAAAY in the past!

      Reply
      • madz1962 says

        July 8, 2013 at 4:02 pm

        YAHOOOOOOOOO! Party at the chick’s house!

        Happy Happy Birthday my dear friend! Here’s a birthday hug for you!

        Break out the champagne and cake!

        Oh, and for the men, the FMPs! Red.

        Reply
    • Dogberry says

      July 8, 2013 at 4:45 pm

      Well, happy birthday. That’s a victory of sorts, isn’t it?

      Reply
      • bikerchick says

        July 8, 2013 at 5:51 pm

        It sure is! Thanks everyone!

        Reply
        • johnthebasket says

          July 8, 2013 at 6:18 pm

          Happy Birthday, bikerchick. It’s that time of life to cut back on the bar fights and ramp up the drinkin’.

          jtb

          Reply
          • BoMama says

            July 8, 2013 at 6:41 pm

            Happiest Birthday BC! I
            Shall drink a toast in your honor tonight!

            Reply
    • Linda Scott says

      July 8, 2013 at 7:18 pm

      Happy birthday, BC! Just try to not think about the fact that you’re in your 6th decade of life. That will sure put the kibosh on any birthday happiness! I’ve been there! By the way, do you ride bicycles or motorcycles?

      Reply
      • chill says

        July 8, 2013 at 7:22 pm

        I would phrase that as “Harleys or motorcycles?” …if I were looking to get dick-punched.
        .

        Reply
    • Gretchen says

      July 9, 2013 at 10:16 am

      Happy belated birthday, Bikerchick!

      Reply
    • Bill in WV says

      July 9, 2013 at 10:49 am

      Happy Birfday Ms. Chick. I got there myself almost two months ago. It seems like a group of us regulars here are all about the same age.

      Hope you have a great birthday, other than the working shit.

      Enjoy !!

      Reply
      • bikerchick says

        July 9, 2013 at 1:19 pm

        Thanks too all for the bday wishes!! Xoxo

        Reply
  6. madz1962 says

    July 8, 2013 at 3:56 pm

    Having these last 4 days off was a mild victory. I almost feel refreshed. Except it was so goddamn hot, I didn’t want to do anything outside.

    Which brings me to the next kinda, sorta victory. After 17 years in this house, the owner is finally springing for some kind of A/C. Because it’s not our house, we couldn’t punch holes in the walls and the windows are these fucked up things that push out rather than up and down. We have been getting by with 1 A/C for the downtairs, rigged up with fans. The bedroom has a piece of shit portable that is on its last legs. I call this a kinda/sorta victory becaus eher eit is July and my husband and his boss are just in the “go get estimates” stage. Sweating my tits off during this massive 8 day heat wave and they’re still bullshitting around with how to proceed. Jesus. It’ll be November before they make a decision.

    Reply
    • chill says

      July 8, 2013 at 8:19 pm

      For what it’s worth, I got a good deal on air conditioning in December a couple of years ago. In the meantime, may I suggest a dehumidifier? Stay cool!
      .

      Reply
  7. Doug says

    July 8, 2013 at 4:21 pm

    I got out of bed this morning. That’s about as victorious as I can muster at the moment.

    Reply
  8. Kevindust says

    July 8, 2013 at 4:23 pm

    A sort of victory – my Mom bought two tickets to see Paul McCartney and decided to take me to the show! It was last night and it was amazing. I’ve been to a LOT of concerts and that was easily one of the best. Hearing Let it Be, Live and Let Die and Hey Jude all in a row, performed by the man who wrote the songs was incredible and inspiring. Kick-butt version of Helter Skelter too, that song is heavy! They played for three hours, pure awesome!

    Reply
  9. chill says

    July 8, 2013 at 5:41 pm

    Victory: I successfully made pho at home (haters gotta hate). Defeat: while straining the broth, it overflowed and I got a half inch of lovely, fatty, fragrant broth in a drawer full of utensils. Ended up just dumping the drawer contents into the dishwasher.
    .

    Reply
    • Max says

      July 9, 2013 at 1:04 pm

      How did it turn out? I’m a huge fan of pho so I might have to give it a shot.

      Did you follow a recipe?

      Reply
      • chill says

        July 9, 2013 at 7:10 pm

        I mostly followed Charles Phan’s recipe from his book “Vietnamese Home Cooking”, except for using larger quantities of the flavoring spices. It came out pretty good, actually. About all I would change next time will be to use less cinnamon. Phan calls for one stick, I used two; he’s right, I’m wrong.
        .

        Reply
  10. The 4th Stooge says

    July 8, 2013 at 5:50 pm

    I have to agree with Dogberry–my victory was getting up this morning. A major victory would indeed be getting a job, or at least a work at home job that would add a little money to the coffer. But at least I can say I don’t have children, a car, a house/apartment, or any serious bills. When I had a job, this was terribly sad that I didn’t have a car or an apartment…now, it’s pretty damn great. Having no children is always great–for me!

    Reply
  11. Linda Scott says

    July 8, 2013 at 7:24 pm

    Jeff, I can’t in good conscience buy a t-shirt that has a smoking fish on it. I’m too anti-smoking. But, I do have a victory! I’m working toward a bachelor’s degree by the time I’m 60 . I have approximately 500 credits to go. Sigh. But, I passed one of the hardest classes I’ve ever taken…Philosophy, Intro to Logic. It seemed remarkably illogical. But, I passed!!

    Reply
    • chill says

      July 8, 2013 at 8:24 pm

      When I went for my bachelor’s, the requirement was (something like) 128 credits, start to finish. And I’m anti-fish, but I bought the shirt anyway! Also all previous shirts that I knew about. Also, smoking is orthogonal to morality.
      .

      Reply
      • Linda Scott says

        July 8, 2013 at 8:29 pm

        Yeah, I probably exaggerated a little when I said 150 credits. But, it sure feels like that now! Yes, I agree that smoking is orthogonal to morality. But, to me, it’s almost like advertising smoking to have a cigarette in mouth of the fish. Don’t think that I don’t have a sense of humor…I do! But, that’s just one of my strong opinions.

        Reply
        • chill says

          July 8, 2013 at 8:49 pm

          Well… pop culture. We often see people depicted doing things, and it doesn’t necessarily imply endorsement of those things. I’d give a few examples, but mine are all hopelessly out of date. How about, “The fish is smoking so you don’t have to”. Smoked salmon for everyone.
          .

          Reply
        • johnthebasket says

          July 8, 2013 at 9:40 pm

          Of course you don’t have a sense of humor. Otherwise you might discern that NOBODY will smoke because they see a picture of a fish smoking. One of the essential elements of this site is to illuminate meaningless political correctness. Boycotting a pic of a fish because the fucker is smoking is both meaningless and vapid. I’m just saying.

          jtb

          Reply
          • johnthebasket says

            July 8, 2013 at 9:42 pm

            And the funniest people here — Chuck is a pretty good example — NEVER CLAIM to have a sense of humor. They just be funny.

            jtb

            Reply
            • johnthebasket says

              July 8, 2013 at 9:45 pm

              Playas gon’ play.

              Reply
  12. al says

    July 8, 2013 at 9:41 pm

    I pooped. Yay!

    Reply
  13. Linda Scott says

    July 8, 2013 at 9:44 pm

    Damn! It was really all meant as a joke. Something that I’ve enjoyed up to this point has now been tainted by insults. I’m far from vapid! Thanks!

    Reply
    • chill says

      July 8, 2013 at 10:25 pm

      I have seen no insults, and nobody assumes you’re stupid. If you were stupid you wouldn’t be at this site; QED. To some, “I am anti-smoking” could be read as “I want smoking to be outlawed”. In most cases, the two statements have been equivalent, and many on this site would read them as the same. In many jurisdictions smoking has been all but outlawed (I’m looking at you, NYC) and many people would love to see smoking vanish. But this is going to be a genereations-long project, not accomplished by Bloomberg legislation.

      This all makes me want a pizza from a coal-fired oven (while I still can) and an egg cream (while I still can). What will we tell our kids when they ask, “Dad, what was it like when…?”
      .

      Reply
      • johnthebasket says

        July 9, 2013 at 12:27 am

        Oh, for the Good Lord’s sake.

        1) When you say in very clear language that buying a WVSR shirt promotes smoking and describe your position as a “strong opinion”, you clearly aren’t vamping or joking: to the extent that others are influenced, you’re taking money out of Jeff’s already small income stream from this site.

        2) Nobody called you vapid. I asserted that a T-shirt boycott was vapid. One of your opinions doesn’t define you, as far as I know. I totally believe you’re far from vapid.

        3) That artwork and its predecessors have been a hallmark of this site for years, and the smoking fish continues to be the logo of Jeff’s publishing company, Smoking Fish Media. Insulting the fish is insulting Jeff, which is perfectly OK, but if you do so around here you should expect some pushback.

        4) I didn’t intend to insult your taint, and I’m genuinely sorry if I came down on you too hard. Jeff is a wonderful guy who has entertained the reporters for a long, long time, and I was perhaps a little overresponsive to the logo attack. I should have better taken into account that you’ve not commented much on this site and made it a nudge instead of a push.

        5) Reporters here really are hard on arbitrary political correctness. If you choose to attend a gay wedding, that’s your decision. If you suggest I should, we’re in arbitrary PC territory.

        6) Live and be well.

        jtb

        Reply
    • WB in OH says

      July 9, 2013 at 3:24 pm

      FWIW: I had to Google vapid.

      Reply
  14. Linda says

    July 9, 2013 at 10:03 am

    Linda Scott, It’s okay that you didn’t buy a shirt. Some people feel the need to moderate Jeff’s comments, but they don’t speak for anyone but themselves. Don’t even worry about it.

    Congratulations on your victory toward your degree.

    Reply
  15. Bill in WV says

    July 9, 2013 at 11:01 am

    Since I already got blasted for some of my ficticious comments regarding grocery stores and hoggettes, I won’t bother chiming in on the smoking fish debate.

    Reply
  16. weegleflip says

    July 9, 2013 at 3:33 pm

    I didn’t get chewed out at work for a couple days. Not sure this new job was a great idea. You’d think we were saving lives or something. This is a factory, people, not a trauma unit. Ahhh…better now…

    Reply
  17. uncle_rickles says

    July 9, 2013 at 7:34 pm

    meanwhile on my words with friends game, i just spelled naive and got the letters for vapid to replace them. victory!

    Reply
  18. Charlie says

    July 11, 2013 at 8:52 pm

    Dude, I just drive south on 81 and that boooolllllle shit in Hazelton down to one lane cost me an extra hour on top of a three hour trip. Feel your pain, and I also learned that Scranton Wilks-Barre is a cultural Mecca of PA, or that is want i was told by a Resident of SWB. can you confirm?

    Reply

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