I probably shouldn’t admit this, but I was so disgusted yesterday I was seriously considering shutting down this website, and starting over at a shiny, new URL. It’s crossed my mind before, but yesterday the roots were getting in there pretty deep.
Due to ignorance, I made a lot of fundamental mistakes when I started TheWVSR, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth. And I’m not even talking about the quality of the writing… For instance, I have to spell the address letter-by-letter, every time. “OK, ready? It’s T-H-E-W-V-S-R. No, V! Not B. Let’s start again…” That’s just one of a hundred things.
I feel better today, but am still mildly intrigued with the idea of starting over. And doing it right this time: making it less of an all-over-the-place personal journal of anger and whininess, and something a little more focused. It’ll probably never happen, but the idea appeals to me.
I know what the answer is going to be, but I’d like to get your thoughts on this, anyway. Please tell me what you think, in the comments section below.
And just to be clear, I’m not disgusted with the site, really. I’m just disgusted, in general. It feels like I haven’t received a scrap of good news, in years. (See? Whininess.) I’m feeling the urge to shake everything up. If you keep doing the same things, you’re likely to get the same results. Right?
Toney and I also look at real estate listings online, for various places in the south. We’ve zeroed in on two or three towns, and are planning to pull the plug on this Pennsylvania experiment the day our youngest leaves for college. Another reboot… There are others percolating inside my fevered brain, as well. Yesterday I put a goddamn pedometer on my Amazon wishlist… I’m big on reboots at the moment.
Have you ever thrown caution to the wind, and made some gigantic change to your life? Especially, later in life, when you had responsibilities? I’d like to read your stories. Please share.
And tomorrow I’ll post a real update. It feels like the dark cloud is starting to lift a bit. I’m confident I can be semi-funny by Thursday. We’ll see how it goes.
Thank you guys for coming here every day. I sincerely appreciate it.
See ya tomorrow.
Now playing in the bunker
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“There’s nothing to fear but fear itself”…Dammit! Then again, I’ve made big, “throwing caution to the wind” changes with no wife and/or kids in tow. The results have been mixed but it’s been a hell of a ride, so far. Would change very little.
I’ve thought about relocating but I’m too chicken shit. Or is it chickenshit, chicken-shit?
I believe it’s chicken shit. Because dog shit is two words. But I wouldn’t equate dog shit with being scared so maybe it is chickenshit.
No, chicken shit. Because I said so.
I bet a whirlwind visit from N&N would be just the thing to get you out of your funk! Seeing people more miserable than me seems to lift my spirits every time.
I’ve never been one to throw caution to the wind…Big life changes scare me as much as finding a clown under the bed! ๐
How’s this for a major reboot? In 2007 I was engaged to a pscyho hose beast and had just built a brand-new house with her in Ohio. Within 12 months I had gotten dis-engaged, picked up a new/old girlfriend, went to Iraq for 4 months, came back to the states and moved to Charlotte, dumped the new/old girlfriend, and finally started over completely clean, single, and living where I wanted to be. It was a crazy 12 months but 4 months after being in Charlotte I met my wife and now about to have our second sex trophy. Reboots can work I guess.
I met my own psycho hose beast (Let’s just call her Satan for short) in Oct ’96, married her in July ’97 (and she wasn’t even the first), moved to Korea in August, moved to Singapore in April, pregnant in May, back to the US in 2000, built a house, divorced in ’01, kept the house, remarried in July ’05, moved half way across the country in Sept ’05, built another house in Nov ’08, baby in Jan 09, second baby in Feb ’11.
I think my reboot button is stuck.
Most of you old timers know we picked up everything and moved to Italy from San Francisco in 2010. I was 48 and my husband 53. This was our ‘retirement’ plan, but the crash moved it up for us. I lost my job, he hated his, so we just said ‘fuggit’, sold the house, bought a two unit place in Tuscany and never looked back. We figured we’d give it 5 years, but they’ll be carrying me feet first out of this place. we couldn’t be happier. It was fucking terrifying, though – I’ll tell you that.
I would rather regret the things I did than the things I didn’t do. I think it was Lucille Ball that said that, and I couldn’t agree more.
That’s so friggin’ awesome.
I agree. It’s one thing to move to another state, but another country? I tip my hat to you!!!
So you gonna just up and quit whining. Then where does that leave those of us who have been vicariously whining through you for the last nine or ten years.
Thats what I’m worrying about too. Jeff provideds audible whinnage for us without a voice ๐
Oh, yes, I’ve thrown caution to the wind. I had a very bad night shift one night, and decided I was going to law school. I had never thought about being a lawyer. In fact, I worked at a law firm while in nursing school, and would insist that I would never go to law school. A few months after this spur-of-the-moment decision, I was sitting in a classroom wondering what the hell I’d been thinking. I finished, took the Bar, passed it, and went back to nursing. While in law school, I heard about travel nursing, and about two weeks later I was on the opposite side of the country, working in Bakersfield (the armpit of hell) desperately missing my husband. Travel nursing turned out to be a great decision, I did several assignments during summer breaks and after I graduated.
Don’t start over. You’ll lose all your SEO power (your major source of traffic no doubt).
Plus- who wants something focused? Your charm is not about focus.
I am ready for a major reboot. I hate my job and have been wanting a change for a while. I feel like I am at a crossroads. But I don’t want to do the same thing in a different place. I might as well stay here. I used to be able to give myself a pep talk to get through the week but its no longer working. When you’re practically in tears to and from work…it’s time to go. Its scary and unnerving to venture into something new. But sometimes you have to jump. I think I need to be pushed.
Oh….and I like things just the way they are around here. I look forward to this everyday…whiney or not. It’s shade on a hot day.
JK – Don’t go changin’
Relocating to another website wouldn’t be too hard.
You could set it up to automatically redirect people who still go to “THEWVSR.com” to the new domain.
All that other stuff is the hard part. You can be more focused on this domain just as you can the other, it simply takes the will to do so.
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The two majorist reboots i’ve had were when I quit working in Arizona and moved to Missouri.
The Army wouldn’t hire me on a s a civilian in Arizona, so i said screw it and went to Missouri to work as an Army civilian. I never worked with military police, an never taught people how to kill other people. I had no idea why I was even hired for the job. But I went and it turned out well. I got to travel around the world for a year, for work, and eventually transferred back to AZ in a position higher than what i was orignially looking for. now I am sort of, in a very indirect way, the boss of all the people who wouldn’t hire me before. w00t!!1!
—–
The latest reboot isn’t really a reboot as much as it is giving up. So it’s sort to fa pre-boot. about 6 months ago I gave up on finding many acres with trees and water. I decided to plant roots in South AZ and become Arizonan. So we built a house here and are moving in this week.
—–
The next big boot is retirement. As it stands, I am going to quit the comfortable life here when I’m 35. What will I do then, whatever I have to or want to depending on what I need.
Sure – I used to move every 4 or 5 years. But I was an alcoholic so that probably explains it. Remember: no matter where you go, there YOU are.
If you can’t get it together in one place, it won’t make any difference that the sun now shines in a different window.
For reason I don’t want to get into, we pull the plug on our cable at home and just went with the free, over-the-air, stuff. Being a TV addict, it was quite an adjustment.
I “stumbled” on this site around 2008, I believe, so I hadn’t read many of the archives. One day, with limited TV choices, I picked up my son’s tablet and began reading some of the archives. This turned into a bit of an obsession and I have gone all the way back to the beginning and have read every update in chronological order. As it stands, I am on July 2009 and don’t intend to stop until I get to the recent posts.
I have made several observations along the way. First, my wife is having a difficult time understanding me. I am referring to my bed as the dormancy platform, my children as the Secrets (fortunately, mine are not translucent), and have used “sweet sainted mother of ______” on several occasions.
The bottom line is this: I like it here. This is quite a community of strangeness. Also, I encourage everyone to go back and read those archives (perhaps not to my level of obsession, but at least read some). This site has come a long way from those early days and I imagine it continuing to grow.
I am always moving/changing my life, but I made my biggest change two weeks ago when I moved from the west coast to NYC. I saved up all the money from my seasonal job in Utah, packed my bags and found a room to rent. Sure, I was super nervous about finding work and money…but guess what? I start tomorrow at Whole Foods, and may have another job lined up. And my rent’s not half bad.
I pretty much found out, most recently over the past few days, that no matter where you are, you are still you. You might change the scenery, but if you are unhappy with your life, changing the background really isn’t going to help. I still have a ton of issues that I need to deal with, that despite being almost three thousand miles away, aren’t going away anytime soon. I just need to man up and face my demons, so that they can quit haunting me.
But Jeff…keep writing at this site. I love it, and it helps me get through the day. Your struggles seem very similar to mine, despite me being only twenty years old and having no children.
*sniff* *sniff*
Still smells like a mid-life crisis around the old bunker. I’m telling you from experience, Harleys, strippers and cocaine is the only remedy.
Jeff’s 50 right? Mid-life crisis might be being wildly, wildly optimistic. Beginning of the End crisis…?
Sorry ๐
Quit a job, abandoned a house, and went 6000 miles away chasing a girlie. She’s my wife now. That was bit of reboot that worked out OK.
Said wife and I simultaneously quit our soul-destroying jobs back in 2005 and now we work for ourselves. That was bit of a reboot too, that also worked out OK.
I KNOW part of my problem is that I’ll be 50 in July. I thought it would never bother me. But who am I kidding? It’s really working on me. I feel like I’ve “wished” my life away.
I’ve had a very difficult time with turning 40. I have a relatively happy marriage, a great kid, and finally a job I love (after crying on the way to work every day in my old job), but I still feel like I could have done more.
We’ve started looking at houses in Rhode Island and I think I found my dream house AND it just got reduced another $10,000. There were a few drawbacks so we’re going to take another look and Pro/Con a few things.
The major reboot I’m into right now is Improv. We just did a show on Saturday (only my second show) and one of the skits I did was where I had to make up a song on the spot and sing it. Live. To a room full of strangers. I forced myself to do that skit. My ass was making buttons the entire time, but I did it and got through it. And I think I have a voice akin to Phyllis Diller on bath salts so that made it even worse.
So you’re the one looking the other house in RI…..
Jeff, dont reboot the WVSR, its all the little foibles that make it what it is, and why we all love it…er and you of course, in a brotherly way!
As for personal reboots, I got er released from my old company 9 years ago, i decided I’d give it a go by starting my own company and shitting on the old one, which I did, but now it feels like another rut, but it’s MY rut! I’m not sure where I’m going with this so I’m just going..
I’ve lived in Norfolk/Va Bch area of VA, went to college in Baltimore, married and moved to NE New Jersey, then the Poconos in PA to here.
We’ve been in the WB/Scranton area for almost 14 years now and can’t wait to leave!
As soon as the youngest graduates high school next year or if he chooses to go to college in PA, we have to stay in PA but not necessarily here in the Armpit of Hell.
At any rate, Hubs is retiring in 3-5 years, depending on how much longer he can stand his company and their focus on being PC, diverse, saving the environment and other causes, while they should be doing “the work”.
At that point we will be hightailing it outta here for a state that doesn’t tax to death retiree income. Though we have no definite plan, it’s looking like Kentucky might be our next stop. Close to my daughter in Louisiana but you don’t quite need to grow gills to breath there in the Summer like in Louisiana.
I would LOVE to pack it in and live in Italy(maybe Sicily as Hubs family is from there)but I have reservations about adequate medical care there for my heart problems.
I also have no facility for learning languages so if Hubs dies there I’d have no one to talk to. lol
I decided to reboot back in 2005 after realizing I was about to be 25 and had no direction… went back to school to finish the eighth and last year of college… graduated into the beginning of a beautiful recession that ended up putting me in a private equity firm that specializes in distressed situations and now I run the place. Reboots can be a good thing if you know why you’re doing it. As for the site, though… don’t mess with a classic.
several reboots in my life
divorces
fired from jobs
last job was 22 yrs with satans daddy as my boss
but with my age and having beetis, not a lot windows open to me
but out of blue, crazy pop can picker upper along roadsides uncle goes nuts up,
here comes check to me with enough that if i manage carefully, i could retire at age 57, with company pension
so i did all paperwork, keeping retirement plans quiet, and wrote AMF DAY on calender at work
everyone kept bugging me for expanation.of amf day
on final day i gave them hint
walked in
handed my keys to boss
said”the A stands for ADIOS, u figgure rest out
turned around, walked out door
never been back
retirement is great, 10 ft rowboat,i refer to as my yacht, puttering around house repairs , travel, monthly do da day,
as in do da check come today?
cant be beat, i never knew how to be happy till then
so reboot,
i may notbe happy with your plans, if you drastically reboot, but i respect the fact that you have the right to
make yourself happy as you want to be
AMF day… brilliant.
You know why we like it here? Becuase it is what it is.
Hyla Brook
.
By June our brook’s run out of song and speed.
Sought for much after that, it will be found
Either to have gone groping underground
(And taken with it all the Hyla breed
That shouted in the mist a month ago,
Like ghost of sleigh bells in a ghost of snow)โ
Or flourished and come up in jewelweed,
Weak foliage that is blown upon and bent,
Even against the way its waters went.
Its bed is left a faded paper sheet
Of dead leaves stuck together by the heatโ
A brook to none but who remember long.
This as it will be seen is other far
Than with brooks taken otherwhere in song.
We love the things we love for what they are.
Robert Frost
I’m going back to the border where my affairs
My affairs ain’t abused
R. Dwight
.
The site is what it is. Though it may be small, it certainly has a loyal following. We don’t need a bunch of snapperheads coming ’round here making a mess of things anyways.
I lived in the Charleston, WV area for the first 42 years of my life. Got married, had a young’un, got divorced, then bought my first house. Cruised along that way for several years whilst raising my daughter.
Then a former boss of mine offered me a job in the Orlando area. The daughter was out of school and I was ready to live where the sun shined more than three days a year. So we packed up a Budget rental truck and moved to beyond to deep South. This was in 2005 when the economy was booming. We rented for 5 years (housing prices were way over-inflated), and when the market crashed I bought my second house for half of what is was valued in 2006. Been here 7 years now, and am enjoying my reboot.
In July of 2009 my husband suffered a serious burn and went on disability for several months. I had been out of work for over 2 years (as an accountant). While he was down, the bottom fell out of his industry (he is a motorcycle mechanic). He told me this was as good a time as ever to look into opening our own shop, so we did! We borrowed against one of our vintage cars and applied for a 10K credit card, maxed out both. We opened in October of 2009 – BEST THING WE EVER DID. Our business is booming, we are 2 weeks behind and booked 2 weeks in advance. We have paid off all of our personal bill AND the original $16k we started the business with. We are off weekends, we take 1, 3 day weekend a month, and have great customers with awesome referrals. Most days we love what we do, others we deal with it.
3 reboots in the past and one pending:
– Left Pittsburgh at 17 and went to Phoenix to attend college and live with my Uncle
– Moved to Central PA when first married for 2 years before moving back to Pittsburgh
– Moved to Central VA 12 years ago with Wife and 3 kids.
Every reboot was the right move.
Pending Reboot: The youngest is Jr in high school and once off to college we are moving (hopefully for one last time before rebooting/retring in 20 years).
Long time listener, first time caller. If you happen to come check out Savannah, I’ll give you the name of my sweet-ass bakery and buy you a cup of coffee, as a thanks for the entertainment. ๐
Actually Doug…I would welcome snapperheads, the webbed footed and harelips alike. We’re a pretty friendly, tolerant bunch around here and there is no need to make a reader/ commenter of Jeff’s writings feel unwelcome. A good old fashioned nut-punch in good humor is expected around here but nothing to the extreme of running off a “Cub Serf Reporter”. We all pushed the “Submit Comment” for the first time once. Jeff has the power to shut down someone who just doesn’t get it and is waaaaaaay outa line. I think Jeff’s just feeling kinda stagnate right now and looking for his next level with the WVSR. Whether or not a different URL is the answer…I don’t have a clue because I have no idea what a URL is.
***yep….I woke up in the middle of the night and knew I didn’t write stagnant. Crap!
Heck, maybe I’m the snapperhead around these parts, lol.
So far I’ve resisted asking, but what in the flying Sam Hill is a snapperhead?
.
Nah Doug…not at all man. I know what you mean and wasn’t ragging on you. Just want to make sure we keep the door open to all that care to enter because if they’re not here in the fist place…how can we tell them to go fuck themself?
When you know that you were meant for something more, and are capable but frozen in indecision, it can be intolerable. It can also make you intolerable to be around. I read a book called soloing by Harriet Rubin. I also took two classes at a community college. One used the textbook ‘what color is your parachute?’.
The other was titled ‘Dreamweaving’. I highly recommend external sources for providing the impetus for change. And don’t forget the most important resource, your spouse. If you have a decent marriage, that will be your best source of criticism and support. Because that is the one person who knows you better than yourself, and doesn’t feed into your self-doubt.
You’ve got the endurance thing down. Now all you need is the husltle to get it done.
“When you know that you were meant for something more, and are capable but frozen in indecision, it can be intolerable. It can also make you intolerable to be around.”… I can’t emphasize enough how true that statement is for me right now. Wow.
Keep this in mind:
In order to get your head above the clouds, you’ve got to stick your neck out.
I like the WVSR just fine the way it is, including the whining (if that’s what you want to call it). Besides, there was already one reboot… something about fat asses, eggplants and bowls of corn. One could even argue that the original site was itself a reboot of the paper zine.
Personally, my only real reboot was moving from Albany NY to Washington DC at age 28. I had a wife, no kids, a rental truck packed with all our shit, and no job lined up. It worked out for the most part; I miss the Capital District in some ways, but I’m glad to be out of there.
.
One other bonus of reinventing yourself…it sets a powerful example for your children.
I fear change.
Who moved my cheese?
Actually, I just re-booted.
Outside sales for a European specialty steel producer for 23 years. The first 20 years was a dream job, my manager was in Sweden and I would see him 2 days per year. I made my own schedule and nobody ever asked me where I was or where I am going tomorrow, complete independence.
Three years ago, European mill buys American mill and we inherit American MICRO-MANAGEMENT. My last day of employment was April 12. I am now self employed.
Last week, I made $6K commission as an independent rep. This week, did not make a dime and I don’t give a shit, my blood pressure is down about 100 points. Should have quit 3 years ago.
Wife and I now considering moving back to Wheeling, WV. Family all still there. $300K buys average house here and a mansion there. Property taxes $500 per month here, $100 per month there.
The BIG reboot (2012) got kick started after reading a quote from Joseph Campbell: “We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us”. and who knew? the life waiting was FAR better than the one I’d planned out!
I’m 65 and this is the first I’ve heard that I was supposed to have a life plan. I suppose it’s too late now…
Hey, I don’t come here everyday to “focus”!
OK , I will tell my reboot story one more time: I quit my life in Raleigh, NC back in 1998, and it was the best thing I have ever done for myself. There was nothing wrong with my life there, but I was not doing anything all that interesting or challenging there. I sublet an apt in the East Village for the summer and met my wife while I was there. I started a PhD program in the fall of 1998, married in 2000, and our boy was born in 2004. None of this would have happened if I stayed put in my so-called life in NC. Life is too short to get too comfortable with anything. Keep your eyes open for the next thing out there, or you are likely to stagnate. Focus inward. Improve.
Was in the military and rebooted too many times to count. I also rebooted five times in the last 20 years since getting out. Everyone so far has been the right decision.
The last one was to stay here the Cincy-tri-state area when my job moved. I hate my job now, but in 7 years I can retire at age 60 with full company retirement plus my own 401k etc. We figured I take one in the ass so that I don’t have to work until I’m 70. We will be selling it all and moving to someplace isolated when I drop my drawers, shit on my shared workspace and walk out of here.
It may be safer just to sit down and watch Lost In America.
I’ve hit the reboot button so many times I think it’s broken. I suppose eventually I’m just going to get the blue screen of death and that will be the end of that.
There’s a lot of people who think that the definition of insanity is: “Doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result.” That’s fucking bullshit. Look it up, the definition is nothing like that. What they’re calling “insanity” might be better described as “persistence”, which is a good thing. Is a baseball player who continues to swing the bat after he hasn’t had a hit in a while “insane”? No, fucking idiots. This site is a good thing. It works. The quirks along the way, charming.
I reset a lot. But I’m also a lunatic. I’d say do whatever works and don’t EVER seek my advice on ANYTHING, except for the definition of insanity, I’ve got you covered on that.
Hey kids, been a long time huh?
Since January , 2012 I have been working 90- 100 hours per week and have not had time to electronically mingle with my Surf Reporter friends. I know some of you have been concerned, so I am updating. Thanks for the emails and questions.
TILE BUSINESS
I worked for nearly a year laying tile with my asshole bro in law, until he decided that he needed the money for his down payment on a house rather than pay me. Fired me by text. What a chickenshit way out! Now, the fambly keeps us apart at fambly events in the worry that I may crush his skull on the pavement when I see him. The guy bought 600 dollar watched and ate steak and lobster every night for dinner with money that I earned for him. Then had no money to close on his house.. Fuck him! I will beat him down upon sight. Selfish dick!
I currently work at Sarasota Memorial hospital from 6 PM to 3 AM, and get home to Nokomis, FL at 3:45 AM. Have to be at my head chef job at 6 AM. Work there till 3 PM. Fun stuff at 51 years of age. Life is not fair.
Nokomis, FL
Moved from Sarasota to Nokomis, which is 99 percent+ white last fall. No crime. Connection? -hmmmm. So far away from every thing, but the stress is less. Have a huge house with a pool and a football field sized lawn to mow. Nokomis was Hiawatha’s grandmother. Did you know that?
DEATH OF A SAINT’
my mom died last week and had to fly to WV to go tho the funeral. However, the previous week, fake Dad called and told me she โwas goneโ. Called the funeral home and church and asked when the funeral was and they had no idea. Fake dad called me after contact from them and screamed at me hat she wasn’t dead. She had only gone to hospice. What a fucking dick! I made flight arrangements, and time off from my jobs and the deed had not transpired yet. Anyway she died last week and I had to go up there. Bad part- could not muster up a tear during the entire wake/ funeral process. Is that fucked up? Yes it is. Tried to make tie to see if I could visit the hot Blonde Goddess Tammie but time would not allow. Ate at the infamous Bob Evans where I used to work and saw a woman I dated 30 years ago. Now a nasty piglet. Sad. Life catches up with you..
POLITICS
I know Jeff doesn’t like to get into politics here, but why am I working so goddamn hard now. Wasn’t president Webster supposed to make it all better. Voting on a trend seems to not work huh? I long for the days of president Bill Blowjob, when my money stretched farther and paid $1.30 a gallom.
DUNBAR
Stayed at a hotel in Dunbar during Mom’s funeral process and that town has fucking turned to shit. As Jeff has said in the past, it was a good place to grow up, but it has been economically challenged. Went to a bar near the bowling alley and I was only whitey there that night, besides skanky barhop. Drove round town and saw dilapudated house that were once fine structures. Don’t know what happened. Somehow don’t care.
My sister, the McCarthy twins, (Bill from WV will get that) (big girl) needs to keep an eye on fake dad. Onl thing I ever saw that guy cook was a fried bologna sandwich. My mom babied his asshole self. I predict another trip up there within a year.
I had a few minutes today. Will check back in later. Will try to visit forum more often and post. I miss all you guys and girls. Peace be wit’ u.
Oh yeah, big change to life was moving back to this suckass state. Regret it every day
AWG
White Guy…
Very sorry to hear of the loss of your mom. Always a pleasure to hear from you. Write on a happier occasion when the opportunity presents itself.
best wishes,
John
Sorry for your loss, AWG. Especially the way it was handled. Life can suck, indeed.
I hope u find yourself back here often. Miss your humor! Xoxo
my condolances
wish you well in future
enjoyed when you would post here
Glad you dropped by, hope you can do it more often.
It’s good to hear from you, AWG, in spite of the circumstances. My condolences on your loss.
As for Florida being a “suckass state”, I was just reading about how a 16-year-old girl in Bartow, FL was arrested, hauled off in handcuffs and charged as an adult with a felony. Her crime was mixing some household chemicals in a soda bottle to make a puff of smoke – the very type of dumbassery that we all engaged in at that age.
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Holy shit. I once lived in the Sorrento East neighborhood of Nokomis (had no idea where that name came from) whilst attending Venice High. My aunt is a pharm tech at Sarasota Memorial.
AWG:
So sorry for the loss of your mother. That sucks no matter the age of either one of you. My own is in the hospital right now and it’s ripping my soul to shreds.
Check in more often. Good laughs here which are good for the soul.
xxx Madz
AWG – Even though you and I have never met, I knew your mother well. She was a wonderful person who treated my children and grandchildren like gold. She was always taking pictures and turning them into calendars and crafty thinhs. She had a wonderful singing voice and she will be greatly missed. Praying for you, my friend.
I’m 33 (soon to be 34) and have worked in local government for 6 years now. I’ve felt extremely stuck and haven’t known how to get out of it. Well, that was solved for me when two weeks ago I was promptly laid off. At first I sat around the house feeling sorry for myself, but then I realized this might just be what I needed to do my own thing.
A few months back my dad & I started throwing around an idea for a documentary (he is a documentarian already), but we weren’t taking it seriously because of my full-time job. Since I’ve been laid off we have gone full-bore into the film and will soon be launching a kickstarter account to raise funds. If all goes well we will be filming by September and I feel very good about it all. Sure, I could use the medical benefits of my old job, but I buy all my prescriptions from Canada anyways, so I’ll just keep that up with no problems.
Wish me luck, folks. I’ll either sink or swim (or float for a while) with this film, so I need all the vibes I can get. ๐
And, Jeff, do what your gut tells you. Just know that moving everything will probably end up being a huge hassle that will have your hand whipping through your hair in no time. It’s risky, but if you think it’s worth it, then do it. We’ll all still be behind you, no matter what.
That’s fantastic, Melissa! I hope only the best for you and your dad. It sounds very exciting!
Oh, if I could count the times I’ve restarted:
unsilentmajority.tripod.com
The Holywriter Livejournal
theholywriter.blogspot.com
parkersburgwv.blogspot.com
unsilentm..com
stevenadamswv.com
And now my current incarnation.
I did. Most of you know all about it. It couldn’t have gone worse if I had an electrified “make shit go worse” machine. I am still flailing about looking for answers, allies and a way back to the horrible, soul-sucking life I used to have.
Wow, it’s like old home week around here. Miss your comments!
hang in there, i’m pullin for ya
we’re all in this together
Guess I’ll add my tale of sorrow to the list. My husband, John spent most of the month of February in ICU with heart issues. Apparently, he had something going on with his ticker for a couple of years and kept it very well hidden from me.
We foolishly chose not to pay health insurance premiums on him a few years back after my spouse share went to about $1000–gambled that the fact that he had never been in the hospital, never had a cavity, never got sick would continue until retirement and blessed Medicare. He hasn’t worked a job since the early 90s that offered healthcare. Wrong. At 58 we’re now well and truly fucked. We have hospital and Doctor bills that are around what a nice European sports car would’ve cost and only headed up for the foreseeable future. He can no longer work. Social Security Administration is a bitch to deal with–I guess eventually that’ll happen. I’m tired of fucking with them. We don’t qualify for any indigent care because, of course, “I make too much money.” I have heard that so many times I could punch somebody.
Diagnosis: End Stage Congestive Heart Failure with A-Fib along with permanent kidney damage from the Cardiogenic Shock episode suffered at the beginning of the horror. His liver has apparently recovered sufficiently so that the shock damage is not an issue now. He wears an external defibrillator all the time, which I call his “zzztttttt bra.”
Fun times. I/we haven’t had any alcohol (or anything else I enjoy immensely) since February. He’s on a super low sodium diet and I cook everything from scratch–including bread. I can bake a bad ass loaf of sodium free bread or batch of buns now. Our whole life now is different. But he’s alive.
Whew, Vicki, I am so sorry to hear all of that. I know words don’t mean much, but please know that I hope something good will come your way soon. I also hope your husband has options available to him (surgery, perhaps?) that won’t bankrupt you guys, but will return him to better health. Defibs are no fun at all so I’m sure you both want him off that.
Good luck to you both. I’m thinking of you.
You have been missed, AWG.
Sorry to hear about your mom – my condolences.