Summer, as defined by school schedules, is starting to wind-down in the Upper Perogie Belt. As usual, we had a list of things we wanted to do while Toney and the boys had free time, and accomplished, well, a few of them.
To that end, we’re planning to spend the day in New York City on Friday. No specific purpose, we’re just going to submerge ourselves in the energy of the place. We do want to have lunch at a certain Chinese restaurant, but other than that… we’re just gonna see what happens.
And two weeks later, on another Friday, we’re going to return to Knoebels for the last hurrah. Somehow we’ve established an unwritten contract with the Secrets, whereby we’re required to visit Knoebels no fewer than two times each summer. And they’re threatening legal action.
We didn’t make it to my parents’ house in West Virginia. That’ll have to be pushed-back to Thanksgiving.
And we didn’t go to Philadelphia, yet again. Every summer we say we’re going to do all the historic stuff, like Independence Hall, etc. And every summer it doesn’t happen.
It’s because Philadelphia is a big hassle, I think. Spending a day there always seems like a good idea in the abstract, but when it gets down to actually doing it… nobody wants to deal with the aggravation. The insane traffic, the narrow one-way streets, paying some ex-con with a lazy-eye thirty dollars to park… It’s an easy thing to put off “until next time.”
You’d think NYC would be crazier, but it isn’t. We go to a park ‘n’ ride in New Jersey, and take a commuter bus to Port Authority, near Times Square. It’s simple, painless, and cheap. And those are three things I can get behind.
What about you guys? Any last-minute Hail Mary scrambles, before the indoctrination centers reopen?
For inspiration, here’s the original John Hughes article that inspired National Lampoon’s Vacation. And this is a recent piece he wrote about, you know, writing it.
And speaking of school… Toney reminded me of something that shocked us, simply shocked us, when we first moved here.
Every August the newspaper used to publish a school bus schedule, for every nearby district. They identified the exact location of every bus stop, the times buses would pick-up and drop-off – and the names and ages of every kid who would be using them.
They don’t do it anymore, and I should hope not. I hate to be the paranoid type, but it seemed like they were essentially handing pedophiles a menu.
“Let’s see… Today, I think I’ll go with a… Tyler. Yes, I believe I’ll try a Tyler!”
What do you think about that? If they’d been doing it while my kids were in school, I would’ve raised nine different hues of hell. Am I overreacting, and getting all Oprah-ed up? Or do you agree?
Even though “summer” is almost over, there’s still plenty of life left in summer. It’s going to be hot and humid, and underwear-windingly nasty for a couple more months. And I think my car air conditioner is losing the will to live.
I’ve noticed it taking a lot longer to cool-off recently, and can see dollar bills flying out of a wallet when I close my eyes. Yes, the thought of taking my car to the shop for an air conditioner “servicing” scares me. But I ain’t driving around with no A/C, dammit. That simply won’t do.
I’ve been hoping I can put it off until next summer, though. Everything still works, just not as well as it should. But I had a scare over the weekend. I was going to the grocery store, to pick up a can of beans (for Beans), and the A/C was nothing but a glorified fan. It was blowing air exactly the same temperature as the outside world.
I told Toney about it, and we made plans to bite the bullet and take it to the shop on my next day-off. But, it turned out to be a false alarm. Care to guess the problem? Yes, that’s correct, the air conditioner hadn’t completely shit the bed, it was turned off.
But please allow me to explain… I never turn it off, even in the dead of winter; I just adjust the temperature as needed. So it didn’t even occur to me to check it. Toney, however, had taken my car somewhere the day before, and she hits that A/C button like she’s playing a video game. It makes me crazy; she just can’t leave it alone: off, on, off, on… STOP, PLEASE STOP!
So, she’d been playing with it, and left it off. And I was about to take it to a repair shop, as a result. Man, talk about bending myself over a couch… Those guys would’ve gone wild on my ass.
“Hey Charlie, get this. That asshole out there thinks his air conditioner is broken, but it’s really just off. You want a piece of this action?”
So there you go: a summer-themed extravaganza for a Tuesday afternoon. What do you think of these shorter, but more frequent updates? Let me know. I’m still getting used to our new reality here, and appreciate your input.
I’ll see ya next time.
THIS JUST IN: An athlete on the Polish synchronized hammer throwing team just hiccupped. There have been three confirmed deaths and the number may rise.
FILM AT 11.
I’m with you on the bus schedule thing. I can’t believe that where I live, you can type a name into the sheriff’s tax page online and get where someone lives and what they drive. Brilliant.
Jeff, I agree with you. The only help pedophiles need is stepping into the electirc chair, in my humble opinion.
Son of Sam says
We have bus schedules but no names or ages. That shit ain’t right. I like the frequent updates keep them coming.
Bill in WV says
Me, bro and two buddies are heading to Bristol Motor Speedway in 9 days to stay drunk and watch a little bit of racing on the side. Hopefully, we’ll make it home alive.
The Qweezy Mark says
The Philly thing is easy enough if you just take the Vine St. (I-676) expressway and get off for 8th St. and head south for a few blocks and park it. You would then be VERY near most of the historic stuff. Otherwise just check in at the parking garage near the Convention Center (between Race and Arch Sts.). It’ll be a half mile (12-13 block) walk but even easier.
The Qweezy Mark says
Also, if you don’t need the air conditioning, leave it off. When it’s switched to on, in my car anyway, the compressor is on regardless of the temp it is set for. You don’t want to have to replace one of those. It’ll make a recharge seem like buying a tootsie-pop.
Overreacting, just like everyone else who falls for that ‘think of the children’ bullshit that’s turned this country into a nation of wuzzies.
Most abuse is done by someone the child knows.
UNITED WE COWER, VOTE REPUBLICAN!
i love more frequent updates! makes my work day so much better!!
Door Quad says
Shorter updates – check
More frequent updates – check
Reliable … never been Jeff’s thing anyway
I won’t say I love the new format – it looks too much like lots of other “blogs” out there on the interwebitudes. I really miss the Link o’ the Day, the bunker cam, and Charlie West.
Visiting the WVSR has always been an “experience” that said Jeff put a lot of effort into not only the story, but the whole package. We’re sorta missing some of that now and it makes me sad in a way.
I’m sure there are lots of things that make this easier for you now – and the stories are all top-notch but – something’s missing.
Joe T. says
A couple of days on the beach on Long Island this weekend. Then the long, cold wait until next Memorial Day.
I would be really, really pissed if there was a bus schedule like that with my kids name on it! I agree totally that it’s a pedophile menu.
I do like the more frequent updates. Pretty cool!
Remember that Toadies song, “Tyler,” about the pedophile sneaking into a house and taking off with the kid to Mexico?
That gave me the creeps.
Nothing to add, really, it just popped into my head when I read the WVSR today. Cool tune, though.
Great post! There is some rattlin’ coming from the engine of my new(er) car. I guess I’ll have to bite the bullet in the next couple of weeks. At least it’s still under warranty.
greg t says
I like the short more frequent updates. Gives me a bit more to look forward to. Still 1 1/2 months of boating left up here. IF the rain ever stops…
All this updating and what not is just freaking me out. After years (what 2-3 or so) of checking multiple times during the day just waiting for one, an update every time I check in is just wrong. I feel all off-kilter.
Mrs. L. Bangs says
Here in Richmond, on the local evening news channels for the first week of school parents send in photos of their child’s first day of the year.
So they put the child on the screen and the Newscaster says something along the lines of “Look how lovely Sarah Jones looked today for her 1st day of 6th Grade at Richmond Middle School” WTF?? Why not give the address of the school as well??
Shiny Rod says
Willie Williams says
Love the frequent updates, how easy it is to read but can’t still can’t wait for some of the old (bowl of corn, eggplant and Charley). Agree with Door Quad that it just seems kind of bloggy, just not as gritty looking.
I used to feel like I was 13 again and sneaking a peak at a Penthouse when I read it. Now I feel like I’m reading Men’s Journal, but it would take a lot more than that to get me to stop visiting
The shorter, but more frequent updates are fantastic. I always liked looking at the cam and the further evidence things though, and I think they’ve been out since we got here.
We’re going to the coast next week because that’s what you do in Alabama. But you don’t go to Alabama, you go to Florida.
We just had another baby on the 28th of July, so other than the coast we’re kinda pinned down for a while.
Shiny Rod says
Jeff Griswold, hum!
Qweezy Mark is right on the mark-new compressor for a 2000 Pontiac Trans-Am? $1200.00. NICE. And I keep my AC on all the time too, even in winter, because I am always hot….even in winter.
More frequent is always good, Jeff!! And you are definitely right about the bus schedules and kid’s names. That was insane!
I like the frequency, Jeff
But I kinda agree with Door Quad:
“Visiting the WVSR has always been an “experience” that said Jeff put a lot of effort into not only the story, but the whole package. We’re sorta missing some of that now and it makes me sad in a way.”
I didn’t realize it until he mentioned it.
Along the lines of your air conditioner button:
We recently purchased a brand new $1,200 clothes washer, a Bosch front loader.
After a few days, my wife announces that is stopped working and she had called the repairman, who was to arrive in the morning. She would be at work and I work at home, so I was to say put until he arrived. No UPS, no post office, no haircuts. Stay home.
The repairman walks straight up to the washer and turns the dial from “Cold” to “Off”, then back to “Cold” again, and the washer turns on. He said that my wife ran a load of laundry, opened the door, removed the clothing to the dryer, but did not re-set the dial to “Off” position. So, the washer did not know that it was supposed to start a new cycle. WTF? And, how did he know exactly what to do in a matter of two seconds?
Then he tells me that he gets calls for this same thing three or four times per week. Nearly everyone that buys one of these models forgets to turn the dial to “Off” position to re-set the washer in the beginning and that I should have read the instructions.
Of course, I got several days of teasing my wife about it making like she is some sort of electronic moron. All in good fun.
Wow-two updates in one day? Did I miss a night? Since I haven’t worked in a couple weeks and I’m all loaded up on pain pills, anything is possible. I kinda like the short, frequent updates. I welcome anything that can take my mind off the fact that I’m couchbound and TV sucks. Thanks, Jeff!
Happy (insert correct day here – I’m not sure anymore), Surfers!
Big Bear In OH says
Just a few short trips to PA to visit family…and the fun of buying a new car to replace the original “all purpose Jeep Cherokee” with a new “all purpose Jeep Cherokee Knockoff”
Dave the Other says
The Wind Channel
“All wind all the time and up to the minute reports wherever wind breaks.!”
Summer is highly overrated. I hate the heat and humidity. I usually work all summer (in an air conditioned office) and take vacation in September or October. This fall I’m planning on driving the Alaska Highway.
The new format is great! Much easier to read and I like the frequent updates.
As for summer – I agree with Good2go. It’s effin’ hot and all the crowds make it impossible to enjoy the beach/amusement park/movie theatre. Bring on the wooly hats and apple cider!
Daniel Cosgrove says
I check the WVSR every afternoon and lately have beein finding DAILY updates. Which just makes me happier then you could ever imagine. But then I get home every night around 11, and just for shits and giggles, check it again. And for several days in a row now, I have found another new WVSR at the 11 o’clock checking. It is amazing. Wonderful. Orgasmic. Jeff, two updates a day is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Graduating from school, pretty good. Having kids, pretty good. But two updates in a day? Perfect.
Overreacting? A nation of wuzzies?
The odds are probably ten times better of me hitting Mega Millions than some pedophile picking my kids name out of the paper.
But even those odds are COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE when it comes to my family.
Your not overreacting.
I vote for the “Jeff Kay and Kin” channel. Nossy, Sunshine,Nancy..the works.
I can understand, to a degree, why they published the names of the kids on the bus, and am sure that started back in the 60s. I can see if they sent the list only to the parents of the children who rode each particular bus, but still. I’d say that it would not have been overreacting if you had blown a gasket.
My car’s AC has been on the fritz for a few years now. I’ve had it recharged a couple of times, so that’s obviously not the problem. If a new working compressor is going to cost me $1200, I’ll do without, thank you very much.
drive to media,take the trolley to 69th st and get on the subway
A big NO to the naming kids in the paper. “Heythere Timmy!” says the naughty pedophile, “Wanna see my puppy?” Yeesh.
I bitched about the shorter updates on the last post. Go ME for being prescient. I do like the style of the page, but the shortness is tough to adjust to, me being used to it taking a a while to get through a post. I miss the random, the bowl of corn, the tumor guy, the loner…etc etc etc..
Then again, I’m old, and therefore hate having to get used to new things. My curmudgeon meter is set to ‘kill’ on this issue, it appears.
I agree with Door Quad as well….
Enjoy your trip to NYC but please don’t slowly walk 4 abreast on a sidewalk while staring up during rush hour… you might get run over by someone on their way home from work… just saying….
Pickles the Clown says
I need a bowl of corn!!! Please…