I saw something new in one of the vending machines at work last night. And electricity was in the air… It was the most exhilarating thing that’s happened around that place since LH got new seat covers and floor mats for her truck. Oh, this was big.
I was so excited, in fact, I snapped a photo of it and you can see it to the right. Lay’s Classic BLT chips! Man, that sounded great to me. I might have let loose with a tiny shriek.
But as I was walking toward my table (that’s right MY table), I started thinking… BLT is bacon, lettuce, and tomato. Lettuce flavored chips? There’s no way to achieve something like that, since lettuce doesn’t really taste like anything. It just adds color and texture, mostly.
So, I decided these things would probably just taste like bacon. Which is fine, of course. But if that turned out to be the case, the BLT title is a manipulation. They’re just trying to be sexy, or something. And within thirty seconds of the initial shriek, I’d already developed a chip on my shoulder about the whole questionable enterprise. A chip chip, to be completely accurate.
Then a horrible thought flashed through my mind: mayonnaise! Lots of misguided people like to use a hand trowel to spread half a jar of the devil’s condiment on BLTs. Oh, god! The oozing!! My lower jaw is retracting, just thinking about it. If these things tasted like mayonnaise, they were going straight into the garbage can. Funk dat.
So, within less than a minute I’d done a complete 180, and decided I’d wasted 75 cents. I was highly skeptical, and a little pissed off. Yes, I’m a bit tightly-wound. What of it?
A woman was sitting at an adjacent table, and I asked if she’d tried the BLT chips yet. Her face lit up, and she said, “Oh yeah! They’re really good.” But I wondered if she was a reliable agent. Maybe she’s one of those mayonnaise-eaters? It’s sometimes difficult to tell by looking.
Before I busted open the bag, I checked out the description on the back: “It all starts with farm-grown potatoes…” As opposed to the wild potatoes that grow in people’s front yards, and beside highways and whatnot? Farm-grown? Oh brother.
“Then our chefs add the delicious blend of bacon, ripe tomatoes, and cool lettuce flavors to our all natural seasonings for the classic taste of a fresh-made BLT.” Chefs? Don’t you mean scientists? I was happy to see no mention of Satan’s spread, though. It was a good sign.
Finally, the moment of truth had arrived. I pulled apart the top, and took out a chip. It was a little brownish in color, with green flecks on it. Lettuce flecks? It’s possible, which makes me happy for some reason.
I tried one, and it was pretty good. It didn’t taste like JUST bacon, they were clearly going for the full B, L, and T combination. And sometimes it tasted just like the sandwich, and other times it didn’t. I liked it, but couldn’t finish the whole bag. There was a thickness to it, which built-up in my mouth. I felt like I wanted to get a plastic fork and scrape it across my tongue. The inside of my mouth was coated.
It’s not a “sessioning” chip, that’s for sure. It’s more of a microbrew type offering. A little goes a long way.
I brought the rest of the bag home with me, and offered them to my kids. They ate two or three chips, and said they liked them. I told them to finish the bag, and they replied, “We’re good.” Which only confirmed my feelings on the subject.
Have you had the Lay’s BLT chips? If so, please tell us what you thought about them.
Also, I’d like to know the most bizarre or unusual chip you’ve encountered. Please use the comments link below. And if you have any suggestions for Lay’s on what their next offering should be, I’d like to know about those, as well.
And I’ll see you guys again tomorrow.
Have a great day!
Now playing in the bunker
Follow Jeff on Twitter and Facebook
Shrimp chips. Blech.
Utz has a crab flavor chip that ain’t too bad.
Yeah, I like the crab chips. Heck, almost anything tastes better with a little Old Bay on it.
The Utz crab chips have my vote as the best North American flavor
Tipsey, I second that vote. Goes well with about 18 beers.
Third. Love those. Such a unique flavor.
Fourth. Everything’s better with Old Bay. Ever tried it on popcorn?
I used to eat Shrimp Doritos in Korea
Wise Potato Chips from years ago had what they called “Ketchips”–Ketchup-flavored chips. They were NASTY!
First?
The “dirty” brand of potato chips is about all I’ll eat now. However, if someone breaks out a can of Pringles and some Helluva Good chip-dip, I WILL eat those as well. You can see, therefore, that I’m not too adventurous in this department. So I don’t want to see ANYTHING new in the chip world.
The bag should have read “Real farm grown potatos, with a hint of Bayer CropScience seasoning”.
I just checked on vending machine; no BLT chips. 🙁
Settled for a bag of Grippo’s BBQ, pretty solid choice.
No weird chip flavors to report, sorry.
Man I love the Grippo’s BBQ chips. If you stop by their place in Cincinnati you can buy boxes of the X-hot BBQ chips. They also sell them online if you don’t live close by.
http://www.grippos.com/pages/shop/itemdetail/82/
The seasoning in the jar is just what like they put on the chips..great for a rub when grilling.
I had some generic snack mix that I bought in Shanghai one night that was Pizza AND Wing flavored. At the same time… it wasn’t terrible but it wasn’t really that great either. Pretty sure I saw some seaweed, and shrimp flavored Pringles over in China too. They have all kinds of weird shit.
Lays has dill pickle chips that aren’t too bad for being an “odd” flavor.
I’m from the land of weird chips (crisps) – Hedgehog flavour anyone?
My wife (American) runs amok in the chip aisle in UK grocery stores, picking up some really weird flavors. I like the Pickled Onion ones myself. For a country so fond of junk food, the USA is very conservative with it’s chips.
Prior to the 2010 Soccer World Cup we were in the UK and the preeminent chip manufacturer had flavors for each country left in the tournament:
American Cheeseburger
Argentinean Flame Grilled Steak
Australian BBQ Kangaroo
Brazilian Salsa
Dutch Edam Cheese
English Roast Beef & Yorkshire Pudding
French Garlic Baguette
German Bratwurst Sausage
Irish Stew
Italian Spaghetti Bolognese
Japanese Teriyaki Chicken
Scottish Haggis
South African Sweet Chutney
Spanish Chicken Paella
Welsh Rarebit
No Mexican Whore Ass ???
The limited production run sold out before we arrived.
I swear there’s nowhere else in the world that information is avilable. I think those flavors are really cool. The sun never sets on British crisps. Thanks, Limey, and may the Games go smoothly.
jtb
Try and open that bag with your teeth.
Haggis flavored chips! I am so there! Well, not if it involves air travel.
.
What the hell is haggis? It doesn’t even sound good.
Shee innards or some such thing. I had it once in Scotland but that’s only because of the mass quantities of Scotch that was provided.
UGH!!! Jumpin’ Jimminey. How VILE!!!
Haggis is not good. Sheep heart and lungs and crap minced up with oats and things, stuffed into a (dead) sheep stomach and boiled.
It tastes like it should.
Faggots are good though 😉
http://failfun.com/wp-content/uploads/mrbrainsfaggots.jpg
Haggis is a proud member of the sausage family. Random sheep meats – yes, including lung – ground up and stuffed into a stomach (instead of small intestine, which is what we’re used to). Oatmeal is used as a filler. I’ve had the real thing, and it’s delicious. For the complete experience, you need neeps and tatties on the side.
.
One of Canada’s grocery chains has some weird store-brand chips:
Jamaican Jerk Chicken
Loads of Jalapeño Popper
Canadian Burger Flavour
Loads of Ketchup
Loads of Creamy Dill Pickle
Sicilian Lemon Chicken
Thick Cut Chipotle Ranch
Sweet Chili Thai
Thick Cut Ballpark Hot Dog
Barbecue Baby Back Ribs
Buffalo Wings and Blue Cheese
Szechwan
General Tao Chicken
There are buffalo wings and blue cheese chips in the U.S. and I can attest to their awesomeness.
Creamy dill pickle, on the other hand, sounds a little frightening.
When I was in kuwait there was a plethora of odd potato chips.
Parika
Chicken
“Char”
Curry
foot
Lamb spice
Celery
Crotch Rot
American (i think it tasted like Ranch)
Gravy (no ty[e of gravy, just “Gravy)
There were a few others, but I can’t remember now.
Oh I’m a purist. I only get the original Lays potato chips. if I’m in a strikingly jaunty mood, i may get the sour cream ones. But I don’t care for “flavored” chips. “BLT” would have me retching because I bet they use that liquid smoke for the bacon flavor. The smell of that alone could make me hurl.
But, on an interesting note, imagine these chips:
PB&J
Tuna Melt
Franks & Beans
Ham & Swiss
Philly Cheesesteak
sausage and Peppers
I used to put potato chips (Mike-Sell’s “Groovy” potato chips, to be exact) on my PB&J as a kid. Does that count? It was quite tasty!
Nacho Cheese Doritos would also find their way onto a PB&J as well. Mmmm…
What the deuce? Potato, let alone dorito, chips on a pb&j? Nacho cheese Doritos was a bad idea from the start. “Cool Ranch” was the best thing to ever happen to Doritos.
Yes, I’ve tried them. Pretty good but not full on “Jalapeno Kettle Chip” awesome. Would buy again. I am a full on chip addict so every bag is one serving regardless of size, but…I understand what you mean by a little goes a long way.
Oh, and regarding Further Evidence. I wonder if Joey Chestnut’s mom was a silent partner?
Watching the weiner get chopped into little bits gives me the “willies”!
You too, huh? Makes you wonder if they had a “Lorena Bobbett” special edition model!
It IS disturbing watching the weinie get macheted. So I guess giving your kids a smaller bite of weinie is a guarantee they won’t choke?! Damn, I wish I thought of this.
We quite a few Mexican folks at my high school. They all liked to open a bag of Fritos and dump a shit ton of Tapatio hot sauce in there and shake it up to coat the chips. Now (surprise, surprise) you can by Tapatio Fritos. And ya know what, they aren’t too bad.
There are lime flavoted Fritos in Mexico. Those things are pretty great!
Tried ’em. Liked ’em/ I’ve had the Lime flavored too, and liked them… best are the sea salt…
I don’t know if it was Lays or Wise that had Heinz Ketchup flavored chips around Christmas time. I thought that was strange. Original Lay’s are my absolute favorite. I can’t even have them in the house or I will eat the entire bag in one sitting. They are worthy of licking the inside of the bag for any crumb and salt leavins’. Then the next morning I’m so bloated from the salt , I have flies buzzing around me.
Lays has a Ketchup chip here in Canukistan. Yes, thats how its spelled.
Dill Pickle as well, which isn’t bad.
And Bacon chips have been around forever.
In Greece they have Oregano (which I love) and in Italy, we have paprika (which I don’t understand),
Happy Tuesday, Surfers!
Right now I have a bag of Lay’s Spicy Ketchup chips in my pantry. I think they’re delicious. My family….not so much.
What the hell is “spicy ketchup”? Heinz and Tobasco mixed? Tomatos in ANY form (except spaghetti and pizza sauces and chili) are an abomination of food.
@Jeff– ketchup/ catsup IS the devil’s concotion.
I was watching the Further Evidence link and my husband overheard it.
“Is that serious”
“Yeah, it’s an ad”
“Yeah, those hot dogs are dangerous. I think we lost a couple of kids on my block when I was a little”.
“HAHAHAHAHA”
“We’re raising a nation of pussies”
My thoughts EXACTLY. LMAO! if your kid can’t handle eating a hotdog, you have bigger problems than buying a Weenie slicer, I’m afraid.
Maybe I’m not understanding this whole weiner slicer thing. Correct me if I’m wrong but aren’t they the same “bite size” a child would take? Looks to me like they should call it The Weiner Gagger Slicer. But what do I know…I ain’t got no chillin’s anyhow.
To fill the void that’s resulted from the ban imposed by the all-knowing state legislature here in the People’s Republic of California (a law which was signed by Governor Terminator in 2004, but had an 8-year waiting period), I think Lay’s should introduce Foie Gras potato chips. ‘Cause nothing says deliciousness like the fatty liver of a force-fed goose. Or duck.
Just sayin’….
-Dude
Mmmmm….. I’d eat those, especially if I could get baby seal dip to go with them.
With a little spotted owl salsa.
And a little Bald Eagle omelette on the side.
Plain Wavy Lays dipped in mayonnaise are pretty good…or if you’re out of chips; then just the mayonnaise.
Ewwwwww!!!
Zapp’s Craw-taters. Crawfish flavored chips. I love them!
Those are amazing!! Everything Zapp’s does is good.
Holly, see my comment after yours. Zapp’s are kickass!
I totally love the crawtators! There are also some dill gatortators that are pretty good if you like dill. The voodoo ones are really good and by the admission on the back of the bag, came to fruition when several of their flavor blends came together in a forklift accident and ended up tasting yummy.
Damn, this is one of those days where the reporters are as funny as Jeff. Some very funny comments. I’d attempt to join in, but I remain in stunned silence since I discovered earlier today that 8675309 is a prime number.
Oh, Jenny.
jtb
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=axLRUszuu9I
They have mayonnaise-flavored chips in hell? Hot damn!
Don’t do bacon, so will give the BLT chips a pass. Route 11 Potato Chips makes a decent dill pickle flavor
Maybe not mayo but I’ll try Miracle Whip chips! I know that
will send some of you running and screaming into the night! 😀
That made my lower jaw retract.
Miracle Whip chips would work if the mayo chips ran out…
In spite all my years of constantly wearing a tee-shirt that said, “I HAVE THE MUNCHIES”, my snacks from bags have always been quite conservative. Pretzels, chips and occasional Frito’s.
Old Dutch salt and vinegar was pretty much my biggest stretch. Wouldn’t even do BBQ chips. I’m sure I wouldn’t have done crab chips but most likely would have considered trying Mexican Whore Ass.
And when I watched Mom happily slice up that weenie…I had a funny feeling in my stomach and missed a couple breaths. Jeeezh…Instead of properly teaching methods to have things of such dimensions in your mouth…they teach you to just cut the fucking thing up.
Since he did Lay’s potato chip commercials back in the day how about Buddy Hackett flavor?
For chip – I’m sorry, “crisp” – flavors, the Brits have a much richer variety than we on the western shore of the pond. Mmm, haggis.
I don’t normally do the weird stuff, but what passes for weird in the US tends to be trace amounts of artificial flavor plus loads of MSG, with end results like “BBQ” flavor. No thanks. Now if we had *truly* weird flavors, well, research would be indicated. As it is, I prefer the Utz extra dark or kettle-style, sometimes the odd Ruffle.
Dog Dicer is for people who don’t know how to use a… “knife”, I think it’s called.
.
this isn’t even remotely close to the topic at hand, but i had to share. jeff, you’ll love it:
http://www.mcall.com/news/breaking/mc-lynn-township-assault-over-beer-20120716,0,4509380.story
Zapp’s (Louisiana’s finest) had a Mardi Gras “Voodoo” chip in our work vending machine around that time this year. In Pittsburgh. Never saw them in this area before, and I snagged as many as I could before they were gone.Pretty damned good, and the description on the back of the bag said something about it being a mix of most/all of their flavors. I’d like to think that I could hex my – ahem – enemies as I was eating them. Zapp’s Cajun Crawtators are also too fucking good. With 18 beers. Only the little bar-sized bags.
Something about kettle cooked chips with ALL the flavors on them at once is just perfect with 12-18 beers on board.
When we were in London in 2009 we got Pringles Prawn Cocktail
I was thinking they would taste like prawns but they instead tasted like weak cocktail sauce
Cannot believe no one has mentioned the
Steak & Worcestershire Potato Chips
While I agree the BLT did 1UP it with “lettuce flavor”
A chip that tastes like steak? Yeah. Not bad!
I eat these:
http://nuts.com/snacks/fruit-veggie-chips/blue-potato-chips.html
They’re on the sweet side, but supposedly purple potatoes can help lower one’s blood pressure. And I need all the help I can get in that department.
My favorite are the Wavy Lays with a good french onion dip. I can “crush” a bag of chips and a container of dip in an hour. Crush-I learnt that from Sean Casey.
In keeping with the choking on weiners theme:
SAN FRANCISCO (CBS SF) – A man famous for having one of the largest penises on record told CBS San Francisco that he was recently frisked by TSA agents at San Francisco International Airport after they suspected he was hiding something in his pants.
New York native Jonah Falcon, 41, said that he was returning from a weekend in San Francisco on July 9 when he was delayed by TSA agents who became curious about the bulge in his pants.
“TSA didn’t know what to make of the massive bulge on my thigh. Even after I went through that body scanner that shows you naked,” Falcon wrote on his Twitter page.
“They asked me if that’s a growth – and i said no, that’s my dick,” he said in a phone interview with CBS SF.
Falcon said there was no immediate response to his answer from the TSA personnel. “I think they were more embarrased than I was,” he said in the CBS SF interview.
According to Wikipedia, Falcon’s penis is nearly 10 inches long when flaccid, and more than 13 inches long when erect – making it one of the largest ever recorded.
On his Facebook page he lists his favorite quote as, “Yes, it really is that big. See, you can fit more than three hands on it.”
Falcon said he said he was subjected to both a metal detector and a body scanner before being selected for additional screening. He said he was eventually released and allowed to catch his flight.
“Two hour delay…Fun trip home (sarcasm mode),” he tweeted at the time.
Falcon has worked as a gaming journalist and actor. He lists several television and film credits, and was featured in a 1999 HBO documentary profiling men with large penises.
OK, Ok, OK, I’ll look him up and see if it’s true. Sheesh – gotta do everything around here!
Quite the joy-stick! I heard this on the WDVE morning show yesterday. It was a pretty funny conversation. A three fister is no laughing matter! OW!
Came across this – kinda cool.
johnthebasket, I think you’ll enjoy this (and I heard Dylan is coming out with a new album! YES!)
http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/music-arts/iconic-album-art-locations-revealed-gallery-1.1116326
madz…
Very enjoyable. Being a Dylan enthusiast, I’m familiar with the Freewheelin’ cover with Suze Rotolo, the Highway 61 cover with Bob Neuwirth and the Subterranean Homesick Blues video with Allen Ginsberg and Neuwirth. But getting those and the other seven covers located in place and time is very cool.
Like many people in the provinces I romanticize the City, even though I’ve spent several weeks there and have seen many of the sad parts. And being a slight Holmes fanatic, I am quite capable of romaticizing London as well.
Thanks for finding this and sharing…
John
I read a website called “Overheard in New York” – check out this gem:
Guy to upset girl: I wasn’t saying it to be mean, ok? But it’s true: You really *do* look kind of like Bob Dylan.
–Outside New York Public Library
Wednesdays are tough, my friends. I’m not gonna make it today. Sorry.
DAMN!
I don’t like Wednesdays.
I want to shoot
The whole day down.
Yes…usually the first thing I say when I ge up on Wednesday is… “Whoa!”…
On our way to Jamboree in the Hills. No rain for the last 4 months. It’s pouring now. *heavy sigh*
Re: Further Evidence…Anybody that wants to psychobabble with me better be sitting on a goddam bar stool or it just ain’t happening. Whores and junkies know more about me than any one of those mind slimmers ever could. And if one of those bastards could explain to me with good reason, why Miles Davis shares a stamp with some French chick singer instead of Coltrane???!!!…I mean…that’s the kind of shit that keeps me wondering around all day muttering to myself.
***I only eat Lays Original Baked potato chips (really low salt!) or all natural blue corn tortilla chips
If we come up with the right flavor we could win a million.
http://www.fritolay.com/lays/index.html
Four words: President’s Choice Shrimp Chips. That shit was FOUL. They tasted so good while you ate them, but man, the second you stopped, here comes the involuntary contractions and vomit. I wonder how long those things stayed on the shelf.