I saw a headline somewhere that said only 19% of football fans wanted New England to win, and I know people hate them with the intensity of a thousand suns. So, I was pulling for New England. If they won, I knew it would cause the most emotional anguish, and that’s what I was craving. But, when it got right down to it, I didn’t give a shit one way or the other. It was enough to allow me to enjoy the game itself, though. It seemed to be a good game. Right?
The halftime show meant little to me. I don’t know any of those songs, and it sounded muffled and terrible. The whole thing reminded me of this old Dr. Pepper commercial, but with worse sound quality. Timberlake’s a good dancer, I’m sure. But it’s not something I’m looking for in my entertainment: dancing. Ya know? Not once have I left a concert and uttered the phrase, “And I thought the choreography was top-notch!” Both my grandfathers would be spinning like egg beaters inside Grandview Memorial Park.
And they referred to that as a Prince “hologram?” It was a bed sheet with somebody pointing an 8mm projector toward it. I watched porn films in the 1970s that way. Hologram! Hilarious. And they chose “I Would Die 4 U” as the song? The man’s freshly dead, which makes it a somewhat curious choice in my mind. Oh well. I wish they’d stuck with the Minneapolis music theme and offered up “holograms” of Husker Du and The Replacements as well. Paul Westerberg belting out a heartfelt rendition of “Gary’s Got A Boner” would’ve been just what the doctor ordered. A missed opportunity, for sure.
There was a commercial for Coke or Sprite maybe, featuring a woman with freakishly long legs gyrating in front of a brick wall or somesuch. That was weird enough to cause me to remember it, but I’m not sure about the specific product they were hawking. And one commercial actually caused me to chuckle slightly. It was people inside of a dome who went all Lord o’ the Flies at the end because the WiFi was down. That was funny. Was it for avocados? Weird. Since when do they run ads for produce? I’ve never seen a cucumber commercial or anything on carrots. Anyway, I thought it was fairly amusing. I don’t remember anything else. A lot of stuff about Tide? I was barely paying attention.
At one point the TV went black and silent for thirty seconds or so, and they just went back to the game with no explanation. Couldn’t they have charged like five million bucks for that? Or maybe somebody bought it and asked for nothingness? I’d like more information on what that was about.
There was a guy on the sidelines (I know nothing) holding a large laminated card. Here he is:
And again, I’m no expert, but I’m pretty sure I know what he was looking at:
Speaking of food, this wasn’t for the Super Bowl exactly, but I made up some kick-ass quesadillas yesterday. I cooked them individually in a big skillet, used an unreasonable (yum!) amount of cheese, rotisserie chicken, and grilled peppers and onions. And I had sour cream and salsa on the side. As I was making them, I put them in the oven at 200 degrees, to keep them warm, and served ’em up in a big pile, piping hot. It was great. I might not have a bowel movement until midday Wednesday, because of all that cheese. But we’ll see how it goes. Did you cook up anything special for “the big game?” We also had Bell’s Two Hearted Ale last night. Holy poopballs is that stuff good! What did you have in the food and beverage category?
And my final thought: I believe it’s time to ditch the Roman numerals. I don’t know what the L means, not really. I assume it means 50, but it’s not a knowledge I carry around with me on a daily basis. Once you get past V, X, and I it’s time to move on. I think they’ve painted themselves into a ridiculous corner with that crap. Right? The band Chicago made the same mistake. I’m not even sure why they’re numbering them at all. Why not just the 2018 Super Bowl? Is that too radical of a suggestion?
I’m done, my friends. I have to go to work now, and there’s a lot on the docket there. I’m not looking forward to it. At least I’m primed with cheese energy. I’ve got that going for me. …Hello?
Before I go, check this out. The Surf Report gets a nice mention in the same newspaper I used to deliver to homes as an ugly teenager. Pretty cool. Thank you, Mr. Steelhammer! Much appreciated.
I’ll see you guys again soon.
Have a great day.
Now playing in the bunker
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Surreal Killer says
Definitely a Waffle House menu there. Maybe that’s why they lost: When your defensive coordinator or whoever is so confident about the game’s outcome, that he’s already ordering his post-game meal from the sideline.
What if they would have covered ‘Let’s Go Crazy’ instead. The lyrics “Are we gonna let the elevator bring us down, oh, no let’s go” are are now kinda spooky due to the exact situation of his demise, doncha think?
Surreal Killer says
That never gets old for some reason.
I watched the Monk marathon. I don’t follow football either.
I left after halftime – fairly typical for me to stick it out through the big show and then scoot. I have questions about that kid in the top picture…could he possibly have been LESS invested in being on teevee? I think not.
We made Wordnerd’s famous onion souffle dip for the LII superbowel; it never disappoints. If you need something to counteract the Cheese Effect, that should do the trick. YUM.
I was kind of rooting for the Patriots but didn’t really have a strong allegiance to either team (see: leaving after halftime). Brady et al have enough ostentatious jewelry, let the other guys get a ring!
The Original Wordnerd says
Glad to know the dip lives on!
Wisey in Ttown says
How’s about the recipe so it can continue to live on with more of us?
Found it. https://wordnerd1.wordpress.com/2008/11/01/me-nablopomo-seriously/
…and it looks like there is a fair bit of commentariat overlap between there and here.
I don’t follow the sport but I did watch it yesterday since Philadelphia were in it, and I’m pleased the local team won.
I made basically the exact same joke during the game about Fatty McBeard ordering himself a Hungry Slam with grits and wheat toast.
I cooked a rack of lamb to eat during the game and it was very good. Since I’m abstaining on alcohol so far this year I enjoyed it with several exciting glasses of water. I have a case of Bells Two Hearted in the garage mocking me.
I honestly thought football fans would be into more, well, masculine, music than Justin Timberlake, but what do I know? Never judge a bunch tight pant wearing butt patters by the cover. I thought the half-time show was lame but it’s not my sort of thing.
Was the superbowl 2 years ago just “L”? Will it be “C”? Is there a combination of Roman numerals that makes a rude word we can look forward to?
Hey, since you’re an immigrant (We come from the land of the ice and snow from the midnight sun, where the hot springs flow), I can help you out on the “musical” interlude, even though I haven’t seen a minute of superbowl action since what was left of the The Who performed last year or the year before. Actually, although the players wear rather tight pants over about 50 pounds of pads, just like the lads who play your brand of rough and tumble “football”, the fans wear rather loose-fitting attire to accommodate the carbs and sodium they suck up while sitting on their asses. What the fans and players have in common, is that neither choose the halftime entertainment. This is known in America as a “corporate decision”, which usually means a thirty-something thin man or woman lip-synching to a backing track, which is a good thing because they’d be too winded from heebie-jeebie dancing across a gaudy stage festooned with blow-up animals to actually sing. There are exceptions (see above Who, The).
I’ll watch again when John Prine or Tom Waits or Bonnie Raitt or Buddy Guy perform . . . anybody who doesn’t dance and can sing and play without a backing track. Until then, I wouldn’t count on seeing any of the fine performers from the old country. We don’t like immigrants very much these days. Present company excluded.
Wisey in Ttown says
John Prine…..now that would be a show indeed!
Please don’t confuse the game of Football with the game of Armored Handegg that Philadelphia won at the weekend. As a sport it doesn’t really flow, does it? Seems like it was designed to keep beer drinkers sat on the sofa watching adverts for limp dick pills, a soap opera for men 😉
My non-braggadocious self would like to point out that I was crowned World Scrabble Champion at the weekend, after I bested everyone in my house. My friends and neighbors weren’t invited to compete, and I beat them all.
As to your points:
1) Sometimes my irony gets lost in my tortured syntax.
And I’d be happy to get it on with you over the Word table, but which dictionary would we use? You’d start playing stuff like colour and plumpud and I’d have to challenge, and the whole thing would turn into Breed’s Hill, not to bring up old war wounds.
Nonetheless, congratulations on your great victory.
Good question John. When I play the missus (who is American) on the iPad we use American English. When we play old school on a board we allow both American and British English. I don’t remember ever coming to an agreement about which versions of English were allowed, so it must have been a long time ago if we did, or perhaps common sense just naturally allowed both. If I can use some Chinese words I should be able to use British words too.
A British Scrabble set has twice as many “U” tiles, by the way.
That’s a joke about the “U” tiles 🙂
Superbowls 59 and 509 should be good for a laugh.
Made it to the 3rd quarter then fell asleep. In fact, I didn’t move from the couch all day. My mother passed away and Saturday was her funeral mass. My cousin,who I expected to be at my house mid day Friday finally showed up at 1:30 AM. We had to get up at 5:30 to head into the city.
Had some baby back ribs, a slice of pizza and too many leftover funeral reception cookies. And 2 glasses of wine and a shot of cognac.
Commercials were weird this year.
Jim Britton says
I’m sorry about your mom.
So sorry about your mom! My dad passed not too long ago, so I know it’s rough. You don’t get over it, but you do get used to it. Hang in.
Not Oprah says
Hugs to you too Chill.
Madz, my condolences on the loss of your mother. I was close with both my parents and, after all these years, still dream about them. Losing parents is inevitable, but it sucks. My love to you.
Sorry madz. That sucks.
Sorry about your Mom. Sorry.
Not Oprah says
My thoughts are with you Madz. So sorry.
Sorry to hear Madz. I know exactly how you feel, my mum passed thursday. Been an odd bunch of days since.
Love and hugs to you too, Alex.
Not Oprah says
So sorry – thoughts with you also Alex.
Very sorry for your loss Alex. Hugs to you.
Oh, madz, I’m so sorry. Sending you love and hugs from Virginia.
Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts. Tough old broad made it home and passed peacefully in her sleep in her own bed. That was a comforting thought. Except she died about 20 minutes before I got there. Those were her terms. She got the last laugh. After giving life to 6 of us, she deserved to go as she wanted.
RIP Edie. Always loved. Already missed!
So sorry for your loss, madz. May your mom rest peacefully.
Alice in WV says
Our next-door neighbors hosted a Sooperbowl party. There were about fifty cars parked all over the street including on their lawn. They started grilling hamburgers on the patio at 9:00 AM.
Our TV cable also blacked out for about 30 seconds during the game and we heard a roar emanating from their house so loud, I was sure there would be a murder.
I also noticed that both of their cars did not leave the driveway today. Guess they called in sick to sober up.
Justin Beiberlake, or whatever, stinks. You would think the NFL could afford a good band for the Big Show. Whatever.
No Super Bowl this year. It was a game-time decision. I watched “A Futile and Stupid Gesture” again and called it a night before the big game was close to being decided. I regret nothing.
Robert Reimer says
With commercials every minute, there is damn little football left to watch during the Superbowl. When the teams were on the screen, Chris Collingsworth was braying about the intricacy of each play and the excellence of everyone on the field. It was grating to watch 4 quarters of football this way. What’s the point in advertising Tide? …get a couple of Oxydol users to switch brands? Despite the commercial and broadcast booth flatus, it was a good game…no real defense but a good game. The stronger team won.
I don’t follow football, and my TV is out – I accidentally cut the cable with a hedge trimmer last summer, and haven’t bothered to fix it.
Having said that, I found it impossible to avoid at least some of the hype that comes in from non-TV sources. It sounded to me like Boston was the favorite, having won seventy-eleven championships in the recent past. This leads me to think that they are the football analog of the NY Yankees: an overdog worthy of hate for that reason alone.
Food-wise, on Saturday I made yet another variation on macaroni and beef. Sunday it was a roast chicken. Both are pedestrian but good, and generate leftovers for work night consumption.
Common household accident. Every time I use hedge trimmers inside. I finally gave up and switched to OTA. No cable, no fuss, no bill.
In my case it’s Dish, but from what I hear it’s the same with any CableCo. You can do just about anything online: order service, pay your bill, change your package (!) The one thing you can’t do online is cancel. For that, you have to call and talk to an Anal Retention Specialist. I may have the job title wrong.
Thanks for the nudge, John. I just got off the phone with them and it’s over. Ixnay on the ish-day.
You’re welcome. I guess you know this pisses all over any chance you had of getting messages from the Pleiades.
Oh, and I called the local cable cabal, and asked about changing my package. They said I’m 20 years too late. I didn’t feel a need anyway; I was just curious and yellow.
Sucks getting old. But I guess it beats the alternative.
Yeah. . . Wait, what is the alternative? Becoming a Republican? Sorry, I forgot you’re not from around here. I meant becoming a UKIP.
If “around here” means the Pacific Northwest, then that is indeed where I’m not from. I consider myself to be from Brooklyn, although I lived in Massachusetts for a few years. Complete Yankee either way.
And by the alternative, I meant death.
If I recall correctly, two years ago the Stupor Bowl was branded with the Arabic numerals “50,” rather than “L.” Side note: I wonder if there are functions in Excel to convert to and from Roman numerals. You would think some dork programmer would have added that just for a good time; I know I would have.
Haven’t liked Roman Numerals since I first tried to read screen credits on old films. It’s stupid and I hate it. Stupid Romans.
First time I missed a Super Bowl in nearly 40 years. Unfortunately this was moving day, and night, and the next day. Moved into a luxury apartment with my GF from Lakeland. A brand new start at 56 years old. Planning on a great year, although the impending divorce with child support will be coming soon. And Colts fans are bred to hate the Patriots. Therefore, I was happy with the results.
I was not even aware that it was Superbowl weekend until Saturday afternoon when I was assaulted by 10 foot tall football-themed displays of Doritos and Coors Light when I walked into the grocery store. You could say I’m not much of a sports fan. While the rest of America watched the Concussion Bowl©, my awesome wife cooked up some terrific homemade refried beans, Spanish rice and fajitas (keeping with the Mexican theme) while we watched a bunch of Cougar Town episodes on Hulu. Twas a good night.
Your Tweet about the Waffle House menu during the game had me in stitches. The commercials this year, that I saw, were terrible. I want to be amused not ‘uplifted’, if I wanted to be ‘uplifted’ I’d watch the 700 club. The Halftime show was terrible. And why do they put ‘fans’ on the field? The playing surface is supposed to be tended not swarmed over by a bunch of morons. I saw a story that the Eagles practiced sitting for 30 minutes during practices to be ready for the stupid long half time show. We have watched the Grey Cup and their half time is more awesome and less lengthy. One year they had snowmobile stunt drivers.
Roman numerals. When I was in school in the ‘new math era’ we have to work in bases and roman numerals so I know most of the big ones I, V, X, L, C, M but I agree that they are stupid when applied to the Superbowl and movie and TV copyrights.
in years past I have always made too much food so this year I only made one thing at a time. Hubby had potato skins, I had Spanakopita and then we both had chicken pot stickers.
Best Buy and Target are going to stop selling CDs in stores. I just died a little bit.
Ok, sad enough, but, in my experience, they had a shit selection anyway: nearly any Katy Perry or Lady gaga or Justen Timberlake or Bee Onsay or Bruno Mars CD you’d like, but nothing by Tom Waits or Smokey Robinson or Little Richard or The Band or Patti Smith or anybody else who doesn’t use a backing track and puts a little effort into songwriting. Hell, Paul Simon or even one of the many Dylan albums that suck would have been a start.
I appreciate the CD form factor as much as the next guy, but they must have had Al Gore doing their buying. I didn’t walk on them — their ghastly taste in music threw my ass out the door.
I’ve don’t think I’ve ever bought a CD at Target, and if I’ve bought one at Best Buy I don’t remember doing so, it’s more that this is sign that CDs are going away – and soon. The bulk of my in store CD purchases were made at Amoeba and Rasputins out on your coast. I could spend an afternoon shopping in either of those 20 years ago. They’re probably full of bongs and XBox games today 🙁