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Some Phrases Typed Into Search Engines During the Past 30 Days That Led Folks Here

April 5, 2012 By Jeff 43 Comments

analpop

ass eaters

awful stench of obesity

brockly

can people that lost the sense of touch get off

danica patrick “not a nice person”

does tide detergent kill herpes

dunkin donuts i won’t be needing these any more wanda

embarrassing gurgling with diarrhea

eminem turned side ways

fig newtons makes me sleepy

fish nostrils

full on peed

hiccuping when eating carrot spasm

his underware came off in sleep study

how to draw the kfc colonel

how to wipe your butt in wheelchair

i hope to hear some good news from your pussy

interactive puberty

is the red dye in doritos made from red cochroaches

jeff kay drop dead diva

lungs rear view

men named cotton

mt dew makes my spit thick

naked women with big boobs and fuzz

ooh, I hated the colonel, with his wee beany eyes!

she clogs toilet with huge turds

shower leaking through ceiling is it because the women have been shaving

slicker than a ministers prick

sylvia gassy from va

things ugly people shouldn’t have

turd lettuce

was the boy who played whitey on leave it to beaver the son of the man who played sam the butcher on the brady bunch

west vergena surf report

what medical condition does girl on hgtv house hunters have

whooper meal photo

why aren’t more people opening their eyes to the weird.unexplained stuff happening around the world

why did my penguin rub his nose is my poop acidic

yurt syndrome

Now playing in the bunker
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Filed Under: Daily

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Comments

  1. ashton says

    April 5, 2012 at 12:29 pm

    Awesome.

    Eleven.

    Reply
  2. Mudpup says

    April 5, 2012 at 12:37 pm

    What are people thinking?

    Reply
  3. WB in OH says

    April 5, 2012 at 12:40 pm

    So I didn’t spell vergena so good, big deel.

    Reply
    • clintcurtis says

      April 7, 2012 at 12:50 pm

      WB, that was spoken like a true Buckeye. The proper term is West “By God” vergena. That goes for either the state or talking about “lady parts.”

      Reply
  4. J Hodge says

    April 5, 2012 at 12:48 pm

    “Jeff Kay drop dead diva”

    Ha!

    Reply
    • Cosgrove says

      April 5, 2012 at 3:03 pm

      Yeah, that one got me. Do you think they meant our resident Jeff Kay? California sissy boy = diva, right?

      Reply
  5. t-storm says

    April 5, 2012 at 1:13 pm

    I hope the news I hear from your pussy isn’t regarding turd lettuce.

    Reply
  6. sunshine_in_va says

    April 5, 2012 at 1:16 pm

    Face it, Jeff. You’ve yet to plumb the depths of your demographic!

    Reply
  7. junkfood says

    April 5, 2012 at 1:17 pm

    This fits in with yesterday’s update: I just found out a lot of things about my fellow surf reporters I wish I didn’t know.

    Reply
  8. Miss Q says

    April 5, 2012 at 1:22 pm

    Fabulous update.

    But seriously, fig newtons really do make me sleepy.

    Reply
  9. Pete says

    April 5, 2012 at 1:52 pm

    wee beady eyes. beady.

    Reply
  10. madz1962 says

    April 5, 2012 at 2:05 pm

    Gotta take my car in for repairs. It’s that damn “Lungs rear view” again. Then I’ll engage in some interactive puberty…

    Reply
  11. Bill in WV says

    April 5, 2012 at 2:14 pm

    How to wipe your butt in a wheelchair. 1) Get out of wheelchair. 2) Lie on side. 3) Wipe sssssllllloooowwwwllllllyyyyy. 4) Get back up. 5) Go to sink. 6) Wash smudge of shit off hand and arm. 7) Get back in wheelchair. Your day has started.

    Reply
    • clintcurtis says

      April 7, 2012 at 1:29 pm

      Funny, but a little too close to home for me right now. However, had some great news Thursday afternoon when the UW Med Center called and said I made their liver transplant list. Yeah, it’s gonna cost a quarter of a million dollars, but I’ll be able to make it up in savings from not having to buy Depends undergarments!

      Reply
      • clintcurtis says

        April 7, 2012 at 1:30 pm

        BTW, the liver failure is from Hepatitis C, not drinking.

        Reply
        • Greg says

          April 7, 2012 at 1:55 pm

          clintcurtis, that’s GREAT news! Glad to hear it! Hope it’s a short list!

          Reply
  12. CitizenX says

    April 5, 2012 at 3:12 pm

    yurt syndrome !

    Reply
  13. JeffInDenver (InCleveland) says

    April 5, 2012 at 3:13 pm

    Ok, so that list covers all of Jason’s visits. What about the rest of the traffic?

    Reply
    • Ed says

      April 5, 2012 at 6:58 pm

      Speaking of Jason, where has he been, anyway?

      Reply
  14. The Kuban says

    April 5, 2012 at 3:26 pm

    I had a smack-upside-the-head moment yesterday which promptly reminded me that I live in the land of bubba teeth and rednecks. I was proudly wearing my new WVSR T-shirt out and about yesterday and the overly happy checkout girl at Party City asked me what my shirt “meant”. So I told her. Briefly.

    Her response : *Crickets*

    We stood there gazing at each other awkwardly for what seemed like 30 seconds before she finally said “oh, I thought it was for noodling or something because of the fish. Have a super fantastical day!!”

    Apparently if you live below the Mason-Dixon Line a fish used in any sort of context automatically references noddling. And who the hell says fantastical? Stoopid, stoopid girl.

    Hurry up December 2012. We need a do-over.

    Reply
    • t-storm says

      April 5, 2012 at 3:59 pm

      Or jesus.

      Reply
    • Alex says

      April 5, 2012 at 4:17 pm

      SInce you bring up noodling, WTF is up with that Hillbilly Hand FIshing show on A&E (TLC? Discovery?) with a bunch of spineless city slickers? How does that even rate becoming a tv show?

      Reply
      • clintcurtis says

        April 6, 2012 at 2:42 pm

        I always find it amazizing that blue collar, hard working guys will toil all day on the job, then come home, plop down on the couch in front of the television with a Swanson’s Hungry man and spend the remaninder of the night wathcing people work.

        I live in a town with a reality sho, and my radio voice has been on two different shows. The big consternation here now ian influx of gold miners, and at a local meeting last week the local miners told of their fears of “piracy.” Before our influx of so called “piracy,” I need to talk to Jeff about putting the Smoking Fish logo on some black eye patches. Hey, if your’re going to be a pirate, you might as well be cool also!

        Reply
        • t-storm says

          April 6, 2012 at 2:45 pm

          I call my black guy patches. Not because he smokes Kools, but because he killed my sister.
          What?

          Reply
        • Alex says

          April 7, 2012 at 8:57 am

          What shows have we probably heard your voice on?

          Reply
          • clintcurtis says

            April 7, 2012 at 12:55 pm

            First season of Deadliest Catch giving the Marine Forecast on the HF radio.

            Reply
  15. Robert says

    April 5, 2012 at 3:32 pm

    Holy sh*t – that made my day! “Brockly”

    Reply
  16. t-storm says

    April 5, 2012 at 4:00 pm

    My healthy choice meal just screamed at me from the microwave. I think it was one of the cherry tomatoes, was actually a veggie tale.

    Go Reds!

    Reply
    • clintcurtis says

      April 6, 2012 at 2:45 pm

      I put Junior Asaparagus under the broiler last night and now am going on trial for crimes against vegatarianism.

      Reply
  17. Phreesh says

    April 5, 2012 at 4:10 pm

    Band name – Yurt Syndrome

    Reply
  18. madz1962 says

    April 5, 2012 at 4:14 pm

    Does analpop come in Diet?

    Reply
    • clintcurtis says

      April 7, 2012 at 1:02 pm

      No, so far it’s just comes in “Regular” and “High Fiber.

      Reply
  19. Alex says

    April 5, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    I googled a couple of those strings, and I’m wondering just how many pages of stuff somebody had to go through to finally get to thewvsr. =-)

    In an effort to increase traffic through google spidering;
    butt plug parade
    my swollen breasts
    mayonaise aphrodisiac
    festering axe wound
    best tomato fertilizer

    that should encompass a few different focus groups…

    Reply
    • Alex says

      April 5, 2012 at 4:23 pm

      (No, my breasts are not swollen)

      Reply
  20. bikerchick says

    April 5, 2012 at 5:55 pm

    That was absolutely hilarious! Wtf are people thinking?? Does the search engine offer demographics? I’d love to know where these “inquiring minds” are from.

    And NO…Tide does not kill the herps. But it does leave a scorching rash.

    Reply
    • t-storm says

      April 5, 2012 at 5:55 pm

      Dreft kills herpes. Duh.

      Reply
      • clintcurtis says

        April 7, 2012 at 1:17 pm

        I don’t know what kills Herpes, but I got something that comes close is having your 19 year old girlfriend use IcyHot as a manual stimulant on you you.

        Yeah, these were the days I thought we youngsters had invented sex, and our parents must have had us by immaculate conception. Of course, that was before my granparents kicked off and the family was looking through their old photos. Yikes, we can learn so much about sex from our elders.

        My Mom ended our picture viewing when I asked, “Is Grandma right side up or hanging by her ankles in this shot. And why is she wearing a fake pig nose?” Some family secrets are better left a secret.

        Reply
  21. Ed says

    April 5, 2012 at 7:03 pm

    Don’t forget the original mother lode:

    http://thewvsr.com/searchengines.htm

    Reply
  22. chill says

    April 5, 2012 at 7:03 pm

    The stench of obesity really is awful, you know. Although it immediately raises the question of why these searches turn up the WVSR.

    Umba-fuckin-leeble.
    .

    Reply
  23. Henderson says

    April 6, 2012 at 12:53 am

    Look at the bright side… most of the words are spelled correctly.

    Reply
  24. Henderson says

    April 6, 2012 at 12:58 am

    Screw you Google. No. I did *not* mean brokley

    Reply
  25. The Qweezy Mark says

    April 6, 2012 at 6:10 pm

    Veal is the traditional dish of Good Friday, right?

    Reply
    • chill says

      April 6, 2012 at 6:16 pm

      Absolutely. I am now eating meatballs that are made of beef, pork and veal. Three birds, one stone.
      .

      Reply

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