And now for a return to the real world… I haven’t worked since Monday night, and it’s been pretty great. I got a lot accomplished with the book, watched a few movies, and spent actual time with the family. It was nice, and I’m not beating myself up because of all the time I wasted, for a change. Good stuff.
But I’m going back to work today, and will be working a ton of hours for the next few weeks. So, it’s back to Shit City. Within 24 hours my soul, which is in decent shape at the moment, will be shredded and battered again.
It’s the circle of life. And as my spiritual adviser, Paul Westerberg, might put it, I’m unsatisfied. Yeah, but it’s up to me to change it, so enough of the whining. Sweet Jesus.
As mentioned, we went to see ‘This Is 40’ on Christmas day, and enjoyed it a great deal. Very funny… and relatable. And we saw ‘The Campaign’ the same night, which was cartoonishly funny. Plenty of laughs, which is always a good thing.
And on Netflix I watched ‘Sleepwalk with Me,’ which I thought was good. A little low-key, but entertaining. I’ve heard Mike Birbiglia, the writer, director, and star, on several podcasts promoting the film. So, I knew it was based on his real life experiences, and crazy-ass sleep disorder. The book is supposed to be hilarious, but I haven’t read it yet. I wouldn’t say the movie is “hilarious,” but I did enjoy it.
I also watched the Replacements documentary, ‘Color Me Obsessed.’ And I don’t know… Because I’m a huge fan, it held my interest. But I have a feeling that a casual fan, or someone who doesn’t know anything about them at all, would be bored shitless. There’s no music, no footage of them performing, or interviews with band members.
I understand it’s a movie about the extraordinary connection fans have with the band, but I wanted it to be a biography, as well. So, I suppose it’s my problem, not the filmmakers’. They were very clear about their intentions, and I still hoped for something else.
The whole movie is people sitting in rooms and talking about the band. It’s a combination of everyday fans, music writers, musicians, and celebrities like Tom Arnold (WTF??). Many of the stories were good, especially the ones told by some dude who grew up on a farm, and said his entire teenage years were lived inside a fantasy world in which the Replacements were his friends. He said he had long conversations with Tommy Stinson, and ran important life decisions past him, etc.
So, I liked it, but suspect only hardcore Replacements fans will relate. If I asked my kids to watch it, for instance, they’d be glazed over, with drool dripping out of the corner of their mouths within ten minutes. I’d love to have a more conventional film about the band to show them — something like ‘We Jam Econo‘ — but this ain’t it. Oh well.
I don’t usually update on Sundays, but was feeling the urge. I know this one isn’t hilarious, but I’m getting back into the swing of things… Please bear with me.
I’ll leave you now with a Question I asked on Twitter a few days ago. Someone gave me a $25 gift card for a convenience store, as a Christmas gift. I appreciate the gesture, I really do, but don’t know how to proceed.
Convenience stores don’t sell beer in Pennsylvania, so that obvious option is off the table. How would you suggest I spend my $25? I’m thinking Twizzlers, but haven’t decided for sure. Help me out, won’t you? I need some creative input. Please use the comments link below.
And if you watched anything interesting over the holiday break, we’d like to hear about that, as well.
Finally, I want to thank icecycle66 and Becca for their guest posts, while I was off writing about my old paper route and running my hands through my hair. I thought both were excellent, and appreciate their efforts.
I’ll see you guys again on Monday or Tuesday. I haven’t decided yet.
Have a great day, my friends!
Now playing in the bunker
Do your holiday shopping at Amazon: US and Canada
First first!
as close as I am ever going to be to #1 ;(
I’d go with the Twizzlers and a couple of Dark Chocolate Milky Ways, if you can find them. You could always stock up on Red Bull to mix with a little vodka for any upcoming writer’s block.
Does this store have a gas station? Use it for gas. If not try and get stuff you will use like toilet paper and paper towels etc. Milk and bread?
In my neck of the woods (rural Connecticut) convenience stores hold only 2 attractions for me…
1) Cheap milk and 2) Cheap lunches on the run (hotdogs, pizza slices, bad nachos, churros, sodas in 5 gallon buckets and the like).
$25 would get you plenty of those big and fast lunches. As an added bonus it would also spike your blood-pressure, clog your arteries & send you into a diabetic coma as well.
If somebody gave me $25 to blow at – say – 7-11, this would be it:
Penrose pickled hot sausage
Every variety of Slim-Jim (who else would carry that wide a selection?)
A big bag of ice (I loves my Pepsi over crystal clear ice)
A Clark bar, and a Zagnut too. They usually have one if they have the other.
Cigarette lighter
Slim Jim’s, Doritos, Fritos and a couple of 2 liters of Pepsi.
A tobasco Slim Jim can keep me chewing for an hour like a mouthful of tobacco. I highly recommend them.
Fountain Diet Coke. Lot’s of ice.
Coffee.
If the hot dogs are really fresh — and I mean December fresh — go for it; it’s good to get a “running start” on your 2013 sodium. I decided to use quotation marks gratuitously because it hurts too much to randomly use an apostrophe.
I mean no disrespect — I’m just trying to connect.
jtb
I rented the campaign from red box a few weeks ago. Took 3 tries to get a working copy.
Saw this is forty on Friday and loved it. The girl cried. I could have had I been alone. Melissa McCarthy is hilarious and I feel she can write her own ticket until she goes batshit crazy.
$25 gift card.
If they have hot dogs and sodas buy four large fountain drinks all different then prepare as many hot dogs as you can buy. Load them up with relish, nacho cheese, chili. Be low key and take your time but do all the hot dogs up ralphie may style. Get a carrier for the drinks and hot dogs. Pay for it with your gift card make some jokes about the price of things, maybe make ajoke about the mmissus being pregnant or something. Walk out to your car and put them on the roof while you unlock the car. Get in your car and drive off with it all still up there. Don’t stop, hesitate, or look back. Just keep going.
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That was supposed to say “applause” between those brackets, dagnabbit!
Well played.
Condoms. Then leave them “hidden” somewhere where the boys can steal them.
Nothing but beef jerky.
Just buy the typical weekend supplies.
Blue tarp
Vegetable oil
incense
two bananas
bleach
Then send a thank you card to the giver and tell them what you bought with their thoughtful gift.
I would definitely spend it on processed meats. Slim Jims, jerky, etc.
You can probably get five 5 Hour Energy drinks with $25. Or, if they sell Neuro Drinks at your convenience store, they will probably be about $5 each, too. The Neuro Drinks are kinda interesting–none of the sinister additives like in some of the other brands, although some reviews claim that the Neuro Sonic made them puke–not a good thing. Anyway, something like that and you could thank your gift giver for giving you something that helps you get some work accomplished.
Or–just chew up a storm on the Slim Jims–kinda evokes a nostalgia for the days when stogies were character props, not mechanisms of death.
I see a place for the fountain drinks, too, though. My husband can never understand why I don’t want to just get a 2 L and have more of it. It’s the quality of the product and the style it evokes. I treat myself to an occasional fountain soda, rather than swilling entire 2 L bottles of pop.
When I am in my right mind and have an extra bit of cash, I have this soft lunch box I carry in the car, and I fill it with nabs, nuts, juice, and a pack or two of M&Ms, along with some juice boxes. It has got me through many a crazy day of taking any one of 3 disabled and/or elderly family members on various rounds without getting cranky because my blood sugar is low, or downright weepy because it is beyond low to crash and burn stage. Come what may, I can take it a lot better if my blood sugar is within normal range and I’m not dehydrated.
Welcome back, Jeff. They were all good, but the monkey article was the best. Thanks for making arrangements to keep us going while you were busy with other necessaries.
I saw This is 40 and enjoyed it. One interesting thing though: a scene from the commercail on TV never happened in the movie. Is it legal to do that? advertise a scene from the movie but the scene never appears?
In the commercial there was a line that said something like “wanna have sex? and she says no I just took a shower and do not want to ruin it.” that never appeared in the movie.
That happens all the time. It might show up in the directors cut. It’s annoying because those lines get stuck in your head.
I’m pretty sure that scene was in Knocked up, was it not?
How did they film that scene in my bedroom, and I didn’t even know it???
Convenience store shopping spree
Slurpees
Coffee on the way to work for 2 weeks
Some delicious breakfast sandwiches (If it is Wawa)
Dinner for 4 (If it is Wawa)
Lots of Gatorade – my husband has been sick and recently went through 2 gallons from the convenience store
Windshield washer fluid
The newspaper for 2 weeks
A couple boxes of donuts
Chips for your Superbowl party
Lottery Tickets
I love The Replacements and have since I was 16 (I’m 41), my husband is a music lover but a late comer due to his sad fixation with metal. I loved the documentary, but only because “I takes what I gets.” He, on the other hand, was fit to be tied. Rage filled. I will rewatch alone.
On the convenience store front, buy candy, and nothing but candy.
Movie to watch, Safety not Guaranteed. Funny and they went the unpopular distance. It was easily the best movie I saw in 2012.
You should buy: Peach Faygo, Apple blow pops, tootsie roll pops, Bit O’ Honey, pork rinds, a bic lighter, Combos (Combos really cheeses your hunger away!! Now is that jingle stuck in your head?) And a lottery ticket.
17 packs of Necco wafers.
Buy a money order, make it out to you, deposit it into your account, then go buy beer somewhere.
At the 7-11s around here, there isn’t much for a non-smoker. Let’s say candy and processed meat (Slim Jims, jerky etc.). Maybe a weird-ass magazine or two.
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What kind of state do you live in? You can buy an assault rifle at Wal-Mart but you can’t buy a six of PBR at 7-11. God help us all.
jtb
Upon request from the show promoter, I scored some cocaine for the Replacements back in 1991. I guess they needed a lot of drugs just to put up with each other while on tour right before they broke up….
As far as the $25 gift certificate for the convenience store: Definitely spend it on butt plugs and nipple clamps, and donate them to the Salvation Army after you tire of them.
Oh, and happy friggin’ new year, y’all!
Well done Jeff. Your replacements were good too.
I don’t do music like you do, like most of you guys do. I like the big ones: Elvis, Garth Brooks, Taylor Swift (isn’t she cute?) and I know that must drive you nuts. But when I try out what you like it’s just some guy screaming. SCREAMING NONSENSE, seems to me. What am I missing?
taste
Hey Bickerchick and JCIII have you guys seen kristen emery’s ass on channel 2 weather!!! six pack holder i tell ya.
Six pack holder – is that good? I’m picturing a squared-off cardboard thing with a handle. A little help? Thanks.
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I was given a Sheetz card. Nice gesture and it paid for a partial tank of gas.
So I’d recommend filling up your tank. Otherwise MTO’s, HUGE soda’s and some fancy girly coffees.
Apparently in color me obsessed someone is wearing a wussy T-shirt which is an awesome band from Cincinnati.
They are playing in cleveland this weekend. Someone give me a ride!