OK, I voted. But I have some concerns. I think there might be some shenanigans going on — which are not unusual inside the great state of Pennsylvania. Please consider my experiences and observations, and make of them what you will.
- Sometimes our polling place is in the school administration building, and other times it’s at the fire station. I didn’t check it this year, and WENT TO THE WRONG PLACE! I was then forced to get back in my car, and drive to the polling station. Voter suppression? You make the call.
- While driving the two blocks to the fire station, my head swimming in confusion and panic, I was stuck behind a woman who looked like a prawn in a winter coat, driving a Chrysler LeBaron. She appeared to be 98 years old, give or take, and was moving through the streets at 17 mph. An operative, trying to gum up the works? We’ll probably never know for sure.
- The old man who greeted me inside the polling place was eating a pastry of some sort. He directed me to the correct line… and continued eating his bear claw or whatever. I noticed he was wearing a Cape May sweatshirt. Then, when it was almost my turn, he chuckled, “God, I’m eating like a pig this morning.” And a chill went through me… Was it a veiled threat of some sort?
- One of the women behind the folding table waved me over, and asked for my name. Previously they asked for my address, as well, but this time they wanted to see a piece of photo ID! In the United States of America!! Under protest I reached into my pocket, found my driver license, and showed it to her. And now I know what it must have been like on the Bataan Death March.
- I voted for three people, but didn’t know anything about the rest of them. I felt stupid, and ill-informed — the goddamn auditor?? — and could sense my dignity being stripped away from me. Is this by design? It’s an interesting question, isn’t it?
- The old guy with the coffee cake took my completed ballot, tore off a receipt from the bottom, and instructed me to feed the rest of it into a machine. “Face down, or face up?” I asked. “Doesn’t matter,” he answered, cheerfully. But DOES it matter?
- Since I was out, and it was almost noon, I decided to order a pizza from a place in town. They’re only $5 from 11 to 2 every day, and are pretty damn good. With pepperoni it’s $6, but it’s still cheaper than Wendy’s — for a whole pie. So, I called them and placed my order, and they wanted to know my phone number! What’s happening to this country?! It felt like somebody was twisting a scuba diver’s tank into my anus.
- While driving to the pizza joint, I saw TWO cars with Kansas plates. Two of them! We’re in northeastern Pennsylvania, and I’m seeing Kansas plates all willy-nilly? Can it be any more clear than that, people. My god!
I hope my experience was unusual. Please tell me if you encountered such things where you live. I hate to be an alarmist, but I’m starting to fear for our future, my friends. Bring us up to date on the problems you might have encountered today.
And I’ll see you again tomorrow. Hopefully.
Now playing in the bunker
Treat yourself to something cool at Amazon!
I’ve been listening to 700WLW all day. I think the fact that they didn’t know you wanted a pizza is suppression. And what is the receipt for? can you take back your country?
WB in OH says
Ditto on the WLW, and I’ve never been given a receipt either, PA thing?
WB in OH says
After the elderly lady looked at my drivers license, she started flipping through the big book of names. She was in the S’s, my last name starts with a B, it seemed like she took extra time to get back to the B’s. I think she was trying to intimidate by acting like she didn’t understand how alphabetical order worked.
I’m not voting until this eveing. After the old geezers have been there for 11 hours, jacked up on Dunkin’ Donuts and Mountain Dew. And pastry! Holy hopping Jesus what is it with these poll workers and bakery items/
That in itself, is a conspiracy. Donut holes means democrat. Danish rings – Republican. I think. I’m ocnfused on bear claws but maybe that’s Independents?
and sorry for the typos. I have maybe 1-1/2 hours left to get a report in which is my summarization of year’s worth of work and all my outstanding achievements.
I have a paragraph written so far.
My ass is making buttons.
“My ass is making buttons” LMAO!!!
Yep, the Democrats had doughnut holes at our place this morning.
I’m pretty sure that doughnut holes are illegal around here, on account of what they stand for and all…
After voting in Indiana I was issued a propaganda sticker by the polling place commissar, so that everyone I encountered would know my crime: “I Voted”
My brother is going to run for city council again next year. He lost last time. He mentioned taking his application to the pollingplace he’s working at today to get the 50 signatures he needs there.
I’m pretty sure that is illegal.
Bill in WV says
The wife and I will trek down to the poling place after I get off work today and the same guys who fought toe to toe with General Pershing will be workin’ the books. Takes this one old bastard 10 minutes to tear off the little stub that goes with your ballot. By that time, he’s licked his finger so many times it’s covered with his spit. The other 127 year old attempts to write my name down and it looks as if he has turned into a seismograph, he’s shaking so bad. Lord, give me strength !!
DYING here. I think you described every polling person to a tee! LMAO.
In and out in under ten minutes this morning. I’m pretty sure the lady who took my ballot voted in the first election. Ever.
Fancy Pants Maguire says
I voted by mail about two weeks ago, and I am pretty sure that someday I am going to be dead. Coincidence?
I’m being sequestered on the second floor of a Freightliner “service” department in Springfield, Missouri while my truck is getting “repaired”. I was told to be here at 4AM. I showed up and was told to come back at 6AM. Been here ever since. They’re trying to wear me down. They’ re all wearing “I Voted” stickers and yes…there’s a giant box of Danish behind the counter. Big Fat Jon has remnents on his face and shirt of the last three he pie holed. They think I’m from here and keeping me from voting. Somehow they know I could be trouble.
I managed to make my escape around 4:30PM. Talked a cute girl making coffee into calling me a cab. She said…”You’re a cab”. I asked her to marry me.
Wife called and said she went to vote in the afternoon. Then went to the bar. I’m in a hotel room for the night. Two homeless people out front selling counterfeit “I Voted” stickers and bumming cigarettes. America moves on with it’s business.
Who the hell goes a polling place to vote any more?
I sat on my back porch a couple of weeks ago with
1) My ballot
2) The book.
3) A double Jack and Ginger.
Everyone named John, Jack or Ginger got my vote. I may have even voted for Ice Cube.
No lines in Georgia but we had LOTS of early voters.
They changed my precinct this year, too. Never in the last 12 years has this happened.
There was an elderly lady being told the same story I was getting. She looked confused so I told her that I was in the wrong place, too and that she could follow me over to where we had to go. She seemed grateful.
I WILL NOT LET THEM WIN with these GAMES!
Then we got to the correct place and I could not locate my ID that I had shown at the previous place. They took an expired State ID I had in my purse (2011) so that was cool.
Voted and then went back to get my license. Grrrr,
Bill in WV says
We vote in mine and Jeff’s old high school building, which is now a middle school. Kinda cool to get to go into that building every few years. I think I even heard Mrs. Wagner yell “BILL, GET TO THE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE NOW!!!”. Good times !!
Jeff— Waddaya think of Sunken Condos?
Root 66 says
Our polling place was relatively empty compared to what it was in 2008. Everything went smoothly with civility and decorum. I think I even saw someone smiling…something’s terribly, terribly wrong–I just know it!!
I’m pretty certain the throngs of people from ’08 were turned into Soyent Green…or baked goods!
Root 66 says
“Soylent” Green–in my fiery, righteous indignation, I forgot the “l” because of what happened to these good people!
Did anybody happen to mention that this election probably won’t mean squat anyhow, because of the end of the Mayan calendar on December 21st?! <>
Donuts–o.m.g. That’s what cops eat, isn’t it?
And, Jeff, at least you got a good night’s sleep (I assume). I was awakened at 3:30 this morning by one of the worst dizzy spells I have ever had. I had to sight in a straight shot to the pot, close my eyes, and go for it totally blind. All of this, it turns out, came about because my better (?) half turned the heat way down after I went to sleep, so my body from the shoulders up was a block of ice, with muscle spasms so bad it must have cut off circulation to my brain or something. Hah! I know what THIS is about–that opposite sides of the aisle thing. He didn’t want me to vote today.
As if that wasn’t enough family interference, our youngest voting member, as of just this year in fact, tried to avoid voting with us, with the paltry excuse that they had to go to work. Sporting this tude would have resulted in my better (?) half sporting a tude of his own, thus increasing family stress levels to the point that I would want to vote about as bad as somebody in New Jersey who used to (as of last week) live on the beachfront. So, family attack on 2 fronts, no less.
Then there was the problem of my ID. I cannot HELP it that the State of Ohio in its vast wisdom has used my maiden name for my middle initial on my ID, while all my married life (many long years, believe me), I have signed my legal name with my middle name initial. (Of COURSE they’re different letters). Never before has the pollworker questioned this. She did today. As she joked about having “COPD–compulsive obsessive shopping disorder.” Hinky–AND heartless.
Then there was the “citizen voter” (?) in camo who came in while we were there. As my young voting family member pointed out, he adopted the “power stance” before the voting machine. Scary.
And the pollworker who wore bright orange. Traffic director? Or caution sign?
Yep. Yep, yep. It’s everywhere….mhmm-mhmmmm, just everywhere…..
Joe T. says
Sounds like every caller to WILK this morning.
Hey Jeff…how’s the new Fagan?
” but this time they wanted to see a piece of photo ID! In the United States of America!! Under protest I reached into my pocket, found my driver license, and showed it to her. And now I know what it must have been like on the Bataan Death March.”
The way everyone has been hollerin’ in PA this year, you would think being Id’ed to vote was just the biggest violation of their civil liberties ever. We have gun purchase ID requirements so why not ID to vote? Just makes sense since a vote is so much more lethal in most people’s hands. 😎
The timing and way they went about it in PA seemed hinky to me but if it keeps all 328 people in my local cemetery from the polls, it can’t be all bad. lol
Well, nothing but fossils, and the guy that I think used to run the bookmobile in 1982 (also a fossil). But they had someone there who was younger (YOUNGER!!!) than I, with a, er, an, uh, breast tattoos? (What the hell DO you call those tattoos women have across their breasts? That’s all fine and good while you’re young…but just wait until you’re old, had kids, etc., them tattoos’ll look like crap!)
Anywho, I was frightened of the fact that there were only 4 “computers” to vote from, and that there were fossils in front of them. Not to judge, as I hope to be old (I guess) one day, but these are still folks who grew up without computers, touch screens, etc., and some of them were damned confused. Dammit, it’s almost time for me to go to work! Get out the way!
This time, there weren’t even any folks trying to change my mind in front of the polling place (unlike 2008), and the line was manageable (also unlike 2008). Lest anyone guess what state I’m in, I just HAD to vote AGAINST Akin. Didn’t matter if Hitler rose from the dead, I’d still cast a vote (hell, I at least KNOW Hitler knew about female anatomy! But I’d be one of the first folks he’d send to the Cyklon B Circus.) But Akin? What he said was so stupid, it hurt. And if it’d been a Democrat that said it (no, I’ve taken enough space talking about stupid politicians) or something like it, I’d be pissed–in fact, a local Congressman did say something equally stupid, so his ass didn’t get my vote. So I wasted it on an Independent…meh.
So, I voted, and I’m bitching, no matter which way it turns out!
The Divine Miss E says
I hate to inform you, but your experience and my experience were very similar. I had to show my photo ID as well, and one of the guys sitting at the folding table was eating what appeared to be a brownie. I was at the correct polling place, but a woman ahead of me in line wasn’t, and was directed to go down the street to a different location. And – AND! – the woman tearing off ballot stubs at the end was talking, very loudly, in a voice that could only be attained after smoking for at least 40 years. It was complete shenanigans.
I always laugh when I vote for drain commissioner. What the hell? My sister said, yesterday, that we clearly need a new drain commissioner, because the downtown area smells like a drain, so whoever has the job now must not be doing a very good job.
The Divine Miss E says
Oh, I forgot to mention! The guy eating the brownie could not have been older than 25. I call complete shenanigans on that. It’s the law, or something, that poll workers (heh) must be a minimum age of 65. I think he was there to throw us all off, cause complete discombobulation. I think it worked. I can’t remember who I voted for for regent of the University of Michigan. (Again, what the hell?)
My voting experience was unscathed – no subversive pastries were observed.
WB in OH says
BREAKING: Channel 12 out of Cincy is reporting they ran the last political ad of the evening at 6:10 pm! HIP HIP, HOORAY!
Finally…now we can get back to non-stop car commercials.
Kinda the same thing come to think of it.
WB in OH says
As long as I don’t have to hear “…and I approve this message.” for roughly four more years, bring on the car commercials.
greg T says
The commercials for the 2016 elections start today…
Mary Ann says
I submitted paperwork to work the polls, train, etc. yesterday and I am so thankful I did. The geriatrics at my polling place were the last remaining survivors of the Titanic. Not one of them had a hair color that wasn’t gray.
As you can see, my first name is Mary Ann – when I have the woman my name to have be sign in, she started looking through the M’s. My last name doesn’t start with M – that would be my first name.
I am certain that next year I will be given the prestige of being a poll supervisor because all the rest of the poll inspectors will have died by next November.
I can already hear them calling me a young whipper-snapper! LOL
I was at the election joint at opening time, 6:00 am. The line was pretty long, but not as bad as 2008. To my surprise, there was a diverse-ish mix of ages among the poll workers. There was even an attractive young female “election page”.
On the way in both the Rs and the Ds waved “sample ballots” in my face, even speaking in unison. On the way out, some group had set up a tent where they were handing out free Dunkin’ Donuts products. I gratefully accepted a cup of coffee.
And, I first voted in 1976 and it’s never been on paper; it’s always been some sort of machine. Mechanical ones at first, and now touchscreens. I always look askance at the touchscreens, since they are “Winvote” brand which makes me think they might be Windows-based. Bad juju right there.
I ran into an interesting family at the polling place today. They live about 100 yards from me, but I can go about 6 months at a time and not see any of them, then, all of a sudden, I start running into them everywhere for days on end, grocery store, post office, bank, dentist, mall, Jiffy Lube.
The “dad” is a college professor at some Christian school and wears a sport jacket 24/7. I do believe he sleeps in it, and changes it out for a fresh one every Christmas because they are all worn out at the elbows and cuffs. They have a very German last name, but this guy looks like he just got off the boat from Italy, dark skin, and jet black hair, tall, thin, and likely could have been a movie star if this was 1948.
The “mom” is about 15 years older and has a full beard. She also has hairy arms like a chimpanzee and bleached blond hair that has not seen a comb since Truman was in office.
They have three daughters that were all fat as hell in grade school and they all pestered the hell out of us to buy Girl Scout cookies and huge expensive tubs of popcorn and shit for about 15 years. Now, they are roughly age 19, 20, and 21 and are all hot as fuck and occasionally jog past my house at 7:00 AM while my dog is taking his morning shit in the neighbor’s yard.
They were pushing toothless Grandma in to the voting booth in her wheel chair and everyone was assisting.
Then, they all piled into a van that is all rusted out and looked like it should have been towed to the nearest junkyard and left for dead. It was dripping engine oil and left a blue cloud of haze that lingered for several minutes before I could inhale again.
One of two things will happen. Either I will see all of them every day for the next week, or I will not see any of them until July 4th. 50-50 bet either way.
Dude that was nostrils other family
That was hilarious!
Dr Buford says
Once again, I tip my hat to you Sir. Ole Shep would be proud!
And if you want to laugh your ass off while crying ‘mommy’ all the way, give this a read:
First time I’ve voted in a polling place that wasn’t manned by nursing home patients. Instead, it appeared that the women running the show were all working off community service hours or had just stopped by to kill time until their man was released from the prison up the road.
The one that drawled out the requirement for my drivers license was sitting on two chairs and could possibly have had two children stuffed into the front of her blouse. Her fingers never touched my license, but instead clutched it between two lime green fingernails with embedded crystals. and she was sweating.
Clearly an intimidation tactic to confuse me into casting the wrong vote for water supervisor
Bill in WV says
First time for this. The polling place just let you sit at one of the cafeteria tables and do your voting. Oh, they had four boofs there, but I guess since there were so many people there to vote, they just said fuggit, take this ballot anywhere you can find a seat and vote.
I didn’t have to show any picture ID. Nothing.
I got to my polling place around 7:45 last night after a very stressful day at work. I was loking at the “screen” to see if something came up like “OK, Your Vote Is In” but it didn’t. The old bastard manning that station barked “YOU”RE DONE” and pointed a shaky finger towards the exit door.