OK, let’s get this second decade started…
I’ve been working an outrageous number of hours, and, in addition to some heavily-taxed overtime pay, my employer gave me a fistful of gift cards to chain restaurants as a token of their appreciation. Oh, they know how to win my loyalty.
So, a few days ago we busted out one of the cards, and went to Olive Garden. We don’t go there very often, because the cost-to-enjoyment ratio is sometimes a bit lacking. It’s not horrible, or anything, just kind of pricey for what you get. In my opinion, anyway.
It was a weeknight, but the joint was hoppin’ and incredibly noisy. We were seated at a square table in the middle of the floor, and I was so close to the booth behind me I thought the occupants might ask to sit a basket of breadsticks on my shoulder.
I ordered the “create your own” pizza, with green peppers, onions, pepperoni, and sausage. Everybody else got complicated pastas of some sort, but I (like Barney Fife) don’t like my main dish concealed in a heavy sauce. And, as it turned out, the pizza was pretty damn good, possibly the best thing I’ve ever eaten at Olive Garden.
But the waiter who was helping my new friends behind me, kept wedging his big Dockered ass into the small space between their table and me. One time I wasn’t paying attention, turned my head, and almost found myself with a male butt cheek mashed against my head and neck. And I can’t have that.
He was, quite possibly, the most attentive waiter in the history of waitering, and his outsize ass was almost continuously bobbing and weaving into my airspace. I was afraid he might eke one out, and blow microscopic poop particles across my pie. But I think I dodged the bullet, thank God.
I enjoyed the pizza, despite the presence of some guy’s butt, and Toney and the boys liked their meals, as well. In fact, I took two slices home, had them the next day for a pre-lunch starter, and it was even better than the night before. Why are some foods like that?
What are your favorite better-the-second-time foods? Spaghetti sauce comes to mind, as well as chili. What do you think? What would you serve at the Second Day Café? Help me out, won’t you? Use the comments link below.
And speaking of overtime, do you think those trapped Chilean miners will be paid time and a half for the 69 straight days they were underground? That works out to be 1656 hours each, give or take. (And I’m the one complaining?) At the very least, they should get a laminated certificate, and potluck lunch. Right?
I was talking to a guy from a previous job a few days ago, just touching base ‘n’ catching up, and the subject turned to an ex-coworker who was fired for stealing. Oh, this woman didn’t steal money, or the products we manufactured, or anything along those lines. No, she would sneak entire pizzas to her car, trays of brownies, or cases of soda – from company-sponsored lunches, etc.
She was also suspected of emptying every first aid kit of the Band-Aids, if you can believe it.
Finally, she was caught red-handed and they let her go. While I was talking to my friend, I asked if he knew what happened to her. And he said she was working in the deli at a local grocery store.
This made me laugh, and I told him I had visions of her standing beside the meat cutter, sending slices of ham into her purse, which just happened to be wide-open and sitting nearby. In my mind I could see her shaving a giant ball of pork into a pocketbook, her eyes nervously darting around the room.
And that leads me to the second Question: Do you know anyone who’s been fired for stealing?
A rotund accountant embezzled $50,000 from one of my previous employers, turned himself in, and acted like a victim when they fired him on the spot. He was the same distance in every direction, and was also making payments to some fake company that led straight to his personal bank account. Wotta portly douche.
And when I worked at a large DVD manufacturing plant, a temp worker was caught with twelve(!) copies of Lord of the Rings in his underwear. It was a new release at the time, possibly even prior to street date, and the company prosecuted the fool. When they discovered the discs inside his Fruit of the Looms, he pleaded with security, “They must’ve fallen off a shelf or something!” Heh.
What about you? Do you have any “fired for stealing” tales to tell? If so, now’s the perfect time.
And I’ll see you guys again tomorrow.
Have a great day!
Best reheated leftovers: Chinese food, hands down.
I was once involved in a ridiculous employee theft incident that had nothing to do with me. For several years during my college days, I was an overnight shift manager for a local convenience store (Wawa, for those of you in the Philly area). At the time, the budget allowed for only one other employee besides the night manager for the entire 6 hour shift. And, most of the manager’s shift required a rather long stint in the walk-in cooler checking in the daily dairy delivery.
One night, I was worked with a woman who had recently given notice, and was working her last shift. Unbeknownst to me, this woman had decided to go out with a bang. I found this out the next morning when the store manager arrived to begin her shift. It was determined that several cases of cigarettes had somehow disappeared overnight, and I was the one that was held responsible since it happened while I was in charge. Yeah, I probably could have fought the decision, but at the time it was easier just to walk away. If nothing else, it helped me to get out of there and on to a better-paying job.
Did you ever get the stench of Wawa off of you? Those places reek!
Oh man, do they ever. I could never leave the place without showering first. Even today, the smell seems to come home in your bag of purchases.
Almost all food is fine cold, and all food is good reheated.
I’ll eat leftovers that are weeks (literally) old as long as there’s no obvious mold. I also don’t believe in expiration dates. I don’t even bother to refidgerate pizza overnight. I just take it out fo the box on the counter and voila, breakfast.
My stomach had never had a problem with this policy.
In fact I’m pretty sure I could eat a light bulb, fresh, cold or reheated.
Workplace theft- Whne I was in the car business we had two porters steal cars off the lot. One took plates off a mustang in for service and put them on a brand new one that he took joyriding. The cops that pulled him over noticed the VIN didn’t match the plates and he went to jail. The other guy stole an SUV, quit, and drove the truck back to pick up his last paycheck. Dumbass.
My sister-in-law is a surgeon. Her practice recently fired their office manager. He’d worker for them for some time and tehre had been issues and finally they decided to fire him.
The next day he returned 12! empty cylinders of Nitrous Oxide that he’d ordered for the practice and taken home. Holy crap.
“I like refried beans. That’s why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they’re just as good and we’re just wasting time. You don’t have to fry them again after all.”
Mitch Hedberg
Man gotta miss him. God speed Mitch.
…just a bit more…and I’ll chill
“Are you ready for dessert sir?”
“Yes thank you. What do you suggest?”
“How about..a mousse.”
“What…for deseert?”
“Oh yes sir. It’s quite popular.”
“Are you suggesting I eat a moose for dessert? That’s crazy”
.”Not at all sir.People do it all the time.”
“An entire moose?”
“Sometimes they might share one but they usually have their own.mousse. They’re not all that big”
“So…you serve a small moose for dessert?”
“Well…we only have one size but you can take home what you don’t finish and have it for later.”
“Take home half a moose? I don’t see how………….
………cue music and fade…….
I’m having half a burger I made last night while watching the Yankmees get owned by the Rangers. Zap the thing for 60 seconds and I think it’s better the second day. The tomato, lettuce and avadaco, ketchup and mustard seem to be better heated up. I’d polish off that half can of beans too but I’m meeting with people today and I’ve yet to test their level of fart humor.
Happy Tuesday………………
My Mom has a thing for reheated Big Macs. I would guess it has time to ripen and the flavors to blend…she too would work nights.
My husbands family will eat leftovers that are WEEKS old, I have a trick stomach that throws up when toxins are ingested, I only save food about 3 days. Lunch meat after 7 us garbage…wait till you throw up ham for three days while you have chills and diarhea…trust me.
Last time I was sick was Easter ham…I hate leftovers.
McDonald’s burgers can be re-heated and eaten up to six months after purchase (even without refrigeration). Here’s proof:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/sallydavies/sets/72157624739645253/
I used to work for a travel agency and we would get upgrade certificates from a certain “American Airline.” One of the managers in our Illinios office was pocketing them and listing them on Ebay for auction. Her downfall was that she didn’t black out the certificate numbers in the photos prior to listing them and the airline was able to trace the certificates back to our agency, and ultimately to her ebay account, which was in her name. She was fired on the spot and the airline threatened to prosecute her. (It’s illegal to sell upgrade certificates).
Needless to say she wasn’t the sharpest pencil in the drawer. (and she was management!!)
I used to work in the liquor department of a big grocery store. Well they sell money orders at the courtesy counter and there were $500 ones going missing, like $4000 worth. They were being redeemed here and there. Now when you buy the money order, the employee or manager who sells it must sign it and they keep the carbon. The way they nailed the guy was they figured out that he was the person who had not signed any of them.