Screaming kids in public used to make me crazy, absolutely crazy, especially during the Atlanta years. It was before I had any screamers of my own, was working hard and playing hard, and had a very low threshold for nonsense.
I was constantly rolling my eyes, and whisper-hollering, “Heeeere we go…”
Then our first child came along, and I became a little more understanding. We never let our kids just scream and scream and scream in public, because, you know, we think of others. But they sometimes cry. It’s a fact of life, and there’s not much you can do to stop it.
So, when we’d be in a restaurant or whatever, and some kid started wailing and it seemed like the parents were making an attempt to deal with it, it didn’t bother me too much. ‘Cause I’d been there, and know how it is. I’d just give them a good-natured “what are you gonna do?” look of solidarity, and calmly go about my business.
I was growing as a person, maturing and calming down. Life experiences change a person, I knew, and I was becoming more worldly and sophisticated.
But now that our boys are a little older, and almost never cause public disturbances anymore, I’m right back to square one. Screaming kids make me crazy again, absolutely crazy. And I routinely whisper-holler, “Heeeere we go…” like it’s 1995.
Just thought you’d want to know. I guess I ain’t got no sophistication, after all?
I mentioned that Toney and I are re-watching The Sopranos, from the beginning. We just started Season 4, and haven’t seen most of the episodes since they originally aired on HBO.
The first three seasons are stellar, consistently hilarious and fantastic. But by the fourth season, things are starting to get a little wobbly. Mixed-in amongst the moments of genius, are a few clunker episodes — for the first time.
A few nights ago we watched what must be the worst of them all: when Silvio gets all worked-up about Columbus Day. Remember that? Wow! What a turd of an episode. The characters don’t even seem like themselves; they’re all pontificating, and giving wooden speeches about Italian pride and whatnot.
It’s jaw-droppingly bad, especially considering everything that came before.
What do you think are the worst episodes of an otherwise great TV series? Can you think of any? If so, use the comments link to tell us about it.
School started again yesterday, so I’m home alone during the day. Well, me and Black Lips Houlihan… And when I got out of the shower this morning, there was a carpenter’s level in front of the bathroom door. TS? It looked like it had been placed there, on its side and perfectly lined-up.
My heart started pounding, because it was kinda freaky, and I yelled, “Hello?? Is anybody here? What in the candy-striped hell??”
Then I walked around the house making sure the doors were locked, and that some weirdo “visitor” hadn’t arrived while I was soaping-up my mannery glands.
I found nothing unusual, and don’t have any idea how that level got there. It’s usually kept on a shelf above the washer and dryer. So, what the heck? I have no explanation, literally. Will somebody please get George Noory on the phone?
I want to go to New York City. It’s the weather, I think. Fall makes me want to walk around Manhattan all day, eat a wide swath through the city, and drink a few $9 beers after dinner. For some reason this never occurs to me during the summer months. Weird, huh?
There’s a commuter bus that runs between Scranton and NYC several times per day, and I might be aboard one of them soon. Things are getting a little rut-like around here… Funk it.
Are you happy with your name? I guess mine’s OK, although it’s not very imaginative. Jeff, I believe, was one of the most popular boy names of the early ’60s, so my folks didn’t exactly go out on a limb with it.
And if I’d been a girl, they were going to name me Lisa — one of the most popular female names of the era. No Eninen stupidity for my Mom and Dad….
Here’s what “Lisa Kay” would probably look like today, by the way.
I got called Jeff Gay a lot in grade school, by comedy geniuses, and people always say, “What did you say your name was, JFK?” But other than that… it’s not so bad. I would’ve preferred two syllables up-front, though. A pair of one-syllable names is a little choppy, don’t you think?
What about your name? Are you cool with it? Have you ever considered changing it, or do you go by a nickname to hide your real name, or anything like that? Give us a quickie review, if you’re so inclined.
And I think I’m going to call it a day now.
Have a great weekend, my friends.
Not to get all philosophical AWG, but money is a worry of the living not the dying. Yes, the docs gave him a year but they don’t know for sure. It could turn into 2 years or 6 months. Put yourself in his shoes. When it’s your time, what will you be worrying about? Making sure your family is going to be ok without you? Or all the people who owe you? Unless he is really hurting for the money then he will probably refuse to take it from you anyway. Try to pay him back if it will make you feel better but just know that this is your worry and probably not his. You could also pay him back in another way. Is there somewhere he’s always wanted to go? The Grand Canyon? Yellowstone? A cruise? That would probably be very meaningful to him and you as well. He’ll get to see or do something he loves and you’ll have paid your debt and done something really thoughtful as a big send off so to speak.
AWG – Sorry to hear that about your FIL, it sucks when you lose someone you love. Especially to cancer.
As for that other a-hole, if he’s like that, it’s just a matter of time before all that BS he’s spreading catches up to him.
AWG…you don’t by any chance go by Semper_Fi on a tech board do you?
Geoff,
Rod Serling might have something to say about your disturbing level. He might in fact welcome you to to the Twilight Zone. What a great show, that was.
The Reds bled all over CO. It was a messy mess, but not unexpected. They might have given CO their divisiion! Go Reds!
Greg in Cincinati
Stripper name: Bronco
No Chuck, i’m the AngryWhiteGuy everywhere I go. It’s my curse.
RNK- This guy has a retirement fund he is spending up travelling the US. I don’t think I can give him anything he hasn’t already seen. But I do like the “money is a worry of the living not the dying.” thing. That’s fucking awesome!!!! The guy is just my best friend here because he is in my age bracket and he has backed me up in every decision I have ever made involving my life and my marriage to his daughter. I thought about tickets to a Bucs game, where we could go together, but the Bucs are going to suck for years to come, so I might as well take him to a Sarasota High School game.
I have dealt with a lot of death in my life, but this one is going to be hard. I think the money I owe him will be secondary, compared to the amount of sadness it will leave behind for a whole shitload of people.
Thanks for the advise and concern. You too, Shiny.
No IPOD right now, I’m watching the same fucking Spongebob episode I have watched with my daughter at least thirty time.
Have a good weekend invisible friends. You all rock.
It’s weird when you meet an OLD person with a young sounding name, like an old lady named Debbie or Jennifer.
I’m a fan of the TV show “24” but it has gotten a little stupid lately, like they make it up as they go along.
Screaming kids – I heard a loud,shrill scream from a kid in the store yesterday. It made me look up and down each aisle to see who he was. He wasn’t mad, just testing his lungs! I think its funny that kids find that acceptable to do in public. Adults couldn’t get away with it very easily.
So last Saturday me and the boyfriend decide to go to the diner fro breakfast, and its moderately crowded. There was this woman with 2 girls around 8-10 yrs old and they literally screamed (not crying shrieking) the entire time while mom read a magazine and did nothing. Now I was getting pissed that a) they were definitely old enough to know somewhat how to act in public b) that the mother ignored it. I was ready to go hand her my bill for ruining my breakfast.!
AWG-Cancer sucks. Sorry to hear about your friend and father in law. I do owe my father money that he has refused to take back because 1) the rate of interest I pay him is better than a CD and 2) he feels like he has some mad money stashed, even though the family is well aware of the loan. He is 79 and may have 10 days or 20 years you never know at that age but I know come the day after his funeral there will be 3 sisters and BIL’s outside my door demanding that I pay the estate back, as RNK so elegantly stated, “money is a concern for the living…”, and they will be concerned. Enjoy what little time you have with your friend and be there for your “child bride”, not much else you can do. Peace my invisible friend.
Did you know- Invisible friends or more likely to piss you off than imaginary friends!
wow AWG, I had a boss like that and it SUCKED. I was supposed to be able to read his mind and think like him (as if I wanted to be that f**ked up) and do exactly as he told me, not as he did. I finally gave him 30 days notice, worked 2 1/2 weeks and left. Then he was pissed at me for not staying the whole 30 days. He has since lost all of his employees and from what I hear is losing his house. F**ktard
screaming kids, never had a problem with mine so I can’t understand how people let them scream in public. MAKE THEM BEHAVE! and while we are at it I DON”T WANT TO LISTEN TO YOUR DOG BARK!
My stripper name: “Dok Race”
Did yall hear about that guy in an Atlanta Wal-Mart last week who encountered some screaming kid and told the mother, “Shut her up or I’ll shut her up.” Then he smacked her around (the kid) a bit? Just curious. They took him to jail.
AWG — sorry to hear about your father-in-law / friend. I completely agree with RNK that money is a concern of the living. He probably looks at at the $2000 loan as a gift to his daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren anyway. Even if he doesn’t take the money, attempting to pay him back says a lot about your character. It would be reassuring for him to be reminded that his daughter married a good man and will be taken care of when he’s gone.
Taking your FIL on a nice trip is indeed a wonderful idea. Or simply stepping in when things start to get really rough and making sure all the bills get paid on time, doing some grocery shopping or cooking when the step-in is busy caring for your FIL, taking your FIL to appointments, having dinner together every Sunday, sneaking him a really good beer when the doc says he shouldn’t indulge. There are lots of little things that you can do that might be overlooked in a time of crisis.
As for your little genius, I would suggest eventually having her mentor or tutor another child, maybe someone younger or struggling a little bit. A child’s mind works so differently from an adult’s, and even the best teachers can forget that. It is beneficial for a kid to hear something explained from another kid’s point of view — sort of like “Here’s how I learned this. This is how I made sense of this.” Your daughter would learn a whole new set of skills in the process. Hope for patience and compassion because the gifted children I know tend to take things for granted when learning comes easy.
My other suggestion is to turn her loose in the public library. And if you live near a college or university library, even better. Find a topic that she likes and help her research and read everything she can find on the subject. Get her to walk through the stacks and put her little hands on the books, flip through the pages, look at a table of contents, an index, etc., just like in the olden days. Tactile learning is a part of the experience. Yes, it takes more time than using the Internet, but bear in mind how quickly the Internet rots little, developing brains. Oh, and read, read, read.
AWG, the fact that you’re struggling with the whole topic of the loan repayment speaks volumes. There are so many children and In-children out there that take these things for granted. Based on your previous ramblings, your honesty and vulnerability here and your taste in music (i.e. closing a post with np: Tool as opposed to say Hall and Oats…ah-em-Jeff-gay-ah-em) I have no doubt that your friend gets it too. Of course, under the rule of man you must both continue to offer/refuse the money.
The words from Brynhildr and RNK are beautiful and the reason I read comments. (Well, that and Jason’s cheese fucking jokes.) How curious that among a community of jokers lies such heart warming wisdom.
Either that or you could always lose the money to him in a poker game. Of course you actually have to lose, not “lose”. I’m sure you both know the difference.
My father gave me the name George after his father; it’s a rather boring tale if you ask me. My mother decided to use more originality. Being from Detroit, she loved the name Ty after Ty Cobb. She didn’t, however, like that the nickname stood for Tyrus so she opted for Tyson.
I hated George so much I refused to lean to spell it until I was forced to in the first grade. In contrast, I love the originality of Ty, but Tyson has had its drawbacks. Particularly with Tyson chicken, Cecile Tyson & Mike Tyson…although it was cool my older brothers name was Mike.
Later…
…oh yea, and on my phone streaming from my home, ‘Haitian Divorce’ by Steely Dan, which is, of course, my stripper name.
We went to a party last night and I have to tell you guys about this. About six or eight of us guys were hanging out around the television and whenever someone’s wife would walk by this one guy would make absurdly inappropriate comments. He was somewhat drunk but not drunk enough to slur.
He’d say shit like, “I’d like to row row row her boat. Does she shave down there or is she a sascrotch? Does she ever take it in the ass?” And shit like that. Everyone else was outraged but I was having a hard time not pissing myself from laughter. Maybe it was everyone else’s reaction or maybe just the fact that he was so off the wall. Whatever it was, I thought it was some funny shit.
Jason – Comments about another man’s wife in their presence is bad juju. That’s the start of many bar room fights. That’s up there with comments about someones mom. He’s lucky one of the guys didn’t clock him. Now that would have been funny.
AWG – In addition to what others have said, I would add that whatever you can do for your FIL’s wife will be greatly appreciated by your FIL. We often forget the caregivers.
I don’t know, SR, sascrotch is pretty fuckin’ funny, and funny has saved many from well deserved beat downs.
AWG…I’m so sorry about your father-in-law. How terrible for your family. Your wife must be heartbroken.
The fact that you’re worried about owing him money says so much for your character. Most people wouldn’t even give it a second thought. If it would make you feel better, discuss it with him. I’m guessing he’ll tell you not to worry about it. I’m sure he was just happy to be able to help you guys out when you lost your job.
Miss KIA was a gifted child. She was bored in school and had difficulty focusing on her work. She’d work ahead and went through the work books we bought her like crazy.
The teacher didn’t reprimand Miss KIA if she worked ahead. Instead she used it to her advantage and had Miss KIA help in the class. She was reading to the class when she was in kindergarten.
I’d suggest that you schedule a conference with the teacher and make her aware of your daughters habits at home and find a way to compromise. The teacher was probably more concerned with what she would be able to come up with to keep your daughter busy than the fact that she’d completed the workbook.
I might be your invisible friend but I’m sure someday we’ll meet in person! Of course you’ve seen pictures of me so you know what I look like while I just have to keep guessing what you look like…LOL
Jason-Sounds like you were on the set of an R rated beer commercial!
My buckeyes gave it there all and came up short. Damn. You can keep your “over rated” comments to yourself.
Now my bastard bengals take the field in just over an hour to kick off what I’m sure will be one of the greatest football seasons ever witnessed by mankind. Who-Dey!!! Yes that is sarcasm! The bottle of Woodford Reserve I nearly drained yesterday has made a bit cranky this morning, peace y’all!
I’ll be the first to admit that I have a very warped sense of humor. But come on, the akwardness of it all, how could I not laugh? And Sascrotch? That’s good stuff.
I would have also laughed if someone had split his lip open or pulled his arm off and beat him with the bleeding end of it.
My diet is going fairly good, by the way. AWG is my inspiration. I had some peanut brittle with the wife the other day and we stuffed ourselves at “The Melting Pot” but other than that I’ve been eating bland shit food. And I’ve been walking with her in the evenings.
So, Jason, are you going to tell us what he said about your wife, or did the guy have the sense to show some respect for a pregnant lady? 😉
And I wanted to add that dieting doesn’t have to be bland food, salads and water. Don’t torture yourselves. There are a lot of good recipes for reduced-fat, reduced-calorie dishes on the Cooking Light website. Desserts too. Deprivation means you’ll just end up eating a whole pizza for lunch one day.
http://www.cookinglight.com/food/kitchen-assistant/
Brynhildr,
Here’s how our exchange went:
Him: I bet she has a sweet baba ganoush.
Me: Yep.
Him: Are those tits real?
Me: Yep.
Him: Good move finding a chick with big natural tits. That puts you ahead by about $5,000 because you don’t have to buy her a pair of silicone bags.
Me: Yep.
Him: I’ve always had a thing for pregnant chicks.
Me: Fuck you, sicko.
What if the street you grew up on is a numbered street? You can’t really go by Joe/Jane 5th. You’d sound like a bottle of whisky…which isn’t entirly bad but just doesn’t have the oomph!
Jason – I know I’m not one to talk but jokes about women in general is one thing. When I gets to a personal level even if it is an off color remark just doesn’t play out in my book regardless of how much alcohol he’s consumed. You have a bit more reserve than I would have had. The exchange would have stopped with the baby ganoush as he was picking himself off the floor and hour later. Then I would have warned him about talking about my wife. Did I mention about the iBoobs?
Dear Diary:
What a friggin week I had.
First thing Wednesday AM, Phone rings. My boss (300 miles away). Pack a bag, drive directly to my office. We have a meeting with conference call at 3:00 PM. Meeting lasts 5 minutes, conference call lasts 5 minutes. Me, my boss, my inside sales rep., and another manager go to mega expensive dinner , then drink until 2:30 AM. Piss drunk.
My inside sales rep and I are handed airline confirmations to fly to Chicago Thurs 8:10 AM flight. Check in to Marriott, sleep 2 hours, shower, cab to airport. I am still drunk.
Chicago meeting at 1:00 PM, lasts 15 minutes. $3.6 Million deal signed. Handed cashier’s check for $1.2 Million deposit from customer. Fold check and stick in my wallet.
Commence drinking, dinner at Loiue’s Chophouse, me and inside sales rep. Dinner bill $356.00. Drunk again.
Friday fly back to Pittsburgh.
Drive to Wheeling, WV. Get drunk bar hopping with many cousins in preparation for a wedding on Saturday,
Saturday, wedding. Piss drunk then more bar hopping until last call at 3:00 AM. My sister is handing out Vicodin like trick-or-treat M&M’s.
Sunday brunch with same hangover crowd of relatives. 6 hour drive back home, painful. Stopped for coffee at every rest area of PA turnpike.
Catch up on 30+ emails and read/comment on WVSR. Shit, tomorrow is Monday already.
My stripper name would be Pop Can Jones.
Good night.
Thanks everyone for the good words. I talked with my father-in-law last night about the repayment and AGAIN, he told me to wait until we get ahead before considering repayment. I know it’s going to be too late by then, but I just thanked him and invited him and his wife over for a low fat, no taste dinner one night this week. Ironically, he’s on the same diet that I am.
Week one of NFL under the belt. Colts squeaked by Jags, but it’s a win. Bucs are preparing for the 3-13 season they are going to suffer. Hit 13 of fourteen right in the office pool. 80 people play in this thing, so I am among the frontrunners for the $100 pot. Two more in the bag tonight. Damn, I missed football.
Broke another finger on the court this weekend too. They’ve all been broken at least once now from sports injuries or hitting stuff. I swear my hands look like the Cryptkeeper’s.
Again, thanks everyone. You guys are the best.
On IPOD right now- “Whores”- Jane’s Addiction
Here’s some irony. I was listening to “People Who Died” on the IPOD and clicked onto TBO.com and saw that Jim Carroll had died. Weird.
No big problem with my name, except it’s Charlie not Charles. When I was growing up, I always heard, “put your real name down Charles.” “I did my name is Charlie, and so on.
OK, he died, like three days ago, and no report until yesterday. Weird, right? Does anyone know who I am talking about?
Wait till Patrick Swayze dies. The news agencies will report that immediately.
On IPOD right now- “Flesh Is The Law “- Genitorturers
Larry Gelbart died on Friday.
He wrote ” A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum.”
He was also involved with Oh God and Toostie.
Plus create M*A*S*H.
AWG — are you still talking about Jim Carroll or do you mean bin Laden’s brother?
Hehe…Me speaky english no good….
What I MEANT to say is that he helped create M*A*S*H for television…
Bin Laden had 54(?) brothers. It’s like putting back the cocoa puffs before the checkout so the kids won’t notice. Bin Laden prolly doesn’t even notice he’s gone.
On IPOD right now- “It’s Gonna Kill Me”- Filter
brynhildr- yes, I was still talking about Jim Carroll. As a punk music connoisseur, I am a little depressed by this.
AWG-Had to use google to figure it out, and I don’t think I’ve ever read or heard any of his work. As I’ve stated here before, my music list is pretty short, I suppose I should try and broaden it but I don’t know where to start. Maybe you and Jeff and some of the other “enlightened” could put together some “must own” lists fo different genres, i.e. punk, rock, alt, blues…it might make good filler as our friend finishes his future NYT bestseller.
“People Who Died” was the only hit from Carroll, but his teenage life was portrayed by Leonardo Decraprio in a movie called “The Basketball Diaries” Really good movie, in spite of the casting. You should start there, and follow with the music. Some intense shit there.
On IPOD right now- “Don’t Get Lost in Heaven”- Gorillaz
My real name IS a stripper name… I have never liked it. Maybe in the 70’s Ginger seemed exotic and mysterious, but it has always been a total burden. Especially since there is a porn star whose name is EXACTLY the same as my first and middle name. Ugh.