Following my unheard-of fourteen hours of sleep Thursday night, I couldn’t even walk straight. I’m not accustomed to so much dormancy, all at once. It felt like the base of my spine had been rammed into a pencil sharpener, and ground to a fine point.
I was all gnarled-up, and looked like Stephen Hawking while eating my Toaster Strudel. I almost had to have one of the Secrets grab a hanger out of the closet, and fashion me a feeding rack.
But, despite the pain, I couldn’t stand the thought of being home all day again. I asked Toney if she wanted to go “running around,” and she’d been thinking the exact same thing. So, that’s what we did.
We started at the Chinese restaurant, where I enjoyed the #2 lunch combo: cashew chicken. Mighty tasty. The only negative was the molten-hot egg white that slung off my ceramic soup spoon, and adhered to my chin and neck.
Then we drove to the mall, where the boys and I got haircuts. I went with the usual (the 4 and the 2), but begged Toney not to wander off until after the Secrets’ cuts had been agreed-upon. The stylist, or whatever, always asks a million questions a Dad simply cannot answer, and it makes my crack sweat.
While I was in the chair, I noticed my hair clippings are now gray with a little brown mixed-in. A year ago it was the other way around. I’m like a tree in October at this point.
We wandered through the mall afterward, but it was incredibly crowded and no fun whatsoever. We ordered Blizzards from Dairy Queen, and fled that bastard like the building was on fire.
Toney had received a promotional email from Borders books, saying they had “select” Beatles CDs on sale for $9.99. So we took the bait, and I ended up buying four of ’em: Sgt. Pepper, Abbey Road, Help!, and Let It Be. I used some of the Christmas money my folks sent me, and exposed the boys to even more essential greatness.
I used to be a black belt Beatles fanatic, but got burned-out somewhere along the line. And when the CDs were finally released, years after they should’ve been, I only had lukewarm interest. Now I’m playing catch-up.
Best Buy advertised the complete series box set of The Wire for $89.99, and I was toying with the idea of plunking down some more Christmas money, and buying it. Toying with the idea, but also having second thoughts… Ninety dollars is a lot of money, and I was secretly relieved when the store had none in stock. It removed the burden of having to make a decision.
I ended up buying the three remaining seasons of Curb Your Enthusiasm we needed, for about seventeen dollars each. And while the guy was ringing up the purchase, Toney told us to wait and miraculously pulled a $15 coupon from her bottomless purse. So, I got three seasons of Larry David, for twelve bucks each. Is that not excellent? I submit that it is.
The boys were starting to bitch and moan by this point, so we took them home. But Toney and I weren’t finished. I suggested Cooper’s for a couple snooty microbrews, and she said that sounded good. Yeah, I float that idea every weekend (every!), and she usually shoots it down. So I was happy with her answer.
I went with an Anchor OSA winter warmer, then a Sierra Nevada Celebration. I try to only sample beers I’ve never tasted when we go there, but the Celebration is just so damned good… I buy it whenever the opportunity arises. And the Anchor wasn’t half-bad, either.
After dinner I watched The Dark Knight with the Secrets, and thought it was OK, I guess. It’s one of those movies you enjoy while it’s on, and forget almost as soon as it ends. I liked when the guy got half his face sizzled-off, and how he looked afterward. But other than that… I have a feeling I’d like most of these better.
And that was our Friday. On Saturday nothing really happened worth reporting, except my back was still hurting. Toney and I went for a long walk, and I was hoping it would help. But I was still hobbling around like an old lady who hadn’t had a single glass of milk since World War II.
And now, to follow-up on yesterday’s update about the obscure baseball gift Steve gave me… It was a B from the manufacturing plant that used to make caps for the Dodgers, before their move to Los Angeles. After they left Brooklyn the plant still had a few spare B’s lying around, and fifty years later Steve got his hands on one.
So, how ’bout that? Obscure enough for you? It will eventually be mounted and framed, and displayed in the bunker. Good stuff.
I liked Willie’s guess of an old urinal from Ebbets Field, in yesterday’s comments. Give Steve a little time, and I’m confident he could come up with one. Possibly autographed. With hall of famer urine.
Before I turn it over to not one, but two, of our fine columnists, I need to tell you about the mailing list. I’m switching services, and you’ll soon be receiving an email asking for permission to be added to the list.
Yeah, I know, you’re already subscribed. But the new service-provider isn’t going to take my word on it. They’re very worried about spammers using their system, so we’ll all have to jump through the hoops again. Therefore, if you want to continue to be notified about Nancy updates, etc., please click the approval link. Believe me, it’ll be painless and you won’t see an increase in spam, or anything of the sort.
Do it for the children! Or for yourself, whatever.
And I’ll leave you now with something new from both Buck and Metten. Thanks guys! Excellent, as always.
See ya tomorrow.
are you kiddin’ me, First?
Son of Sam says
Beatles burnout can it be? Sadly yes…My collection imported into iTunes had not been heard in at least a year and a half…
curse the slow hijacked wiffy – i could’ve been first!!!
i spent most of my xmas money yesterday on some really good kitchen knives. the rest will be spent on a new year’s day bar crawl…
Bill in PA says
Fourth, out of the medals.
Nice tee shirt.
Good Afternoon Surf Reporters……….
Since I didn’t catch yesterday’s update yesterday, I feel overly blessed with two updates in one day.
Son of Sam!! We need to get together again, knock back a few cold ones and shoot the shit. What say?
I love mister goodbar.
No respect, I tells ya.
Nice tee shirt! Thanks.
” An old lady who hadnt had a glass of milk since WWII” Classic!
got my shirts, too. Thanks!
I used a lot of my xmas gift cards to buy other presents (and a few things for myself). Is that wrong?
Got my shirt today, Thanks!
I wouldn’t go near a mall if I had 90% off coupons, Its all frazzled people who didn’t get what they wanted for christmas, bitchin and moanin their way through life and wrestling for crap thats on Clearance.
Shiny Rod says
Top Twenty! yaaaa! ! !
Got my shirt. Christmas is now complete.
I spent my Christmas money on cocaine and suchlike.
I’d like to change my mailing list email address. Will we be able to sign up to the new system using the link on the homepage?
Buck, also in yellow is Oh Henry! So did your buddy get change?
Shiny Rod says
Jason – ANYTHING you say may be used against you in a court of law. Thankfully, I reached my quota this weekend or I’d have to give you a visit. Just foolin Jason, or am I? . . .
Evil Twin's Wife says
We just got home from the Corridor G Wal-Mart and I’m pretty sure we could have won the Wal-Mart game in the parking lot prior to even *entering* the store. I’m pretty sure the whole family will need to be treated for PTSD now.
I’m back at work today after 3 weeks off. I’d rather be repeatedly slamming my tit in a car door.
Shiny Rod says
If they (Hersheys, the owners of the name now) would just bring back the Powerhouse Bar, all would be right with the world and peace would guide the planet. Or am I just wishing? OH God, wheres that bottle of Evan. Time for some single malt scotch again. Tiff, will you hold me and sing to me whilest I drink the blues away?
Jeff – Keep buying those great Northern California Beers, of which I have had both. I guess our Beer is catching up with our wine reputation. Cheers!
Shiny Rod says
ETW – I have avoided even getting near a WalMart in fear of seeing PTSD people.
Brandy – A tit is a terrible thing to waste. I only took a week off and I feel like slamming my… well you know. But it goes away after a couple days.
Shiny Rod says
Larry – egads no! Ernest and Julio are rolling their graves now…
Matt K says
Hey – I got my shirt. It’s awesome… thanks
WooHoo! – shirts made it to the left coast! Outstanding Mr. Kay
Dudley Dawson (Booger) says
Always nice to hear from Buck. Maybe in his honor we should all buy a bunch of Mr. Goodbars and pass them out to the deserving homeless at the end of freeway ramps.
The shirt arrived today. Awesome, just as advertised!
WIllie Williams says
Wow, gotta nod from Mr. Kay today. I wasn’t kidding either, there is nothing like not having to wait your turn or having three guys standing next to each other doing the cross piss stream fights. As long as they keep their eyes looking forward.
Great update Buck.
why does everyone overate the beatles?
IS your mangina botherin’ you?
And Metten, what can I say, You seem to have discovered the “Walkin Vagina”….. LMAO…
Trade ya an apple for it !
Mark….I have no mangina. Shut up, or I WILL open a can of whoop ass on you.
Metten had two manginas……just sayin’
Had? As in past tense? Where did they go?
Manginas, Gooodbars, tit slamming, and an offer to hold someone while they get drunk. A day away means a girl misses a LOT around these parts.
Buck, if Metten HAD two manginas, where are they now? Can you trade them in? And if you do, who would buy your old one?
Sadly we don’t have Goodbar’s up here.
Last night I went to the dollar store (that’s Canadian dollars, so 80 cent store for Americans). They had bags of holiday-colored mint-flavored chocolate M&M’s. I had never seen these before. And they were only a dollar. I believe they will become my new Christmas tradition.
Son of Sam says
Jason would buy all the old ones for patterns.
Shiny Rod says
Son of Sam – especially if they were asian manginas.
Okay, I could try to lie my way out of this with some partially witty explanation—-but truthfully it was a typo. So, let’s start again.
“Metten HAS two manginas…..just sayin'”
There, all better. No you may proceed to bust on Metten.
Also tiff, I think a used uh, er PRE-OWNED mangina is probably the perfect pick-me-up for one who’s just slammed a tit in a car door. Yeah–a real Hallmark moment.