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Reasons For Admission: Every One of Us Could’ve Been Locked Away in an Insane Asylum

October 28, 2013 By Jeff 29 Comments

weston hospital

West Virginia Hospital for the Insane (Weston)
October 22, 1864 to December 12, 1889

These are actual justifications, taken from official records, for admission of patients into the luxurious (I’m certain) and delicately named West Virginia Hospital for the Insane, during the years following the Civil War.

Besides being comedy gold, I have little doubt that, in the right hands, this list could provide the basis for a dandy drinking game. At the very least, it’s fun to peruse the checklist and realize that each and every one of us could’ve found our sorry asses incarcerated in a nineteenth century nuthouse. Hell, just last night after dinner I provided a half-dozen “reasons for admission” myself. Have fun!

Grief
Constitutional
Asthma
Domestic trouble
The War
Sun Stroke
Masturbation for 30 years
Trouble
Dissipation of nerves
Fever and nerved
Interferance
Intemperence & Business Trouble
Fever
Jealousy
Exposure in Army
Self Abuse
Venerial Excesses
Puerperal
Shooting of daughter
Parents were cousins
Exposure and hereditary
Uterine derangement
Death of sons in war
Imprisonment
Political excitement
Fever and loss of law suit
Gastritis
Desertion by husband
Sexual Derangement
Feebleness of intellect
Rumor of husband’s murder
Mental excitement
Disappointment
Jealousy and Religion
Seduction and Disappointment
Severe labor
Disappointed love
Fits and disertion of husband
Suppressed masturbation
Deranged masturbation
Hard study
Dropsy
Effusion on the brain
False confinement
Sexual abuse and stimulants
Excitement as Officer
Fall from horse
Disappointed affection
Cold
Indigestion
Brain Fever
Carbonic Acid Gas
Exposure and quackery
Spinal irritation
Snuff eating for 2 years
Periodical fits, tobacco & masturbation
Hysteria
Female Disease
Fell from horse in war
Exposure in Army
Self Abuse
Religious Enthusiasm
The War
Dissolute habits
Loss of arm
Ill treatment by husband
Scarlatina
Small Pox
Hereditary predisposition
Epileptic fits
Supression of menses
Decoyed into the Army
Kicked in the head by a horse
Superstition
Bite of rattlesnake
Dog bite
Snuff
Novel reading
Egotism
Salvation Army
Imaginary female trouble
Diptheria
Over taxing mental powers
Vicious vices early in life
Bloody flux
Politics
Women
Nymphomania
Moral sanity
Greediness
Time of life
Cerebral softening
Gunshot wound
Liver and Social Disease
Seduction
Kick of horse
Softening of the brain
Menstrual deranged
Business nerves
Masturbation & syphillis
Gathering in the head
Bad company
Sunstroke
Carbuncle
Over Heat
Bad habits & political excitement
Domestic affliction
Pecuniary losses
Worms
Congestion of brain
Remorse
Milk fever
Opium habit
Crime
Excessive sexual abuse
Fighting fire
Bad whiskey
Women trouble
Over action of the mind
Explosion of shell nearby
Marriage to son
Medicine to prevent conception
Over study of religion
Immoral Life
Young lady and fear
Laziness

Please note: This is a repeat of something I posted years ago at the old FrontPage site. My friend Rocky used to work in that so-called hospital, and sent me the information above. Just as an FYI… the original name of the facility was the Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum. Heh. Folks certainly had a way with words back then, didn’t they?

What would you add, from a modern perspective? Please use the comments link below.

And I’ll see you guys again soon!

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Filed Under: Daily

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Ognir says

    October 28, 2013 at 1:24 pm

    And now you can pay money and tour the place. Someone even told me you can spend the night there.

    Reply
  2. Dogberryjr says

    October 28, 2013 at 1:35 pm

    Masturbation for 30 years? Dude, sometimes you just have to admit it’s not going to happen and move on to something else.

    Reply
    • madz1962 says

      October 28, 2013 at 2:10 pm

      Let’s not forget: Suppressed masturbation, Deranged Masturbation, Masturbation and Syphillis, and Periodical fits, Tobacky and Masturbation.

      Reply
  3. Doug says

    October 28, 2013 at 1:40 pm

    I didn’t see “chronic mourning”, which may happen to me since there was a fire at our local Yuengling brewery.

    Reply
    • WB in OH says

      October 29, 2013 at 12:30 pm

      NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

      Reply
  4. Jeff says

    October 28, 2013 at 1:44 pm

    Foreigner I can understand, but Bad Company?

    Reply
  5. T-STORM says

    October 28, 2013 at 2:08 pm

    Snuff for 2 yrs, masturbating for 30. Apparently some things you get a little more credit for.

    Reply
  6. T-STORM says

    October 28, 2013 at 2:11 pm

    Being too heavy of a francis
    Blog neck
    Box-Score Dystrophy
    Black Lips Crueller
    Banana Nostrils
    Go Fuck Yourselfishness

    Reply
  7. madz1962 says

    October 28, 2013 at 2:12 pm

    Over Action of Mind and Novel Reading? We’re all fucked.

    Reply
  8. Schmegman says

    October 28, 2013 at 2:36 pm

    “Masturbation for 30 years”: You are supposed to call a doctor after four hours.

    Reply
    • Chuck in Belpre says

      October 29, 2013 at 5:25 pm

      Or Mikey Cyrus’ agent.

      Reply
      • Chuck in Belpre says

        October 29, 2013 at 5:26 pm

        Miley… Shit

        Reply
  9. icecycle66 says

    October 28, 2013 at 2:47 pm

    I don’t know man, that’s a pretty good list. I’ll give it a shot.

    Mouse wrist
    Hipster
    Liquid crystal exposure
    Considerate
    Highway Construction
    Drugs
    Under stimulated
    Can read.
    Considered eating left Twix

    Reply
  10. Phantom Railfan says

    October 28, 2013 at 5:08 pm

    Middle School Exposure
    Saw wife bleaching her moustache
    Chick-Fil-A was closed
    Father drove a Yugo
    Stood too close to accordion
    Blown no-hitter
    Dog flatulence

    Reply
  11. bikerchick says

    October 28, 2013 at 5:40 pm

    I saw a program on TV about how their having haunted tours there. Yhey said it’s so “active” no props are needed. I would love to go! I’m into that shit….. which is reason for admission in and of itself. As well as:

    Nose picking
    Biting toe nails
    Drank directly from cow’s utter
    Flung poo
    Tongue wagging

    Reply
  12. chill says

    October 28, 2013 at 5:58 pm

    Was made to suffer fools.
    Weakened by bad music.
    .

    Reply
  13. John Smith says

    October 28, 2013 at 5:59 pm

    That list just sounds like a good Tuesday night.

    Reply
  14. Icecycle66 says

    October 28, 2013 at 6:09 pm

    “Imaginary female trouble”

    Aren’t all problems women have imaginary?

    Reply
    • johnthebasket says

      October 28, 2013 at 6:48 pm

      You misunderstand. The adjective modifies the gender. This is a male problem.

      jtb

      Reply
  15. chip guesman says

    October 28, 2013 at 6:23 pm

    If you can,look up the once banned film Titticut Follies on Youtube. It gives you a first hand look at what went on in these places not that long ago.

    Reply
  16. dto says

    October 28, 2013 at 7:48 pm

    Trusted the Mayans
    Chronic typing in CAPS
    Collecting trombones
    Saving “it” for marriage.
    Drinking lite beer.

    Reply
  17. Andy says

    October 28, 2013 at 7:53 pm

    I don’t understand “trouble”… does that mean you are in trouble or you cause trouble?

    Reply
  18. revashane says

    October 29, 2013 at 6:53 am

    It sounds like a list of side effects from a drug commercial

    Reply
  19. Shiny Rod says

    October 29, 2013 at 11:55 am

    Does this place have any affiliation with the William J. Le Petomane memorial gambling casino or the insane?

    Reply
  20. Never Mind the Bollocks says

    October 29, 2013 at 12:59 pm

    Masturbating to Betty Boop

    Reply
    • chill says

      October 29, 2013 at 7:26 pm

      Hey, she was hot back in the day. And get the hell off my lawn.
      .

      Reply
  21. Gretchen says

    October 29, 2013 at 7:54 pm

    Dial-up cough.

    Incorrigible selfies.

    Bruce Jenner nose.

    Obstruction of the runner.

    Reply
  22. Gretchen says

    October 29, 2013 at 7:58 pm

    And I can’t believe no one mentioned twerking….or was that fruit hanging too low?

    Reply
  23. The Divine Miss E says

    October 30, 2013 at 6:21 am

    “Disappointment”? Shit, check me in.

    I’ve done some reading about these asylums back in the day, and so many people ended up spending most or all of their adult lives there because they either had a bad day and started yelling, or someone didn’t like them and just made up a reason why they needed to be thrown in the bin. This list is a perfect example of made up reasons. Bizarre, a little funny, and also totally horrifying to think that your neighbor could say “He’s disappointed, lock him up!” and they just would.

    Reply

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