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Professional hockey and foul-mouthed doctors

March 18, 2009 By Jeff 89 Comments

penguinslogoThanks to the kindness of Surf Reporter Brian, Toney, the boys, and I will be attending tonight’s Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins game.  The man has connections, many connections, and made arrangements for us to get in for the very agreeable price of nothing.  Pretty cool, huh?

I’m looking forward to it.  I’m not the world’s biggest hockey fan, but have always been interested in seeing a few games live.  I think it’ll be a blast.  …Stay tuned for a full report.

And while enjoying another delicious Marlene Colander frozen meal today, I started thinking about the professional sports teams I’ve watched play at their home stadiums.  I’ve been to quite a few baseball games, but not much beyond that.

Here’s my current list, not including minor league contests:

Baseball
Cincinnati Reds (Riverfront Stadium)
Philadelphia Phillies  (Veterans Stadium)
Pittsburgh Pirates  (Three Rivers Stadium)
Atlanta Braves  (Fulton County Stadium)
New York Yankees  (Yankee Stadium)
Boston Red Sox  (Fenway Park)
San Francisco Giants  (Candlestick Park)
Los Angeles Dodgers  (Dodger Stadium)

Basketball
Atlanta Hawks  (The Omni)
Los Angeles Lakers  (The Forum)

Football
none

Hockey
none

As you can see, most of the stadiums I’ve visited are now gone, or no longer in use.  The two I visited the most, in Cincinnati and Atlanta, have been bulldozed full-on.

I am a relic from a different era.

I’m sure plenty of you have been to more pro sports games than I have.  Give us your lists, in the comments section.  And if Steve’s reading this, you might want to submit yours in .pdf format.  I don’t know if WordPress is equipped to handle the strain of your list.  Sweet Jesus.

Toney and I were talking about something a few days ago, and somehow got onto the subject of profane doctors.

I don’t visit doctors very often, because I’m not really a fan.  I’m always convinced they’ll want to twist a flashlight into my ass.  But two times in my life I’ve encountered cussing medical professionals.  Twice, during very limited exposure.

When we lived in California someone suggested an optometrist in Burbank, so I made an appointment.  He seemed fairly standard, until he had me in the chair with that big see-thru apparatus pressed against my face.

He started flipping lenses around, and asking if each combination improved my vision or made it worse.  Only, that’s not exactly the way he put it.

He’d flick the things for a couple of seconds, then say, “How’s that?  Shitty?  Is this any better?  Did that make it shitty or better?  Any better?  Shitty?  Shitty?  Better?….”

It was bizarre.  Who talks that way, especially to a person right off the street?  I’d never met the man before.  I wasn’t offended, of course, it just made me question the professionalism of this so-called doctor.  I felt an urge to see his diploma, just to be sure.  I had a feeling he might’ve ordered it out of the back of Rolling Stone.

But he turned out to be really good, and took great care of my problematic eyes.  That first visit, however, left me scratching my tiny Duke head.  Shitty?

Also in California (is a pattern developing?), our second son was born, via C-Section.  I was in the room while the procedure took place, standing far enough behind the partition so I wouldn’t have to see anything ripping apart.

There were two docs there and, I kid you not, they made a golf date while extracting our baby.  I fought an urge to holler:  “Would you guys please focus?!  This is kind of a big deal!”

But everything went well, and after Secret 2 joined us, one of the doctors asked if I wanted to cut the umbilical cord.  I told him I’d pass, and he said, “Oh, don’t be such a pussy!”

I couldn’t believe it.  A pussy?!  Does Buck have a brother who’s a doctor in California??  It was all said in a joking way, but I wasn’t exactly buckled-over in laughter.

A nurse pressed some scissors into my hand, and I did cut the cord — against my  will.  And it felt like I was trying to saw through raw steak.  Blecch.

But, pussy?  It’s still amazing to me.

Have you had any unusual experiences with doctors?  Has anything baffling happened, like with my foul-mouthed eye doctor, or our trash-talking baby-remover?  Use the comments section to tell us all about it.

And I’m gonna cut this one a little short (like an umbilical).  Both boys are home from school now, and are playing “music” in their rooms.  It feels like I’m typing in the middle of a Best Buy store.

But tomorrow I’ll tell you all about our big-time hockey adventure.  Should be fun!

See ya then.

Now playing in the bunker.

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Comments

  1. Jorge says

    March 18, 2009 at 5:04 pm

    I don’t recall any swearing MD’s, but if I didn’t think a surgeon was concentrating while taking a knife to a loved one I think I might have actually asked them to focus.

    On the other hand, I have been in the OR now, and I have seen the Doc work and talk and it seemed like he did a fine job.

    On to the sports thing…

    MLB:
    Detroit Tigers (Tiger Stadium and Comerica Park)

    NFL:
    Detroit Lions (Silver dome and Ford Field)
    Buffalo Bills (Whatever the name was in Jan, 93)

    NHL
    Red Wings (Joe Louis Arena, season ticket holder for 3 Stanley cups)
    Boston Bruins (Boston Garden)

    NBA
    Detroit Pistons (Palace of Auburn Hills and Silver Dome)

    NASCAR:
    Michigan International Speedway (Grandstand and Pits)

    College Hockey:
    FSU Bulldogs (Taggart Arena? and the Joe Louis Arena)

    College Football
    FSU Bulldogs (Top Taggart Field and Valpariso)
    Univ. of Michigan (The Bug House)

    My little brother and two of his college buddies went to the Superbowl in ’95 (49er’s-Chargers) in Tampa. They were there because they won the Ocean Spray National Tabletop Football Championship. Seriously, it was even on ESPN 2 at 3AM or so.

    Reply
  2. ashton says

    March 18, 2009 at 5:06 pm

    Damn, I forgot the A’s (Coliseum, Oakland) too.

    Reply
  3. Gretchen says

    March 18, 2009 at 5:45 pm

    Oh, we’re doing college events now?

    University of Cincinnati Bearcats vs. Ohio University Bobcats (Fifth Third Arena)

    Way up in the nosebleed seats and unfortunately right next to a heifer who was vigorously grazing her nachos and commandeering half of my seat with her unruly ass fat. Thanks for letting me relive the memory, Surf Reporters!! Ugh.

    Reply
  4. Joe T. says

    March 18, 2009 at 6:00 pm

    MLB
    Yankee Stadium
    Shea
    The Vet
    Three Rivers for the MLB All Star Game
    Olympic Stadium,,,saw Pedro pitch a 1 hitter for Les Expos

    NFL
    The Vet
    Giants Stadium (for both Giants and Jets

    NBA
    Spectrum
    Meadowlands…to see Jordan and the Bulls

    NHL
    Madison Square Garden
    Meadowlands

    Racing
    Pocono, Dover (NASCAR)
    Nazareth, Pocono, Watkins Glen (Indycar)
    Montreal, Mexico City (Formula One)

    Reply
  5. Taiwan On says

    March 18, 2009 at 6:35 pm

    I am sure this will not be interesting to the WVSR readers, but it was very therapeutic for me….

    MLB

    Boston Red Sox (Fenway Pahk) (that’s right, Pahk)
    Los Angeles Dodgers (Chavez Ravine)
    Colorado Rockies (Coors Field)
    San Francisco Giants (Steroids Stadium)

    NFL

    New England Patriots (all of the stadiums)
    Los Angeles Raiders (Coliseum)

    NBA

    Boston Celtics (The Gahden and whatever they are calling the new arena these days)
    Los Angeles Lakers (the Fabulous Forum)

    NHL

    none

    As Jeff would say, I’m sensing a theme here. Boston. L.A. Interesting duality.

    Reply
  6. Lea says

    March 18, 2009 at 6:55 pm

    I grew up in a very small town in S.D., our town doctor(only one) was also the corrinor, and dabbed as a vet when people were healthy. My first visit as a “female” for the initiation to the humiliation of woman hood, He causualy looked up from between my knees and said “I’ve got a cold, I can’t smell a thing, Have you noticed any odor lately? Yep, died right there.

    Reply
  7. chill says

    March 18, 2009 at 7:25 pm

    I’m the opposite of a sports fan, yet I’ve been to see the Mets at Shea, Yankees at Yankee Stadium, and the Cubs at Wrigley. Cheap seats all, and no visits since the early 1970s. About five years ago I had several days of work in a building across the street from Fenway, mostly while games were in progress. Yeah, I didn’t think that counted. So far I’ve managed to stay football-free.

    I’ve never had a doctor utter any form of profanity in my presence, but I think more of them should. You know, lighten up the mood a little.

    Reply
  8. Airandee says

    March 18, 2009 at 7:28 pm

    NFL:
    Many PGH Steelers games (3 Rivers and Heinz Field) including an AFC championship win against the colts.
    PGH Steelers vs Redskins (FEDEX Field)

    MLB:
    Countless Pirate Games (3 Rivers and PNC Park)
    Nationals (Nationals Park (Note Fancy Stadium name)

    NASCAR – Richmond International Speedway

    NHL:
    Penquins (Civic Arena/Mellon Arena/Igloo)
    Capitals (MCI Center)

    Fiesta Bowl 1984 – Pitt Versus Ohio State @Sun Devil Stadium.
    Awesome game: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1984_Fiesta_Bowl

    Reply
  9. Mike in OH says

    March 18, 2009 at 7:32 pm

    After injuring my wrist at work, they sent me to a doctor who is a world renown hand specialist. He walks into the exam room and says, “Sorry I’m late. The guy in the last room got his hand stuck in a combine. It’s all fucked up.” A very excellent doctor.

    Reply
  10. Malcolm says

    March 18, 2009 at 8:32 pm

    OK, baseball:

    New York Yankees in the old (unrenovated) Yankee Stadium
    Boston Red Sox in Fenway Park (twice)
    Cincinnati Reds in Riverfront Stadium (a game to remember)
    Seattle Mariners in the original Kingdome
    Chicago Cubs at Wrigley Field (day game, skipping work)
    Chicago White Sox at old Comiskey Park (twice)

    Football:

    L.A. Rams in Anaheim Stadium

    Basketball:

    Boston Celtics at the Hartford Civic Center (counted as a home game)
    Chicago Bulls at the old Chicago Stadium
    L.A. Lakers at the Staples Center

    Hockey:

    Chicago Blackhawks at the old Chicago Stadium
    New England Whalers at the Hartford Civic Center (WHL)

    Man, I am fuckin’ old. The WHL, for chrissake.

    I went to a urologist who had to check the blood flow in my testicles. With his hands all over my junk, he says its normal for everything to be shrinking cos, hey, we just met, right? No cussing, but I thought that comment was weird as hell. He wound up doing surgery on the wrong nut.

    Reply
  11. mr.moo says

    March 18, 2009 at 8:57 pm

    Atlanta Fulton County Stadium ya’ll

    NLCS – 92 – Sid Bream – The Slide – Braves Win Braves Win Braves Win

    ’nuff said

    Fired a Dr. once – he came in all huffy, “you’re ruiing my lifeuh” attitude – I explaine why I was there and he launches into a disinterested “it’s all your fault, re-engineer your very existence, I can’t believe you’re bothering me” speil – it wasn’t, different story and I can understand anyone in most any profession having a bad day but this was a TAD over the top – so I stop him in mid-lecture and simply say “you’re a dick – you have no talent for this – you’re fired, I’ll find someone else to treat me”.

    He looked like I’d hit him with a turd-festooned cinderblock “Wha.. wha… did you say?”

    “You’re a dick. You have no business practicing medicine. I don’t believe doctors are gods, and you’re a self-righteous little prick in a shitty lab coat. Bye bye”

    I think he wet himself. Hope it changed his life.

    Reply
  12. Tammie says

    March 18, 2009 at 9:39 pm

    My doctor, Dr.Butt Pirate as I so fondly call him, would NEVER cuss but puts up with my rudeness and crudeness…

    He deserves a medal.

    Reply
  13. Peter says

    March 18, 2009 at 10:16 pm

    NFL
    Packers – numerous times at Lambeau (including a -30 degree game)
    Steelers – 3 Rivers (used to room with Gary Anderson’s brother)
    Redskins – JKC Stadium

    MLB
    Orioles – saw Cal Ripkin hit game-winning HR

    NBA
    Washington Bullets, er, Wizards – saw MJ in his final year
    Pistons in Auburn Hills

    NASCAR
    Richmond

    Indy
    Richmond – Danika looks better without a firesuit

    Miscellaneous
    Columbus GA Arena Football (Vipers)
    Columbus GA Hockey (Cottonmouths)
    Columbus GA Baseball (Catfish)
    Tuskegee-Morehouse Football Classic in, you guessed it, Columbus GA

    Reply
  14. mountie9wv says

    March 18, 2009 at 11:10 pm

    I live in WV so:

    WVU Mountaineers at Mountaineer Field and Coliseum.
    Others that don’t count.

    Once told my wife’s doctor, who happens to be one of my best friend’s dad, that if he didn’t fix her sore neck (as we were leaving for vacation), I wouldn’t be getting road head. He just shook his head in disgust. I laughed like a hyena.

    Reply
  15. Big Bear In OH says

    March 18, 2009 at 11:54 pm

    Well let’s see…when playing HS football, I had a sideline team doc tell me that I “Broke the fuck out of your shoulder–you should really have somebody look at that–oh wait, that’s my job” and the ER doc tell me that “shit don’t bend like that, son”.

    As for a list of stadiums, here goes:

    NBA: Cleveland Cavaliers at the Q and Gund (Same place, totally different team)

    NFL: Browns Stadium–both new and old
    Steelers at Three Rivers
    Cincy at whatever they’re calling it this year

    Hockey: Blue Jackets at Nationwide
    Cleveland Lumberjacks (Semi-pro?) at home

    Soccer: Columbus Crew vs LA Galaxy @ Crew Stadium
    Also was involved in a soccer riot there vs Chicago…good times.

    Indy Cars at Mid-Ohio, Cleveland GP, and Indianapolis 500
    Nascar at MMS (Trucks) and Talladega (cars)

    Baseball: Cubs @ wrigley, Indians at the Jake, Cincy at both, and Pittsburgh on July 4’th for the best fireworks 1997 had to offer.

    College Football: Ohio Stadium for 2 seasons, U of M–the big library, Notre Dame, Ohio U, Ohio Northern, Toledo, Bowling Green, Akron, Miami of Ohio, Florida, and strolled past a Louisville football game once.

    Misc.–I’ve seen Professional Bull Riding three times, and amateurs hundreds more.

    I spend a lot on tickets, I’ve noticed.

    Reply
  16. bino in nh says

    March 19, 2009 at 1:37 am

    NBA:

    Knicks vs Buffalo Braves at the New Haven Coliseum
    (preseason–Ernie D’s first pro game…1973)

    Celtics at OLD and NEW Boston Garden multiple times

    NHL:
    Bruins at Old and New Garden (The old place was BUILT for Hockey and Boxing)

    Football:

    Patriots at Old Foxboro Stadium and new Giulette, including last year’s AFC Championship where they beat the Chargers then choked on 18-0

    LA Raiders at the Coliseum (The Bo Jackson “You’re in my way so I think I’ll run you over, you undersized Denver Bronco safety” game)

    Harvard vs Yale (THE Game)
    at Harvard 1982
    at The Yale Bowl (best football stadium everrrrrrr) 2007

    Inaugural XFL game NY-NJ vs Las Vegas at Sam Boyd Stadium in Vegas

    Baseball:

    Yankees-Tigers doubleheader 7/2/78 at Yankee Stadium (gone)
    (Guidry wins opener to start season 13-0; Goose gets a save and a win in the nightcap)

    Fenway to see the Sox ((Worst baseball seats in that place…)

    Mariners at the Kingdome (gone)

    Giants at Candlestick (froze my ass off….in AUGUST!) I saw a game in Fenway in April one year when it started snowing, and it wasn’t as cold as the Stick on a windy August night)

    Cubs at Wrigley vs Braves

    Wht Sox at Old Comiskey (gone)

    Orioles at Camden

    Reply
  17. Son of Sam says

    March 19, 2009 at 6:58 am

    Pirates three rivers and P.N.C.
    Penguins season ticket holder.
    Steelers three rivers and Hienz.
    Cleveland Browns vs. Steelers at old shit hole in the land of Cleve.
    Indians at the Jake ..nice field.
    Nascar Charlotte and Indy
    Indy 500 ’83
    NHRA
    Columbus
    Norwalk
    The Strip at Vegas .. real nice.
    Gainesville just this past weekend.

    Reply
  18. Buck says

    March 19, 2009 at 7:00 am

    Cincinnati Reds (Riverfront)
    Cincinnati Reds (Great American)
    Pittsburgh Pirates (Three-Rivers)
    Pittsburgh Steelers (Mountaineer Field)
    Chicago Bulls (Thompson Boling Arena)
    NASCAR (Bristol Motor Speedway)
    NASCAR (Talledega)
    BassMaster Classic (Solider Field)
    BassMaster Classic (Superdome)
    BassMaster Classic (Greensboro Arena (or whatever))
    BassMaster Classic (The Igloo, Pittsburgh)

    Okay, I don’t get out much–but they are pro sports damn it!!! Sort of.

    Jeff is a pussy.

    Dr. Buck–out

    Reply
  19. Buck says

    March 19, 2009 at 7:04 am

    Well, hell, since we’re adding college teams….

    Tennessee Vols (Neyland Stadium)
    West Virginia Mountianeers (Mountianeer Field)
    Virginia Tech Hokies (Lane Stadium)
    West Virginia Mountianeers (WVU Colisieum)
    Tennessee Vols (Tompson Boling –First Game Ever)
    Tennessee Vols (Stokley Center)
    NC State (Carter-Finley Stadium)

    Wel, yeah–it’s a pretty shitty list.

    Buck Out

    Reply
  20. Zazu says

    March 19, 2009 at 7:43 am

    Waaaay back when I was young and still naive I went to see good old doc who had been in business since Christ was a kid. The décor was straight out of the 60’s and obviously was original. Gazing rapturously at the ceiling, he did the obligatory breast exam while his cigarette smoke nurse watched disinterestedly over his shoulder. Suddenly he stops and asks, “Know where I learned this?”

    I gulped and timidly answered, “Med school?”

    “Nope! Back of my dad’s Ford.”

    I was so young I didn’t know what to say….

    Reply
  21. bikerchick says

    March 19, 2009 at 9:00 am

    On sports ….the only thing I have is the Steelers and Bucs at both Three Rivers and Heinz.

    However, on the doctor side of things…holy shit…I could write a book considering I have worked for the greedy bastards for over 25 years. The one that sticks out in my mind though?…..
    …I worked for a “very professional” plastic surgeon who was seeing a very shy teenager for the fist time about a breast reduction, with mother in tow. Now, let me just tell you…when the good Lord passed out tits…this poor girl stood there long enough to take out a mortgage. Fixated on the gigantious size during the quick but necessary examination, he blurts out, “You have come to the right place…we can definately do something about the size of these ‘ti–“… er, breasts, I mean”. The mother kind of snickered under her breath, shy teenager completely mortified, doctor so red turning purple, and I peed a little. We got outside of the exam room door and I said to the doc…what the fuck is your problem? which his reply was.. “holy fuck!! What the fuck just happened in there?!?” To this day, we still have a good laugh about it.

    Reply
  22. Ben K says

    March 19, 2009 at 9:02 am

    Pittsburgh Pirates (3 Rivers) — couple of times, one was a 20-inning game with the Cubs
    Chicago Cubs (Wrigley)
    Chicago White Sox (old Comiskey)
    Oakland A’s (Oakland Coliseum or whatever it’s called)

    Oakland Raiders (the Black Hole) — the Raiders suck, but home games sure are fun, like being in the world’s biggest biker bar.

    Chicago Bulls (old Chicago Stadium)
    Utah Jazz (Salt Palace and Delta Center)

    Chicago Blackhawks (old Chicago Stadium)

    Since we’re including races, I’ve seen the Daytona 500 (a day of my life I’ll never get back), the Indy 500, 24 hrs. at Daytona, LeMans, and F1 in Indy, Montreal, Britain, Hockenheim, and Monza. Plus a bunch of others, but those were kind of minor-league.

    Never had any doctors who swore, or who were memorable in any other respect for that matter.

    Reply
  23. Lew in Bama says

    March 19, 2009 at 9:12 am

    Stadiums:
    NFL
    Tennessee Titans (LP Field)

    MLB
    Atlanta Braves (Fulton)
    Toronto Blue Jays (have no idea what it’s called)

    NASCAR
    Atl Motor Speedway
    Talledega

    NCAA Football
    Alabama (Bryant Denny)
    Auburn (Jordan-Hare)

    Reply
  24. Jerry in WV says

    March 19, 2009 at 9:14 am

    Hey Big Bear – I snapped my arm, just below the shoulder joint. It was actually in 3 pieces. Had to wait over night until the surgeon came to repair it. When he got there he said, “Jerry, do you know how badly you are hurt? I said that I was told I had a broken arm. Then he said, “true, but let me explain……. your arm snapped in 3 pieces. You tricep and front deltoid detached from the bone and all that is holding you arm onto your body is skin and blood vessels! It is basically cut off from the inside, but i can fix it!” He did too! Works great now. Just have titaninum for most of my upper arm. Most of the bone is gone. Bill in WV has seen the x-rays. Gruesome.

    Reply
  25. mad motrcyclist says

    March 19, 2009 at 9:16 am

    Had a girlfriend in college, Darcey was her name, who told me that one time while she was at the doc’s office the doc made a somewhat inappropriate comment. He was doing some sort of pelvic exam and while he had two fingers in her cooch and one in her ass simultaneously, he decided that it was the appropriate time to tell her she had a really nice tan and how much he liked tan lines. Not exactly swearing, but still a bit odd.

    Reply
  26. Carlos says

    March 19, 2009 at 9:49 am

    I haven’t been to many live sports venues:

    COLLEGE FOOTBALL
    Florida State University — Doak Campbell Stadium

    NBA
    Orlando Magic — TD Waterhouse Center (formerly the “O-rena” and now named something else…)

    ECHL HOCKEY
    Tallahassee TigerSharks — Tallahassee Civic Center

    I gotta say, though, the ECHL (farm-league hockey, about two steps down from NHL) hockey games were great! Being a poor student at the time, the games, usually two a week, were cheap entertainment; about $6 a ticket. You get everything, music, lights, nachos, hot chicks selling beer, fights, and the game itself was fun since the TigerSharks in the early days were pretty good. And the zamboni…don’t forget the zamboni… There’s something mesmerizing about watching a giant toaster scoot around the ice and making it all nice and smooth between periods. God help me if the zamboni driver missed a spot. I need help.

    I’ve never had any doctors that swore, but my worst doctor experience was needing a wisdom tooth pulled on Christmas Eve. The oral surgeon wanted to wait until after the holidays, but I didn’t have enough pain killers for two weeks of intractable pain. He was so pissed off that I’m pretty sure he injected me with chicken boullion instead of novocaine just to inflict as much pain as possible in retribution. He then grabbed my head and jammed what looked like a Klingon weapon into my mouth and quickly pried the tooth out. I thought I was going to die, but it got worse when he took that “Marathon Man” hooky thingy and then rooted around the newly formed hole for no other reason that I saw other that to satisfy his grotesque desires. Even with my mouth wratcheted open with another sadistic aluminum apparatus, I was screaming “F*CK!!” (or “HHHUUUUCKKK!”…) so vehemently with blood coming out of my mouth like I was in a “Saw” movie, the nurse got all upset had to leave the room. The doc then jammed a handful of gauze into my mouth and ran from the room screaming “good luck!” with his suitcase and plane tickets. Fifteen minutes after arriving, I drove home with a mouth full of bloody gauze dripping on my shirt and my soul forever tainted. From now on, I’m getting the gas! That’s a tip, write it down…

    Reply
  27. Gretchen says

    March 19, 2009 at 10:11 am

    @Carlos: Yeah, no one should be awake for a tooth pull. I had a botched root canal where they ended up having to extract the fucked up tooth. I got novocaine but it was still unpleasant, what with all the medieval-looking tools and the breakdance moves the oral surgeon did for leverage. I went back a week later and he yanked out a fragment that had surfaced, sans warning or painkiller, and that resulted in a “hhuuuuck!” or two from me. So I can’t even imagine what you went through.

    Reply
  28. cross lanes curmudgeon says

    March 19, 2009 at 10:52 am

    Once had to visit a dentist while on vacation in Oregon, who wore a marijuana leaf medalion, and used a lot of “dudes” and “mans” in his chairside banter. His work was satisfactory, but I kept wondering if he’d take a giggling fit while drilling and filling my molar.

    Reply
  29. Willie Williams says

    March 19, 2009 at 11:11 am

    When my wife was having our first child, after 18 hours of labor with no epidural, her female obstetrician told her to stop being a pussy and start pushing harder. She then proceeded to start pushing on her stomach which caused my wife to say, “Get your hands off my stomach you c$nt before I kill you.”

    Needless to say, she changed doctors soon after that.

    As for pro stadiums, I don’t have the time to list them. My list is really quite long as I’m a huge fan of every sport and have travelled extensively around the US and rest of the world. Three different ones would be the “Stadium” course at TPC Sawgrass, Louis Armstrong Stadium for the U.S. Open and Centre Court (now Rod laver Arena) for the Australian Open in Melbourne.

    Reply
  30. Charles in PA says

    March 19, 2009 at 11:26 am

    Football:
    E A G L E S! ( The Vet, Giants Stadium, Texas Stadium, Heinz Field)
    Cowboys ( Texas Stadium )

    Baseball:
    Phillies ( The Vet, Citizens Bank Park)
    Yankees ( Yankee Stadium )
    Rangers ( Rangers Stadium )
    Orioles ( Camden Yards )
    Pirates ( PNC Park )

    Hockey
    Flyers ( Spectrum, Wachovia Center )
    Penguins ( Mellon Arena )
    All-Star Game ’92 both days ( Spectrum )

    College B-Ball ( I spit on pro, if u want to call it that, b-ball )
    St Johns ( Spectrum )
    VILLANOVA!! ( Wachovia )

    TIP OFF HAS BEGUN PEOPLE!!!

    Nobody in the medical profession that I’ve dealt with has cursed like a trucker.

    Reply
  31. bikerchick says

    March 19, 2009 at 11:39 am

    @ Carlos…. Dude, that was one of the funniest stories I have read!! Don’t have to write it down, it will forever be etched in my head!

    Reply
  32. Jason says

    March 19, 2009 at 11:39 am

    Last time I went to the dentist I kept wondering why he was dancing around me while wearing a pair of cocount tits. Then I thought, “Naw, that’s just the gas playing tricks on me.” I hope.

    Reply
  33. Charles in PA says

    March 19, 2009 at 11:57 am

    O and how could I forget The Harlem Globetrotters ( Spectrum)

    Reply
  34. Poo says

    March 19, 2009 at 12:06 pm

    I had to have a physical a few years back. As the doctor was about to grab my boys and ask me to cough, he looked down and said “Hell….your no Bill Clinton now are yah”. F’in mo!!!

    Reply
  35. Jorge says

    March 19, 2009 at 12:59 pm

    Oh, I have also been refused entry to Augusta National. And I was in a clean, newish 4 door sedan and wearing a suit and tie. And I was at the back gate.

    The guard was very polite and pointed me to a phone over by the sod farm. He gave me a list of stuff that I could buy for souvineers and told me that if I called the number on the sheet someone from the Pro Shop would bring out my order.

    Then he gave me a few ball markers and score cards and we talked about the place for a while. He told me some pretty cool stuff about the club.

    Reply
  36. Kathleen says

    March 20, 2009 at 7:53 am

    MLB
    Detroit Tigers – Tiger Stadium
    Detroit Tigers – Comerica Park (although I always call it Tiger Stadium)
    SF Giants – Candlestick Park
    Oakland A’s – Oakland Coliseum
    Milwaukee Brewers – Miller Park

    NHL
    Detroit Red Wings – Joe Louis Arena
    Never saw the Wings play at Olympia, but I did the Ice Capades there when I was 6 or so.
    LA Kings (playing the Wings) – LA Forum
    San Jose Sharks – Shark Tank & Oakland Coliseum
    St. Louis Blue (playing the Wings) – Savvis Center
    Columbus Blue Jackets – wherever the hell they play

    NBA
    Detroit Pistons – Cobo Arena/Hall

    NFL
    Detroit Lions – Silverdome

    F1
    Circuit Gilles Villeneuve – Montreal

    CART/Champ Car
    Cleveland Burke Lakefront Airport
    Laguna Seca Raceway
    Detroit – Downtown and Belle Isle courses
    Michigan International Speedway
    Chicago Speedway
    Road America
    Long Beach
    Mid-Ohio Sports Car Course
    Toronto Exhibition Place
    Edmonton Airport Course
    Milwaukee Mile
    Los Hermanos Rodriguez Autodromo – Mexico City

    NHRA
    Sears Points – Sonoma, CA

    NASCAR
    Michigan International Speedway (BORING)
    Sears Point – Sonoma, CA (nightmare getting into and out of)

    IMSA/ALMS
    Mid-Ohio Sports Car Course
    Road America
    Road Atlanta
    Laguna Seca Raceway
    Long Beach

    Reply
  37. Kathleen says

    March 20, 2009 at 8:00 am

    Crap, how’d I forget Vegas?

    Champ Car/CART
    Vegas Raceway/speedway – oval
    Vegas Street Race around the old downtown – that kicked ass.

    ’93 Indy 500

    Univ of Michigan hockey – Yost Arena – I swore I would never go back I was appalled by the chants of the students.

    Chicago Blackhawks ( playing the Wings) – United Center

    Reply
  38. LunaChickNYC says

    March 20, 2009 at 2:34 pm

    Me and my boyfriend took our dog to the vet right after Hurricane Katrina and the vet casually threw in as we were discussing the dog the rain and the hurricane how he kissed his first transsexual down in New Orleans. I think even my dog was like wtf?

    Reply
  39. Kevindust says

    March 22, 2009 at 2:42 am

    NHL
    Ottawa Sens at Civic Centre
    Ottawa Sens at Palladium/Corel Centre/Scotiabank Place

    CFL
    Ottawa Renegades at Frank Clair Stadium

    F-1
    Circuit Gilles Villeneuve – Montreal

    NHRA
    Sanair, Quebec

    ISMA
    Oswego Speedway (I’ve only missed one Classic Weekend at the big O since Jimmy Shampine raced there. d.1982)

    Nascar
    1989 Daytona 500 (Tom and Nicole were there filming Days of Thunder – Tommy C did 140mph solo laps before the race while being chased by a chopper w/cameras and they also did crowd scenes…so yeah, I’m in the movie along with 160,000 of my closest friends)
    1994 Pocono July
    2007 Dover Sept
    2008 Louden Sept

    Woodstock 1999 (Trust me, it was a “sporting” weekend)

    Reply
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