Right, and now it’s time to take a break from politics. I don’t write about it here, because there are already too many know-nothings reciting at length the talking-points of their favorite team, I mean political party. But I follow all that stuff, and absorb way too much of it.
And I plan to take a prolonged vacation at this point. I’m going to listen to music, read books, watch movies, have more fun with the Surf Report, and act like an idiot around my family. My soul needs to be purged of the poisons…
And just the thought of not thinking about it anymore makes me happy. Politics can kiss my ass.
We’re going to West Virginia for Thanksgiving, and I’m really looking forward to that, as well. I don’t think we’ve been to my parents’ house in more than a year, the chaos that is our everyday life won’t allow it.
But the Secrets get out of school half-day on Wednesday, and we’re gonna hit the road. We already know it will be a traffic extravaganza, especially on the Boulevard of Shouted Profanity (Interstate 81), but who cares? We’ll have a load of good CDs, premium snacks, and no deadlines.
And when we finally arrive, it’ll be nothing but comfort food and nodding off in recliners. Can’t wait!
What are your plans for Thanksgiving? Are you going to be out on the road, getting in my way and testing my resolve to remain calm? Or will family be descending on your life? Not that anyone asked, but I much prefer being the descender, than the descendee. Ya know?
Speaking of comfort food… I’m somehow associated with lemon meringue pie in my family. And I’m not really sure how it happened.
I mean, I certainly like it, but don’t most people? I don’t believe my enthusiasm for it is excessive (I’m not out robbing liquor stores to support a lemon pie habit, or anything), but I’ll be forever linked to it in our fambly.
Are you strongly associated with some kind of food? Do people make cute little jokes along the lines of, “Oh, everybody knows better than to get between Jeff and his lemon pies!” (Sheesh.) Is it legitimately earned, or the product of questionable mythology created over decades?
Tell us about it in the comments. And how long do you think it would take for me to become associated with this pie? Or is transition even possible, once a myth has taken hold?
And I have one more question for you folks, before I pull the plug on this brief and inexplicably blissed-out update. It’s a follow-up to a conversation I had with the Secrets last weekend…
Are you able to close one eye, while keeping the other one open? I can only do it one-way; I can close my left eye, and keep the right one open. But it won’t work the other way ’round.
The older boy has complete control of his lids, and can make them do whatever he wants. It’s amazing to me. But is it unusual? Are most people endowed with such a talent? Am I, once again, the weird one?
Help me out with it, won’t you?
And while we’re at it, tell me about your eyebrow abilities. Can you lift one, and keep the other at rest? Like Belushi? I’m unable to do that one, at all. They’re either both up, or both down. I almost pulled a forehead muscle trying to accomplish a one-up.
Just so you know… I’ll be unveiling the new Surf Report t-shirt design in the next few days, and think you guys are going to be amazed. The Evil Twin has been working on it, and it’s very cool indeed.
This time ’round we’ll be going with an army green shirt, with white ink, and possibly a second ink color, as well. Hopefully we’ll be able to have them printed, and in everyone’s hands before Christmas. That’s going to be the goal.
Once the design is completed I’ll create a pre-order page, and we’ll get the ball rolling. I’ve already spoken with The T-Shirt Lady, and she’s ready to go. Like Jeff Kay in front of one of “his” pies.
I’m excited about this one, folks, and looking forward to your reactions.
See ya tomorrow.
You’re a dream girl. And I don’t care who knows it. So pretty. So smart. Sheesh.
LOL ……….I just find it all amusing.
Do you do birthday parties?
Good idea, OnaWho! I’d like to bring Jason to the company Christmas party. (mostly though, to change my reputation from “the girl that drinks too much and ends up accidentally using the mens room” to something far more interesting)
oh my god. i AM chatty.
Yes, Brandy, I might be able to help you with your party. I’ll do it, just to help you out. See how nice I am? I’ll get a Kenny Rogers CD and shag ass down to Florida. But be nice to me. Okay? Cause really, I’d be nice to you – you cute chatty thing.
And OnaWho, yes, I do birthday parties. I usually end up going home without being paid. “Take your hands off my wife!” and “Why are you kissing her neck, pervert?” or “Good Lord, put away your penis!”
That’s what I’m used to hearing. Pfft. Whatever. I’m an artist.
To laugh is good, isn’t it? Yes it is.
Do you see what is going on here?!? I didn’t know this site doubled as Match.com. This is a perfect example of what happens when someone says “See ya tomorrow” and then never shows. It’s a sad state of affairs (and i mean affairs) I must say.
But… it is pretty funny!
For the love of God, update! Tiny turkeys, dead dogs, Frito fudge – it’s getting absurd. Throw us a lifeline. Do your thing. PLEASE!
what if this is some kind of sick social experiment by Jeff Kay to see just how far it will go? In any case, I’m done for the night. My “dinner” is starting to kick in.
fucking aye. Bye bye, Brandy.
Greg, I love you man.
Looks like I’m all alone in this world. Jeff, if you sell t-shirts that are cut for certain body shapes I hope you’ll be discreat as to who buys what. Because I might go for the female cut. By “female cut” do we mean shirts that accomidate huge tits? Because my tits are huge. If I could get a shirt that works with large tits and a giant stomach, I’m all over it. Put me down for about 10 of those. I guess I’ve becomed pear shaped. So what? I still have needs and desires.
I’m playing catch up so bear with me kiddies:
Tires: I know I’m a car guy and not a computer guy but I still can’t imagine how anyone can do hours of research and agonize for weeks over the purchase of a third household laptop and PC (handy but unnecessary) and yet do absolutely no research whatsoever for a set of tires (which your livelyhood and the lives of you and your family depend on…)
The Michelin LTX is a Pick-up/SUV/Van tire! No wonder zitface behind the counter looked at you like you’re an idiot…asking for truck tires for your Camry? Planning on doin’ some off roadin’ there Jeffy? Even if he wanted to sell them to you, they don’t come in that size…I bet those garage boys were havin a good laugh at you! (Just sayin’)
Politics: Congrats, ya’ll give a whole new meaning to the words “token figurehead”
Count me in for a t-shirt.
Jason, you’re funny. Brandy, you’re funny and HOT!
Thanks. I don’t know if funny and drunk are interchangeable, but I’m more the latter. Hell, I’ve been this way for three or four days now (seems like) and I wish Jeff would just get on with it and reset us. I’m doing my part to take us to 200 comments, which I think would be a record of some sort.
Brandy is sharp. She also has pretty hands. Did you notice that? I did. Does that make me a “freak”? Guess so.
I suppose I’ll sober up tomorrow. So, no more funny stuff from me. Sorry.
I can top all of that. In 2003 I had bells palsy and half of my face was paralyzed for about 10 weeks. No eyelid control, and I mean none, I had to tape my eye shut with paper tape every night so it would not get dried out.
In my family I am associated with Jello brand Butterscotch pudding. I would ask my mother to buy some and make it for me, and of course I was the only one who liked the taste. No one else would eat it and so I had all to myself.
Now, when I go back for a visit and stay a few days I bring a box of the same and make it for myself to eat while I am there.
Kevindust, as Helen Keller once despairingly finger-signed into the palm of her translator, “I don’t see what you see.”
I have total control over my eyelids, but not the eyebrows.
No clue on what’s happening with Thanksgiving. Grandma’s now in an assisted living place, and my aunt (where we’ve had the past 3 or so T-givings) might be in Chicago as her oldest daughter just gave birth to the first grandchild. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday and I’m afraid it’s going to suck this year.
Pumpkin pie, but because I hate it and for years Grandma would ask me, “Kathleen, Chiffon or Regular?” And I’d say, “Neither, Grandma. I hate pumpkin pie.” Her response (for YEARS) was, “Really? I didn’t know that.”
Eyelids…full control….eyebrows…only the left one. My nine-year old can raise her right brow only.